Why Do I…?

We're told staying is loyalty. So we hold on, hoping things will improve.
Tell ourselves "it's not that bad." But after my full conversation with Dr. Amir Levine, I've been reflecting on something deeper…
Insecure relationships age you nine months per person, on a cellular level. That's not theory. That's your body keeping score.
Maybe discomfort isn't the cost of commitment. Maybe it's a warning.
Maybe asking for what you need isn't weakness. Maybe it's the only thing that saves you.
If leaving scares you… ask whose voice is telling you to stay.
Connect With Us 👇
Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en
Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en

Grab Amir's new book Secure here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secure-Attachment-Transform-Relationships-bestselling/dp/1529976162

Take the attachment quiz at AmirLevineMD.com

💎 Part of the I.A.M Podcasts roster

#WhyDoI #AttachmentTheory #AmirLevine

Dr. Amir Levine is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and bestselling author of Attached - the book that became the internet's go-to guide for understanding relationships. His new book Secure picks up where it left off.
We're told some of us are just "clingy."
Some of us are just "distant."
That's who we are.
So we blame ourselves and keep repeating the same patterns. If a missed text can ruin your day… If you pull away the second someone gets close… If you keep ending up in the same kind of relationship…This episode is for you.
EPISODE CHAPTERS:
00:00 – How Insecure Relationships Age You
06:17 – The Anxious-Avoidant Trap
12:32 – Why Avoidants Get a Bad Rep
21:27 – Where Attachment Styles Really Come From
28:51 – The CARP Method for Dating
34:14 – Wall Tennis With Love
43:10 – Gut Instinct vs. Anxious Spiral
52:57 – One Piece of Advice for Each Attachment Style

Connect With Us 👇
Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en
Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en
Liv: https://www.instagram.com/livnevill/?hl=en-gb

Grab Amir's new book Secure here

Take the attachment quiz at AmirLevineMD.com

💎 Part of the I.A.M Podcasts roster

#WhyDoI #AttachmentTheory #AmirLevine

We’re told getting older means losing value.
So we chase youth like it can save us.
Tell ourselves we’re “still young.”
But after my full conversation with Poorna Bell, I’ve been reflecting on something deeper…
Aging isn’t the problem.
The story we’ve been sold about aging is.
Because some people hit 40, 50, 60…
and become more themselves than ever.
More certain. More grounded.
Less interested in performing for everyone else.
Fear says your best years are behind you.
But often your best years begin when you stop trying to prove anything.

Maybe wrinkles aren’t decline. Maybe they’re evidence.

Maybe slowing down isn’t failure. Maybe it’s wisdom replacing urgency.

And maybe the people most afraid of aging,
are the ones who never learned how to live now.
If getting older scares you…
ask whose voice that really is.
Because it might not be yours.

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en

💎 This Show Is Part Of The I.A.M Podcasts roster

We're told that aging is something to dread.
That it means slowing down. Becoming invisible. Losing your edge.
So instead… we obsess over looking younger. We buy the creams. We scroll past women our age doing incredible things.
In this episode of Why Do I, I'm joined by Poorna Bell - journalist, author, competitive weightlifter, and martial artist - whose new book She Wanted More charts what aging really looks like for women in their 40s, 50s and 60s.
If you've ever felt invisible in a room full of younger people…
If you've ever thought "I'm too old to start that"…
If you've ever tied your worth to how you look rather than what you can do…

This episode is for you.
EPISODE CHAPTERS:
00:00 – Why Are We So Scared of Aging?
08:44 – How Your Reasons for Training Should Change
18:31 – How Poorna Became a Competitive Weightlifter
28:56 – Why the Algorithm Is Keeping You Stuck
36:26 – Who Decided What Relationships Should Look Like?
46:31 – What Hundreds of Women Had in Common
57:04 – The Freedom of Being One Person Always

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇
Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoioffic...
Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?...

Also check out Poorna's book: She Wanted More - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1785122835?...
💎 This show is part of the I.A.M Podcasts roster
#WhyDoI #Aging #PoornaBell #SheWantedMore

We’re told needing people is weak.
So we handle everything on our own.
Tell ourselves we’re “fine”.
But I’ve realised something recently…
Connection isn’t the reward for having your life together.
It’s the thing that helps you get there.
Loneliness isn’t always obvious either.
Sometimes it’s a full life… with something missing underneath.
And maybe “I’m fine on my own” isn’t always true.
Maybe it just means “I don’t want to be let down.”
If something keeps telling you to show up somewhere…
just go once.
You don’t need to say anything.
Just be there.
That might be enough.

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇
Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster