3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

What you look for, you will find. I have believed that about motherhood for a long time now, long enough that I built a whole journal around the idea, and I have heard from hundreds of mothers who have had the same experience. They weren't finding more good because their children had suddenly changed. They were finding more good because they had started looking for it.

That is the whole heart of today's principle, and I love teaching it because it is such a happy way to parent. It makes you feel like a good mom. It reminds you that your kids are awesome, even on the days they are hard. And it gives you hope that all of this work you are doing is worth it, and that it is working.

This is the fifth episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of Self-Assured Motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing. Today's principle is Gather the Good, and we're talking about it specifically in the context of noticing and calling out the good in our children. When you start naming the good out loud, something lovely begins to happen. Your child starts to believe that story about who they are, and then they start behaving in ways that support it, which gives you more good to notice, which gives them more reason to believe it. It's a beautiful cycle, and it can start with one sentence said within earshot at the dinner table.

In this episode, you'll hear:

✨ The two sentences I say out loud about my kids when I know they can hear me, and why I'm not doing it to get them to behave

✨ Why the child who is hardest to praise is usually the one who needs it most, and what to do when that's the season you're in

✨ The green, yellow, and red descriptions for this principle, so you can figure out where you actually are right now, before the school year gets loud

There is so much good happening in your home already, and I hope this is the school year you get to spend more of your energy finding it.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

✨ Want to know how you're really doing across all six principles of self-assured motherhood? Take my free quiz. You'll get a clear picture of where you're thriving and where you could use some support, and you'll be added to the info list for my Self-Assured Motherhood program, which opens for enrollment on September 14th with a special discount for quiz-takers.

✨ If you're looking for a concrete daily practice for this principle, the Flecks of Gold Journal is the perfect tool to help.

Related Episodes:

447: What Parents in Disney Movies Got Wrong

304: Motherhood is hard. This helps.

158: Creating Golden Moments with Teenagers // Saren Eyre Loosli of Power of Families

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

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I have a confession. Of the six principles I teach in Self-Assured Motherhood, soul-care is the one where I'm still not where I want to be. I've taken good care of my mind and my spirit over the years, but when work gets busy, the first things to go are exercise, sleep, and eating well, and I'm starting to feel the cost of that in my body as I get older.

I say soul-care rather than self-care on purpose. Self-care has gotten a bad rap over the last few years, and I understand why. It has come to sound like bubble baths and expensive skin care, which can be an overwhelming (and not always helpful) thing to hand a woman who is truly worn out and struggling. A soul is body, mind, and spirit together, and caring for all three is a much bigger and more useful thing to talk about.

This is day four of the Back-to-School Check-In for Moms, a six-part series walking through each principle of the Self-Assured Motherhood framework, one short episode at a time. Caring for your soul can be bubble baths, but it can also be eating regular meals, and scheduling your mammogram. It can be learning something interesting, and it can be making sure to schedule a much needed nap. Soul-care is how we make sure we have the energy and bandwidth we need to take care of those we love and thrive in our lives.

In this episode you'll hear:

🤍 The story of 33 men trapped underground for 69 days, and the warning the mountain had been giving for months before anyone stopped to listen

🤍 A question one of my SAM students asks about childcare that will change the way the phrase "self-care" sounds to you

🤍 The green, yellow, red assessment for this principle, and the color I had to give myself

If something in you has been asking for attention for a while now, I hope this short episode will give you permission to listen. You deserve to be taken care of, just like everyone else in your life.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

Take the free Self-Assured Motherhood quiz at 3in30podcast.com/quiz to see how you're doing across all six principles. Quiz-takers get a discount when enrollment opens on September 14th.



Related Episodes:

438: How Soul-Care Can Help You Enjoy Motherhood More: Real Stories from Moms Like You // SAM Sisters

441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad

320: Making Space for Self-Care: It Might Not Be As Hard As You Think // Dr. Nicole Sparks

Episode Sponsors:

AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3IN30 to get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers, including the 3500, 4000, and 5500 models.

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

***

After years and years of therapy, I have gotten pretty good at setting boundaries with almost everyone in my life. My weakest area, by far, is my own children. I'm a softie, and it is very difficult for me to let my kids be unhappy and not immediately try to resolve it.

That instinct comes from something real, because connection with my children is one of my true strengths and I lean into it on purpose, but it can tip over into permissiveness pretty easily. And since I work from home, the line between when I'm mom and when I'm working has stayed blurry for years, which means I have been frustrated with my kids for interrupting me when I was never clear or consistent with them in the first place about when they could and could not come in.

This is the third episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of self-assured motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing.

Today's principle is Balance Your Boundaries, and because boundaries have become such a buzzword, I want to take us back to a simple definition of what they are and what they are not. Boundaries are what you will do to honor your needs, not what you expect other people to do. Which means the whole thing gets a lot simpler, because it stops depending on anyone else cooperating.

