Be a Happier Parent

• Ep 17: What Happens When Dads are Put in Charge? With Dr Marte Bergan

  Check out Marte’s full thesis here: https://ora.ox.ac.uk/objects/uuid:800e3289-08ad-449f-a00d-f5da87f1100d You help make some similar changes to our parental leave system by getting involved with The Dad Shift www.dadshift.org.uk Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent   Keywords gender equality, Norway, parental leave, daddy quota, family dynamics, cultural values, work-life balance, childcare, feminism, societal norms Summary In this conversation, Marte discusses the cultural and governmental factors that have shaped gender equality in Norway, particularly in relation to parental leave policies and the daddy quota. The discussion explores the evolving roles of fathers in childcare, the dynamics of resentment in relationships, and the long-term impacts of these policies on family life. Marte emphasizes the importance of shared responsibilities and the need for societal change to foster a more egalitarian approach to parenting and work-life balance. Takeaways Gender equality is deeply embedded in Norwegian culture. Government policies have played a crucial role in promoting gender equality. The daddy quota encourages fathers to take an active role in childcare. Cultural values in Norway prioritize family time and work-life balance. Mothers often retain the managerial role in family dynamics. Resentment can arise from unequal distribution of parenting responsibilities. Parental leave policies impact long-term family relationships. Fathers in Norway are seen as experts in childcare due to their involvement. The corporate culture in Norway supports flexible working hours for both parents. Societal norms need to evolve to support shared parenting responsibilities. Titles Exploring Gender Equality in Norway The Impact of the Daddy Quota Sound bites "It's in our national DNA." "We value family time." "It's use it or lose it." Chapters 00:00 Cultural Foundations of Parenthood 04:03 The Daddy Quota: A Game Changer 06:55 Work-Life Balance in Norway vs. the UK 08:37 The Impact of Gender Roles on Parenting 11:06 Men's Perspectives on Parenting and Work 13:35 Long-Term Effects of Parental Leave Policies 16:09 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities 19:03 Conclusions and Future Directions 31:42 Work-Life Balance in Norway vs. the UK 34:45 Resentment in Parenting Roles 36:51 Judgment and Gender Expectations 40:53 Redefining Parenting Roles 45:56 The Manager vs. Expert Dynamic 49:57 Cultural Shifts in Parenting 52:43 The System of Gendered Parenting

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• Ep 16: How Not to Hate Your Partner with Jancee Dunn

  Find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent Summary In this conversation, Jancee Dunn shares her experiences navigating the complexities of marriage and parenthood, highlighting the unexpected challenges that arise when transitioning into parenthood. She discusses the importance of communication, the impact of societal expectations on relationships, and the necessity of seeking help through couples therapy. Dunn emphasizes the need for clarity in roles and responsibilities, as well as the importance of reconnecting with one's partner after having children. The conversation also touches on the challenges of maintaining intimacy and the emotional toll of parenting on relationships. Chapters 00:00 Communication Breakdown in Relationships 07:42 The Asymmetry of Communication Between Genders 10:21 Understanding Stonewalling and Its Effects 16:19 The Role of Empathy in Conflict Resolution 18:14 Seeking Help: The Journey to Therapy 24:30 Terry Real's Tough Love Approach 30:39 The Impact of Parental Conflict on Children 32:20 Breaking the Cycle of Anger 33:13 Understanding Communication in Relationships 33:58 Reconnecting as Partners 34:53 Navigating the Transition to Empty Nest 35:48 Establishing Systems for Relationship Health 37:30 The Importance of Date Nights 38:56 Mindfulness in Parenting and Relationships 42:51 The Impact of Sensuality on Intimacy 43:49 The Work Behind a Healthy Sex Life 47:51 Resentment and Connection in Relationships 51:29 Preparing for Parenthood 53:31 The Division of Labor in Parenting 56:03 Negotiation and Clarity in Relationships 56:53 The Power Imbalance in Relationships Keywords parenthood, relationships, communication, couples therapy, intimacy, family dynamics, conflict resolution, marriage, parenting challenges, emotional connection Takeaways We were one of those annoying couples who rarely fought. You don't know until it happens how your life is going to completely turn upside down. We passed it, but not us. There's something taboo about this fighting that goes on behind closed doors. I would expect him to read my mind. It's not taking a break. It's punitive. You can't talk to him like that. What are you giving to the relationship? You have to learn to negotiate. It's comforting to know a lot of us are going through this. Titles Navigating Parenthood: The Realities of Marriage Communication in Relationships: The Key to Connection Sound Bites "We passed it, but not us." "You can't talk to him like that." "You have to learn to negotiate."      

