Football Ramble

Antonio Conte “welcomes” his former club Chelsea, Pep Guardiola “welcomes” some former players to Manchester, our Spurs play against the German Spurs, Newcastle re-start their feud with PSG, Liverpool have to hold their nerve against Qarabag, and Arsenal… erm, yeah. And Arsenal.

The Champions League first phase finale is here and there is bucket loads of narrative for the neutrals to enjoy. Today, Marcus, Jim and Vish are here to preview it all.

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Marcus, Luke and Jim try to have a reasoned discussion about Arne Slot’s reputation after a middling second season and the looming figure of Xabi Alonso - but we keep returning to Marcus’ undying love for gammon.

Plus, we long for the return of the purely vibes-based manager, wonder if it’s too late for Harry Wilson to join a bigger club and try to find some aesthetically delightful players who were actually bang average.

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Weeks ago, Luke suggested that Arsenal are running out of steam. He was ridiculed, shamed, the pitchforks came out. But what if he was right all along?

Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete dive headfirst into the possibility of Arsenal not winning the league again. Also, The Great Escape™ is showing at theatres in East London. Speaking of which, could Tottenham get dragged into a relegation scrap?

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Just as it looked like all hope was lost, the Ehantharajah Empire is here to rescue us! That's right, Vish is back and ready to rip the belt from the waist of the Luke Nation.

Vish experienced defeat in Australia, so will history repeat itself or will Luke be slain? The tax-free principality of Donaco is back on the buttons.

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Things are finally starting to look good for Manchester United ahead of their big game against Arsenal this weekend. A convincing win against their city rivals last weekend sets them up nicely for a visit to the league leaders. So is Vish feeling confident? Well, what do you think?

He joins Luke and Pete to preview that game. Plus, Diego Costa questions Antonio Conte's sexual capacity, Eden Hazard launches a wine brand, and the police prepare for more equine assaults at Fratton Park.

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