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Reel Britannia

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Reel Britannia
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  • Episode 171 - The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, And Her Lover (1989)
    Welcome to Le Hollandais, the most fashionable restaurant in town, where the food is divine and the clientele is dreadful! Meet Albert, a gangster with Michelin-star vulgarity, and his elegant wife, Georgina, who’s desperately seeking a more palatable main course. She finds it in a quiet bookworm, and soon they’re having their cake and eating it too, right under Albert’s nose! What follows is a deliciously decadent tale of high fashion, haute cuisine, and hilariously unsubtle revenge. It’s a visual feast where the only thing more shocking than the menu is the table manners.  The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover (1989) Pray, draw back the heavy velvet curtain and step inside Le Hollandais, the kind of establishment where the decor is so ostentatiously opulent it borders on self-parody, and the food is so artfully constructed it seems a crime to actually eat it. This is not merely a restaurant; it is a theatre of consumption, a nightly opera of gluttony and grandeur, presided over by the stoic and endlessly patient French chef, Richard Borst. Each plate that emerges from his kitchen is a masterpiece, a testament to culinary genius. The tragedy, of course, is who gets to devour it. Enter, with all the subtlety of a foghorn in a library, the titular Thief: Albert Spica. A gangster of such profound and spectacular vulgarity, he makes a mockery of the very concept of refinement. Clad in suits that scream for attention and draped in gold thick enough to anchor a ship, Albert holds court every single night at his reserved table, the undisputed black hole of decorum in this universe of elegance. He doesn't so much dine as he performs, his booming voice ricocheting off the damask-lined walls as he pontificates on his own brilliance, bullies his sycophantic cronies, and tortures the staff with his boorish demands. He is a man who believes his wealth entitles him to treat the world as his personal spittoon, and Le Hollandais is his favourite target. And seated opposite him, a portrait of silent, simmering despair, is His Wife, Georgina. A creature of ethereal beauty and impeccable taste, she is as serene and elegant as her husband is brutish and loud. Trapped in a marriage that is less a partnership and more a hostage situation, Georgina endures Albert’s nightly tirades with the grace of a marble statue. Her rebellion is a quiet one, expressed through her meticulously curated wardrobe—each outfit a masterpiece of high fashion, a silent scream of defiance against the ugliness that surrounds her. She floats through the restaurant, a ghost at the feast, her eyes starved not for food, but for a morsel of kindness, a sliver of intellect, a life less… Albert. One fateful evening, her gaze drifts past her husband’s gesticulating form and lands upon a quiet man dining alone, absorbed in a book. This is Michael, Her Lover-to-be. He is everything Albert is not: gentle, learned, and capable of sitting still for more than five seconds. He reads, he eats with quiet appreciation, he exists without needing to suck all the oxygen from the room. To Georgina, he is not just a man; he is an escape hatch. A silent, smouldering glance is exchanged across the crowded room, a spark of conspiracy against the tyranny of bad taste. An affair is not just inevitable; it is a matter of aesthetic survival. And so begins one of the most audacious and absurd liaisons in cinematic history. With the tacit approval of the chef, Richard, who seems to believe that true love (or at least a desperate escape) is a cause worth risking his Michelin stars for, Georgina and Michael turn Le Hollandais into their personal playground. Their trysts are frantic, passionate, and hilariously brazen, conducted in every corner of the restaurant that isn't in Albert's direct line of sight. They find love in the cavernous, pristine kitchen amongst hanging pheasants and simmering pots. They embrace in the back of a lorry filled with rotting meat, the stench of decay a bizarre perfume for their blossoming romance. They even find refuge in the lavatories, a sanctuary of gleaming porcelain tiles. All the while, Albert sits just yards away, pontificating, stuffing his face, blissfully unaware that his wife is sampling a far more satisfying dish from the restaurant’s à la carte menu of patrons. But such a delicious secret cannot be kept forever. Albert, for all his brutishness, possesses a gangster’s low cunning. He begins to notice the lingering glances, the prolonged absences, the faint air of satisfaction about his wife that has nothing to do with the dessert trolley. His suspicion, once kindled, erupts into a volcanic rage. The discovery is brutal, swift, and horrifyingly inventive. Michael’s sanctuary, his world of books, becomes his tomb. In an act of supreme cruelty, Albert’s thugs force-feed the gentle scholar the pages of his favourite book before ending his life. This, Albert believes, is the end of the story. He is sorely mistaken. He has underestimated Georgina. The quiet, elegant statue has been shattered, and from the pieces emerges an avenging angel of haute couture. Her grief is not passive; it is a cold, hard, diamond-like fury. She seeks out the chef, Richard, not for comfort, but for collaboration. She has a recipe in mind, a final dish to be served to her husband—one that will ensure he finally gets what he deserves. The stage is set for a final, unforgettable confrontation where the main course is revenge, served ice-cold. It’s a visual feast where the only thing more shocking than the menu is the final bill. Bon appétit! "Looks like catfood for constipated French rabbits!"   Follow us on Twitter @rbritanniapod    Thanks for listening   Scott and Steven  
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  • Episode 170 - The Father (2020)
    Reel Britannia - a very British podcast about very British movies...with just a hint of professionalism.   This week, join Scott and Steven as they discuss'The Father'. A movie that poignantly depicts an elderly man's descent into dementia, masterfully portraying his disorienting reality. As Anthony's memory fractures, his daughter Anne struggles to care for him. The film uniquely places the audience within Anthony's confused perspective, where timelines shift and faces change, creating a deeply moving and unsettling exploration of aging, memory, and loss.   Episode 170 - The Father (2020)   All episodes at: https://directory.libsyn.com/shows/view/id/reelbritannia   Florian Zeller’s 2020 film, The Father, is a poignant and unsettling cinematic experience that immerses the audience directly into the disorienting world of an elderly man grappling with dementia. The story centers on Anthony (Anthony Hopkins), a fiercely independent and proud 80-year-old living in a spacious London flat. His daughter, Anne (Olivia Colman), struggles to care for him as his grasp on reality deteriorates, yet he vehemently rejects every caregiver she hires. The film's brilliance lies in its innovative narrative structure, which eschews a conventional linear plot for a fragmented and subjective perspective. We see the world through Anthony’s eyes, a confusing and ever-shifting landscape where time and space are fluid. Familiar faces inexplicably change, as different actors portray Anne and her husband, Paul. The layout of the apartment morphs, with rooms and furniture appearing and disappearing without warning, mirroring Anthony’s internal turmoil and profound sense of loss. This clever and disquieting approach masterfully conveys the frustration, fear, and confusion that dementia inflicts. The audience is placed in the same bewildering position as Anthony, questioning the reality of events and the identities of those around him. We share his moments of lucidity, which are heart-wrenchingly interspersed with paranoia and accusations, particularly his recurring belief that his cherished watch has been stolen. As the narrative unfolds, it becomes devastatingly clear that Anthony’s perception is unreliable. The flat we believe to be his is actually somwhere else, and his timeline of events is a jumble of memories, anxieties, and present moments. The film’s climax is not a singular event but a gradual and heartbreaking erosion of Anthony’s identity with some final gut wrenching scenes and a powerhouse performance from Anthony Hopkins. The Father is a powerful and empathetic exploration of dementia, leaving a lasting impression of the profound human tragedy of a mind unraveling.   "I don't need any help from anyone. And I'm not going to leave my flat. All I want is for everyone to fuck off. Having said that... it's been a great pleasure. Au revoir. Toodle-oo."   This and previous episodes can be found everywhere you download your podcasts Follow us on Twitter @rbritanniapod    Thanks for listening Scott and Steven
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  • Episode 169 - Hammer Britannia 018 - Maniac (1963)
    Reel Britannia - a very British podcast about very British movies...with just a hint of professionalism Fancy a twisted trip to France? Our American painter, Jeff, certainly gets more than he bargained for when he dallies with the alluring Eve. She cooks up a rather madcap scheme to spring her hubby, Georges, from the local asylum using a handy oxyacetylene torch. But hold onto your berets! This seemingly straightforward caper spirals into a fiery game of murder, mistaken identities, and shocking revelations. Turns out, some folks are just a tad maniacal, and poor Jeff's in a very sticky situation! Paranoiac (1963) Right then, pack your bags for the sun-drenched, yet surprisingly sinister, Camargue region of France! Our protagonist, the somewhat hapless American painter Jeff Farrell, arrives looking for inspiration but quickly finds himself ensnared in a rather sticky wicket. He catches the eye of the mature and manipulative Eve Beynat, who runs a local bar with her lovely stepdaughter, Annette. Eve spins a yarn about her husband, Georges, unjustly locked away in a nearby asylum for a crime he didn't commit – supposedly for using an oxyacetylene torch on his daughter's attacker. Before you can say "amour fou," Jeff is persuaded to help bust Georges out. The plan? Use that infamous torch to cut through the bars, or, if Georges has already shuffled off this mortal coil, to discreetly dispose of his remains. Naturally, things go wildly off-piste. The breakout seems to succeed, but soon a body turns up, and the ever-suspicious Inspector Etienne starts sniffing around. Jeff, bless his naive heart, finds himself sinking deeper into a quagmire of deceit, where identities blur and everyone seems to have a hidden agenda. Was Georges truly wronged? Is Eve the damsel in distress she claims? And what's Annette's real role in this increasingly dangerous charade? Prepare for twists, turns, and a climax that proves some folks are just plain maniacal! "You take a man's wife, Mr. Farrell, but not his money?"   You can find this and all our previous episodes everywhere you download your podcasts   Follow us on Twitter @rbritanniapod email: [email protected] #podcast #britmovie #reelbritannia #hammerhorror    Thanks for listening Scott, Steven and Mark
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  • Episode 168 - Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly (1970)
    Fancy a playdate that's to die for? Join Mumsy, Nanny, and their darling (if slightly overaged) Sonny and Girly! This charmingly unhinged family just adores making new friends and luring them back to their quaint estate for endless games. Just remember: follow the rules, or it's permanent naptime! Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly (1970) Get ready for a rollicking, if rather unnerving, trip to the countryside with Freddie Francis’s 1970 cult delight, "Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly"! Forget your typical family get-togethers; this aristocratic British clan, tucked away in their gloriously crumbling Gothic pile, has a very peculiar idea of fun, and it’s all part of their never-ending, ever-so-slightly lethal "Game." Meet the players, won't you? There's Mumsy (Ursula Howells), the lady of the manor, whose honeyed tones could charm the birds from the trees – right before she plots their untimely demise. Then we have dear old Nanny (Pat Heywood), ever loyal, ever simmering, and a stickler for the family’s rather unique traditions. And who could forget the children? Sonny (Howard Trevor) and Girly (Vanessa Howard) are grown-ups who’ve hit the pause button on maturing, preferring school uniforms and a particularly sinister brand of playtime. Their favourite pastime? Inviting charming chaps, affectionately dubbed "New Friends," back to their secluded estate for a jolly good… well, let's just say it rarely ends with a polite thank-you note. You see, these "New Friends" quickly discover that their weekend invitation comes with a few rather peculiar house rules. They're expected to join in the family’s whimsical, if decidedly menacing, games. Pop a clanger, try to leg it, or generally spoil the fun? Well, that’s a one-way ticket to "meeting the angels," a quaint family euphemism for a rather permanent departure, often captured on Sonny's home movie camera for a bit of fireside entertainment. The film wastes no time in showing us how previous guests have fared – it’s not pretty, but it’s frightfully inventive! Now, the real sport begins when a particularly sharp "New Friend" (the rather dapper Michael Bryant) wanders into their web. Unlike the others, this chap’s got his wits about him. He starts to notice the little cracks in this picture of domestic bliss: the glint of jealousy between Mumsy and Nanny, the oddly chummy vibes between Sonny and Girly, and young Girly’s