The Big Drink Rethink

Who am I? What do I stand for? What kind of life do I want to live? These aren't questions reserved for lecture halls. If you've ever tried to change your relationship with alcohol, you've already been asking them.
This week, Anna Donaghey is joined by Peg O'Connor, professor of philosophy, author and a woman in long-term recovery, to bring philosophy out of academia and into everyday life. Together they make the case that anyone grappling with change is already a philosopher at heart.
Peg shares her lived experience of addiction and what it taught her about shame, self-belief and the quiet pull of living on autopilot. She and Anna explore why recovery works better as an ongoing experiment than a fixed identity, and how reclaiming genuine agency and a sense of belonging to yourself can change everything.
Whether you're sober, sober curious or simply questioning the role alcohol plays in your life, this conversation will leave you thinking differently about who you are and who you're becoming.

Highlights:
00:00 Meet Peg O'Connor: philosopher, author, and recovering alcoholic
01:16 The big questions addiction and philosophy both ask
03:26 Why everyone in recovery is already a philosopher
04:09 Ancient philosophy: "How do we live and flourish?"
09:10 Knowing you're in trouble, but unsure how to change
12:00 The fatalism and isolation of shame
14:53 39 years sober and still treating every day as a new experiment
18:45 Hitting all of life's benchmarks but still losing yourself
21:31 Alcohol freedom as a gateway not the destination
22:28 Happiness as despair’s hiding place (Kierkegaard)
24:05 Functioning on autopilot; the tyranny of "fine"
26:14 The torment of not feeling fully present
32:09 The transformative question: "What do I deserve?"
33:04 Why philosophy doesn’t judge, but invites exploration
34:19 What philosophers say about will and change
38:40 Painting a vivid picture for your future; setting a new compass
40:12 Embracing agency and accepting responsibility
43:09 Stoic wisdom: controlling what you can, accepting what you can't
47:05 Dialogue is at the heart of philosophy and recovery
47:48 Peg’s new book: “Recovering Character: Overcoming Addiction and Belonging to Yourself”
53:08 Examining life is what makes it worth living.
Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Peg O’Connor:
Peg O’Connor has been a professor of philosophy for more than thirty years.
Active in her own addiction to alcohol, Peg came to recognise she was deeply disoriented in her own life. She didn't recognise herself and had no idea who she was or wanted to be. She had no self-respect. She didn't belong to herself but rather to the alcohol she was drinking, the unrealistic expectations she put on herself, and a boatload of grievances.
She knew she didn't want to keep living the way she was. Knowing what we don't want to do or be is a first step to changing - but it isn't enough. Philosophy became Peg's travelling companion on the journey to find out who she is, and what she stands for. She believes it helped her to get and stay sober - helping her name what she had lost and plot a course to get it back. Or create it for the first time.

Connect with Peg:
Website: https://pegoconnorauthor.com/
Mentioned in this episode:
Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

This episode explores one of the most persistent beliefs about drinking: the idea that alcohol is essential for relaxation. If you've ever found yourself reaching for a drink after work or on a quiet afternoon almost automatically, you're not alone. Your host Anna Donaghey shares how this learned habit is driven by deep-seated beliefs, many of which never truly belonged to us in the first place.

With clarity and compassion, Anna examines the gap between what alcohol actually does in our bodies and the soothing myth we've been sold. She explores why we come to rely on alcohol to "switch off," how these patterns are modeled by family and culture, and the powerful role of questioning our inherited beliefs. Along the way, she offers science-backed insights into alcohol's real impact on stress and sleep, plus practical, gentle alternatives for anyone ready to try something new.

Highlights:
00:02 Automatic drinking after work: is it really relaxing?
02:02 How beliefs drive thoughts and thoughts drive drinking habits
03:47 The deeper belief: “I can’t relax without alcohol”
05:16 Why “switching off” often means marking a change of state
06:08 The truth: first drink relaxes you, then belief takes over
07:12 Family, culture, and media model alcohol as the only way to unwind
08:09 “Says who?”, questioning where our beliefs come from
09:12 Is alcohol actually removing stress or just postponing it?
10:21 The science: alcohol as a stressor, not a stress-reliever
13:28 The turnaround: alcohol creates more stress than it relieves
15:17 Easy experiment: alternatives that signal “the day is done”
16:42 Free, simple rituals to replace the evening drink
17:28 Looking upstream at the real pressures behind drinking
18:18 You were never incapable of relaxing, you just weren't shown other ways.

Want some easy reset ideas? Have a listen to Episode 68: Toolkit '101': 5-Minute Resets: Go-To Alternatives to Alcohol: https://pod.fo/e/2cf33d

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

Mentioned in this episode:
Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

This episode touches on addiction and on the loss of a child to a fatal overdose. It's a tender one, so please take care whilst listening. And if that's not something you have capacity for today, it's completely okay to come back another time.

What if the person you love is slipping away beneath the weight of addiction, and you’re left battling shame, silence, and a culture that blames individuals while ignoring the deeper crisis? In this profoundly moving episode, Anna Donaghey speaks to Katie Rizzo, a mother who lost her son Nicholas to a fatal overdose after years of struggling with alcohol and substance dependence.

This is a story shaped by grief, but also by everything that comes after. Katie bravely challenges the stigma and secrecy that surround addiction within families and in society at large. She shares Nicholas’s sensitive nature, the anxiety that haunted him, and the relentless pressure to appear happy and successful. Anna and Katie discuss how addiction is viewed as a personal failing, why shame forces families into silence, and what it means to support a loved one with compassion rather than judgement.

