What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

If you've ever looked at your very different children and wondered how they could possibly share the same DNA, same parents, and same upbringing, you're not alone— and you're imagining things.

Research shows that while siblings are usually more alike in appearance and intelligence than we sometimes think, their personalities are as different from one another as they would be from a stranger on the street.

Why is that? This week, we discuss:

Why siblings can have vastly different personalities despite common upbringings

How birth order influences family dynamics

Why "de-identification" tends to be more intense when siblings are closer in age

Why "the same household" doesn't actually tell the whole story

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Alix Spiegel for NPR: Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities

Dr. Robert Plomin and Dr. Judy Dunn: Why Are Siblings So Different? The Significance of Differences in Sibling Experiences Within the Family

Dr. Frank Sullaway: Why Siblings Are Like Darwin's Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family

Daniel Goleman for the NYT: Each Sibling Experiences a Different Family

Dr. Robert Plomin and Dr Denise Daniels: Why are Children in the Same Family So Different From One Another?

Science Daily: Parents’ Comparisons Make Siblings Different

Dr. Alexander Jensen and Dr. Susan McHale: What makes siblings different? The development of sibling differences in academic achievement and interests.

Annie Wright, LMFT: Same Family, Different Survival: Why You and Your Sibling Turned Out So Differently

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
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This month, our "Deep Dive" is into some of our past episodes about screen time: the effects it has on our kids, how tech companies engineer their devices to be as addictive as possible, and how we can allow our kids to enjoy screens with supportive limits.

How do we untangle ourselves from technology? We give ourselves a hard time for not being able to put our screens down, but the platforms we use are designed to be addictive. It's not our fault.

⁠Gaia Bernstein⁠'s new book: ⁠Unwired: Gaining Control Over Addictive Technologies⁠ shatters the illusion that we can control how much time we spend on our screens by the force of willpower, timers, or yelling.

Margaret and Gaia discuss:

The psychological forces that make us keep scrolling

What Big Tech and Big Tobacco have in common

Why screen time limiters and other similar methods don't work

Here's where you can find Gaia:

⁠https://gaiabernstein.com/⁠

Twitter: @BernsteinGaia

Buy Gaia's book Unwired: ⁠https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781009257930⁠

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the fact that we sometimes we "lose it" as parents doesn't make us bad parents? What if those times stem from an overwhelmed nervous system, and what happens when we get curious about what's underneath?

Marriage and family therapist Dr. Cassidy Freitas, host of the "Holding Space" podcast and author of the new book MOM NEEDS A MOMENT, explains why parents "lose it," what our emotional reactions are really telling us, and how we can interrupt generational patterns without striving for perfection.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How childhood experiences shape your parenting triggers today.

The difference between guilt and shame.

Why repair after conflict is often more powerful than trying to be a perfect parent.

How social media and intensive parenting culture fuel parental burnout and self-criticism.

What "creating margin" means—and why a few moments of space can transform your relationship with your children.

How to recognize your triggers before reacting.

The simple phrase Dr. Freitas uses to calm her nervous system in difficult parenting moments.

Here's where you can find Dr. Freitas:

www.drcassidymft.com

@drcassidy on IG

Buy MOM NEEDS A MOMENT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523533534

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What are the best ways for us to support our kids' interests? Should we help them become the best gymnasts and singers they can be, as soon as they show glimmers of true interest? Or are they better off exploring many interests, without all of that added pressure?

From travel sports to elite ballet training and specialized extracurriculars, childhood activities feel increasingly professionalized, with a lot less room for beginners, dabblers, or kids who just want to have fun.

This week, we're wondering whether encouraging curiosity and exploration may be healthier than pushing early specialization.

We discuss:

The difference between supporting a child's interests and managing their career

Why exploration—not specialization—is often the key to discovering lifelong passions

How parents can praise effort and enjoyment instead of performance

Why your child's purpose may be much bigger than any single job or talent

How to encourage resilience when interests change or dreams evolve

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Lindsay Karp for Business Insider: My parents told me to have a career that could support me. I'm telling my kids to follow their passions.

Daniel B. Peters for HuffPost: Are We Missing the Mark If We Support Our Children's Passions?

Lisa Heffernan for the NYT: Our Push for ‘Passion,’ and Why It Harms Kids

Susan Newman for Psychology Today: How to Support and Nurture Your Child's Passions

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This month, our "Deep Dive" is into some of our past episodes about screen time: the effects it has on our kids, how tech companies engineer their devices to be as addictive as possible, and how we can allow our kids to enjoy screens with supportive limits.

The dreaded question "When should my kid get a phone?" is one we're asked often. These days "whether" is not part of the equation, and the ages at which our kids' peers are getting phones seems younger than ever.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, author of the new book ⁠First Phone: A Child's Guide To Digital Responsibility, Safety, and Etiquette⁠, is the founder of ⁠The Family Coach⁠ and a licensed clinical social worker who has been working with children and families for more than 25 years. First Phone– a book written not for parents, but for our kids– puts the risks and rewards of a phone in perspective for our children, and helps them consider what parameters they themselves might want to put on their phones and how they can use them wisely.

In this episode, Catherine, Amy and Margaret discuss:

What we often don't think about when we hand our kids their first phones [12:55]

When kids should get their own social media accounts [17:55]

How to teach kids about digital consent [31:00]

Here's where you can find Catherine:

⁠www.thefamilycoach.com⁠

@thefamilycoach on FB/Twitter

@thefamilycoachsays on IG

Find Catherine's book in our bookshop: ⁠https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593538333⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices