Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Let us begin again, for until now we have done nothing," - Saint Francis of Assisi
Summary
As a new year begins, many of us focus on where we fell short instead of how we've grown. In this episode, Mike and Alicia invite parents and couples to reflect on the past year by celebrating the gains—not just the gaps—and to recognize the common traps that keep us stuck, like doing too much, being too busy, comparing ourselves to others, or letting our loves get out of order. From there, they share five foundational ways to begin again and make this year better—not perfect, but better: growing in your relationship with God, becoming more fully who God made you to be, investing intentionally in your marriage, being present and purposeful with your children, and choosing real community. You don't have to plan everything—just put the big rocks in place and start again together. 
 
Key Takeaways
Start Right Now: Commit to Growing in Your Relationship with God Commit to Becoming More Fully Yourself Invest in Your Marriage—Starting With Yourself Be Intentional With Your Children Choose Community

 
Couple Discussion Questions
How can we "begin again" together

Which of these take aways are most impactful for us?

Summary
This episode revisits one of the most helpful and down-to-earth conversations on the Messy Family Podcast: Family Board Meeting 2.0. It starts with a simple but challenging idea. We put a lot of thought into our jobs, but when it comes to family life, many of us are just trying to keep up. Between work, kids' schedules, and everyday stress, it's easy to drift into survival mode. A Family Board Meeting is a chance to pause, breathe, and get back on the same page. It's not about being perfect or fixing everything. It's about choosing to lead your family with intention. The episode walks through why these meetings matter, how to keep them practical, and how to avoid turning them into a blame-filled marathon. You'll hear encouragement to dream a little, pick a few priorities, write them down, and actually enjoy the process. Think unity, clarity, and maybe even dinner and a glass of wine along the way.
Key Takeaways
Intentional families don't happen by accident. A Family Board Meeting is about choosing the important over the merely urgent.
The goal is unity, not perfection. Unity is essential for your children and for your own personal growth.
Dream big, plan simple, act now. You can't do everything. That's okay. Choose the top two or three areas that really matter right now.
Failure is part of the process—and that's normal.  Fail fast, refine, and keep moving forward.
Make it human—and even fun.  You're building a life together, not just a to-do list.
Couple Discussion Questions
When can we have these intentional conversations?  Should we do a FBM course? 
Get the course here:  https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/family-board-meeting/
Get your free guide here: https://messyfamilyproject.org/guide/family-board-meeting-guide/

Summary
What's it really like growing up in a big family?
 
In this special Hernon kids takeover podcast, Mike and Alicia's children gather around the mic to tell the honest, funny, and heartfelt story of their upbringing. From loud dinner tables and sibling fights to deep bonds, meaningful traditions, and moments of feeling unseen, the Hernon siblings share what shaped them—for better and for worse.
 
They talk openly about the challenges of a large family, how sibling relationships filled the gaps when parents were stretched thin, and why intentional traditions mattered more than perfection. Along the way, they relive unforgettable childhood stories (including melted crayons, camping disasters, and a legendary vomiting incident), reflect on personality differences, and offer wisdom for parents raising kids today.
 
This episode is a gift to parents wondering if they're "doing enough"—and a reminder that love multiplies, even when life is messy.
 
Key Takeways:
1. Big Families Are Hard—And That's Not a Bad Thing
Most of the siblings admitted they didn't always love growing up in a large family—especially as teenagers. But looking back, they see how it built character, resilience, and lifelong relationships.
2. Parents Won't Always Get It Perfect
Several siblings shared moments when they felt overlooked or unseen. Yet the overwhelming takeaway was this: they knew they were loved, even when time and energy were limited.
3. Siblings Matter More Than We Realize
In a big family, siblings often become secondary parents, confidants, and companions. Those relationships became one of the greatest gifts of their upbringing.
4. Traditions Shape Identity
From Christmas breakfasts and dinner games to family retreats and service visits, traditions created a shared story and sense of belonging that lasted into adulthood.
5. Conflict Isn't Failure—It's Formation
Fighting, disagreements, and personality clashes were part of the family culture. Learning forgiveness, conflict resolution, and reconciliation turned those struggles into growth.
6. Intentionality Beats Perfection
What stood out most wasn't flawless parenting—but parents who cared, listened, showed interest, and tried to be present whenever possible.
 
Couple Discussion Questions:


How do sibling relationships function in your family right now? How might you help strengthen them?

How do you currently handle conflict in your home—and what might forgiveness look like more intentionally?

What kind of family culture do you hope your children will talk about someday?

Your decisions may not always be perfect, but you can choose to make them together.
 
Summary
In this week's podcast, we dive into one of the most important truths for married couples: you will never make a perfect decision—but you can choose unity. Today's culture urges us to optimize everything with hacks, experts, and AI, yet the real power in family life comes from spouses acting together. We share our own stories of big decisions—moves, career changes, even grad school—and how waiting for unity brought peace and strength to our home.
Join us as we unpack how to stay united: understanding each other's processing style, praying together, deferring in love, and avoiding the trap of needing to win. Your decisions may never be perfect—but they can always be made together. Tune in and strengthen the unity that makes your family thrive!

"Hospitality and real community starts by inviting people into your messy home…"
 
Summary
In this episode, Mike and Alicia sit down with best-selling Catholic author Emily Stimpson Chapman to talk about Advent, Storybook for young Catholics, and the beauty of simple hospitality. Emily shares the real, lived rhythms of Advent in her home—reminding parents that peace and prayerfulness grow best when traditions are tied to everyday routines and kept flexible, not burdensome.
 
Emily also introduces her newest work, The Story of All Stories, a beautifully crafted children's story Bible from Word on Fire that presents salvation history as one unified narrative. Although written for ages 7–13, it has already captivated teens, parents, and grandparents alike.
 
Finally, the conversation turns to hospitality—how ordinary families can open their homes joyfully, even amid noise, chaos, and little ones. Emily offers practical tips, simple meal ideas, and a vision for welcoming others that prioritizes connection over perfection.
 
Key Takeaways
Advent traditions work best when tied to existing family routines—like dinner—rather than starting from scratch.

Flexibility in traditions preserves peace and allows your family to embrace the joy of the season without stress.

Hospitality doesn't require perfection—simple meals and genuine presence build true community.

Opening your home combats loneliness and helps families live their mission together.

 
Couple Discussion Questions
What Advent traditions have been life-giving for our family—and which ones cause unnecessary stress?

How could we anchor Advent prayer or traditions more naturally into our existing daily routine?

In what ways do we tell the story of salvation to our children? Is there room to deepen our approach?

When we think about hospitality, what holds us back most—perfectionism, time, or fear?

Who is one person or family we could invite over in the next two weeks for a simple, joy-filled meal?