Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: The now-annual breakdown of the Premier League alphabetical distribution and how it makes us feel, who we should "fear for" in the Premier League in 2026/27, what tournaments England legends would have incongruously appeared at if they’d played until they were 40, workshopping a chant for Phil Collins’ son at 1860 Munich, Mohamed Salah's surprise move to Trabzonspor, Argos being sold for the same price as Morgan Rogers, a listener's accidental goal celebration in the shower, and the full story of Richard Keys's summer renaissance.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: European superclubs coming over here and stealing our groundsmen, Henry Winter on Falklands defence budgets, Gianni Infantino the "money-grabbing gargoyle", the inevitable moment for Wenger's Law, a Cliches deep cut buried in an obscure seven-a-side livestream, Sean Dyche’s surprisingly convoluted "top 3 pints", unacceptable penalty descriptions, Scotland gives us a new verb for a thrashing, John Stones’ comedy shoulder, the finer details of set-piece guru Austin MacPhee’s Chelsea move, the concept of an England football team at the Commonwealth Games, and a Welsh farmer with Alan Shearer’s voice.

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A concept impossible to over-romanticise, pinpointing the exact Premier League matchweek to represent its sweet spot, the gentle echoing of Martin Tyler across the potholes of a generic bar strip, charmingly error-strewn handwritten fixture lists, the Irish Bar option, the Moon Under Water of Turkish beach bars showing the Prem, spending £3.50 on a 48-hour-old copy of the Mirror in 2001, Faliraki 5-a-side with Leon Osman, one listener’s Eurocamp goalkeeping glory, a stag do in Luxembourg, and an 8/10 Premier League weekend lineup in an Only Fools and Horses-themed bar in Majorca.

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker bring you the latest episode of Dreamland, as they celebrate the immaculate scenario of watching football on holiday.

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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the coolest way to hold a football, football's ongoing misunderstanding of the "instep", a ubiquitous three-word punditry prefix and having to listen to people describing their Sunday League goals.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel welcome Rodri to the exclusive club of players who have "completed football".

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker, Nick Miller and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: a cultural review of the gruelling watch that was the World Cup final, the merits of Ferran Torres' winning goal, England's absurd third-place playoff glory, Jude Bellingham's niche statistical triumph, Cole Palmer gets on the wrong side of Graeme Souness, one listener's highly unnecessary concept of a secondary World Cup plate competition, Premier League referees spotted at weddings and, to wrap up the tournament summer, the Pure World Cup 2026 XI.

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Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
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