You’ll hear firsthand about the ways social comparison, anxiety, and unrealistic ideals fuel substance misuse in young people and why the myth of individual willpower is so dangerous. Anna and Katie invite listeners to rethink not only how we talk about drinking, but how vulnerability, honesty, and community are the real routes to healing.

Highlights:
00:00 Trigger warning: addiction and the loss of a child
01:13 Who Nicholas was, behind the statistics and labels
03:46 How social pressure and anxiety feed substance use
07:13 Why “this isn’t the real me”: inside the mind of addiction
12:52 The myth of willpower, the reality of relapse
18:20 Family stigma and shame: breaking the silence
28:22 Why addiction is a human issue not a moral failing
35:51 Loving a person, not the addiction
41:30 “I’m not the mother who failed her son”, the truth about blame
44:42 Why compassion, vulnerability, and honesty combat shame.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Katie Rizzo:
Katie Rizzo is a mother, former high school science teacher, and writer based in Arizona.
Her oldest son, Nicholas, died from an accidental overdose after a long struggle with anxiety and addiction - first to alcohol, then to benzodiazepines and prescription opioids.
Since his passing, Katie has found her way through grief with the support of Al-Anon and grief communities, and has turned to writing as a way of processing what she's lived through. She is the author of two forthcoming books: Trimesters of Grief (October 1st) and a poetry collection, None of Them Are You (November 1st).

Connect with Katie:
Website: https://katierizzo.com/
Mentioned in this episode:
Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

What if reaching for a drink when life feels overwhelming isn’t actually helping you cope, but is instead blocking your real resilience? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the powerful belief that “alcohol helps me cope” and why it might be time to rethink it.

Anna walks listeners through how our beliefs drive our thoughts and behaviours, using real-life examples and her own experience during maternity leave, to break down the difference between numbing and coping.

You’ll learn how to identify the underlying beliefs fueling your urge to drink when things get tough, why numbing with alcohol doesn’t actually resolve hard feelings and the cultural scripts and common myths that keep us reaching for alcohol.

If you’ve ever felt like you “need” a drink to get through tough times or want to trust yourself to deal with life’s challenges without alcohol, this episode is for you. Check out the free worksheet and resources mentioned at https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources to continue your exploration.

Highlights:
00:00 Introduction
01:34 How beliefs drive drinking: breaking down the behaviour-thought-belief chain
02:36 The “alcohol helps me cope” belief and why it’s so fundamental
04:20 Distinguishing between drinking for crisis vs. drinking for everyday discomfort
07:17 Alcohol as the UK’s “favourite coping mechanism”
10:33 Evidence: Alcohol worsens depression, anxiety, and stress over time
12:54 Practical tool: Name the hard thing out loud or write it down
14:58 Reflection exercise: “I don’t think I could cope with ___ without a drink.”

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk
Mentioned in this episode:
Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

What if the craving you feel for a drink is actually a craving for relief, regulation, or connection, and there’s another, more healing way to get it? In this episode, your host Anna Donaghey is joined by breathwork practitioner Jon Paul Crimi, whose powerful personal story weaves together addiction, grief, emotional numbness, and a breathwork experience that profoundly shifted his life.

They discuss why most people reach for alcohol (it isn’t what you think), how drinking becomes our “solution” for regulating uncomfortable emotions, and the striking similarities between addiction and the universal longing for a shift in state. Jon Paul breaks down what breathwork really is (spoiler: it’s not just box breathing!) and shares how circular, connected breathwork specifically offers a physiological and emotional “reboot” making space for release, self-connection, and even joy. Anna shares her first-hand experience with his class, highlighting how breathwork can offer real, lasting relief that alcohol promises but can’t deliver.

Whether you’re sober-curious, in recovery, or just looking to break free from unhelpful patterns and cravings, this conversation points to practical, science-backed ways to rethink your drinking.

Highlights:
00:00 Welcome & intro to breathwork
01:01 Jon Paul’s story: addiction, loss, and seeking relief
04:13 When drinking goes from fun to just problems
07:29 The emotional “arrest” that comes from early drinking
08:25 Grief, trauma, and the search for tools
11:05 Why our brains equate alcohol with relief
14:15 What finally made sobriety stick
19:26 How breathwork entered Jon Paul’s life 12 years into sobriety
22:44 The first breathwork class: from scepticism to transformation
28:01 How breathwork helps regulate cravings, states, and emotions
30:17 Craving isn’t the enemy, it’s information
34:10 Breathwork vs. psychedelics: power inside YOU
35:48 What actually happens in a circular breathwork class
39:00 “Turning off your brain” and moving into your heart
46:08 Using breathwork for current and past pain, grief, and shame
52:16 Cravings, choices, and living an extraordinary life.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced by winteraudio.co.uk
About Jon Paul Crimi:
Jon Paul Crimi is a world-renowned breathwork facilitator, teacher trainer, and recovery advocate - known for a zero-filter, East Coast approach that strips breathwork of its "New Agey" reputation and replaces it with something practical and results-driven enough to win over sceptics, CEOs, and everyday people alike.
He started out as an actor, celebrity fitness trainer, and sober coach in Los Angeles, carrying his own struggles with alcoholism, addiction, and low self-worth long before he found a way through them. Almost by accident, around 15 years ago, he wandered into a breathwork class and had a transformation so profound in that first session that it reshaped the entire direction of his life. He's now 26 years sober, and that lived experience - not theory - is what sits underneath everything he teaches.
His method is trauma-informed at its core, built around somatic release, nervous system regulation, and processing the emotional weight people carry without always knowing it. It's also gone mainstream in a way few breathwork practices have.
He runs weekly live classes, digital workshops, and his Emotional Detox course.

You can find him, and all of it, at: https://breathewithjp.com/

Mentioned in this episode:
Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.