Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• #1233 - Hurried (Not Curried) Child Syndrome

  Justin and Kylie reflect on a broken promise many families made during COVID — to never return to the rushed, overscheduled lives we previously lived. They explore the concept of "Hurried Child Syndrome," first introduced by Dr. David Elkind, and discuss the troubling impacts of pushing children to grow up too fast. With honesty and humor, they offer practical insights and three powerful strategies to help families slow down and reclaim childhood. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"The number one way to unhurry childhood is to literally slow it down so the kids can be playing — especially with other kids, especially in unstructured activities." KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Hurried Childhood Defined: Accelerated academics, overscheduling, early exposure to adult issues, and perfectionist pressures can rob children of their childhood. Mental Health Impact: Being hurried can lead to anxiety, depression, low resilience, and feelings of unworthiness. The Competitive Parenting Trap: Fear of children falling behind — academically or socially — often drives overscheduling. Unstructured Play is Crucial: It builds cognitive, social, and emotional development and is one of the best antidotes to a hurried life. Support, Don’t Script, Their Dreams: Children thrive when they pursue self-determined goals — not the aspirations imposed by well-meaning parents. Balance is Everything: A well-paced schedule with space for rest and connection supports wellbeing for both kids and parents. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Dr. David Elkind's research on Hurried Child Syndrome Interview with Olympic swimmer Emma McKeon (available on a previous Happy Families Podcast episode) The book “Parental Guidance” (referenced in Season 1) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Prioritise Play: Make time for unstructured, child-led play — ideally with other children and without adult direction. Let Kids Lead: Encourage your children to set their own goals based on their passions and strengths. Create a Balanced Schedule: Limit extracurriculars and protect time for rest, relationships, and real connection. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1232 - 71% of Household Mental Load Falls to Mums - Here's Why (R)

  The mental load in families isn't just about remembering school events or planning meals - it's an invisible, boundaryless, and enduring form of labour that impacts relationships, careers, and wellbeing. Join Professor Leah Ruppanner from the University of Melbourne as she unpacks groundbreaking research on how mental load affects modern families, why it's not just about task-sharing, and what couples can do to create more balance. Quote of the Episode: "The mental load is the emotional thinking work that we do to keep our households functioning." Key Insights: Women carry 71% of household mental load tasks. Mental load is invisible, boundary-less, and enduring. Both partners often duplicate mental load without realising. Schools generate nearly 3,000 WhatsApp messages per child annually. Men in equitable relationships report better health, sleep, and life satisfaction. Single parents (both mums and dads) share similar mental load levels. Work structures and social norms make it difficult for men to step into care roles. Mental load cannot be eliminated but can be better understood and managed. Resources Mentioned: Fair Play cards system Goldie app for managing school communications University of Melbourne research Misperceived podcast Professor Leah Ruppanner (@ProfLeah on Instagram) Action Steps for Parents: Start conversations about mental load without blame or past baggage. Consider how technology (like AI assistants) might help manage communications. Acknowledge both partners' different but equally valid mental burdens. Practice accepting help and taking breaks without guilt. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1231 - Why Your Husband's Diet Works (And Yours Doesn't) (R)

  From dinosaur cartilage to gluten-free unicorn tears, the wellness industry has gone off the rails. Drawing from viral content creator Caitlin Murray's (@BigTimeAdulting) hilarious take on modern health advice, we unpack why women's health has become so complicated and offer practical alternatives to the supplement-heavy, social-media-driven wellness culture. Quote of the Episode: "The best health plan is the one that you can maintain long term." Key Insights: Modern wellness culture creates overwhelming and often contradictory advice Social media amplifies health anxiety and pressure The wellness industrial complex keeps adding complexity and cost Simple, sustainable changes often work better than extreme measures There's a difference between purchasing progress and earning it Family involvement can make healthy choices more sustainable Most health improvements require either time or money investment The basics (movement, whole foods, sleep) still matter most Resources Mentioned: BigTimeAdulting (Caitlin Murray) on Instagram Australian adult physical activity statistics Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Focus on sustainable, long-term health habits rather than quick fixes Reduce social media consumption for better mental and physical health Make healthy choices a family activity rather than an individual burden Choose whole foods and regular movement over complicated supplement regimens See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1230 - The 3-Step Solution to Better Emotional Regulation (R)

  Why do our kids lose it over the smallest things—and how can we help them hold it together? In this insightful episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack what emotional regulation really means and share a simple 3-step framework to help kids (and parents!) handle big feelings more effectively. Whether it's tantrums, sibling fights, or homework meltdowns, these tools will help your family build emotional resilience—without losing your cool. KEY POINTS: Emotional regulation is about expressing or suppressing emotions appropriately to achieve long-term goals. Most children develop consistent regulation skills by age 9, but they still need support along the way. Regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings—it’s about processing them constructively. Parents must model regulation themselves, not just expect it from their kids. Three powerful parenting tools: Support, don’t solve – Be present and connected without taking over. Offer hints – Gently guide children through overwhelm with small, manageable steps. Read the room – Check for physical or emotional needs that might be driving big reactions. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Support, don’t solve—it builds competence, autonomy, and connection all at once.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Experiment Self-Determination Theory HappyFamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Pause before reacting—check your own emotional state before helping your child regulate theirs. Name the emotion and offer empathy—validate your child’s feelings without fixing them. Break big tasks into chunks—help your child manage overwhelm one step at a time. Create a regulation-friendly environment—watch for hunger, fatigue, or stress that may fuel dysregulation. Model emotional regulation—let your child see you process your emotions calmly and respectfully. Resources Mentioned: Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Experiment Self-Determination Theory HappyFamilies.com.au See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1229 - Age-Based Consent Conversations (R)

  Consent isn’t just a conversation for teens—it starts from birth and evolves with every stage of childhood. In this important episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack how to teach kids about consent from zero to adolescence. From tickle fights to tricky teen moments, this is your guide to raising respectful, confident kids who know their rights, understand boundaries, and feel empowered to speak up. KEY POINTS: Consent starts early: young children can learn body autonomy through everyday routines like bath time and tickling. Children should be taught they have a voice and their boundaries matter—even with trusted adults and relatives. From ages 6–12, focus on body language, verbal/non-verbal cues, and respect in friendships. For teenagers, conversations shift to romantic relationships, digital safety, and clear, enthusiastic consent. Consent is not a one-off talk—it’s an ongoing conversation based on empathy, safety, and empowerment. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“If the person you’re with won’t be excited about what happened tomorrow, that’s not consent.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Consent Can’t Wait – National campaign with age-appropriate, inclusive resources. Happy Families website – happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start early: Give your child opportunities to express preferences about hugs, play, and physical affection. Use everyday language to explain consent during routines like dressing or bathing. Teach kids to read body language and respect “no”—even when it's non-verbal. Give your teens the tools to navigate peer pressure, digital safety, and intimacy with clarity and confidence. Remind your children that they owe no one access to their body—ever. Have open, ongoing conversations about boundaries, empathy, and healthy relationships—at every age. RELATED LINKS: #217 The Age of Consent with Rebecca Sparrow #226 More Than Consent Education with Melinda Tankard Reist Sex, Consent & Staying Safe [Webinar] #1071 - Body Boundaries With Jayneen Sanders Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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