How to Live more Pleasurably: What 700 People Told Me About Joy
When I posted the question “What is the most pleasant, non-sexual, non-drug experience a human can have?” on Substack, I had no idea it would resonate the way it did.Hundreds of people, most of them not even subscribed to my work, showed up and shared the most beautiful, heartfelt, funny, and deeply human answers.Over 700 responses poured in.And of course… being a slightly nerdy positive psychologist who loves a research rabbit hole, I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to go deeper.To sift through the answers, look for patterns, trace the emotional tones, and see what these reflections could teach us about joy, presence, connection, and wellbeing.So, I asked my glamorous assistant, ChatGPT to get stuck into some “Deep Research” and help me sort and analyse a sample of 278 responses from the full thread. Mainly because I was too lazily to keep pressing ‘see more responses’ after the first half an hour of doing it.Together, we created what you’ll find below: a full report of the most common themes, the top-liked responses, and the psychological frameworks that help us make sense of why these moments feel so good, and why they matter so much.The podcast episode gives an overview, a guided reflection through the main highlights and my positive psychology suggestions on how we can intentionally tap into more joy in our lives based on the answers and the positive psychology research to back it up.But this accompanying blog post is the full deep-dive, exploring all ten themes that emerged, with plenty of quotes, graphs, and commentary that didn’t fit into the audio version.I hope it makes you feel something.And I hope it reminds you how close joy really is, how woven into the ordinary it can be.Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Overview of ResponsesWhen a positive psychologist (that’s me!) asked on Substack, “What is the most pleasant, non-sexual, non-drug experience a human can have?”, hundreds of readers from the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and Europe poured out answers. Approximately 700 comments described moments of pure joy – from everyday comforts to profound life events. This analysis combs through a partial dataset of those responses (a few hundred representative comments) to uncover:* Top recurring themes of pleasant experiences (such as enjoying nature, bonding with others, and sensory delights).* Standout responses that resonated most (those with the most “likes” from readers).* Emotional tone clusters – whether experiences tended to be calming, connective, or awe-inspiring.We then interpret why these experiences matter using positive psychology concepts like hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, the “hedonic treadmill” of adaptation, the practice of savoring, and the nature of positive affect (joy, contentment, love, awe). The goal is to understand what these joyful moments tell us about human well-being today.Major Themes in Pleasant ExperiencesTop 10 themes by frequency of mention in the responses. Each bar shows how many comments fell into a given theme (many comments touched multiple themes). The most common themes were enjoying nature, moments of relaxation, and social connection.The comments reveal a remarkable consistency in what people cherish. The figure above highlights the ten most frequently mentioned themes. In summary, the most pleasant experiences cluster around:* Nature and the Outdoors (137 mentions): Feeling connected to nature – sunshine, fresh air, water, trees – was the single most common source of joy. Many described serene moments outside, like “feet in sand, sun on face” or “walking on sand by the sea with a warm breeze”. One respondent said their happiest feeling is “sitting in nature, listening to the trees and plants.” Even wild animal encounters made appearances – “having an encounter with a wild animal where it looks you in the eye” – suggesting a sense of awe and unity with the natural world. Nature often provided a tranquil, almost spiritual pleasure for people.* Physical Relaxation and Comfort (84 mentions): A close second was the joy of being relaxed and cozy. Countless answers celebrated “waking up cozy in bed, warm and knowing you have more time to sleep,” which in fact was the #1 most “liked” comment (149 likes from readers). Naps, restful sleep, or just “no tense muscle, no nagging worry” (as one person described inner peace) were frequently cited. Related to this were sensory comforts like “a hot tub or hot spring” or “a hot shower on a cold day.” People clearly treasure those warm, safe moments of pure relaxation, free from stress.* Social Connection (59 mentions) and Love: The warmth of human connection is a major theme. Many described moments of bonding with loved ones: “a really, really good conversation”, “laughing with close friends”, or simply “being next to someone you love without needing words.” Quality time with family surfaced often – for example, “the golden hour after giving birth to my firstborn” was an especially rich moment one mother shared. Another wrote: “a good hug from someone who truly cares about you.” The depth of fulfillment from love and togetherness – whether through family, friendship, or community – shines through these responses. (Notably, even singing in unison at a concert, mentioned by one person, combined music with a powerful sense of togetherness.)