How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

This episode with Mo Gawdat originally went out in 2019, but its message feels as relevant as ever. We’re re-releasing it to celebrate the 500th episode of How to Fail.

Just occasionally, you meet someone who changes the way you think about the world. That’s what happened when Elizabeth met Mo Gawdat, former Chief Business Officer at Google X, who spent years trying to solve a problem that seemed impossible to quantify: how can one individual be happy?

After 12 years of research, Gawdat developed an algorithm for happiness: happiness is greater than or equal to your perception of the events in your life, minus your expectations of how life should be. He wrote about it in his international bestseller Solve for Happy.

But that algorithm was put to the ultimate test when his beloved 21-year-old son, Ali, died in tragic circumstances. Mo joins me to talk about grief and depression, happiness as a form of fitness, coping with break-ups, the isolating effects of social media, why life is like a computer game, the illusion of time - and why we should always be polite to Siri.

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Intro

03:23 Success Yet Depressed

06:14 Chasing Stuff for Joy

07:22 Engineering Happiness Reset

11:37 Six Modern Illusions

15:17 Happiness as Equation

20:35 Taming Your Inner Voice

28:51 Useful vs Joyful Thoughts

29:55 Grief Without Suffering

31:02 Ali Lived Reframing

32:47 Life as a Video Game

35:02 Halo Lessons on Purpose

40:13 Preventable Death and Resentment

45:09 Tech Promise and AI Risk

55:26 1 Billion Happy Mission

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

WANT MORE?

Mo Gawdat’s episode from 2025 -

Dr Gabor Maté -

LOVE THIS EPISODE?

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Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To mark 500 episodes of How to Fail! To we’re re-releasing the first ever episode with Phoebe Waller Bridge, which originally went out in July 2018.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge, creator and star of Fleabag, writer of Killing Eve, superstar feminist and human embodiment of a Star Wars droid, joins How To Fail to talk about how she failed at her 20s (but got lots of brilliant material from the terrible dates she endured), failing at drama school, terrible auditions (including one for Downton Abbey) and how her female best friend is quite possibly the love of her life.

She also talks about emotional vulnerability, why women fail at anger and about finding glory in one’s mistakes. There’s a great exchange about whether women should be open about whether or not they want children and a whole segue into the desirability of alabaster foreheads. Oh, and we cover the time Phoebe met Meryl Streep and embarrassed herself horribly, in what might be one of the greatest celebrity anecdotes of all time involving apple crumble.

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

02:04 Sudden Fame Reality

04:33 RADA And Early Rejection

07:50 Emotional Acting Truth

08:41 Love Life Failures

13:14 Fleabag And Female Voice

18:05 Auditions Power And Ambition

25:37 Creative Lifeline Friendship

26:21 How They Met Vicky

27:40 Muses Not Mistresses

29:15 Women And Anger

30:55 Female Killers Fascination

33:20 The Babies Question

40:54 Feminism And Body Image

44:40 Celebrity Encounters Finale

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

WANT MORE?

Dolly Alderton - swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR

Miranda Hart - swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu

LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mel Giedroyc is a comedian, writer and TV presenter who has been entertaining the nation for over 30 years.

Hired in 1996 as a writer for French and Saunders (alongside best friend Sue Perkins), Mel’s career took off and she went on to co-present hit Channel 4 series Light Lunch and Late Lunch, and then the Great British Bake Off.

Since then, Giedoryc has written a Sunday Times bestselling novel and fronts the podcast, Where There’s A Will There’s A Wake. Now she returns with a new book, The Comeback, a funny, big-hearted novel about second chances set in a community.

In this hilarious and moving episode, we talk about how she feels she is always ‘getting away with it’, life post-Bake Off, having children, not making it to her mother’s deathbed due to a big night out, and the recurring nightmare that she has never been able to shake…

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

02:55 Getting Away With It

05:43 Bake Off

08:43 Life After Bake Off

09:45 The Comeback Novel

10:21 Theatre And Family Roots

17:18 Cambridge Degree Disaster

28:49 Mums Deathbed Regret

30:46 Strokes And Stolen Years

32:05 Boozy Night Missed Call

36:10 Work As Grief Shelter

39:36 Remembering Rosemary

43:50 VHS Shame Spiral

52:00 Goodbyes And Final Thoughts

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Listen to Mel’s podcast, Where There’s A Will There’s A Wake here: swap.fm/l/ZuaKfvomuCzS7P3cLJzx and watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@WhereTheresAWillTheresAWake

The Comeback is available to pre-order now: www.hachette.co.uk/titles/mel-giedroyc/the-comeback/9781472256263/

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

WANT MORE?

Miranda Hart - swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu

Celeste Barber - swap.fm/l/qLmwfjyeSolWuFeaHGdt

Stephen Merchant - swap.fm/l/Lta5mlFbVnPHyFb8R1n2

LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan and Jen Mistri

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Andy Burnham is the first Prime Minister on How to Fail. Past leaders have run scared of doing a podcast with ‘fail’ in the title - but not this one. As he says in this conversation: ‘if you’ve not succeeded, you have to understand why it happened, and what you’re going to do about it.’ Wise words from a global leader.

Burnham is now our 7th Prime Minister in 10 years, having won a decisive by-election in Makerfield and having received nominations from 94% of Labour MPs in an unopposed leadership contest.

In this exclusive episode, recorded at No. 10 North, Andy talks about growing up, how his Catholic faith has shaped his outlook (and whether or not he snuck some communion wine as an altar boy). Plus: imposter syndrome, what he learned from his past failed leadership bids, friendships within politics, how his wife responded to his desire to run for PM, the meaning of ‘home’ and whether or not his dad, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, knows his son has become Prime Minister.

A must-listen, even if we do say so ourselves.

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

03:12 Imposter Syndrome and Authenticity

06:13 Faith and Catholic Roots

08:32 English Degree and Power of Words

10:19 Failed Leadership Bids

16:50 Politics Friendships and Family

21:07 Post Cambridge Job Hunt

25:06 What Home Means

26:26 Hillsborough and Two Britains

27:36 Number 10 North Vision

28:43 Building Safety and Hope

32:49 Radical Yet Sensible Politics

35:35 Fixing Social Care

38:16 Roy and Alzheimer’s

43:10 Faith Power and Farewell

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

WANT MORE?

Ed Miliband - swap.fm/l/YTnZMo8h78DZNf7ZmKnF

Sadiq Khan - swap.fm/l/FcuzDh396Ul76Sc46KRb

Jess Phillips - swap.fm/l/EHHLbfGCH6oBDbOaMhbX

LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan and Jen Mistri

Sound Engineer: Ed Gill

DOP: Keith Gubbins

Assistant Camera Op: Charlie Painter

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Before becoming a No. 1 New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most widely read poets on Instagram, Nikita worked as a cleaner and carer while sharing her poetry online. She moved from New Delhi to Britain in her early twenties to study for a master's degree at the University for the Creative Arts, and felt she ‘disappointed’ her parents and faced repeated rejection and misogyny in the process.

In this episode, she tells Elizabeth about her unusual childhood at sea, growing up in places marked by contested borders, where bomb scares at school felt routine, and the many obstacles she faced throughout her career. She also reflects on the power of poetry to connect us, why myths still resonate today and how writing became both a form of resistance and survival.

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

03:10 Archivist Heart

04:33 Unheard Voices

07:10 Borders Bomb Scares

09:49 Childhood

11:30 Mythical Power

13:52 Rejection To Breakthrough

25:51 Success Highs and Lows

26:31 Rejection as Return

27:45 Dating and Being Returned

28:11 BuzzFeed Fame Backlash

33:36 Shame and Misogyny Online

34:51 Surviving Internet Pile Ons

39:16 Chronic Pain Finally Named

48:34 Family Grief and Goodbye

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Nikita’s new book, Styx: The River is out this Autumn: www.simonandschuster.co.uk/books/Styx-The-River/Nikita-Gill/9781398537194

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

WANT MORE?

Michael Rosen - swap.fm/l/TCjvDZaxrZsq4iZRCccm

LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Elizabeth and Nikita answer listener questions in our subscriber series: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices