Listen Very Carefully

Amid panto reminiscences from our pod trio (tripod), we discover that Fanny's pet name for her lover van Gogh was Bobby. While Guy and Richard get all knowing about the McGuffin device in detective stories, Kim insists it is a burger chain meal deal. They discuss the lengths that some performers will go to in order to secure a close-up, including gaining access to the camera scripts (some of them dummies created by the production team to throw them off the scent). Meanwhile, Kim, Guy and Richard protest too much at the suggestion they would ever chase a close-up.

British airmen dressed as ladies of the night; Maria and Yvette disguised as ancient crones; a melodramatic fake murder scenario during a flamenco performance by Edith in the café; a plan to smuggle the airmen into the prison camp via a tunnel from the mortuary; a priceless van Gogh that has been hanging unnoticed in the café and turns out to have been a gift from the painter to Fanny during a passionate affair. Busines as usual in Café René. Back in Kim's kitchen, our hosts question the story that Carmen grew up on a banana plantation in Canada.

More nuggets from Kim’s kitchen, as the trio mull over the events of the double-length Christmas Special – involving attempts from all sides to bump off General von Klinkerhoffen. Sam Kelly receives a well-deserved round of applause from the studio audience for his virtuoso speech about “the pill in the till, the drug in the jug and the Gateau from the Chateau”. There is talk of a crashing air balloon, screwing down a billiard table, and Gorden’s graceful handling of props. A mischievous prank by Kim and Richard at the George Hotel backfires badly on them.

Now that René has recovered the painting, Michelle plans to catapult the airman away in a glider, using elastic from men's braces. But collecting them in the dead of night presents yet another problem for the long-suffering café owner. A runaway steamroller flattens Herr Flick's staff car, which is only insured third-party. As the village clock chimes eight outside Kim' cottage, it's time for our hosts to crack open the gin.