Football Cliches

It’s the final outing of the winter for Cricket Cliches, the first branch line of the Cliches network, and there’s an end of term feeling as the full team assembles to see us home. We’ve got egregious commentary and a hierarchy of acceptable ways to get out before we get all ASMR and dig into some of your favourite sounds from cricket. And, of course… of course, there’s another dip into the murky, and surprisingly expansive, world of shadow cricket. It’s very much not just batting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Shane Todd on post-save goalkeeper emotions & professional footballer-botherer Rio Ferdinand The pod welcomes comedian and presenter Shane Todd for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Shane's selections are 5-a-side games with fellow comedians, performatively angry post-save goalkeepers, Rio Ferdinand's uncategorisable current line of work, pre-internet transfer news and our collective curiosity with the day jobs of non-league FA Cup heroes. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a tiny slice of pure Pep Guardiola, and hear a charmingly naive football reference in ice hockey commentary. Shane Todd is off on tour in 2026 with his new show Hold Me Back. Tickets available at ShaneToddComedy.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a minor technicality with Cup-upset measuring, the size of the chunk of Antoine Semenyo's fee he had paid back, Scott McTominay's many nicknames, an unacceptable phrase for a team bottom of the table, a four-way footballing dilemma you have absolutely never considered before and Arsenal flops' names in Bruce Springsteen duets, Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Manchester United's legacy machine cranks into gear again, some confusion over the pronunication of Chelsea's new manager, a familiar sound in a mid-90s wrestling arcade game, unlikely common ground between River Plate and Coronation Street's Ken Barlow, a teacher breaks some football news to his class of Year 8s and a relatively deep data dive into Richard Keys’ lesser-known catchphrase. Meanwhile, the panel decide the level of football at which they would simply be a hindrance to their team at right-back. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a whistle-stop tour of the media reaction to Chelsea and Manchester United's managerial upheaval, the Premier League finally unleashes its video archive, Eddie Howe queries the "onslaught" threshold, some quintessential West Hamming, some unprecedented co-commentary homework, hyperlocal derby technicalities, and Richard Keys kicking off his 2026 with an absolute bang. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices