Field Notes

Last week I tried going ultra-processed-food-free.

I lasted one day.

Then I got violently ill.

Was it the chicken?
Was it soft play?
Was it karma for mocking chopping-board influencers?

Unclear.

This week is Take 2.

Because the real question isn’t “Is processed food bad?”

It’s:

How on earth are we supposed to avoid it if we can’t cook and don’t have a private chef?

In this episode we discuss:

My catastrophic attempt at roasting a chicken
Why I owe chopping-board people an apology
Cottage cheese and berries (I’m still not convinced)
The alarming bacteria situation on cutting boards
The new M&S “UPF-free” range
Why modern health advice quietly assumes unlimited time
Whether there’s a realistic middle ground between crisps and grinding your own flour

I’m trialling:

The single-ingredient chopping board approach
The M&S UPF-free range
And whatever I can manage without poisoning myself again

I’ll report back properly in Friday’s Field Report.

If you have:

Healthy ready meal recommendations
Low-effort meal hacks
Or thoughts on whether I’ve lost the plot

Tell me.

📲 DM me on Instagram:
@rosehoneymorgan
@field.notes.pod

I read them. I respond. I occasionally take your advice.

Private chef reel link : https://www.instagram.com/reel/CteX-QfMvkD/?igsh=cjR4bzNlOHM2eGU3

⭐ If you enjoyed this episode:

Follow the show, leave a review, or send it to a friend who owns a chopping board but still eats waffles daily.
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This week’s update is… brief.

After confidently declaring I would attempt a week of ultra-processed-food-free living, I made it:

👉 One day.

And now I am recording this hunched over a sick bowl in what can only be described as the pink fluffy gown of shame.

Is it norovirus?
Is it food poisoning?
Is it my body rebelling against actual vegetables?

We do not yet know.

What we do know:
• Cooking is dangerous
• My stomach muscles are shot
• The commitment to this podcast remains intact

Full debrief on Monday — assuming I survive.

—

📚 Join “Actually Trying” for the proper breakdowns (when I’m upright again): https://rosehoneymorgan.substack.com/freetrial

📲 Follow along for live chaos:
@rosehoneymorgan
@field.notes.pod

Like. Subscribe. Send electrolytes.
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This week on Field Notes, we enter the land of: Ultra-Processed Food.

According to certain very serious doctors on the internet, UPFs are now:

“The leading cause of early death on planet earth. Ahead of tobacco.”

Cool.

Not dramatic at all.

So naturally, I’ve decided to test whether cutting them out for a week will:

Improve my migraines
Reduce my exhaustion
Fix my yo-yo weight history
Or simply make me feral and resentful

Because unfortunately… most of the things listed as “ultra-processed” are the things I actually eat.

🥪 In This Episode We Discuss:

What actually counts as Ultra-Processed Food (and how inconsistent the definitions are)
The claim that UPFs are worse than tobacco
The inflammation / microbiome argument
The counter-argument from registered dietitians
Whether the research is observational or causal
Food anxiety vs legitimate health concern
My chaotic personal diet
Growing up on enforced raw spinach
Cheese-based GCSE breakdowns
Yo-yo weight cycles and hyper-palatable food
Ozempic changing the household food dynamic
Whether non-UPF eating is realistic with children
Why I eat like a 19-year-old boy with a student loan
And whether “whole foods” are actually practical in real life

🍽 Personal Context (Aka Why This Is a Problem)

My current diet includes:

Fistfuls of turkey
Salt & vinegar crisps
Tuna pasta
Mushroom coffee
Minimal fruit
Suspiciously little fibre

Meanwhile the internet is telling me my gut lining is dissolving and my liver is weeping.

So this week I attempt to go:

👉 UPF-Free (or as close as I can manage)

And we’ll see whether:

My energy changes
My migraines shift
My mood improves
Or whether I simply miss crisps

🧠 Bigger Questions

Are we pathologising modern food?
Is this another wellness panic?
Or is the hyper-palatable environment genuinely wrecking us?
Can a busy parent realistically cook everything from scratch?
And why does cutting processed food feel so emotionally loaded?

👵 Guru & Granny Returns

This week’s dilemma:

“I’ve narrowed it down to three husband contenders. How do I choose?”

Featuring:

The Strong Stomach Theory™
The Chap Olympiad
Escape room testing
Vomit resilience
And a brief detour into secret families

You’re welcome.

