PodcastsComedyLuke and Pete Talking Sheet

Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

Luke and Pete
Luke and Pete Talking Sheet
Latest episode

193 episodes

  • Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

    Amputee Accused of Murder… How? | EP188 Luke & Pete

    14/04/2026 | 1h 35 mins.
    On this weeks episode the boys try to workout how a quadruple amputee has managed to shoot a passenger in his car then go on the run. They tell some inappropriate tour stories. And they have a dilemma from a woman who says” I intimidate men”. 
    The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone!
    👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind).
    Don’t miss it!

    To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list.

    If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail [email protected] or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜

    Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete
    Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify 

    0:00 intro 
    1:47 Inappropriate Tour stories 
    6:11 being able to fart in front  of people shows power 
    18:02 quadruple amputee accused of murder
    22:43 Luke and Pete come form very different backgrounds 
    26:17 “I’m scared cowardice will rub off on me” 
    29:40 Tour driving 
    31:41 going to jail as an amputee 
    34:14 being angry and having access to a gun 
    39:15 tracking a lost phone using iPhone 
    44:10 getting trampled at a concert 
    47:12 no prison under a year 
    47:38 guess who’s back?
    48:18 have we tracked the thief of the phone?
    50:56 black sex worker in Japan 
    58:21 does attention become meaningless?
    1:06:39 damaged women need validation and Pete 
    1:11:40 dilemma: men find me intimating 

    🎧 Podcast
    ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6
    ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683
    Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app.

    Find Peter Rethinasamy @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902

    Find Luke Craig @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig
  • Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

    My Debts are ruining my new relationship | EP187 Luke & Pete

    07/04/2026 | 1h 12 mins.
    On this weeks episode they boys have a surprise guest who just shows up half way though filming. Petes new son has arrived. Why Luke has never used dating apps and a dilemma where a woman has so much debt its ruing a new relationship she just started.
    The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone!
    👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind).
    Don’t miss it!

    To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list.

    If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail [email protected] or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜

    Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete

    0:00 charlotte has given birth 
    10:04 I don’t like the word daddy 
    14:50 Tour stories: Pete offended a woman at our live show 
    22:04 “Dealing with sibling rivalry now you have two”
    27:50 Do doctors have a conflict of interest?
    39:59 funny story about Face ID to unlock phone 
    45:16 “why I won’t use dating apps”
    47:52 “I don’t like the word evil”
    Dilemma: My Debts are ruining my new relationship 

    Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify 

    🎧 Podcast
    ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6
    ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683
    Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app.

    Find Peter Rethinasamy @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902

    Find Luke Craig @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig
  • Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

    Sex Before a Fight? Derek Chisora Tells the Truth | EP186 Luke & Pete

    31/03/2026 | 1h 21 mins.
    On this weeks episode the boys sit down with the heavy weight boxing legend Derek Chisora and have a chat about violence, ego and the things men don’t say out loud. Would you fight your friend for money? Does sex affect performance? And what do you regret not doing because of fear? A brutally honest look at the mindset behind stepping into a ring to fight another man. 

    The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone!
    👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind).
    Don’t miss it!

    To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list.

    If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail [email protected] or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜

    Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete

    0:00 boxing chat: how much do you pay sparing partners? Pete is considering it
    5:33 Could you fight a friend in the ring and hurt them for money?
    6:11 has your expenses gone up the more successful you’ve become? + black people focus on style to much 
    9:15 **sound quality improves**
    10:13 “black people haven’t done anything for our people in the last 50 years”
    £200 million in the bank what’s the first thing you’d do?
    15:51 having guidance is very important for success 
    17:11 “I don’t eat pum pum”
    21:12 do you abstain from sex during for a fight? + Pete’s missing ejaculation 
    24:21 difference between ladies and women 
    26:14 “I drive a smart car” 
    28:08 what do you do for fun?
    30:02 how does a man eat ass?
    33:50 how long have you been married?
    35:39 real men don’t exist anymore + Cheating
    38:38 Being around Anthony Joshua 
    42:00 fighting friends 
    42:41 who wins Joshua vs Fury?
    43:25 boxing is just business like tennis 
    44:40 is boxing a corrupt sport?
    46:27 what’s up with turki al sheikh holding boxers hands?
    50:26 can you be friendly with an opponent before you fight?
    53:37 “if it kicked off with me and you I would try and shoot you” 
    56:24 most important rule in boxing if you want to survive 
    55:54 “I’m loved by everybody” + what makes people hated 
    57:46 what ways are you peculiar around money?
    59:02 what job would you do if you weren’t boxing?
    1:00:45 most useful career advice?
    1:02:34 how do you sabotage your own possibilities of success? 
    1:04:02 you can never leave boxing
    1:05:19 would you fight Jake Paul?
    1:06:24 is there anything you regret not doing due to fear?
    1:10:14 what would your ideal p*rn be like?
    1:14:49 society is getting ruined by clickbait 
    1:17:16 Would you go to an ex’s funeral? 

    Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify 

    🎧 Podcast
    ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6
    ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683
    Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app.

    Find Peter Rethinasamy @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902

    Find Luke Craig @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig
  • Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

    The World’s Smallest Woman… And Her 6ft Husband | EP185 Luke & Pete

    24/03/2026 | 1h 33 mins.
    On this weeks episode the boys discuss the worlds smallest woman dating a normal sized man. They dig into the manoshpere doc and they answer a dilemma that exposes both of them intimately.

    The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone!
    👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind).
    Don’t miss it!

    To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list.

    If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail [email protected] or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜

    Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete

    0:00 live shows Vs TikTok live 
    5:07 who’s the woman in the relationship? 
    13:58 Manosphere documentary 
    32:43 worlds smallest woman dating full size man 
    46:38 half siblings 
    51:38 Jeff bezos married a woman with kids 
    53:47 Pete gets confused again!!
    59:06 funny sayings 
    1:02:37 Dilemma: Am I weird that I think about my boyfriend’s ex to climax?

    Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify 

    🎧 Podcast
    ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6
    ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683
    Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app.

    Find Peter Rethinasamy @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902

    Find Luke Craig @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig
  • Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

    He Lied to Get Her Into Bed… Should That Be Illegal? | 184 Luke & Pete

    17/03/2026 | 1h 15 mins.
    On this weeks episode the boys talk sex by deception. a man started a family with a woman and he already had a family should he go to prison for lying? Elton John had a pointless operation according to Luke. And has someone tracked down Charlotte? This and much more.

    The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone!
    👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind).
    Don’t miss it!

    To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list.

    If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail [email protected] or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜

    Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete

    0:00 the live show is near + why has Elton John done this?
    7:02 walking on eggshells at your job 
    10:45 why do people who’ve been hurt want to hurt others?
    14:58 is celebrity talent passed on to their kids? + kids personality is determined by…
    20:40 should lying in relationships be punishable by law? + good looking people don’t have personality?
    31:52 can you date normal people if you are really successful?
    34:59 Has Charlotte been found by a sheetster?
    38:13 has my son got a speech impediment? + family time vs working 
    46:48 bad jobs + bad experiences teach so much 
    53:32 weird socks 
    Dilemma: my stuck up cousin has joined only fans, should I let her know I know?
    1:02:15 is there a difference between gay and bi?

    Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify 

    🎧 Podcast
    ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6
    ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683
    Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app.

    Find Peter Rethinasamy @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902

    Find Luke Craig @:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

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About Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

Honest, outrageous, distasteful, obscene, coarse and vulgar and that’s just what their friends say... Luke Craig and Peter Rethinasamy are two Stand-up comedians and best friends who are sick and tired of the polished conversations they hear spewing out of the main stream media. The constant tip toeing around what these people think is driving them insane. Tune in for an honest chat on a range of subjects and Dilemmas sent in from their listeners. Beware they don’t hold back. With over 500,000 social media and Youtube subscribers in under 9 months be a part of something that may just turn out to be a game changer!
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