Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What if some of the parenting advice you’ve been given was completely wrong?
Richard Glover has spent years digging through Australian parenting manuals, government advice and expert recommendations from the past 100 years. What he found is funny, disturbing and surprisingly reassuring.
From being told not to cuddle a crying baby to warnings that praise would make children arrogant, Richard reveals how generations of parents were taught to ignore their instincts. He also explains why looking back at parenting history can help us stop chasing every new expert theory and trust ourselves a little more.
KEY POINTS
Why parents were once told not to cuddle crying babies
How government parenting advice shaped generations of Australian families
Why harsh parenting keeps coming back in new forms
What history can teach us about today's parenting trends
Why parents can be more forgiving of their own childhood experiences
The simple things children actually need: love, stability and age-appropriate limits
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“Children need stability, a sense of order, a sense of rules, and they need a lot of love.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED
How to Ruin a Child by Richard Glover
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Be wary of extreme parenting advice that promises one perfect way to raise children.
Trust your instincts when something feels wrong.
Give your children clear, age-appropriate boundaries alongside plenty of love.
Remember that you don't have to get parenting perfect to raise a perfectly decent human being.
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Today Justin is taking on a gruelling 50km walk carrying a 10kg vest to raise $50,000 for Top Blokes, a mentoring program helping young men build resilience, develop healthy relationships and learn to ask for help.
After losing his nephew Logan to suicide, this mission is deeply personal.
We need just 600 more people to donate $50 each to reach this target. Can you help lift the load? Donate here!
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Parenting gets harder when your kids start needing you less.
Justin and Kylie talk about the messy reality of raising children who eventually leave home, make their own choices and face hard things without you beside them. They share a beautiful reminder that resilience rarely looks neat, why the struggle matters, and why the goal of parenting is to make yourself redundant.
They also talk about Justin’s 50K for 50K Lift the Load challenge, raising money to help Top Blokes support boys with mentors and positive models of masculinity.
KEY POINTS
Resilient kids don’t always look confident. Sometimes resilience looks messy, uncertain and uncomfortable.
Your child’s struggle isn’t always something you need to fix. Some struggles are where growth happens.
Kids spell love T-I-M-E. Time with your children still matters when they become adults.
The goal of parenting is to make yourself redundant. When children no longer need you, they can choose to come back because they want to.
Raising boys well means giving them positive models of masculinity, kindness, respect and healthy relationships.
Sometimes doing something meaningful means stepping well outside your comfort zone.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“Make yourself redundant. And the great irony is, if you do it well, because they don’t need you, they come back not because they need you, but because they want to be there.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Lift the Load 50K for 50K
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Resist the urge to rescue your child from every uncomfortable experience.
Give your kids time, even when they’re older and independent.
When your child is struggling, ask yourself whether they need rescuing or simply need you beside them.
Look for opportunities to model kindness, respect and healthy relationships.
Think about one thing you can do tomorrow that strengthens your relationship with your child.
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The more you monitor your kids, the more they might hide.
Research on parental monitoring shows that knowing where your kids are matters far less than creating a relationship where they feel safe telling you what is really going on. Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack what the research says about disclosure, surveillance, rules and trust, and share five practical ways to help your kids keep talking when things go wrong.
KEY POINTS
Why kids' voluntary disclosure tells parents more than surveillance
How negative reactions can lead to more secrecy
Why punishment can shut down honesty
How to respond when your child tells you something difficult
Why clear reasons and autonomy-supportive rules build trust
Why covert snooping can make kids sneakier
How to stay connected as children become more independent
The difference between emotion for your child and emotion at your child
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“Location apps will show you where they are, but only the relationship that you have will tell you how they are.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Stattin and Kerr's 2003 research on parental monitoring and disclosure
Weinstein and Schabulski's research on autonomy-supportive parenting
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Take a breath before reacting when your child tells you something difficult.
Say, “I’m glad you told me,” before jumping into consequences.
Focus on solving the problem rather than punishing the disclosure.
Explain why your rules exist and give your child choices where you can.
Create regular opportunities to talk without turning every conversation into an interrogation.
Get curious, not furious.
Don't rely on covert snooping to find out what your child is doing.
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Australia made global headlines when it introduced a minimum age of 16 for social media. But months on, more than eight in 10 kids are still using age-restricted platforms.
Justin Coulson sits down with Federal Communications Minister Anika Wells to ask what is happening, why compliance has been so difficult, and what the new Digital Duty of Care could mean for families.
The proposed laws go beyond social media to cover gaming, AI chatbots and other online platforms, with new requirements around harmful content and addictive design features such as endless scrolling and popularity metrics.
KEY POINTS
Why compliance with the under-16 social media laws has been slower than expected
Why the responsibility needs to sit with big tech, not exhausted parents
What the proposed Digital Duty of Care could change
How AI, gaming, chatbots and other platforms will be covered
The harmful content and design features the government wants platforms to address
What age verification means for access to pornography
Why VPNs and other workarounds make online safety harder
The early signs that some young Australians are sleeping better, playing more sport and seeing less online bullying
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“This is about introducing some basic safety standards to an industry that hasn’t had any.”
Anika Wells
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Australia’s under-16 social media legislation
The proposed Digital Duty of Care
eSafety Commissioner research and long-term studies
Australia’s online pornography age-verification laws
happyfamilies.com.au
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Talk with your kids about why these laws exist rather than making the conversation only about rules.
Keep an eye on the platforms, games and AI tools your children are using.
Pay attention to sleep, mood, sport, friendships and offline activities, not just screen-time minutes.
Use the law as a support when conversations about online safety become difficult.
Stay informed as the Digital Duty of Care develops.
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