No Parental Guidance

This week on No Parental Guidance, Louise and Hannah are joined by the actual icon Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Pop star, kitchen disco queen, mum of five boys and proof that some people really can spin every plate without launching one directly at the wall.

We obviously have to talk about the Saltburn moment. Sophie reveals how she got an email back in 2022 asking to use her song Murder on the Dance Floor, thought it was lovely, signed it off, and then only found out much later exactly what kind of naked, chaotic, slightly sinister dancing was going to happen to it. The way she describes it is so funny and so alarming, and honestly, once you’ve heard it you can never listen to that track the same way again.

Sophie also gets properly real about the long game of parenting when you’ve got kids spanning nearly 15 years. She’s got one in his early 20s, two teens, and a youngest who’s just turned seven, and the dynamic is fascinating. She talks about the older sibling bond, how brothers tell each other things they will never tell you, and how weirdly emotional it can be watching relationships form in your house that have nothing to do with you.

There’s also a brilliant chat about how parenting trends have changed over the years, from naughty step culture to the era of “I see your anger”, plus the absolute noise of school WhatsApp groups and how everything now arrives at the same level of urgency. One minute it’s an email, the next it’s block capitals, and suddenly you’re spiralling because your mum hasn’t replied and you’re convinced she’s actually dead.

Then we get into identity and work, and Sophie is so refreshing about it. She talks about becoming a mum in her mid 20s and feeling like the world expected her to disappear into nappies and never be seen again. She opens up about how clunky it can feel at first, how the first baby knocked her sideways, and then how she actually found her flow the more kids she had. Including the casual reveal that she once recorded a vocal while feeding a baby, which is either iconic or witchcraft.

Before Sophie joins, Hannah and Louise are in full mum mode too. There’s a very honest rant about how most of parenting is just being asked to locate items from the third shelf down on the left. Plus the classic moment where your kid says “Mummy” and you brace for a crisis, sprint in like someone’s about to lose a limb, and they just want to show you their game score. Which somehow they interpret as you being thrilled, so they keep doing it forever.

Warm, hilarious, surprisingly emotional in places, and full of the kind of chaos that makes you feel less alone, this one is such a good listen.

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This week on No Parental Guidance, Louise and Hannah are back with another proper parenting therapy session, joined by Hilary Whitehall for a bonus episode that swings from absolute maternity ward chaos to the kind of advice you actually want to hear at 3 a.m.

It kicks off with a listener story so mad it sounds fake: they’d just given birth when the ceiling collapsed from the room above and they were stuck in the labour room for five hours while it was cleaned up. Hilary talks through how she’d handle it as a doula, and why sometimes all you can do is stay calm, focus on the baby, and use humour because you literally cannot fix the chaos around you.

From there it turns into a very real chat about being in the trenches. Half term dread, kids needing to be “run like dogs”, and how to survive a week off without losing your mind. Hilary shares genuinely useful ideas that don’t require you to be a Pinterest mum, plus a couple of low-effort wins like water painting with a brush and a bucket that keeps them busy without destroying your house.

There’s also a relatable detour into teenage boys and food, the snack hiding places they always find, and the way grown-up kids still walk into your house and go straight to the fridge like they own the place.

But the heart of the episode is Hilary’s advice for exhausted mums who feel like it’s never-ending. Her message is simple, comforting, and honestly a bit emotional: you are doing a great job, make a cup of tea, take a breath, ask for help, and aim to be a “good enough mother” not some impossible perfect version. There’s also a brilliant chat about taking guilt out of breastfeeding and why a flourishing baby matters more than anyone’s opinions.

Warm, funny, and properly reassuring. This is the one you’ll want to send to a mate who’s just had a baby and is spiralling at night.
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This week on No Parental Guidance, Louise and Hannah are joined by Hilary Whitehall actress, podcaster, former doula, long-time wife of Michael, mum to Jack, Molly and Barnaby and now a grandmother with another grandchild on the way!

Hilary is absolutely hilarious and delivers one of the most jaw-dropping birth stories we’ve ever heard, involving a very famous godfather, a hospital mix-up and black tie attire. Honestly, you couldn’t write it!

Hilary also opens up about her decade working as a doula and what new mums really need in those first overwhelming weeks, from building confidence to cutting through guilt and panic. Plus, she talks about becoming a grandmother and why looking after someone else’s kids hits differently... especially when scooters are involved.

And just when you think it can’t get any wilder, Hilary shares one of her worst parenting moments: accidentally running over her toddler in France and the horrifying second where she thought she’d killed him.

Before Hilary joins, Hannah and Louise are in full chaos mode. Hannah forgets an inset day and sends her son to a locked school, then her daughter gets hold of her phone and accidentally messages the entire class WhatsApp. Louise shares a post-op Christmas horror story featuring a catheter, a night bag, and a husband who trips, falls, and sets off total mayhem in the middle of the night. There’s also a very honest chat about kids growing up and the moment the awkward questions start coming thick and fast, plus Hilary’s take on raising polite kids, being a “bossy grandmother”, and the slightly genius trick she used to get her kids to bed early.
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How much do you really know about what happens in the delivery suite? Louise and Hannah put parents-to-be Sam and Alice to the test with a quick-fire “Parent Prep Check", and it instantly descends into hilarious chaos. From the dreaded question “what is the plug?” (spoiler: it’s not a bath plug…) to crowning, meconium, and the mysterious fishing net in the midwife’s suite; the quiz is equal parts educational and unhinged.

There’s plenty of “why did nobody tell me this?” parenting reality too: the waxy newborn coating (vernix) and why it matters, the bodily surprises babies can arrive with, and the kind of facts that make you laugh and squirm at the same time. Sam’s book-reading finally pays off… while Alice realises she might want to revise.

If you’re pregnant, trying for a baby, or just love a brutally honest parenting chat, this bonus ep is a perfect bite-sized watch - ridiculous, real, and somehow genuinely useful.
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This week on No Parental Guidance, Louise and Hannah are joined by Sam and Alice Vanderpump - reality TV meets real-life parenting prep as the couple open up about expecting their first baby (a boy!) and what they’re actually feeling at 35 weeks pregnant.

Sam and Alice talk morning sickness that’s never really left, multiple hospital visits, and the reality of going into parenthood with “no idea what’s coming.” They share the story behind their baby name Marmaduke - including the emotional family reason it means so much, and laugh through the chaos of being last-minute parents-to-be (hospital bags un-packed… and somehow the plan still includes white silk pyjamas).

But it’s not all jokes: Sam speaks openly about being on the liver transplant waiting list, and the conversation turns into a powerful and very important message about organ donation, and why telling your family your wishes matters more than people realise.

Before Sam and Alice join, Hannah and Louise are deep in the trenches: Hannah arrives running on fumes after a brutal night of toddler vomiting (eight towels later…), and Louise confesses a truly elite packed-lunch fail after discovering that chutney and strawberry jam look identical when you’re moving too fast.

Hilarious, honest, and unexpectedly moving; this episode is for anyone who’s ever been exhausted, overwhelmed, and trying to laugh through the chaos... join us.

NHS Organ Donation - official UK organ donation website:

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/

Register your decision on the NHS Organ Donor Register:

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/register-your-decision/

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