Be a Happier Parent

• Ep 20: How to be a Great Husband with Brian Page

  Check out Modern Husbands https://www.modernhusbands.com/ Follow me on Instagram and TikTok and check out videos of these eps on Youtube @alexindadland Keywords household roles, domestic labor, marital satisfaction, Fair Play system, emotional labor, financial conversations, parenting, money values, relationship dynamics, pandemic impact Summary In this conversation, Brian Page discusses the evolving roles of men and women in household management, particularly in the context of the pandemic. He emphasizes the benefits of shared domestic labor, including increased marital satisfaction and personal happiness for men. The discussion also covers the Fair Play system, which aims to create efficiency in household tasks, and the emotional dynamics that arise from managing a home. Additionally, the conversation touches on the importance of financial discussions in relationships and how to teach children about money and values. Takeaways Shared household labor leads to greater marital satisfaction. Men report higher personal happiness when involved in domestic tasks. Being a domestic safety net allows for authentic self-expression. Understanding emotional labor is crucial for efficient household management. The Fair Play system promotes equitable task ownership in homes. Financial discussions should happen when emotions are low for clarity. Teaching children about money can shape their values and character. Regular money dates can help couples manage finances better. Appreciation for each other's contributions is vital in relationships. Navigating household roles requires open communication and empathy. Titles Redefining Masculinity in Domestic Spaces The Joy of Shared Household Responsibilities Sound bites "You can't weaponize this either." "Use money to shape who they are." "Always start with the good stuff." Chapters 00:00 Embracing Change: The Empty Nester Transition 03:34 The Birth of Modern Husbands: A Personal Journey 06:01 The Benefits of Shared Household Responsibilities 08:06 Understanding Domestic Labor: Mental Load and Efficiency 10:44 Navigating Societal Expectations: The Financial Provider Dilemma 12:52 Fair Play: A System for Equitable Household Management 15:42 Emotional Labor and Relationship Dynamics 17:56 The Importance of Appreciation in Relationships 20:51 Negotiating Household Standards: Finding Common Ground 23:33 The Evolving Role of Men in Domestic Spaces 32:03 Navigating the Messy World of Caregiving 34:20 Balancing Relationships and Parenting 36:31 Practical Tips for Couples with Young Kids 38:07 Understanding Perpetual Arguments in Relationships 43:32 The Economics of Caregiving and Financial Decisions 53:33 Learning Through Conflict and Money Conversations

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• Ep 19: Can We Build Resilience? With Tim Curtis

  You can find additional resources from Tim here: https://resilienceshield.com/ Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent Full videos of the episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords resilience, parenting, adversity, children, self-leadership, technology, community, struggle, mental health, emotional intelligence Summary In this conversation, Tim Curtis shares his insights on resilience, particularly in children, drawing from his experiences in the SAS and his work in teaching resilience. He emphasizes the importance of adversity in building resilience, the role of struggle in achieving happiness, and the need for children to engage in free play and face risks to develop agency and problem-solving skills. Curtis also discusses the impact of technology on children's mental health and the importance of trust and communication in parenting. Takeaways Resilience is built through adversity and stress. Children need to experience some stress to develop resilience. Allowing children to sit in their emotions is crucial for self-awareness. Struggle is essential for true happiness and growth. Boredom can lead to creativity and self-leadership in children. Community and free play are vital for children's development. Technology can impair resilience if not monitored properly. Trusting children to navigate risks fosters independence. Parents should model vulnerability and risk-taking for their children. Building a supportive community can enhance parenting and child development. Titles Building Resilient Kids: Insights from an SAS Veteran The Importance of Adversity in Child Development Sound bites "Resilience needs stress to be built." "With risk comes opportunity." "You can't just strip out the risk." Chapters 00:00 From Soldier to Advocate for Children 06:29 The Link Between Resilience and Morality 06:42 Understanding Resilience: Definitions and Components 11:28 Resilience: A Dynamic and Modifiable Concept 16:07 The Necessity of Adversity in Building Resilience 20:24 Happiness Through Struggle vs. Comfort 24:27 Harnessing Synthetic Happiness for Better Outcomes 25:03 Navigating Happiness: Synthetic vs. Enduring Joy 26:05 The Importance of Boredom and Self-Leadership 28:40 Challenging Negativity Bias in Parenting 29:53 The Role of Free Play in Child Development 34:23 Understanding Screen Time and Its Impact 42:50 Lessons from Parenting: Embracing Individuality 46:20 Finding Alternatives to Team Sports 47:56 The Power of Communal Parenting 51:42 Risk, Opportunity, and Resilience in Parenting

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• Ep 18: Trauma, Healing and Change with Ben May