* Pets and Animal Companions (32 mentions): A special subset of connection is the joy given by pets. Pet owners waxed poetic about cuddling their animals. “When your dog curls up next to you,” one user wrote, “nothing beats that feeling.” Another popular response (48 likes) was “having a pet fall asleep on you.” The comfort of a purring cat or snoozing dog on your lap clearly resonates as one of life’s sweetest, most heartwarming pleasures. Pets provide unconditional love and a calming presence that many ranked among their happiest experiences.* Food and Drink (56 mentions): The sensory pleasure of taste came up a lot – truly one of the simplest hedonistic joys. People rhapsodised about “fresh bread with butter and honey, eating it unhurried,” or “a great croissant” or “eating caramelized onions”. One of the top liked comments praised “the enjoyment of good food”. Comforting drinks made the list too (several people mentioned a perfect cup of coffee or tea). These responses celebrate savoring flavor – the everyday bliss of a delicious bite or sip fully enjoyed.* Music and Creative Expression (46 mentions): Many find their bliss in music, art, and movement. Simply “music” itself was a common one-word answer. Some described the euphoria of “dancing – emotion rising while dancing… laughing while dancing,” or the thrill of singing. One vivid response described the peak moment at a concert “when you stop singing and just listen to the humans around you singing the song you usually sing alone.” That communal musical joy gave the commenter goosebumps. Others mentioned the deep absorption and joy in creative hobbies (writing, painting, gardening) – losing themselves in the flow of creation.* Spiritual and Meaningful Moments (27 mentions): A portion of respondents identified transcendent experiences or personal growth as their greatest joys. These tended to be more eudaimonic (meaning-oriented) than purely sensory. Examples included “spiritual enlightenment, of course!” and “that point in meditation where you let go… so hard to get there, but so lovely when you do.” Some referenced religious or awe-filled moments like “being inside a sunrise” or “seeing the Northern Lights.” The profound fulfillment of meaning – feeling connected to something larger or experiencing a life milestone – appeared in answers like “giving birth” or “loving communion with your inner self.” These highlight the meaningful, purposeful side of happiness, beyond immediate pleasure.* Laughter and Humour (24 mentions): Quite a few people wrote about the joy of genuine laughter. Whether it’s “listening to little kids giggle” or a fit of laughter with friends until your sides hurt, humour is a potent pleasant experience. Some answers were themselves jokes – for instance, one commenter quipped the greatest pleasure is “finally peeing after you’ve had to hold it for a really long time 🤣.” (Another replied, “I remember that feeling!”) This tongue-in-cheek “bathroom joy” – sometimes dubbed “poophoria” – actually received a lot of nods, showing that even silly bodily relief can rank as bliss when it’s that relieving! These humorous entries remind us that amusement and not taking life too seriously are key parts of joy.* Physical Activity and Adventure (18 mentions): A smaller but notable set of responses described active joys – often intertwined with nature. People mentioned “hiking in nature,” “running in 85°F sunshine and then drinking a cold IPA,” “snorkeling,” or “jumping into a cenote on a hot day.” The exhilaration of movement and exploration – the runner’s high, the thrill of adventure – appeared as some folks’ happiest moments. These tend to be more energising pleasures, highlighting the joy of using one’s body and senses fully.* Reading and Mental Absorption: A handful of entries celebrated quiet intellectual joys like “getting lost in a good book for hours” or “the moment you realize hours have passed while painting”. While not as common as other themes, these underscore that pleasant experiences can also be solitary and mentally engaging, producing a calm contentment.It’s striking that material things or luxury experiences were almost never mentioned. Instead, people overwhelmingly pointed to everyday joys and relationships over any expensive or rare pleasures. The data suggests that human beings find the greatest happiness in simple, accessible moments – often free and universal. Being in nature, feeling safe and relaxed, sharing love and laughter, enjoying good food or music – these form a commonsense blueprint for joy.Most Liked Individual ResponsesWhile every reply was heartfelt, some struck a chord with hundreds of readers. Here are a few of the most “upvoted” responses and what they reveal:Top 10 individual responses by number of likes. These were the answers that many other readers gave a “♥️” to, indicating broad resonance. They range from cozy morning feelings to profound life moments.* “Waking up cozy in bed, warm and knowing you have more time to sleep.” – This image of snug morning contentment was the top-rated answer (149 likes). It perfectly captures a calm, safe happiness that almost anyone can relate to. The popularity of this response highlights how ordinary moments can be extraordinarily joyful when we truly appreciate them.* “Feeling the weight of your baby sleeping on you.” – (131 likes) Many parents agreed nothing compares to the warmth of a sleeping child on your chest. It’s a moment overflowing with love, peace, and meaning. This response taps into eudaimonic happiness – the fulfillment of love and nurturing – not just personal pleasure. As one mother added, “I’d have to say this is probably the one… that baby smell!”