The Underhive Lorekeepers Podcast

Hey Scummers!

This week Spamuel and Nathan are diving into the Dramatis Personae of House Goliath, exploring some of the most infamous names ever to emerge from the gene-forges and fighting pits of the Underhive.

First up is Ajex Gorgoth, the living embodiment of everything House Goliath aspires to be. Towering, terrifying, and built like a cargo hauler wrapped in slabs of muscle. Ajex carved his way through rivals and monsters alike to become one of the most feared champions in Necromunda. If your solution to every problem is overwhelming violence applied at maximum force, Ajex is your role model.

Next, we turn our attention to Djangar Gunfist. A man whose name tells you almost everything you need to know. Somewhere along the line Djangar looked at his hand and decided it would be significantly more useful if it were always holdinga firearm. Whether this represents tactical genius or severe emotional issues remains a matter of debate. Naturally, this leads to an extended discussion about the practical applications of gun-fisting and his abilities to lead House Goliath as Over Tyrant.

Then we descend into the depths of the sump to meet Old Three-Eyes, a colossal sumpkroc whose appetite for gangers has elevated her from dangerous predator to full-blown Underhive legend. Bigger than a cargo hauler and considerably less friendly, Old Three-Eyes lurks beneath the polluted waters waiting for anyone foolish enough to get too close.

As expected, the conversation immediately derails. What begins as a discussion about gene-smithing somehow turns into Spamuel theorising about cloning monsters. Not sensible monsters. Not useful monsters. Horrifying vat-grown abominations with too many muscles, too many teeth, and somehow... too many butts.

This naturally raises the question of how such creatures would reproduce, sending Spamuel on an extended tangent about crocodile reproduction while Nathan desperately attempts to drag the conversation back toward Necromunda. The effort is unsuccessful.

Finally, we take a look at Tess "Arc-Up", one of House Goliath's most notorious champions. Armed with enough electrical firepower to illuminate a small settlement, Tess demonstrates why mixing enormous muscles with industrial-grade voltage is generally considered a bad idea for everyone nearby.

Along the way we ask the truly important questions. Would a Goliath battle plan improve if it simply began with someone shouting "LEEROY JENKINS!"? Can gun-fisting be considered a legitimate martial art? And how does a man with no nose smell?

Terrible.

So grab your stimms, stay out of suspicious bodies of water, avoid any cloned crocodiles with an alarming number of backsides, and remember, if Old Three-Eyes is chasing you, you don't need to be the fastest runner.

You just need Nathan to be slower.

Enjoy the episode, Scummers!

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey Scummers!
In this episode, the lads dive head-first into the grim, explosive and questionably ethical world of Imperial Penal Legions. Because apparently the Imperium looked at prisons and thought: “What if we added minefields and Frenzon?”

From bomb collars and human wave assaults to drugged-up berserkers and “redemption through death,” Spamuel and Nathan break down how the Imperium turns criminals, political dissidents, unlucky guardsmen and people who filled out the wrong paperwork into disposable battlefield assets.

Journey with us into discussion on Italian Arbites that somehow make Imperial law even more threatening, to the utterly horrific practice of strapping explosives to prisoners and calling it ‘military doctrine,’ the Penal Legions are one of the Imperium’s favourite tools. Whether they’re being hurled into enemy gunfire as a wall of screaming human meat, or sent on missions so dangerous even Space Marines go ‘nah,’ these poor bastards exist somewhere between surgical strike force and disposable corpse delivery system.

So make sure you behave, brush up on your prayers and if you’re lucky, you’ll end up in the PDF and not on holiday on a prison planet.

You’re in The Guard.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey scummers!

In this episode, the lads take a trip way, way above the sump and into the polished nightmare of the Spire, where the rich don’t just look down on you, they come down to hunt you for sport.

We’re talking Spyre Hunting Parties. Aristocratic heirs wrapped in ancient, near-mythical suits that turn bored nobles into walking war crimes. From the lightning fast Yelds to the walking tanks that are the Orrus rigs, we break down what makes these silver-spoon psychos tick, why they head into the Underhive in the first place, and what happens when privilege meets a shotgun at close range.

