Autism Dadcast

What happens when you die and your child doesn't understand death? What if they just think you walked away?
That's where this conversation ended up. It started with a story about a mum who overheard a dad talking about his autistic son and accused him of saying his life was harder than hers. It turned into something neither Gaz nor Andy were prepared for. Pre-recorded death videos. Whether your child needs to see your body. The arithmetic of outliving someone who might never understand why you're not there anymore.
They also talk about why parents of high-functioning autistic children are often fighting the system harder than anyone else, why dads stop telling their mates anything, and what happens when you've been in combat mode so long you can't switch it off.
Plus: the Guardian photoshoot, the London Marathon in two weeks, a game-changing app for SEND parents landing in the UK, and Sean ran another half marathon for fun.
0:00 — Back from Cyprus, the Guardian photoshoot4:23 — The pronoun conversation follow-up5:37 — The dad who stopped telling his mates7:21 — The mum who switched9:39 — The "top trumps" problem in the community13:47 — Luke's story: when your child can't live with you16:04 — What happens when I die?17:33 — The pre-recorded death video18:40 — Love on the Spectrum and the parents who can't grow old22:30 — Everyone's struggles are relative27:51 — The system was worse 30 years ago34:24 — The Discord and epic fails43:16 — The app that's going to change things45:29 — London Marathon and Ambitious About Autism50:22 — Why we're terrible at replying to messages
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#AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND

When your autistic child turns 18, you stop being their parent in the eyes of the law. You have to apply to the Court of Protection, pay £850, wait four months, and hope social services don't oppose it. If you don't, hospitals won't listen to you and you can't touch their bank account.
We didn't know this. Most parents of young autistic children don't. A petition hit the parliamentary website asking for it to be scrapped for families where a capacity assessment already confirms the child permanently lacks capacity. The government said no.
This week we also talk about Andy's relationship breaking down, what it's like becoming one of the statistics, and the growing pile of comments from people telling us we're doing this wrong. From "did you ask your daughter's permission" to "autism doesn't exist, it's just bad parenting" from a mainstream teacher. We read them out. We don't hold back.
Plus the London Marathon is three and a half weeks away. The furthest either of us has run is 5K. Sean has been smashing half marathons. We're in trouble.
🔑 Key moments:0:00 — We're back2:02 — Andy's relationship breakdown5:12 — The petition that stopped us scrolling5:38 — What happens when your autistic child turns 186:35 — Deputyship: what it costs and what happens if you don't apply9:05 — The government's response10:35 — London Marathon training (or lack of it)14:06 — £6,559 raised for Ambitions About Autism17:59 — The Cyprus autism half marathon28:26 — How we upset people (reform, pronouns, and profoundly autistic)40:03 — The pronoun comment43:14 — The Hidden 20% podcast backlash45:57 — "Did you ask your daughter's permission?"51:56 — "Classic autism parents making money off their children"53:47 — A teacher who says autism doesn't exist
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#AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND

If you've ever looked at your child mid-meltdown and thought "I can't do this anymore," this one's for you.In this episode, Gaz sits down with his wife Mish for a raw, unfiltered conversation about what life was really like from the moment Thomas was born. The traumatic birth. The baby who wouldn't latch, wouldn't calm, wouldn't make eye contact. The feeling of being nothing more than a feeding machine while every other mum seemed to have it figured out. The sleepless nights on a single bed downstairs. The marriage that quietly slid into housemate territory without either of them noticing.Mish talks openly about the moment she nearly got in the car and drove away. About sobbing for two weeks solid after accepting the diagnosis. About looking at Gaz and resenting him for not falling apart the way she was.But this episode isn't just the hard stuff. It's the story of how a picture of a car, a laminator, and principles borrowed from military dog training unlocked communication with their non-verbal son. How Thomas went from endless meltdowns to independently spelling words to tell his parents what he wanted. How that one breakthrough changed everything for the whole family.If you're a parent who feels like your child is trapped inside their own head, this might be the most important hour you spend this week.

🔑 Key moments:0:00 — Thomas's birth and the early signs9:25 — "Something isn't clicking" — Mish's gut feeling13:00 — The meltdowns and the marriage falling apart19:00 — The photo that made Gaz accept it22:00 — The diagnosis and the grief that followed30:26 — "I nearly drove away" — Mish's breaking point33:22 — Communication cards: where it all started41:40 — The moment Thomas brought them a picture46:50 — Thomas spells C-A-R on his bedroom floor57:44 — Mish's advice to parents who don't know where to startIf this episode helped, subscribe and leave a review. It helps other parents find us.#AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND

The government's SEND White Paper promises a better system. But what happens when the independent expert on your complaints panel gets outvoted by governors? We asked the Minister directly.Gaz and Andy sat down with Georgia Gould, Minister for Schools, inside the Department for Education to put the questions SEND families are actually asking. The tribunal gap. The complaints panel. The undefined "complex needs" threshold. The workforce that doesn't exist yet.She answered all of it — and some of her answers might surprise you.Key moments:2:10 — The tribunal gap: what parents can and can't challenge4:06 — The complaints panel: can the SEND expert be outvoted?7:05 — Why families still have to go back to their local authority11:02 — The 90% debt write-off: what are the conditions?16:11 — "Complex needs" isn't defined. Who decides?25:21 — The workforce problem: what if the specialists aren't there?This is the conversation the SEND community needed to happen. Whether you leave reassured or more concerned - you need to hear it.

Two SEND parents were inside the government meetings every week for months. Here's what they saw — and what they had to fight to change.
In this episode, Gaz and Andy sit down with Hayley and Aimee from SEND Sanctuary, who were part of the official SEND Improvement Group advising on the white paper. They break down what's actually in it, what nearly made it in that didn't, and why the bits that got quietly removed should worry every SEND family in England.

🔑 Key moments:
The appeal right that was nearly stripped — and how they got it put back
Why local authorities got off scot-free while schools carry the load
The Children and Wellbeing Bill that could force you to keep your child in a failing placement
The four-tier system explained by people who read it before you did
The backlash they faced from within the community for being in the room
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#AutismDadcast #SENDWhitePaper #SEND #Autism #SpecialEducationalNeeds #SENDReform #EHCPTribunal #Parenting #Neurodiversity #SENDParents