* “Laying on the earth on a blanket in the sun.” – (63 likes) A beautifully simple nature pleasure. Eyes closed, sun on your skin, ground beneath you – it’s about as grounding and serene as it gets. People resonate with how present and content they feel in that scenario. One reply affirmed “This ~ Sunshine and Earth.” ☀️ (In fact, “feet in the grass, sun on face” type replies came up again and again.)* “A concert… when you stop singing and just listen to the humans around you, singing the song you usually sing alone.” – (56 likes) This vivid description points to the goosebump-inducing joy of communal experiences. The commenter highlights a moment of connection – realizing “I’m not alone” in loving this song – that turns a fun event into a deeply moving one. It’s both musical euphoria and social bonding rolled into one. 🎶* “Having a pet fall asleep on you.” – (48 likes) As noted earlier, pet cuddles are pure bliss for many. The weight of a snoozing cat or dog signals trust and love. It’s telling that both babies and pets sleeping on you appear at the top – in both cases, a warm living being curled up on you creates a profound sense of comfort and belonging.* “Having a clear mind with no stress or guilt.” – (48 likes) This entry speaks to mental peace – that rare and precious state where your mind is quiet and unburdened. No anxious thoughts, no regrets, just clarity. Many readers liked this because in our busy lives, inner calm can feel like a gift. It’s a reminder that sometimes the absence of distress is itself a great joy . (In positive psychology terms, this aligns with contentment – a low-arousal positive emotion of tranquility.)* “Cozy while it’s raining outside.” – (44 likes) Building on the cozy theme, several people added the twist of rain outside. There’s something extra pleasant about being warm and dry under a blanket while hearing rain patter on the roof. That contrast – wild weather out there, comfort in here – amplifies the cozy feeling. It’s a great example of people savoring a moment by mindfully appreciating the context (more on savoring later).* “Being in nature and having an encounter with a wild animal (nothing dangerous) where it looks you right in the eye before it runs off.” – (34 likes) This response captures pure awe and wonder in nature. Several readers shared stories of brief encounters – locking eyes with a fox, a deer, a bird – that felt almost magical. Such moments are thrilling yet peaceful, and clearly left lasting happiness. They represent the awe end of the spectrum of positive feelings (distinct from calm or amusement), wherein one feels connected to something larger and more mysterious.* “Fresh bread with butter and honey and eating it unhurried.” – (33 likes) Here we see savoring a simple pleasure. The commenter explicitly notes eating it “unhurried” – taking their time to really enjoy the taste. This everyday indulgence, done mindfully, outranked many flashier joys. It exemplifies how attitude and presence can turn an ordinary roll with butter into a moment of bliss.* “Finally peeing after you’ve had to hold it for a really long time.” 🤣 – (26 likes) It may be a little cheeky, but many found truth in this humorous pick. It highlights the intense relief and happiness that comes from ending discomfort. Psychologically, it’s interesting: we don’t notice normal comfort until we’re deprived of it – then the instant that need is met, euphoria! This is a playful nod to how our baseline of happiness works (the “hedonic treadmill” concept, coming up soon). Plus, it made people laugh – and shared laughter is itself a joy.These top-liked responses span a range: physical comfort, nature, social connection, love, humor, and sensory delight are all represented. It’s clear that small everyday joys (a morning in bed, a pet’s love, a slice of bread) can be just as compelling as peak life moments (a firstborn child, communal singing, a spiritual encounter) when it comes to happiness. In fact, the most universally loved answers were the most universally accessible. This suggests that what makes us deeply happy is often within reach in daily life, rather than some rare, once-in-a-lifetime event.Calm, Connection, or Awe? The Emotional Tone of JoyAnother way to view these responses is by the type of positive emotion they embody. Positive psychologists often distinguish between different flavours of happiness – for example, the quiet calm of contentment, the warm glow of connection/love, or the energizing awe/excitement of something inspiring. We analysed each response for its dominant emotional “tone.”Share of responses falling into three “sentiment clusters”: calm/peaceful experiences, experiences of love/connection, and experiences of awe/excitement. (Many experiences overlap categories; here we classify the primary tone expressed in each comment.)The vast majority of pleasant experiences people described had a calm, contented vibe (≈58%). These include relaxing in nature, feeling cozy and safe, quiet morning moments, and gentle sensory pleasures. About 38% were primarily about connection or love – the joy from others (or pets), from giving and receiving affection, bonding, and shared happiness. A much smaller portion (roughly 4%) were high-awe or excitement experiences – thrilling