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• Ep 15: Teenagers and the Wonder and Delight of Uncertainty with Rachel Kelly

  You can find Rachel on https://rachel-kelly.net/ Follow me on Instagram @beahappierparent Summary In this conversation, Rachel Kelly discusses the complexities of parenting teenagers, emphasizing the importance of self-relationship, connection, and understanding. She explores how parents can navigate their own needs while fostering autonomy in their children, the illusion of control, and the impact of societal expectations on parenting. The dialogue highlights the significance of compassion, judgment, and the evolving nature of parent-child relationships as children grow into adulthood. Takeaways Your main relationship is with yourself. Connecting with teenagers requires understanding and compassion. Parents must navigate their own needs while supporting their children. The illusion of control can hinder relationships with teenagers. Managing expectations and anxiety is crucial in parenting. Embracing differences and individuality fosters connection. Judgment can be detrimental; compassion is key. The parent-child relationship evolves as children grow. Supporting children means assisting, not rescuing them. Parenting becomes more rewarding as children mature. Keywords parenting, teenagers, self-relationship, connection, control, anxiety, compassion, individuality, judgment, growth Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Personal Connections 04:20 Emotional Regulation and Connection 05:32 The Evolution of Parent-Teen Relationships 06:43 Letting Go of Control 09:30 The Shift in Parenting Dynamics 10:19 Practical Strategies for Better Communication 12:41 Expectations and Reality in Family Life 15:51 The Importance of Timing in Conversations 18:28 Nutrition and Well-being for Teenagers 24:53 Navigating Parenting Challenges 26:58 Understanding Anxiety in Parenting 29:29 The Gendered Anxiety Gap 33:43 Embracing Uncertainty in Parenting 37:54 Judgment and Compassion in Parenting 42:10 The Importance of Connection 45:06 Redefining Pride and Agency in Parenting 51:24 The Evolving Parent-Child Relationship Titles Navigating the Teenage Years: A Parent's Guide The Art of Connection: Parenting Teens Sound Bites "We want to connect, right?" "What else could be possible?" "You can learn and grow."      

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• Ep 14: Get Better at Being Angry with Sam Parker

      You can find Sam on Substack @goodanger and Instagram @samparkeruk You can find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent and full videos of these episodes are available on Youtube @alexindadland Summary This conversation delves into the complexities of anger, exploring its multifaceted nature, gender dynamics, and its role in relationships and parenting. The speakers discuss how societal norms shape our understanding of anger, the importance of expressing it in healthy ways, and the need for emotional awareness in both personal and professional contexts. They emphasize the significance of recognizing anger as a valid emotion that can lead to positive change when managed effectively. Takeaways Anger is a multifaceted emotion that can be both constructive and destructive. Gender plays a significant role in how anger is perceived and expressed. Healthy relationships require the ability to express anger and resolve conflicts. Modeling healthy conflict resolution for children is crucial in parenting. Anger in the workplace often goes unaddressed, leading to disengagement. Somatic awareness can help individuals identify and process their anger. Anger can serve as a signal for unmet needs and insecurities. Trial and error is essential in learning how to manage anger effectively. Understanding the body’s response to anger can enhance emotional intelligence. Embracing anger as a natural emotion can lead to personal growth and healthier relationships. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Anger: A Gendered Emotion 07:51 The Role of Anger in Parenting and Social Media 13:08 Rethinking Anger: Beyond Aggression and Violence 19:09 Anger as a Tool for Self-Discovery 24:00 Anger in Relationships: Navigating Conflict 30:11 Quiet Quitting: The Impact of Unexpressed Anger 36:11 The Complexity of Anger in Parenting 39:04 Modeling Healthy Conflict Resolution 42:02 Understanding Anger as a Primary Emotion 46:30 Anger: A Servant or a Master? 52:25 The Body's Role in Emotional Awareness 57:29 Integrating Body and Mind in Emotional Health Titles The Complexity of Anger: Understanding Its Role in Our Lives Gender Dynamics of Anger: Who Gets to Express It? Sound Bites "Anger is a multifaceted emotion." "Who gets to feel angry?" "Anger at work is often avoided."  

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• Ep 13: Navigating Postnatal Depression with Sally Bunkham

  You can find all the support PANDAS offer here: https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/ Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent In this conversation, Alex Trippier speaks with Sally from the Pandas Foundation about the complexities of parenting, mental health, and the challenges faced by parents, particularly those dealing with autism. They explore the emotional struggles of new parents, the realities of postnatal depression, and the importance of support systems. The discussion also touches on the unique experiences of fathers and the dynamics of family relationships, emphasizing the need for open communication and understanding in navigating these challenges. Chapters 00:00 New Chapter 02:57 The Impact of the Pandemic on Mental Health Services 03:51 Personal Journey: Sally's Experience with Motherhood 09:19 Navigating Relationships During Parenting Challenges 15:24 Seeking Help: The Importance of Support Services 20:16 Understanding Mental Health: Labels and Misconceptions 25:00 The Role of Communication in Relationships 25:58 New Rock bottom 26:32 Sleeping and anonymity 30:37 Modern Support: Technology and Accessibility in Mental Health 32:31 Building Relationships Through Support Services 33:31 Dads and Mental Health: Breaking the Stigma 36:27 Navigating Trauma and Anxiety in Parenthood 40:31 Understanding Autism: The Journey to Diagnosis 47:54 The Intersection of Autism and Parenting Challenges 56:03 Balancing Parenting Styles: Communication and Compromise Takeaways Parenting often differs greatly from expectations. Mental health struggles are common among parents. Postnatal depression is a serious issue that needs attention. Support systems are crucial for parents' well-being. Dads face unique mental health challenges during parenthood. Autism presents specific parenting dynamics and challenges. Open communication is key in relationships during parenting. It's important to validate feelings of struggle and anxiety. Navigating family expectations can be complex and stressful. Finding balance in parenting responsibilities is essential. Keywords parenting, mental health, postnatal depression, autism, family dynamics, support, fatherhood, motherhood, emotional well-being, parenting challenges Sound Bites "Sally has two children with autism." "How do we support each other as couples?" "Autism's such a wide spectrum."    

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