Be a Happier Parent

• Ep22: What we ALL want for Christmas with Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino

  Don't worry it's not all about Christmas! Christmas is a great framework to discuss some really important issues. If you want to help with the amazing "Equalish" podcast, check out their crowd funding campaign, here: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent Full vidoes of episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords gender roles, fatherhood, emotional labor, parenting, equality, family dynamics, holiday traditions, shame, guilt, identity Summary This conversation delves into the evolving roles of parents, particularly focusing on gender dynamics in parenting. The speakers discuss how traditional gender roles impact both men and women, the importance of open conversations before becoming parents, and the need for shared emotional labor in family dynamics. They explore the significance of creating joy during holidays and the challenges of breaking down societal norms and gatekeeping. The discussion also touches on the concepts of shame and guilt in parenting, emphasizing the need to redefine identities and scripts around parenthood. Takeaways Gender roles are often gendered and can hurt both men and women. The role of fathers has evolved significantly over the years. Conversations about parenting should start before the baby arrives. Emotional labor and cognitive tasks often fall disproportionately on one partner. Teaching boys to notice and participate in household tasks is crucial. Creating joy during holidays can enhance family connections. Mothers should feel empowered to take time away from home. Shame is tied to identity, while guilt is tied to actions. It's important to challenge and redefine parenting scripts. Parents should reflect on their values and identities regularly. Titles Redefining Parenthood: Gender Roles and Emotional Labor The Changing Face of Fatherhood Sound bites "Gender roles hurt men too." "Shame is tied to our identity." "Who do I want to be as a parent?" Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Conversation 02:53 Exploring Gender Roles in Parenting 06:11 The Evolution of Fatherhood 06:21 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities 08:20 Cognitive and Emotional Labor in Households 11:28 The Role of Antenatal Programs 13:52 The Impact of Societal Expectations 16:43 The Concept of 'Noticing' in Parenting 18:58 Creating Joy During the Holidays 22:16 Navigating Family Dynamics at Christmas 24:52 Breaking Down Barriers to Equality 27:37 Conclusion and Reflections 29:19 The Dynamics of Gatekeeping and Power 31:40 Traditions and the Role of Women 33:16 Changing Family Dynamics and Emotional Labor 34:54 The Importance of Caregiving Roles 36:08 Building Relationships Through Shared Joy 39:24 The Challenge of Emotional Vulnerability in Parenting 43:53 Learning from Dads: The Value of Different Parenting Styles 45:25 Shame, Guilt, and Identity in Parenting

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• Ep 21: Strength, Grief and Trust with Dr Anna Whitwham

  We were discussing Anna's most recent book: "Soft Tissue Damage"  Also check out her novel: "Boxer Handsome" Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @beahappierparent and find videos of these episodes on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords masculinity, identity, vulnerability, shame, literature, parenting, relationships, emotional health, gender roles, self-discovery Summary In this conversation, Anna and Alex delve into the complexities of masculinity, exploring its constructs and representations in literature, the evolution of male identity, and the role of vulnerability and shame. They discuss the importance of female perspectives in understanding masculinity and the significance of building supportive networks for future generations. The dialogue emphasizes the need for emotional health and the impact of relationships on personal growth. Takeaways Identity is a construct, and masculinity can take many forms. Literature reflects the evolution of male identity over time. Vulnerability is a crucial aspect of masculinity. Shame can lead to destructive patterns of behavior. Care and support are essential in male friendships. Finding strength in vulnerability can lead to personal growth. Female perspectives are vital in understanding masculinity. Witnessing experiences is crucial for emotional health. Building a supportive network is important for children. The dynamics of female friendships differ from male friendships.  Titles The Many Faces of Masculinity Literary Reflections on Male Identity Sound bites "Identity is construct, right?" "You have to learn not to fight." "This is a book about healing." Chapters 00:00 Exploring Masculinity in Literature 04:31 The Evolution of Male Protagonists 07:20 The Impact of War on Masculinity 10:10 Shame and Vulnerability in Men 13:00 The Role of Alcohol in Masculine Identity 15:54 Understanding Shame and Forgiveness 18:02 The Gendered Experience of Shame 21:04 Parenting and Masculinity 23:33 The Intersection of Boxing and Identity 26:24 Navigating Relationships and Violence 28:08 The Journey of Self-Discovery through Sport 35:28 The Comfort of Kebab and Vulnerability 36:10 The Female Perspective on Masculinity 38:35 Conversations on Care and Masculinity 40:53 Healing Through Boxing and Loss 43:19 Understanding Aging and Care 46:41 The Role of Witnessing in Relationships 49:26 Navigating Mortality and Parenthood 52:42 The Dynamics of Female Friendships 54:55 Blending Families and Modern Relationships 54:55 Introduction to Soft Tissue Damage 54:55 Exploring Anna Witwam's Works

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• Ep 20: How to be a Great Husband with Brian Page

  Check out Modern Husbands https://www.modernhusbands.com/ Follow me on Instagram and TikTok and check out videos of these eps on Youtube @alexindadland Keywords household roles, domestic labor, marital satisfaction, Fair Play system, emotional labor, financial conversations, parenting, money values, relationship dynamics, pandemic impact Summary In this conversation, Brian Page discusses the evolving roles of men and women in household management, particularly in the context of the pandemic. He emphasizes the benefits of shared domestic labor, including increased marital satisfaction and personal happiness for men. The discussion also covers the Fair Play system, which aims to create efficiency in household tasks, and the emotional dynamics that arise from managing a home. Additionally, the conversation touches on the importance of financial discussions in relationships and how to teach children about money and values. Takeaways Shared household labor leads to greater marital satisfaction. Men report higher personal happiness when involved in domestic tasks. Being a domestic safety net allows for authentic self-expression. Understanding emotional labor is crucial for efficient household management. The Fair Play system promotes equitable task ownership in homes. Financial discussions should happen when emotions are low for clarity. Teaching children about money can shape their values and character. Regular money dates can help couples manage finances better. Appreciation for each other's contributions is vital in relationships. Navigating household roles requires open communication and empathy. Titles Redefining Masculinity in Domestic Spaces The Joy of Shared Household Responsibilities Sound bites "You can't weaponize this either." "Use money to shape who they are." "Always start with the good stuff." Chapters 00:00 Embracing Change: The Empty Nester Transition 03:34 The Birth of Modern Husbands: A Personal Journey 06:01 The Benefits of Shared Household Responsibilities 08:06 Understanding Domestic Labor: Mental Load and Efficiency 10:44 Navigating Societal Expectations: The Financial Provider Dilemma 12:52 Fair Play: A System for Equitable Household Management 15:42 Emotional Labor and Relationship Dynamics 17:56 The Importance of Appreciation in Relationships 20:51 Negotiating Household Standards: Finding Common Ground 23:33 The Evolving Role of Men in Domestic Spaces 32:03 Navigating the Messy World of Caregiving 34:20 Balancing Relationships and Parenting 36:31 Practical Tips for Couples with Young Kids 38:07 Understanding Perpetual Arguments in Relationships 43:32 The Economics of Caregiving and Financial Decisions 53:33 Learning Through Conflict and Money Conversations

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• Ep 19: Can We Build Resilience? With Tim Curtis

  You can find additional resources from Tim here: https://resilienceshield.com/ Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent Full videos of the episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords resilience, parenting, adversity, children, self-leadership, technology, community, struggle, mental health, emotional intelligence Summary In this conversation, Tim Curtis shares his insights on resilience, particularly in children, drawing from his experiences in the SAS and his work in teaching resilience. He emphasizes the importance of adversity in building resilience, the role of struggle in achieving happiness, and the need for children to engage in free play and face risks to develop agency and problem-solving skills. Curtis also discusses the impact of technology on children's mental health and the importance of trust and communication in parenting. Takeaways Resilience is built through adversity and stress. Children need to experience some stress to develop resilience. Allowing children to sit in their emotions is crucial for self-awareness. Struggle is essential for true happiness and growth. Boredom can lead to creativity and self-leadership in children. Community and free play are vital for children's development. Technology can impair resilience if not monitored properly. Trusting children to navigate risks fosters independence. Parents should model vulnerability and risk-taking for their children. Building a supportive community can enhance parenting and child development. Titles Building Resilient Kids: Insights from an SAS Veteran The Importance of Adversity in Child Development Sound bites "Resilience needs stress to be built." "With risk comes opportunity." "You can't just strip out the risk." Chapters 00:00 From Soldier to Advocate for Children 06:29 The Link Between Resilience and Morality 06:42 Understanding Resilience: Definitions and Components 11:28 Resilience: A Dynamic and Modifiable Concept 16:07 The Necessity of Adversity in Building Resilience 20:24 Happiness Through Struggle vs. Comfort 24:27 Harnessing Synthetic Happiness for Better Outcomes 25:03 Navigating Happiness: Synthetic vs. Enduring Joy 26:05 The Importance of Boredom and Self-Leadership 28:40 Challenging Negativity Bias in Parenting 29:53 The Role of Free Play in Child Development 34:23 Understanding Screen Time and Its Impact 42:50 Lessons from Parenting: Embracing Individuality 46:20 Finding Alternatives to Team Sports 47:56 The Power of Communal Parenting 51:42 Risk, Opportunity, and Resilience in Parenting

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• Ep 18: Trauma, Healing and Change with Ben May

  You can find the New Normal Charity @tnncharity on Instagram. Website: https://www.thenewnormalcharity.org/ Ben also coaches men on developing empathy and changing the way they think, behave and react both in work and life. You can find him on Instagram @ldn_brbr or email [email protected] Please follow me on Instagram or TikTok @beahappierparent. Full videos of the episodes are available on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords grief, trauma, identity, loss, support, relationships, parenthood, mental health, healing, self-discovery Summary In this conversation, Alex Trippier and Ben discuss the complexities of grief, trauma, and identity. They explore how personal experiences shape our understanding of loss and the importance of shared experiences in healing. Ben shares his journey through grief after losing his father and how it impacted his relationships and behavior. They also touch on the gendered responses to grief and the societal expectations placed on men. The discussion emphasizes the need for open communication and support in navigating grief and the ongoing journey of self-discovery and change. Takeaways Grief is a unique experience for everyone. Time does not erase the pain of loss. Shared experiences can foster connection and understanding. Men often struggle to express their emotions. Parenthood can change one's perspective on grief. Trauma can shape our identities and behaviors. It's important to seek support during difficult times. Understanding different types of loss is crucial. Communication is key in relationships affected by grief. Self-discovery is an ongoing journey influenced by our past. Titles Navigating the Complexities of Grief The Impact of Trauma on Identity Sound bites "I just want to feel normal again." "Grief is a confusing thing." "Men don't speak about things." Chapters 00:00 Understanding Grief and the New Normal 37:30 The Scotch Egg Theory of Grief 46:12 The Complexity of Loss and Relationships 49:11 Gender Differences in Grief Responses 51:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery in Fatherhood 56:35 Understanding Addiction and Masculinity 01:01:19 Parenting and Personal Growth

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