or breathtaking moments that spark amazement or exhilaration.Why might calm contentment be so dominant? One reason is that many top joys are low-key everyday moments – not grand adventures, but rather freedom from worry, being at peace, feeling present. Modern life is stressful, so experiences that provide deep relaxation or mindfulness are especially cherished. As one comment put it, “Peace. All-encompassing peace of body, mind, and soul… It’s very rare to feel that genuinely and fully.” Achieving that serene state can be a pinnacle of happiness.The strong showing of connection-oriented joy reaffirms that humans are social creatures. Love – whether familial, romantic, platonic, or pet love – gives life meaning. Even responses we coded as “connection” often had a calm aspect too (cuddling quietly, etc.), showing how these categories blend. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson actually considers love a complex positive emotion that encompasses many others (joy, gratitude, serenity, etc., experienced in relationship) . It broadens our minds and builds our resources, as her Broaden-and-Build Theory explains, by combining urges to play, explore, and savor with a sense of social safety .The relatively few awe/excitement answers suggests that while thrilling moments (like spotting a shooting star or dancing wildly) are memorable, people’s most pleasant moments skew more towards safety and satisfaction than adrenaline. Awe is profound but not as commonly cited as contentment or love. This doesn’t mean people don’t value excitement – but perhaps those experiences, while pleasurable, are less universally comforting or easy to attain compared to a cozy bed or a loved one’s hug.In summary, the emotional tone of most beloved experiences is overwhelmingly positive but gentle: an easygoing happiness rather than wild euphoria. Moments of calm, connection, and minor awe seem to define the core of human joy in these responses.Insights Through a Positive Psychology LensBeyond the themes and feelings lies a deeper question: what do these answers reveal about happiness and well-being? Several classic concepts from positive psychology can shed light on why these experiences matter so much:* Hedonic vs. Eudaimonic Happiness: Psychologists distinguish hedonic happiness (pleasure and enjoyment) from eudaimonic happiness (meaning and self-realization). Both appear in these responses. Many of the top themes (good food, relaxation, music, etc.) lean hedonic – they’re about maximizing pleasure and minimizing discomfort in the moment, experiencing positive feelings and sensory gratification . However, plenty of responses – like caring for a child, personal spiritual moments, achieving something difficult (e.g. running a marathon then enjoying a beer) – lean eudaimonic, emphasizing fulfillment, purpose, and connection to one’s values. As one example, the joy of giving birth or being pregnant isn’t exactly a sensual pleasure – it’s profound and meaningful, aligned with “virtue-oriented living” and long-term flourishing rather than short-term fun . What we see is that people’s “most pleasant experiences” span both sides of the hedonic–eudaimonic spectrum. The balance of simple pleasures and meaningful moments is key. Research suggests that blending hedonia and eudaimonia leads to the most satisfying life – and indeed, respondents celebrated both the comfort of a cozy nap and the meaning of loving connections.* The Hedonic Treadmill (Adaptation): The concept of the hedonic treadmill is that we tend to adapt to positive (and negative) changes, returning to a happiness “set point” over time . A new pleasure gives a burst of joy, but soon it becomes the new normal and we seek the next thing. Many of the comments implicitly recognize this tendency – which is why the most pleasant experiences were often about appreciating the here and now rather than chasing a new high. For example, being able to enjoy a morning in bed or a sunset every day, without it getting old, is a victory against hedonic adaptation. Some answers even hack the treadmill: the person who joked about “finally peeing after holding it” highlights how renewing deprivation (even unintentionally!) can make an ordinary relief feel euphoric. Another person wrote about “reveling in the extra room after moving to a new house” – but as the treadmill idea predicts, “people often adjust their expectations to the new status quo and find themselves desiring even more” . The lesson is that without conscious effort, pleasures can fade into the background. This is where the next concept comes in.* Savouring the Moment: Savouring is the antidote to adaptation. It means fully attending to, appreciating, and enhancing positive experiences in the moment . Many of the respondents were essentially practicing savouring. When someone describes “eating it unhurried” or “intentionally placing our attention on positive events and prolonging the feelings”, they are using strategies that research shows boost happiness . The prevalence of nature, relaxation, and food experiences – all conducive to mindfulness – suggests people derive great joy from mindful presence. By savouring, they prolong and intensify the happiness such moments bring . For instance, one commenter’s most pleasant experience was literally “sitting and savouring a quiet cup of coffee on a perfect morning.” This conscious enjoyment fights off the hedonic treadmill by preventing the mind from rushing to the next thing. Gratitude was another implicit theme (many experiences involve feeling grateful for warmth, love, beauty around us). In positive psychology, savouring and gratitude exercises are known to increase positive affect and life satisfaction, precisely because they help us fully absorb the goodness in everyday life . The widespread, rich descriptions in the comments show that people want to linger on these joys – and doing so is part of what makes them so pleasant.* Positive Emotions Build Resilience: The emotions expressed – contentment, love, awe, amusement – are not just fleeting feelings; they also have functions. Fredrickson’s Broaden-and-Build Theory notes that emotions like joy, interest, contentment, and love broaden our minds and build lasting personal resources . For example, joy sparks the urge to play, contentment sparks the urge to savour and integrate, and love sparks recurring cycles of these urges in safe relationships . We can see this in the responses: joyful playfulness in humour, contented savouring in the cozy moments, love in the connection moments. Over time, regularly experiencing these kinds of positive emotions can build resilience, social bonds, and health . In other words, the things that feel good are also good for us. The respondents might not have been thinking in those terms, but by seeking out a hike in nature or a night of laughter with friends, they are likely increasing their capacity to handle stress and enriching their mental resources. It’s a beautiful synergy that positive psychology emphasizes: positive affect doesn’t just make us feel great now, it also broadens our outlook and builds a buffer for future challenges .In light of these frameworks, the crowd-sourced experiences confirm some scientific truths: happiness often lies in simple pleasures and meaningful connections, not in extravagant pursuits. People who focus on present moments (savoring that coffee or cuddle) and nurture their relationships are tapping both hedonic enjoyment and eudaemonic fulfilment. They may also adapt less to their blessings, because they actively appreciate them.Conclusion: What These Joys Tell Us About Well-Being TodayReading through these hundreds of comments feels like peeking into a collective “atlas of joy.” The patterns we saw – love of nature, desire for peace, importance of loved ones, delight in simple sensory pleasures – paint a picture of what truly nourishes the human spirit in 2025. Notably, technology, social media, and material luxuries were almost entirely absent from people’s answers. Instead, the ingredients for happiness were overwhelmingly timeless and universal: sunshine, fresh air, rest, loving and being loved, good food, laughter, creativity, and feeling part of something larger (whether community or nature or spirituality).For a largely Western, educated Substack readership, one might expect mentions of career achievements or travel or entertainment – but those were rare compared to intimate, personal moments of contentment. This aligns with research that suggests experiences bring more happiness than possessions, and that connection and engagement trump circumstances when it comes to well-being. It also reflects a possible cultural shift: even in a fast-paced digital age, people crave the slow, real moments. The pandemic years likely reinforced this, as many rediscovered simple home-bound joys (baking bread, anyone?) and the value of a hug.In essence, the crowd’s wisdom highlights a kind of “back to basics” happiness. The most pleasant experience a human can have might not be a grand adventure or a peak event at all – it might be as simple as a quiet morning, a warm bed, and the knowledge that you are safe, loved, and alive to enjoy it. As one commenter beautifully summarised, “No day comes twice. Each moment savoured is more precious than a span of jade.”By embracing those easily overlooked moments and nurturing our relationships, we stack our days with accessible sources of joy. The data here encourages us to do exactly that – to pay attention to the small sparks of delight in daily life and to prioritise time with nature and loved ones. After all, when hundreds of people all point to the same kinds of experiences as the happiest a human can have, that’s a sign: true well-being is less about having and more about being – being present, being connected, being grateful, and being true to oneself. These are the pleasant threads that, woven together, form a deeply happy life.Thank you for reading, and a huge thank you to everyone who shared your responses to the question, it brought me a lot of joy to read what you all said.If you’d like a Part Two of the podcast, where I explore more responses and maybe go even deeper into the psychology in another episode, let me know in the comments.And of course, please add your voice in the comments:What’s your most pleasurable, non-sexual, non-drug human experience?Share your most pleasurable, non-sexual, non-drug experience. Let’s keep the conversation going! The moment that makes you exhale. The thing you’d bottle if you could.And if you want to gift a little joy to someone else today, maybe someone who needs reminding that happiness isn’t always loud or far away share this episode with them.Joy is more contagious than we think. Let’s keep passing it on. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit iamrosiepeacock.substack.com
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