3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

A few years ago, I did something in a moment of anger that I'm still a little embarrassed to talk about. It involved one of my kids, a Saturday chore list, and a TV that did not survive the afternoon.

You may never have broken anything, but I'd guess you know the feeling that comes next, that sick regret of realizing you just showed up as someone other than the mom you want to be. Maybe for you it looks like yelling, or shutting down, or disappearing into your phone when your kids need you. Whatever it looks like, those moments usually aren't random. They're often pointing straight at what matters most to you.

This bonus episode is the replay of my free class, How to Show Up More Like the Mom You Want to Be Every Day (Give or Take a Few!), where I teach Voice Your Values, the first principle in my Self-Assured Motherhood framework. Once you understand your values, your hardest parenting moments start to make sense, and that understanding makes it so much easier to forgive yourself, repair with your kids, and stay calmer next time.

In this episode, you'll learn:

💜 Why I broke a TV on a Saturday afternoon (and what it finally taught me about my triggers)

💜 A simple way to calm yourself in the moment when your kids push your buttons, so you can respond instead of react

💜 How to repair after you crash out in a way that helps your kids understand you, without excusing how you acted

Whether your kids are in diapers or driving, I hope this class helps you meet your hard moments, and yourself, with a lot more compassion.

⏳ Heads up: This replay is only available through Tuesday, September 22nd, and then we'll be taking it down.

✨ Enrollment for Self-Assured Motherhood (SAM) is open through Tuesday, September 22nd at midnight! This program will help you show up as the mom you want to be more often, in this season and every one after it. This is the final year I'll be teaching SAM in this format, and I would love to have you. Learn more and enroll at 3in30podcast.com/sam. Have questions? My team would love to help at hello@3in30podcast.com.

A few weeks ago, I wasn't sure I was going to open enrollment for my Self-Assured Motherhood Program this year. Of all the work I do, SAM is where I feel like I'm making the biggest difference, but I honestly didn't know if I had it in me.

My brother-in-law Logan died unexpectedly this summer, at 44 years old, and I spent most of the season at my sister's house doing dishes, walking the dog, and sitting with her in her sadness. I barely worked at all, which was exactly how it needed to be. But when my kids went back to school and I thought about gearing myself up for another enrollment period for SAM, everything in me said no. In the middle of that much loss, it was honestly hard to remember why any of my work even matters.

What changed my mind was a journaling session. As I wrote about my summer, I could see that the SAM principles had been holding me up in my deep grief, and I hadn't noticed it happening while it was happening.

That's what today's episode is about, because these principles aren't only useful in the seasons when you have the energy to become a little more intentional or a little more confident. The longer you practice them, they become what you default to when you're going through really difficult times. Today I'm walking through the first three principles of the SAM framework and how each one showed up for me during an excruciating summer.

In this episode, you'll hear:

💜 What was taped to the wall behind my sister's desk since 2022, and how it ended up in Logan's obituary

💜 The one thing I never did, not once, in a whole month of caring for a grieving family

💜 Why I canceled a signed contract on our house in late July

These experiences are deeply personal to me, but I really do believe they're universal in application, because when you know yourself and honor your needs, you can better love and support your people. That's the whole heart of SAM, and I'd love to spend this year walking through it with a new group of women.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

✨ Enrollment for the Self-Assured Motherhood program is open through Tuesday, September 22nd, and it only opens once a year. Classes start October 1st. All the details are at 3in30podcast.com/sam.

✨ Still deciding? Join me for a free preview class on Tuesday, September 15th or Friday, September 18th at 10:30 a.m. MT. Sign up at 3in30podcast.com/freeclass, and I'll send the replay if you can't make it live.

✨ Logan's full life sketch is on my sister's blog

Related Episodes:

484: In Memory of Logan McKenna: A Conversation with my Beloved Brother-in-Law

448: Join Our Team! A Word from our SAM Sisters

316: Considering the SAM Program? You MUST listen to this.

Episode Sponsors:

BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy.

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Rebel: Brand names you actually want in home, baby, and outdoor at up to 70% off. Go to fromrebel.com.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

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The sign-ups have started coming in. Fall sports, piano, dance, school plays – it's a lot. And while we know we want our kids to be involved in things so they can thrive, too often we're left burned out and... not thriving.

It's easy to assume the problem is the number of activities, and that the fix is to cut something. And sometimes it is. But a lot of the time, the schedule isn't actually the thing making us feel resentful or burned out or exhausted, and cutting out activites won't necessarily touch what's really going on.

This week's guest is Meesha Slade, a mom of three busy kids, and she goes underneath the scheduling question, to the question I think we are actually asking, which is, "How do I do this in a way that doesn't cost me myself?"

