How Culture Shapes Identity and Belonging | "I Wished I Was White"
ABOUT THE EPISODEIn this episode, Alveena opens up about growing up wishing she was white and the long journey toward self acceptance. She reflects on identity, belonging, and how cultural expectations can quietly shape who we become.Through honest storytelling and psychological insight, she explores self discrepancy theory and the tension between who we are, who we wish to be, and who we think we should be. Alveena blends ideas from psychology, mental health, and Islamic spirituality to show how self awareness and faith can help us bridge those internal gaps and start living more authentically.This episode is a powerful listen for anyone interested in faith and identity, mental health podcasts, or healing through faith and psychology.KEY TAKEAWAYSSelf discrepancy theory explains the emotional gap between our actual, ideal, and ought selves.When those selves clash, it creates inner tension that can lead to guilt, burnout, or perfectionism.Wholehearted living means accepting your current self as worthy instead of chasing an ideal version.Belonging starts within, moving or changing environments won’t fix internal disconnection.Faith and spirituality can become tools for self compassion when rooted in sincerity, not performance.Healing often begins when you reconcile your real self with the version of you that once hid to fit in.BEST MOMENTS“For a long time I wished I was white, just because being white seemed easier.”“The gap between who I was and who I wished I could be is what psychologists call the self discrepancy theory.”“Wholehearted living means I’m worthy now, not when I lose weight, not when I pray more, not when I look like my friends.”“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”“The freedom I’m giving my children to be themselves is the same freedom I’m learning to give to myself.”LINKSLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveenaABOUT THE HOSTAlveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality.Her work blends academic insight with lived experience, drawing from her background in teaching, therapy, and faith to explore identity, belonging, and healing.Through her writing and podcast, she shares deeply personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living.Grounded yet introspective, Alveena invites others to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena
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14:28
The Power of Yet: Rewiring a Fixed Mindset
Feeling stuck? Like some parts of you just can’t change? You’re not alone — that’s the fixed mindset talking.In this episode of Reflections & Realizations, we unpack how fixed mindset thinking limits growth, fuels self-doubt, and traps us in old stories. But here’s the game changer: the power of yet — the simple word that shifts “I can’t” into “I’m learning.” Drawing from Carol Dweck’s groundbreaking mindset research and faith-based encouragement, we explore how belief shapes our ability to grow.I introduce a straightforward two-step journaling tool, From Fixed to Growth Mindset, designed to help you spot those limiting thoughts and reframe them into hopeful, growth-oriented ones.This is about catching those stories before they become your identity — and gently rewriting your inner narrative with kindness and possibility.🛠️ From Fixed to Growth Mindset Framework➤ Step 1: Spot the Fixed Mindset ThoughtWrite down the limiting belief:“I’m not a morning person.”“I can’t stay organised no matter what.”➤ Step 2: Reframe with Growth MindsetRewrite it kindly and hopefully:“I’m learning how to create a morning routine that works for me.”“I can develop better organisation skills with small daily habits.”Journaling this regularly trains your brain to choose growth over defeat — one thought at a time.With love,AlveenaReflections & Realizations#GrowthMindset #FixedMindset #FaithAndPsychology #MuslimPodcast #CarolDweck #SelfGrowth #JournalingTool #MindsetShift #InnerWork #EmotionalResilience #PositivePsychology #SpiritualGrowthThank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena
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The Lies Your Brain Tells You
Your thoughts aren’t always facts. Especially the loud, anxious ones.Ever spiralled after one text left on read… or convinced yourself something terrible happened just because someone was late?In this episode of Reflections & Realizations, we explore the hidden mental traps your brain sets — known as cognitive distortions. These are the lies that shape your emotional reality: fortune-telling, catastrophizing, mind-reading… they feel real, but they’re not. Left unchecked, they steal your peace, fuel anxiety, and distort how you see yourself and the world.I introduce a two-step Realignment Tool, inspired by Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), to help you catch those distorted thought loops and choose a new response.This is about waking up. Interrupting your patterns. And reclaiming the version of you that’s been buried under anxious noise and mental autopilot.🛠️ The Name It & Challenge It Framework➤ Step 1: Name ItCatch the distortion and call it out.Examples:“I’m definitely going to fail this.” → That’s fortune telling.“They’re not replying. They must hate me.” → That’s mind-reading.Naming it helps you see the thought for what it is: not truth, just a mental reflex.➤ Step 2: Challenge ItNow slow it down. Ask yourself:What’s the actual evidence?Am I ignoring other, more likely outcomes?What would I say to a friend who had this thought?What does my faith remind me about Allah’s mercy, qadr, and ease?You can respond with curiosity instead of fear. You can speak back with truth instead of silence.Because challenging distorted thoughts isn’t about perfection — it’s about freedom.With love,AlveenaReflections & Realizations#CognitiveDistortions #FaithAndPsychology #CBTTools #MuslimPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #MindsetShift #SelfCompassion #IslamicPsychology #ThoughtWork #InnerPeace #InterruptTheLoop #EmotionalResilienceThank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena
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Why Are You Even Doing This?
