The Catholic Gentleman

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Drift It accumulates in the gap between who we intended to be and who we've actually become. Recent studies show that 63% of men wish they didn't have to be adults, and 41% of men between 24 and 29 don't feel like adults at all. That's not a personality quirk. That's a crisis.

This week, John and Devin trace how we got here, from G. Stanley Hall's early 1900s invention of adolescence as a cultural category, to the market forces and generational messaging that turned extended boyhood into an identity.

But the the deeper question is what it actually takes to move from boy to man, and the answer isn't hustle or stoicism. It starts with taking responsibility, stop blaming, and build toward conviction. As Aquinas makes clear, the order of love in a man's life begins with God and flows outward through vocation, marriage, and fatherhood. The irreplaceable call that cannot be transferred or replaced. And it ends with self-mastery, not as an end in itself, but because a man who cannot possess himself has nothing to give.

St. Paul says it plainly in 1 Corinthians 13:11: "When I became a man, I gave up childish ways."
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We know the temptations that hunt us, the ones we can't seem to outrun no matter how serious we get about our interior life. In this episode, John Heinen and Devin Schadt walk through a practical four-temptation framework with the corresponding virtues that combat each one. From lust as a disordered desire rather than a foreign attack, to the "respectable sin" of greed we praise as ambition, to the pride we cannot see in ourselves, to the sloth hiding inside our busiest days.

We get honest about why temptation is not the sign that we're losing but the sign that the devil has marked us because he's afraid of us, why tithing belongs to today and not to some future income, why we're called to pursue excellence without attaching ourselves to it, and what Mother Teresa told the priest who was too busy for adoration. This isn't a list of sins to feel bad about. It's the field on which virtue is won, built on the conviction that to be a man is to have virtue, and to have virtue is to have power.
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Video Producer – Pietro Damasceno

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John Sablan spent the better part of his adult life being what he now calls the X factor in his family: the one holding everything back. Raised in abuse, living a wayward life, he and his wife stumbled into the Catholic Church, and he settled comfortably into being lukewarm. His marriage came to the edge. Then at a men's conference, with a general confession, and a priest praying deliverance over him in Latin changed the trajectory. In this conversation, John Heinen and Devin Schadt sit down with John Sablan to get at the real roots of what's keeping men soft and what it actually takes to do something about it.

Rooted in Thomistic psychology (which he studied under Fr. Chad Ripperger), John defines effeminacy the way Aquinas did: not a personality flaw, but a moral vice. The inability to deny pleasure in order to pursue the arduous good. He unpacks the trap men fall into when they finally decide to get serious: trading softness for stoicism, white-knuckling virtue as a self-improvement project, making the whole thing about proving themselves rather than serving God. They also tackle why "do you want to save your marriage?" is the wrong question.

🔥 Follow John and all his work -
www.serviaminstitute.com
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www.worldablaze.org

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This stat should shake every Catholic father awake: 85 to 90 percent of kids raised in Catholic homes will leave the faith by adulthood.

We've somehow accepted that as normal. It's not. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Greg Popcak, a Catholic counselor with over 30 years in the trenches and author of more than 20 books, to talk about what the families who beat those odds are actually doing differently.

Greg walks me through the 12 research-validated habits that families who successfully pass on the faith all share in common, what he calls the Liturgy of Domestic Church Life. We get into why just dragging your kids to Mass and white-knuckling the family Rosary isn't enough if there's no joy behind it, why your kids need to experience the Faith as the source of the meaning in your home and not just the source of the rules. He breaks down what headship actually looks like when it's modeled after the ministerial priesthood rather than a dictator, and he tells a story from his time in Hong Kong about a father who tried to hug his daughter for the first time and she didn't even know what he was doing.

Catholic Hom App — https://www.catholichom.com/
Catholic Counselors — https://catholiccounselors.com/
More to Life — Greg and Lisa's daily EWTN radio program https://www.ewtn.com/radio/shows/more2life
Books by Greg Popcak: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B001JS8324/allbooks

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Exorcist priest Fr. Chad Ripperger grew up working in his father's diesel mechanics shop, where he learned that reality doesn't care what you think or how you feel. A bolt either fits or it doesn't. A machine is either fixed or it isn't. And a man is either being formed or he's being stunted. In this conversation, Fr. Ripperger unpacks why young men today are trapped in adolescence, what the curse of Adam has to do with effeminacy, and how the simple act of learning to use tools and do hard work is the antidote to the softness crippling an entire generation.

From the lessons his father taught him through one-liners and long days under the hood, to why men find such deep fulfillment in buying a new tool, to how his formation as a mechanic directly prepared him for his work as an exorcist, Fr. Ripperger connects the practical and the spiritual in a way only he can. If you're raising boys or trying to become the man you never had an example of, this one's worth your time.

This conversation was originally recorded in June 2024.

Get Fr. Ripperger's Book - Shop Talk - https://www.amazon.com/Shop-Talk-Catholic-Philosophical-Theological/dp/B0D5W954DK/ref=sr_1_1

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Video Producer – Pietro Damasceno
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