  You can find the New Normal Charity @tnncharity on Instagram. Website: https://www.thenewnormalcharity.org/ Ben also coaches men on developing empathy and changing the way they think, behave and react both in work and life. You can find him on Instagram @ldn_brbr or email [email protected] Please follow me on Instagram or TikTok @beahappierparent. Full videos of the episodes are available on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords grief, trauma, identity, loss, support, relationships, parenthood, mental health, healing, self-discovery Summary In this conversation, Alex Trippier and Ben discuss the complexities of grief, trauma, and identity. They explore how personal experiences shape our understanding of loss and the importance of shared experiences in healing. Ben shares his journey through grief after losing his father and how it impacted his relationships and behavior. They also touch on the gendered responses to grief and the societal expectations placed on men. The discussion emphasizes the need for open communication and support in navigating grief and the ongoing journey of self-discovery and change. Takeaways Grief is a unique experience for everyone. Time does not erase the pain of loss. Shared experiences can foster connection and understanding. Men often struggle to express their emotions. Parenthood can change one's perspective on grief. Trauma can shape our identities and behaviors. It's important to seek support during difficult times. Understanding different types of loss is crucial. Communication is key in relationships affected by grief. Self-discovery is an ongoing journey influenced by our past. Titles Navigating the Complexities of Grief The Impact of Trauma on Identity Sound bites "I just want to feel normal again." "Grief is a confusing thing." "Men don't speak about things." Chapters 00:00 Understanding Grief and the New Normal 37:30 The Scotch Egg Theory of Grief 46:12 The Complexity of Loss and Relationships 49:11 Gender Differences in Grief Responses 51:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery in Fatherhood 56:35 Understanding Addiction and Masculinity 01:01:19 Parenting and Personal Growth

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• Ep 17: What Happens When Dads are Put in Charge? With Dr Marte Bergan

  Check out Marte’s full thesis here: https://ora.ox.ac.uk/objects/uuid:800e3289-08ad-449f-a00d-f5da87f1100d You help make some similar changes to our parental leave system by getting involved with The Dad Shift www.dadshift.org.uk Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent   Keywords gender equality, Norway, parental leave, daddy quota, family dynamics, cultural values, work-life balance, childcare, feminism, societal norms Summary In this conversation, Marte discusses the cultural and governmental factors that have shaped gender equality in Norway, particularly in relation to parental leave policies and the daddy quota. The discussion explores the evolving roles of fathers in childcare, the dynamics of resentment in relationships, and the long-term impacts of these policies on family life. Marte emphasizes the importance of shared responsibilities and the need for societal change to foster a more egalitarian approach to parenting and work-life balance. Takeaways Gender equality is deeply embedded in Norwegian culture. Government policies have played a crucial role in promoting gender equality. The daddy quota encourages fathers to take an active role in childcare. Cultural values in Norway prioritize family time and work-life balance. Mothers often retain the managerial role in family dynamics. Resentment can arise from unequal distribution of parenting responsibilities. Parental leave policies impact long-term family relationships. Fathers in Norway are seen as experts in childcare due to their involvement. The corporate culture in Norway supports flexible working hours for both parents. Societal norms need to evolve to support shared parenting responsibilities. Titles Exploring Gender Equality in Norway The Impact of the Daddy Quota Sound bites "It's in our national DNA." "We value family time." "It's use it or lose it." Chapters 00:00 Cultural Foundations of Parenthood 04:03 The Daddy Quota: A Game Changer 06:55 Work-Life Balance in Norway vs. the UK 08:37 The Impact of Gender Roles on Parenting 11:06 Men's Perspectives on Parenting and Work 13:35 Long-Term Effects of Parental Leave Policies 16:09 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities 19:03 Conclusions and Future Directions 31:42 Work-Life Balance in Norway vs. the UK 34:45 Resentment in Parenting Roles 36:51 Judgment and Gender Expectations 40:53 Redefining Parenting Roles 45:56 The Manager vs. Expert Dynamic 49:57 Cultural Shifts in Parenting 52:43 The System of Gendered Parenting

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• Ep 16: How Not to Hate Your Partner with Jancee Dunn

  Find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent Summary In this conversation, Jancee Dunn shares her experiences navigating the complexities of marriage and parenthood, highlighting the unexpected challenges that arise when transitioning into parenthood. She discusses the importance of communication, the impact of societal expectations on relationships, and the necessity of seeking help through couples therapy. Dunn emphasizes the need for clarity in roles and responsibilities, as well as the importance of reconnecting with one's partner after having children. The conversation also touches on the challenges of maintaining intimacy and the emotional toll of parenting on relationships. Chapters 00:00 Communication Breakdown in Relationships 07:42 The Asymmetry of Communication Between Genders 10:21 Understanding Stonewalling and Its Effects 16:19 The Role of Empathy in Conflict Resolution 18:14 Seeking Help: The Journey to Therapy 24:30 Terry Real's Tough Love Approach 30:39 The Impact of Parental Conflict on Children 32:20 Breaking the Cycle of Anger 33:13 Understanding Communication in Relationships 33:58 Reconnecting as Partners 34:53 Navigating the Transition to Empty Nest 35:48 Establishing Systems for Relationship Health 37:30 The Importance of Date Nights 38:56 Mindfulness in Parenting and Relationships 42:51 The Impact of Sensuality on Intimacy 43:49 The Work Behind a Healthy Sex Life 47:51 Resentment and Connection in Relationships 51:29 Preparing for Parenthood 53:31 The Division of Labor in Parenting 56:03 Negotiation and Clarity in Relationships 56:53 The Power Imbalance in Relationships Keywords parenthood, relationships, communication, couples therapy, intimacy, family dynamics, conflict resolution, marriage, parenting challenges, emotional connection Takeaways We were one of those annoying couples who rarely fought. You don't know until it happens how your life is going to completely turn upside down. We passed it, but not us. There's something taboo about this fighting that goes on behind closed doors. I would expect him to read my mind. It's not taking a break. It's punitive. You can't talk to him like that. What are you giving to the relationship? You have to learn to negotiate. It's comforting to know a lot of us are going through this. Titles Navigating Parenthood: The Realities of Marriage Communication in Relationships: The Key to Connection Sound Bites "We passed it, but not us." "You can't talk to him like that." "You have to learn to negotiate."      

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