rather blossoming, if thoroughly confused, interest in him. Our clever "New Friend" decides it’s time to shake things up a bit, playing the family members off against each other like a maestro of mischief. He turns on the charm, especially with the ladies, and watches the sparks fly! Girly’s head over heels, Mumsy sees a new star for her manipulative little shows, and Nanny? Well, Nanny’s green-eyed monster is having a field day. Sonny, bless his cotton socks, just wants things back to the way they were and gets increasingly tetchy. As our "New Friend" pulls the strings, the once-sacred rules of "The Game" get hilariously, and then dangerously, twisted. It’s not the captive causing the chaos anymore; it's the captors themselves, all clamouring for his attention and a slice of the power pie. The previously united, if terrifyingly bonkers, family starts to come apart at the seams, tumbling towards a climax that’s as wildly entertaining as it is darkly satisfying. "Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly" is a cheeky poke at the old stiff upper lip and the very idea of a 'proper' family, all wrapped up in a deliciously dark and witty package. It’s less about the blood and guts and more about the spine-tingling giggles and the sheer audacity of a household where innocence and insanity go hand-in-hand. So, if you fancy a film that’s truly one of a kind, step into their parlour – just be sure you know the rules of "The Game"! "In a happy family, you must always have rules."   Follow us on Twitter @rbritanniapod    Thanks for listening   Scott and Steven  
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  • Episode 167 - Thunderball (1965)
    Welcome to Reel Britannia-a very British podcast about very British movies ...with just a hint of professionalism. And a huge welcome back to Hal, contributer of wonderful reviews at the official Talking Pictures Podcast as well as host of his very own show Couple Indemnity. Hold onto your snorkels! In Thunderball, suave spy James Bond jets off to the sun-drenched Bahamas. Why the holiday? Because the villainous, eye-patch-wearing Largo of SPECTRE has pinched two atomic bombs and is holding the world to ransom! 007 must navigate treacherous waters, both literally and figuratively, charming allies like the stunning Domino while dodging Largo's aquatic thugs. Get ready for thrilling underwater battles, cool gadgets, and Bond proving that even a nuclear crisis can't cramp his impeccable style. It's a high-stakes game of global poker, and Bond's all-in! Thunderball(1965) In 1965's Thunderball, James Bond, played with maximum cool by Sean Connery, finds himself in a pickle when the notoriously nasty organization SPECTRE, specifically their number two main man, the delightfully devious and eye-patch-sporting Emilio Largo, makes off with two atomic bombs. Their asking price for not reducing a major city to a fine powder? A cool £100 million in diamonds.  Naturally, Her Majesty's Secret Service dispatches their best man, 007, who, after a rather explosive pre-title sequence involving a man in drag and a handy jetpack, tracks the villainy to the vibrant, sun-drenched Bahamas. Bond's mission quickly turns into a tropical tango of espionage. He crosses paths with the alluring Domino, who just happens to be Largo's mistress, and the fiery SPECTRE operative Fiona Volpe, who prefers lethal motorcycles to leisurely strolls. Armed with Q's latest toys – including gadgets perfect for underwater shenanigans – Bond dives headfirst into Largo's world, which is, conveniently, based around a superyacht and a rather shark-infested estate. The film culminates in an absolutely bonkers underwater battle royale, proving that fisticuffs are just as effective below the waves as they are on dry land. With the fate of a major city hanging in the balance, Bond and his newfound allies engage in a fin-tastic clash against Largo's scuba-equipped forces. Will Bond recover the bombs, get the girl, and deliver a perfect one-liner before the credits roll? You know the answer, but the fun is in watching him do it with effortless charm and a never-ending supply of air tanks!  "My dear girl, don't flatter yourself. What I did this evening was for King and country. You don't think it gave me any pleasure, do you?"   This and previous episodes can be found everywhere you download your podcasts Follow us on Twitter @rbritanniapod  Follow Couple Indemnity @coupleindemnity   Thanks for listening   Scott and Steven
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A very British podcast about very British movies...with the occasional hint of professionalism
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