Naturally, things get a bit unhinged.

Spamuel develops a deeply misguided obsession with the Eldar this episode, confidently declaring that Spyrers are basically just the human version of Aspect Warriors. He then doubles down by trying to match each Spyre rig to an Aspect Shrine equivalent, much to Nathan’s visible frustration and increasingly aggressive sighing.

Meanwhile, Nathan tries (and fails) to steer the episode back on track.

And yes, we address the most important questions in in Necromunda lore:
Do Malcadon Spyrers spend their downtime doing impressions of Tobey Maguire?
Will the Flappy Lads ever get their milk in a regular way?
Are Patriarchs just old fellas who think these youngins are just too damn lazy?

You’ll have to listen to find out, but let’s just say, there may or may not be a whispered “I missed the part where that’s my problem” echoing through the underhive vents before someone gets webbed to a wall.

Expect lore, laughs, and a healthy fear of anything descending from above in a glowing murder-suit.

Stay safe downhive, scummers.

But if you hear something moving in the dark?
It’s already too late.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey scummers!

Pull up a stool, mind the sump spill under your boots, and keep one eye on your drink, because the lads are diving back into the weird and wild corners of the 41st millennium and more minor xenos.

Much to Nathan’s visible, audible, and spiritual dismay.

We’re talking about the slippery, shadow-haunting menace of the Laxotl.

These amphibious horrors that would thrive in the damp, forgotten arteries of the underhive. These things aren’t just content to lurk in the dark; they own it. With slick, scaled bodies built for squeezing through pipes and flooded tunnels, the Laxotl move like living oil spills, striking from places no sane ganger would ever think to check. These xenos mercenaries aren’t just beasts either, there’s a cruel, alien cunning behind those cold eyes, coordinating ambushes and dragging unlucky souls into the depths without a sound. If you hear something slithering in the walls? Too late. It’s already mapped your escape routes.

And then there’s the ever-delightful Ur-Ghul.

Everyone’s favourite eyeless nightmare, and a staple of bad decisions across Commorragh and beyond. These pale, sinewy predators don’t need sight when they’ve got senses sharp enough to track a heartbeat through ferrocrete. Lightning fast and disturbingly quiet, an Ur-Ghul is all claws and teeth, reducing its prey to scraps before the brain even catches up to what’s happening. Often kept as “pets” by those with more cruelty than sense, they’re about as loyal as a hive scummer with a full ammo cache. The moment control slips, they go right back to what they do best: hunting anything warm, moving, and unfortunate enough to be nearby.

Expect the usual: half-remembered lore, an insurance selling gecko with more one liners than sense, and at least one moment where someone (it’s Nathan) asks if we can please, please just talk about literally anything else.
We won’t.
So lock your hab doors, check your corners, and join us as we once again prove that in the underhive and the galaxy beyond, there’s always something worse lurking just out of sight.

Catch you in the sump, scummers.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Oi, travellers and treasure-hungry miscreants!

Stagger back through the splintered doors of The Lucky Comet, where the ale is watered, the patrons are suspicious, and the roof only leaks when it rains.

Which is always.

Mordheim welcomes you like a mugger in a dark alley. Warmly, and with a knife.

This time around, the lads continue our grand tour of the most cursed city in the Old World before plunging headfirst into the so-called “finest” human mercenary warbands of the original release. And by finest, we mean a stunning parade of personalities ranging from aggressively beige sellswords to fur-cloaked lunatics fighting like bears like it’s perfectly reasonable behaviour.

We’ve got rich brats playing at war, Middenheimers who think shirts are optional but wolf pelts are mandatory, and the Reiklanders are staring at us again.

From muddy boots to silk slippers, from battered helms to VERY sensible trousers (we cannot stress this enough), this episode is your unofficial guide to looking your best while being horribly, irrevocably murdered in the ruins.

So grab a drink, check your coin purse hasn’t gone missing, and settle in.We hope you enjoy part 2 of our journey into the city of Mordheim.

Assuming something in the shadows doesn’t get you first.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Old World Lorekeepers music theme is Folk Around by Kevin Macleod.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/kevin-macleod/folk-roundLicense code: IZVBYKAZBENG35ZT