In this episode, you'll hear:

💜 A recording I made by accident that I decided to play for you, even though it is not my finest moment as a mom

💜 The image a counselor gave me years ago that I come back to every single time I feel guilty about holding a limit

💜 The sign I'm putting on my office door to help me, and what I'll do the first time on of my kids ignores it

Being unboundaried can feel like the loving choice, but it so rarely is. I hope this school year is the one where your boundaries start to feel like an act of love, because that is exactly what they are.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

***

Announcements:

Want to know how you're really doing across all six principles of self-assured motherhood? Take the free interactive quiz at 3in30podcast.com/quiz. You'll get a clear picture of where you're thriving and where you could use more support, and you'll be added to the info list for my Self-Assured Motherhood program, which opens for enrollment on September 14th with a special discount for quiz-takers.

Related Episodes:

445: How to Set Boundaries without Damaging Relationships // Rachel on Happy Mom Summit

437: Boundaries and Emotional Resilience in Motherhood // Dr. Jen Riday

251: How to Set Boundaries with your Children // Stacey Collins

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

***

I have spent so much time, energy, and money over the years trying to get good at the things I am simply not good at. Routines are my big one. I am not great at keeping our home organized and running on any kind of rhythm, and there have been whole seasons where I decided that fixing that about myself was the most important work I could possibly be doing.

Now, there's nothing wrong with striving to be better, and I am fully on board with growth, but we all have a finite amount of energy, and every hour I spend hyper-focusing on a weakness is an hour I don't get to spend magnifying the things that make me who I am.

This is the second episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of self-assured motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing.

Today's principle is Celebrate Your Strengths, and I love teaching about this because I love giving every woman permission to acknowledge and celebrate her innate gifts and strengths. When you stop trying to be a well-rounded version of everyone else and start leaning into what you naturally do well, your growth in that area becomes exponential, your joy goes up, and your family gets the very best of you instead of a watered-down imitation of somebody else's mothering.

In this episode, you'll hear:

💛 The Olympic gymnast who competed in exactly one event, and why his coaches wanted it that way

💛 A question about baseball from a Harvard Business Review article that I share with every woman in my Self-Assured Motherhood program

💛 The answer one of my kids gave in the car one summer that made me so grateful I had leaned into my strength that day instead of apologizing for everything I'm not

You have gifts that nobody else can bring to your family in quite the way you can, and I hope this school year is the one where you spend your energy magnifying those, rather than apologizing for all the rest.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

***

Announcements:

Want to know how you're doing across all six principles of self-assured motherhood? Take the free interactive quiz at 3in30podcast.com/quiz. You'll get a clear picture of where you're thriving and where you could use more support, and you'll be added to the info list for my Self-Assured Motherhood program, which opens for enrollment on September 14th with a special discount for quiz-takers.

Related Episodes:

436: Embrace the Mom You Are—Not the One You Think You Should Be // Julie Bastedo

315: A Word from our SAM Sisters

314: How to Feel like Yourself in Motherhood // Aleisha McKean

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

***

It's back-to-school season, and our kids are about to be assessed on their reading, their math, and their writing. But what if we gave ourselves an assessment for how we're doing as moms? (And I don't mean a test involving balancing equations... I would rather not know my score for that. 😬) Instead, we can assess ourselves on our emotional wellbeing, because that affects everything about motherhood.

And so I've created a mini series to give us exactly that.In this mini series, there will be six short episodes that walk you through each of my six principles of Self-Assured Motherhood. These are the six areas that make the biggest difference in your joy, your peace, and your emotional wellbeing, and knowing where you stand in each one shows you where you're already doing well and where you could use more support.

Today, we are starting with my first principle: Voice Your Values. This is my favorite principle in the framework, and the one I put first because everything else rests on it.

In this episode you'll hear:

✨ The two dictionary definitions of "values," and which definition we're talking about here.

✨ The five cards my husband handed me during a values activity at a couples retreat, because they explained a dream of his that had been a mystery to me for years.

✨ The green, yellow, and red definitions I read straight from my workbook, so you can figure out which one describes you right now.

You can take my free self-assessment to see exactly where you stand in all six areas — go to 3in30podcast.com/quiz or click the link in the show notes.

As you head into the back-to-school season with your kids, I hope you'll take some time to assess where you're at in your own growth and happiness. These six principles are a great place to start.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

***

Announcements:

Enrollment for the Self-Assured Motherhood Program opens September 14th. Take our Quiz and you will be added to the info list, so you will hear first when the doors open.

Related Episodes:

375: 3 Ways Voicing Your Values will Help Lighten your Mental Load // Rachel Nielson on the Happy Mom Summit

388: What a Spaghetti Dinner Taught Me About Teaching // 3 Reasons the SAM Program REALLY Works

389: I'm a Seasoned Mom. Is SAM for me? // Wanda Opitz, SAM Alumni

Podcast Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

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