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Join the book club / self-improvement group chat over on Substack.

This month:
👉 Atomic Habits by James Clear

You’ll get:

Weekly practical breakdowns
Private podcast episodes
Cheat sheets
Knowledge topics
And a place to collectively sort ourselves out

Join here:
https://rosehoneymorgan.substack.com/subscribe

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📲 Follow & Share

Follow on Instagram:
@rosehoneymorgan
@field.notes.pod

Share this episode with someone who:

Owns at least three types of oat milk
Is suspicious of emulsifiers
Or eats crisps in the car and calls it “lunch”

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This week’s Field Report is the follow-up on vagus nerve regulation, still-face parenting, and trying to soothe our fried nervous systems.

I tested the homework:

Ice water dunk.
Breath work.
Humming (unfortunately, in public).

Links Mentioned

Vagus nerve stimulation device - https://shorturl.at/Q0YQQ
Breath work app - https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/breathwrk-breathing-exercises/id1481804500
Gospel Sunday Service Choir track - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qre8LJVd3o (wait for SIA to come out and sing with them, it gets me every time. Also look up 'sunday service choir' on youtube or spotify and enjoy the full album. I love 'rain' and 'father stretch' the most.

📚 Join “Actually Trying”
Private podcast episodes, book breakdowns, and practical self-improvement without becoming unbearable.
https://rosehoneymorgan.substack.com/subscribe

Follow on Instagram:
@rosehoneymorgan
@field.notes.pod

New episodes every Monday (deep dive) and Friday (Field Report).

In this episode we discuss:

Full head ice dunk attempts (and whether they calm you down or just make you feel mildly feral)
Why breath work felt surprisingly effective
The school gate humming incident
The still-face experiment and why scrolling in front of your kids hits differently
Why regulation starts in the body, not the brain
Whether overthinking (and over-ChatGPT-ing) makes stress worse
The new vagus nerve stimulation device you can clip to your ear
The gospel choir soundtrack that fuelled my public “moment”
Why humans used to regulate naturally (and now need calendar reminders to breathe)

💀 Fail of the Week

Public humming.
Misread eye contact.
A minor wellbeing check from one of the two hot dads.

We move.

💡 Find of the Week

Regulation is physical.

You cannot reason your way out of stress when your heart is racing.

Long exhales > spiralling thoughts.
Unclench your jaw > rewrite your narrative.
Body first. Brain second.

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Vagus Nerve Tips, Stress & Still Face Parenting

This week I force you to join in with whatever the mad reels tell us to do - so concentrate.

My algorithm is obsessed with vagus nerve regulation: calm your nervous system, soothe your vagal tone, stop being on edge, stop snapping, stop doom-scrolling and just… relax.

So naturally, I decided to look into it.

In this episode I unpack why modern life feels so dysregulating, why scrolling feels calming but actually isn’t, and whether humming, cold water, jaw unclenching and breathing like an ancient human might help — or whether we’ve officially lost the plot.

You may need to unclench your teeth while listening.

🧠 What We Cover

• Why “just calm down” doesn’t work
• The Still Face experiment — and why blank-facing kids backfires
• What the vagus nerve actually does (without wellness nonsense)
• Why your body has to feel safe before your brain can think
• The most common vagus nerve tips from Instagram
• Which ones felt useful, which felt weird, and which I’ll actually keep

🧪 The Internet Advice I Tested

Including:
• Humming & singing
• Breathing out longer than in
• Jaw and tongue relaxation
• Cold water on the face
• Slow movement instead of checking out

No ice baths. No candles. No pretending we live in a monastery.

🏺 Have We Lost the Plot?

Probably not.

Humans have always regulated themselves through:
• movement
• rhythm
• cold exposure
• shared calm

We just used to do it naturally — now we have to remember.

🔁 Field Report Coming Friday

I’ll report back on whether any of this helped in real life, or whether it joined the long list of things that sounded promising and didn’t survive a weekday.

📚 JOIN “ACTUALLY TRYING”

If you want help actually applying this stuff (without becoming insufferable):

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This month’s book:
Atomic Habits – James Clear

You’ll get:
• Weekly breakdowns you can actually use
• Private podcast episodes
• Cheat sheets & summaries
• Anti-brain-rot knowledge topics

You can also join free for the notes via email.

📲 STAY IN THE GROUP CHAT

Follow along on Instagram:
• @rosehoneymorgan
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And come back Friday for the field report.
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