In this episode, you'll hear:

🚗 The brain dump Meesha did while sitting outside her son's TaeKwonDo class, and what showed up on the page that helped her resentment start to lift

🚗 The two hours Meesha spent stewing in a Scout room, and the boundary she set that night that has held ever since

🚗 Why Meesha's daughter was willing to join the swim team but refused to compete in a single meet for three years, and why Meesha decided to accept it

This episode isn't going to tell you the right number of activities for your family, because there isn't one. Instead, you'll walk away with more confidence to know what's best for your family during this season so that each person in your family can thrive, including you.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

If this episode has you thinking that you'd like to get clearer on what actually matters to you, I'm teaching a free class called How to Show Up More Like the Mom You Want to Be Every Day (Give or Take a Few), offered twice: Tuesday, September 15th and Friday, September 18th, both at 10:30 am MST. In one hour, I'll walk you through the same kind of exercise that helped Meesha see her values on paper. Save your spot at 3in30podcast.com/freeclass.

Related Episodes:

494: Voice Your Values // The Back-to-School Check-In for Moms #1

473: Three Things That Help Me Stay Sane During Busy, Overwhelming Seasons

375: 3 Ways Voicing Your Values will Help Lighten your Mental Load // Rachel Nielson on the Happy Mom Summit

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Rebel: Brand names you actually want in home, baby, and outdoor at up to 70% off. Go to fromrebel.com.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

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Consistency has never come easily to me. I'm a scattered creative, I have ADHD, and I have struggled with routines and habits for pretty much my whole life.

For years I assumed that meant something was wrong with me, and I felt like it was my fault that I couldn't stay consistent with anything.

But this week's guest, Monica Packer, has changed how I feel about habit-building.

Monica hosts the podcast About Progress, she recently wrote the book Sticky Habits, and she's one of my best friends in real life. She has spent a decade teaching women to build habits in a way that is compassionate and realistic for busy moms. She gave me a new definition of consistency in this conversation, and it is the first one that has ever made habit-building feel possible for someone like me.

In this episode, you'll learn:

🫶 The research on invisible labor that explains why habit advice written for men keeps failing you

🫶 Why our insistence on doing it perfectly is the very thing keeping us from staying consistent

🫶 What Monica did to make the habit of going to bed at a good time stick, even though she hates it

If you've been feeling the pull to reset all of your routines and create a bunch of new habits this back-to-school season, I hope this episode can help you do so in a way that's supportive and compassionate.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

✨ Sign-ups just opened for a brand new free masterclass I'm teaching: How to Show Up More Like the Mom You Want to Be Every Day (give or take a few 😉). I'll be teaching one tool, not a fancy system or a huge overhaul. I'm teaching it live on Tuesday, September 15th and Friday, September 18th, both at 10:30 a.m. MT. Save your spot here!

✨ Monica's book, Sticky Habits: A Woman's Guide to Reclaim Happiness, Ditch Perfectionism, and Create Habits That Last, comes out September 8th. If you pre-order at stickyhabitsbook.com, then you're invited to the virtual launch party on September 8th, which I am co-hosting. Come join!



Related Episodes:

267: How to Stop Procrastinating in the New Year // Monica Packer

214: Simple Tips to Create New Habits in the New Year // BJ Fogg

269: How to Create a Morning Routine that will Last // Sara Dean

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

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My instinct, when one of my kids is struggling, is to solve it, save them from it, or to worry about it so intensely that the worrying becomes consuming. These instincts are natural because I love my kids so much, and I hate to see them in pain. But they also don't work, at least not very effectively.

Our children need to experience hard things in order to grow, and the most useful thing I can do, as their mom, is to walk beside them, listen to their big emotions, and help them find resources. It doesn't come as instinctually because it's a slower process, but it's what they really need when they're going through something hard.

This is the sixth and final episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of self-assured motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing.

Today's principle is Support Their Struggles, and I picked that verb over solve, or save, or shame, because supporting means being with your child in the hard thing rather than lifting them out of it.

In this episode, you'll hear:

🤍 The list I have moms make in my program that helps them know where to start in supporting their children

🤍 What happened when I first started to suspect one of my kids had ADHD, and how I worked through the overwhelm of getting started

🤍 The green, yellow, and red descriptions for this principle, so you can name where you actually are right now without turning it into one more thing you're failing at

Whatever your child is carrying, you can be a steady presence beside them without picking it up and carrying it yourself, and that steadiness will mean more to them than any solution you could hand over. This is slow work; it's hard work, and it matters so much.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

Take the free self-assured motherhood quiz at 3in30podcast.com/quiz to see how you're doing across all six principles, and you'll get a discount code when enrollment opens on September 14th.



Related Episodes:

420: How to Best Support a Neurodivergent Child // Kim Gameroz

448: Join Our Team! A Word from our SAM Sisters

399: When Your Teen Struggles with Friends // Brooke Romney

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

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