Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What if the person your child needs protection from is someone they already know and trust? Child sexual abuse is an uncomfortable topic, but staying silent can leave children without the knowledge or confidence to speak up. Dr Justin Coulson talks with counselling psychotherapist Karen Phillip, author of I Thought He Was My Friend, about grooming, recognising warning signs, teaching children the difference between secrets and surprises, and helping them find their voice. Learn how to have age-appropriate conversations that keep children safe without making them afraid of the world.
KEY POINTS:
Why children are often harmed by someone they already know and trust.

The difference between secrets and surprises, and why the distinction matters.

How grooming uses trust, threats and secrecy to silence children.

Why children need to know they don't have to be polite when someone makes them uncomfortable.

How to recognise changes in behaviour, including refusing to visit certain people or places.

How to ask open-ended questions and listen without leading your child's answers.

Why conversations about personal safety need to start when children are young.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
"If it's not feeling comfortable for you, then it's not right for you."
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
I Thought He Was My Friend by Karen Phillip

Happy Families: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
Teach your children that surprises are shared, but secrets should never have to be kept.

Remind them they never have to be polite when someone crosses their boundaries.

Start age-appropriate conversations about personal safety from a young age.

Ask open-ended questions such as "What's making you feel uncomfortable?" rather than questions that suggest an answer.

Take changes in behaviour seriously, especially when a child suddenly refuses to visit someone or go somewhere.

Make sure your child knows they can always tell you something, and you will listen without getting angry.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when a child who hates holidays, refuses new foods and struggles with unfamiliar places chooses a trip to China? Kylie shares how giving their 12-year-old daughter a say in the family holiday led to an experience that surprised everyone. From trying unfamiliar food to making new friends and exploring the Great Wall of China, this trip offered some unexpected lessons in parenting, independence and giving kids more control. Discover how to get reluctant kids excited about family holidays without letting them dictate every detail.
Key Points:
Why asking kids what they actually want from a holiday can change their attitude.

How giving children a say builds autonomy and cooperation.

Why a group tour can be a great option for travelling with kids.

Preparing reluctant eaters for unfamiliar food and new experiences.

How hands-on activities make holidays more engaging for children.

Giving kids choices without handing over all the decisions.

Recognising when children need downtime and when they're ready for a challenge.

Quote of the Episode:
"The biggest highlight for me was watching our 12-year-old. It was almost like she was growing up right before my eyes."
Action Steps for Parents:
Ask your child what they don't enjoy about family holidays.

Give them a chance to suggest destinations or activities they'd love to experience.

Find small ways to offer choices, even if they're too young to choose the destination.

Look for hands-on experiences that let kids explore, create and learn.

Talk about unfamiliar food and experiences before you travel.

Allow room for rest and downtime rather than filling every moment.

Consider a group tour if your children enjoy being around other kids.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your kids might roll their eyes at you today, but the little things you do as a family could become the memories they treasure for a lifetime. Justin and Kylie share why family traditions matter, how unexpected moments become lasting rituals, and why parenting doesn't always come with the answers. From teenagers who are embarrassed by their parents to a Christmas tradition that nearly got cancelled, this episode is a reminder that the small things often mean the most.
KEY POINTS:
Why parenting doesn't always go to plan, even when you're doing everything right.

Learning to let teenagers grow up without taking their independence personally.

Why family traditions create belonging, identity and lasting memories.

How everyday routines like Sunday dinners can become the traditions children cherish.

Simple ways to create meaningful family traditions without spending money.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
"Traditions often just happen because of what you do with your family on a regular basis."
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
Think about the little things your family does regularly. Could they already be traditions?

Start a simple ritual, such as Sunday dinner, a family walk or dancing in the kitchen.

Ask your children which family traditions matter most to them.

Don't panic when parenting doesn't go to plan. Keep showing up and give your children room to grow.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is smacking really harmless if you grew up with it? A new Australian study reveals just how many parents still believe physical punishment is acceptable, even when it involves hitting a child with a wooden spoon or across the face.
Justin and Kylie unpack the research behind smacking, challenge the familiar "I turned out fine" argument and explain why physical punishment doesn't teach children the lessons parents hope it will. More importantly, they share a better way to handle challenging behaviour without hurting your child.
KEY POINTS
What a new Australian study reveals about attitudes towards smacking.

Why "I turned out fine" isn't proof that physical punishment is harmless.

What six decades of research tell us about smacking and children's behaviour.

The links between physical punishment, aggression and mental health struggles.

Why smacking may achieve short-term compliance but doesn't create lasting change.

How to use problem-solving conversations to teach better behaviour.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"Discipline not as an opportunity to hurt our child, but an opportunity to help our child."
RESOURCES MENTIONED
The Fallacy of the 'I Turned Out Fine' Argument The New York Times article by Justin Coulson

Parenting books, articles and free podcast resources at happyfamilies.com.au.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Notice when you're reaching for punishment out of frustration.

Wait until everyone is calm before addressing challenging behaviour.

Talk with your child about what went wrong and how to prevent it happening again.

Give your child a chance to help create family rules and solutions.

Focus on teaching the behaviour you want to see, rather than punishing the behaviour you don't.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bedtime shouldn't end in arguments every night. Justin and Kylie share practical ways to help older kids wind down, stick to routines and take more responsibility for getting enough sleep. From screen time and dimming the lights to giving teens more control over bedtime, discover how to make evenings calmer and mornings less stressful.
KEY POINTS
Use the Three E's approach: Explore, Explain and Empower to work through bedtime struggles together.

Set consistent evening routines for dinner, showers, homework and getting ready for bed.

Reduce screen time in bedrooms and use dim lighting or music to help everyone wind down.

Slow the evening down with family time and a shared tidy-up.

Give older kids more independence by focusing on getting up on time and managing the consequences of late nights.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“You go to bed when you go to bed. So long as we don't have any problems in the morning, we're all good.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Happy Families: happyfamilies.com.au
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Set aside time this weekend to talk with your kids about what's making bedtime difficult.

Agree on a realistic evening routine that everyone understands.

Check whether screens are keeping your kids awake or making it harder to wind down.

Try dimming the lights and slowing down the pace of the evening.

Give older kids more say in their bedtime while setting clear expectations for getting up in the morning.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.