We’ve been sold a lie about love. Movies, books, and social media tell us it’s all about sparks, passion, and intensity — but that isn’t real love.In this episode of Couples in Focus, I delve into the truth about lasting love: why it feels calm rather than chaotic, why it develops gradually over time, and how attachment theory reveals what a genuine connection is built upon. You’ll hear stories that highlight the difference between intensity that fizzles out and the kind of steady, safe love that lasts.If you’re ready to rethink what love really means and how to build it, tune in — and learn more about relationships and therapy at coupletherapy.earth.
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25:26
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25:26
Finding Your Way Back — The Inner Compass of Mental Health
Why do we so often feel lost in our mental health journey? In this episode of Couples in Focus, I introduce the metaphor of the inner compass — the signals of our thoughts, emotions, and body sensations that point us toward balance or warn us when we’re drifting off course.Through real stories, we’ll explore how ignoring small signals, such as tension, rumination, or sadness, only makes them grow louder, and how learning to listen helps us make small course corrections before they become crises. You’ll discover practical tools for reorienting yourself to your inner compass, allowing you to find steadiness and clarity in everyday life.For more on therapy and emotional well-being, visit coupletherapy.earth
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24:24
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24:24
Attachment Styles and Compatibility — Who We Click With and Why
Why do some relationships feel easy while others leave us stuck in constant cycles of tension? A lot of the answer lies in attachment styles — the patterns we carry into love, intimacy, and connection.In this episode of Couples in Focus, I’ll break down the four main attachment styles, how they tend to pair up, and why certain combinations spark harmony while others create friction. You’ll hear real-life examples of anxious–avoidant push-pull dynamics, how secure partners bring balance, and what to look for if you want a relationship that feels safe and fulfilling.Whether you’re dating, in a relationship, or reflecting on past connections, this episode will help you recognise your own style and understand how compatibility really works.Learn more about relationships and therapy at coupletherapy.earth.
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27:48
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27:48
The Only Two Questions You Need on a Date
On this episode of Couples in Focus, we cut through the noise of dating advice and boil it down to just two questions:Do I feel safe, relaxed, and like I can be myself?Do I feel accepted and seen?Through real stories, I’ll show how these two simple questions reveal more than any dating script ever could — helping you notice the difference between a date that drains you and one that feels energising and real.If you want to dive deeper into relationships and therapy, visit coupletherapy.earth.
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22:46
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22:46
Navigating Relationship Dynamics
SummaryIn this conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston explore the complexities of relationships, particularly the notion of keeping one's side of the street clean. They discuss the importance of understanding both individual and shared worlds in a relationship, the impact of emotional neglect, and the necessity of co-regulation. The dialogue emphasises that relationships are not merely transactional but require mutual support and emotional engagement. They highlight the significance of emotions as a compass guiding individuals back to their needs and the importance of navigating emotional responsibility without falling into the trap of managing each other's emotions.Check out my website for couples therapyTakeawaysKeeping your side of the street clean is simplistic.Relationships require understanding both individual and shared worlds.Emotional neglect can have lasting impacts.It's not just about doing your part; it's about connection.Co-regulation is essential for emotional health.Good intentions can still cause harm in relationships.Emotions serve as a compass for our needs.Mutual support is crucial in navigating challenges.Relationships are not about 50-50; it's about collective resources.We need to walk hand in hand in our emotional journeys.Chapters00:00 The Concept of Relationship Dynamics02:49 Understanding Individual and Shared Worlds05:31 The Impact of Emotional Neglect08:32 The Complexity of Keeping Your Side Clean11:20 The Role of Systems in Relationships14:11 Navigating Emotional Responsibility16:58 The Importance of Co-Regulation19:56 Mutual Support in Relationships23:03 The Balance of Emotional Engagement25:55 The Role of Emotions as a Compass28:41 Final Thoughts on Relationship Dynamics
Couples in Focus is a podcast for anyone wanting to improve their relationships. Hosted by Thomas and Michael, two relationship therapists from https://coupletherapy.earth/ and thesecurecouple.com, it offers expert insights, real-world advice, and answers to audience questions. They cover communication, intimacy, trust, and conflict, providing actionable tools and compassionate guidance. Each episode explores relatable challenges and offers practical strategies to help couples strengthen their connection and thrive in their relationships.
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