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The Multiverse Employee Handbook

Robb Corrigan
The Multiverse Employee Handbook
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  • Are We Close To Finding Alien Life?
    Are we about to make first contact… or have aliens left us on hold for the last 50,000 years with a playlist titled “Symphony for Quasar and Dark Matter in B-flat Minor”?   🎧 Love the show? Help us improve in 2 minutes: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM   This week, we uncover the universe’s most sophisticated hold music, decode messages about our planet’s extended warranty, and ask the big question: are we alone, or just really bad at cosmic customer service? Prepare for bureaucratic black holes, mathematically perfect false positives, and the creeping suspicion that the cosmos might be screening our calls. https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
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  • NASA and the Cosmic Tragedy of Apollo 18–20
    Discover how trained astronauts, assembled rockets, and planned lunar bases fell victim to the most destructive force in the universe: bureaucratic entropy. 🎧 Love the show? Help us improve in 2 minutes: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM In this episode of The Multiverse Employee Handbook, we explore the cosmic tragedy of Apollo missions 18 through 20, combining space exploration history with the peculiar art of cancelling the impossible just as it becomes inevitable. Whether you're a space enthusiast mourning humanity's missed opportunities or a project manager familiar with the sting of budget cuts, this episode will leave you questioning the laws of fiscal thermodynamics. Join us as we explore lunar geology through the lens of cancelled dreams and corporate quarterly reviews. In this episode, we present "The Phantom Launch Window" - a tale of what happens when Mission Planner Jenkins encounters quantum budget superposition and the peculiar bureaucratic forces that can transform Saturn V rockets from cosmic transportation into horizontal museum displays. Discover how Richard Gordon spent three years mastering the geological intricacies of Copernicus Crater for a mission that would be cancelled faster than lunar regolith in vacuum, explore the advanced rover technology and nuclear-powered observatories that were ready for deployment, learn about helium-3 mining reconnaissance that was fifty years ahead of its time, and understand how far-side radio telescope concepts from 1970 are finally being implemented in today's space programs. We'll also examine how NASA's current Artemis program faces the same budgetary quantum mechanics that killed Apollo 18-20, proving that some cosmic forces are more powerful than rocket engines. Discover why space exploration isn't just humanity's greatest adventure, but also our most expensive lesson in the difference between "mission ready" and "budget approved." Whether you're fascinated by cancelled space missions, curious about lunar geology, or just wondering how Tang became the beverage of cosmic disappointment, this episode blends historical tragedy with laugh-out-loud moments, taking you on an interdimensional journey through the graveyard of cosmic ambition. Remember: in the multiverse of space exploration, every cancelled mission exists in a superposition of "what could have been" and "what the spreadsheet observed into nonexistence" until someone opens the filing cabinet marked "Strategic Priorities." https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com   AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
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  • The Long, Strange History of Lagrange Points
    Ever wondered how to achieve perfect work-life balance in the vacuum of space? Join us for humanity's most successful example of building infrastructure before knowing what it's for! 🎧 Love the show? Help us improve in 2 minutes: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM Join us as we explore gravitational equilibrium through the lens of corporate facilities management and cosmic real estate. In this episode, we present "The Five-Point Parking Scheme" - a tale of what happens when sales department creativity meets 18th-century French mathematics. Discover why gravitational equilibrium isn't just floating in space aimlessly, but the universe's most elegant solution to cosmic parking problems with spectacular views and no meter fees. Whether you're a space enthusiast, facilities manager, or just wondering how to store prize horses at mathematically precise locations, this episode has something for everyone. AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human. https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com  
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  • Project West Ford: The Day the U.S. Tried to Fill Space with Needles
    Discover the most audacious Cold War experiment ever launched: America's plan to solve communication vulnerabilities by gift-wrapping Earth in 480 million copper needles. Explore how Project West Ford's spectacular failure accidentally created modern space law, international cooperation protocols, and the template for every space debris controversy since 1963. 🎧 Love the show? Help us improve in 2 minutes: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM   Welcome to the cosmic catastrophe that makes your worst IT project look like a masterpiece of restraint and fiscal responsibility. In this episode, we explore how America's response to nuclear communication blackouts involved the most expensive space jewelry in history—480 million precisely-cut copper needles deployed using mothball technology to create Earth's first artificial ionosphere. Our copper-plated communications coordinator guides us through humanity's greatest orbital accessorizing adventure, from the terrifying 1958 nuclear tests that severed communications across the Pacific to MIT Lincoln Laboratory's audacious solution: replace nature's vulnerable ionosphere with a better one made of cosmic haberdashery. Along the way, we witness Cabinetta Filesworth's existential storage crisis when Quantum Improbability Solutions' Square-Haired Boss demands an innovative solution to their filing cabinet overflow, leading to the discovery of quantum document compression through the brilliant insights of summer intern Samvit Gupta. Join us for this journey through Cold War engineering's greatest overreach, from nuclear communication nightmares to mothball deployment systems that briefly made Earth the solar system's most fashionably accessorized planet. Because in the multiverse of military communications, we're all just trying to call home across the vast darkness of space, though some of us are apparently willing to redecorate the entire cosmos with precisely-cut copper wire to make that happen.   AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.   https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com  
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  • Bonus Episode: The Strange Science of Time Crystals (feat. Frank Wilczek’s Wild Idea)
    Perpetual motion machines that actually work? Welcome to the impossible physics of time crystals! https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com Join us as we explore the bizarre world of temporal physics through the lens of academic accidents and quantum corporate bureaucracy. In this special bonus episode of The Multiverse Employee Handbook, we witness Nobel laureate Frank Wilczek's 2010 classroom moment when routine lecture prep accidentally broke the laws of physics, combining cutting-edge quantum mechanics with the kind of serendipitous discovery that would make any corporate R&D department weep with envy. Whether you're a quantum physics enthusiast, a lover of scientific impossibilities, or just wondering how perpetual motion machines finally got past the patent office, this episode will leave you questioning the nature of time itself. Take our 2-minute listener survey: https://tally.so/r/nr1evM   AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.
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About The Multiverse Employee Handbook

The Multiverse Employee Handbook is a science comedy podcast where workplace humor meets cosmic exploration. From quantum mechanics explained through staff meetings to space history through annual reviews, we decode scientific mysteries through corporate metaphors. Each episode combines rigorous science with absurdist office scenarios, whether exploring the strange physics of black holes or the equally baffling logic of expense reports. Perfect for curious minds who suspect their workplace might exist across multiple dimensions, we deliver astronomical insights wrapped in corporate satire. Whether you’re fascinated by the mysteries of dark matter or the inexplicable disappearance of break room snacks, our show provides genuine scientific knowledge with existential humor. Subscribe now to navigate both the cosmos and cubicle culture with equal parts wonder and skepticism! New episodes arrive every Tuesday, regardless of temporal anomalies.
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