Simon Mayo's Confessions

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for another batch of confessions.

In a classic from the crypt, a lonely trucker accepts one Guinness too many… then points a hopeful Beryl to entirely the wrong big red lorry.

Then it’s Jan’s rabbit escape that ends in an axe, a fingertip flap, and a grandad who chooses bunny retrieval over first aid.

Plus: a prison officer’s catastrophic coat-sniffing moment, and a first job interview ruined by dog poo, a blocked loo, and Captain Red Braces.

Got a confession? [email protected]

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the collective for a week of blocked sinks, fake hospital letters, and staff training-day chaos.

First, Susie’s raspberry-peach smoothie turns into a fermented crime scene that takes out the call-centre kitchenette. Then Jeanette commits peak springtime mischief by forging a hospital letter recommending “Morris dancing therapy” for her grumpy husband’s dodgy knee. Plus, Maurice’s 1966 snow-sculpture disaster, and Stan’s drama-teacher mate who sleepwalks into an unwanted performance.

Got a confession? [email protected]

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for an episode featuring village newsletters, VHS carnage and a cigarette-based science experiment that absolutely shouldn’t be repeated.

First, nine-year-old James “helps” his vicar dad with a community email…

Then Rebecca admits she turned a brand-new VHS player into a Hot Wheels garage, and let her little brother take the blame.

Plus: Andy’s weapon-grade party-popper cigarettes, and a micro-school teacher with the strangest problem of all.
Got a confession? [email protected]

Step into the confessional for a special delve into the crypt for this week's episode of Simon Mayo's Confessions!
First: a Devon carnival prank goes full folk‑horror when a lovingly crafted coffin is launched into a river… and drifts 20 miles into the local paper. Then a “helpful” son‑in‑law turns “bingo” into “strip club” on his mother‑in‑law’s phone — with an email to a politician as the punchline.
Plus: a dad accidentally cosplays as a hotshot surgeon (socks included), and a twin‑buggy wisecrack that haunts a marriage.
Got a confession? [email protected]

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for a week of stains, spirits and seriously questionable decisions

First up, a gem from the crypt: Soviet-era Ukraine, super-strength homemade vodka, and a flock of geese who get so hammered they’re mistaken for dead… until they reappear very much alive, very naked, and very honky.

Then Richard admits to provoking the Tokoloshi in 1970s South Africa. Mr P's confession involves 15 litres of carpet glue and one blamed child, and Mark & Elaine’s enjoy a drive‑thru… in an imaginary car.

Got a confession? [email protected]