Ever caught yourself wondering, “Why am I even doing this?”—whether it’s grinding through work, managing parenting, or just getting through the day?In this episode of Reflections & Realizations, I lean into Simon Sinek’s golden insight: start with why. Purpose isn’t just corporate jargon; it’s the fuel that powers us through burnout, doubt, and exhaustion. When your why is clear, even the toughest tasks become meaningful.I introduce a simple, two-step journaling practice I call the Return to Your Why Framework.This is about pausing in your busy day to name the moment you’re in and reconnect with the deeper reasons behind your actions.It’s a practice to carry you through the grind with intention, faith, and heart.🛠️ Return to Your Why Framework➤ Step 1: Name the MomentPick one moment — your morning workout, that next work email, bedtime with your child — and bring it fully into focus.➤ Step 2: Remind Yourself WhyAsk yourself:Why does this matter?Why am I doing this?List or talk through your whys — the deeper purpose behind your actions. For me, it’s often, “I’m doing this so I have energy to parent” or “because I’m caring for the body Allah gave me.”The more you practice, the more your why becomes the energy that carries you — especially on the hard days.With love,AlveenaReflections & Realizations#FindYourWhy #SimonSinek #FaithAndPsychology #PurposeDriven #MuslimPodcast #IntentionalLiving #BurnoutRecovery #JournalingTool #MindsetShift #InnerWork #SpiritualGrowth #ParentingWithPurposeThank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena
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Raised as a Dog: What Environments Do to Us
What if the problem isn’t you — but the environment you were raised in?Inspired by the book “The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog,” this episode explores how our surroundings literally shape our nervous system. From childhood homes to adult relationships, the people and places around us can either heal us… or keep us in survival mode.In this episode of Reflections & Realizations, I break down the neuroscience of safety, trauma-informed psychology, and the subtle but powerful ways our environments teach our bodies how to feel — anxious or calm, safe or on guard, loved or invisible.I introduce a two-step Realignment Tool, built around nervous system awareness and trauma-informed journaling, to help you spot what your body has been trying to tell you.This is about scanning your reality with honesty — and shifting, one small step at a time, toward something safer.🛠️ The Scan & Shift Framework➤ Step 1: ScanTune into your body. Ask:Do I feel safe here?Are my shoulders tense? Jaw tight?Do I leave this space or person feeling drained… or energized?Your nervous system knows the truth before your mind does.➤ Step 2: ShiftOnce you’ve spotted what’s not serving you:Can you set a boundary?Step back from a draining dynamic?Change how you respond to a known trigger?Even small changes can help retrain your brain’s sense of safety.Because your environment doesn’t just influence you — it programs you. And you deserve to live in a space, both internal and external, that makes your body exhale.With love,AlveenaReflections & Realizations#TraumaInformed #FaithAndPsychology #NervousSystemHealing #MuslimPodcast #EmotionalSafety #TheBoyWhoWasRaisedAsADog #InnerHealing #EnvironmentMatters #SelfAwareness #BoundariesAreSunnah #HealingSpaces #PsychologyPodcastThank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena
Reflections & Realisations is a faith-based psychology podcast exploring how our past shapes who we become and how we can heal through self-awareness, spirituality, and compassion.Hosted by Alveena, a Psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker, the podcast blends mental health insights, spirituality, and personal storytelling to explore themes of identity, healing, and growth.Each episode unpacks the real psychology behind how we think, feel, and love, from attachment styles and trauma to faith, self-worth, and emotional resilience.Born from years of journaling, therapy, and reflection, Reflections & Realisations invites you to slow down, question, and reconnect with yourself through honest conversations that bridge science and spirituality.If you’re drawn to psychology, faith, healing, and self-discovery, this podcast is for you. No quick fixes. No perfect answers. Just real reflections that remind you that you are not alone in your journey.Together, we explore:Mental health, emotion, and healing through a faith-based lensThe psychology of attachment, trauma, and resilienceHow spirituality and self-awareness guide emotional growthHonest reflections on belonging, identity, and loveJoin the journey toward understanding yourself and healing deeply, one reflection at a time.
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