No need for Prince Charming

Every donor-conceived child from an SMBC will ask it eventually. Mummy, why don't I have a daddy?
Most of us lie awake at some point worrying about how to answer it. What words do we use? How much do we say? What if we get it wrong?

This week I'm joined by Beth Sadowsky — solo mum by choice, life coach, and author of Choosing Rose, a children's picture book written specifically for SMBC families. Beth is based in Florida, USA, and her daughter Lily is 7. The book started as a letter Beth wrote to Lily while she was still pregnant — a way to prepare for the conversation she knew was coming — and it became a beautifully illustrated picture book that leans into the question rather than avoiding it.

Choosing Rose isn't a biology lesson. It doesn't explain what sperm is or how IVF works. It's a story — warm enough for bedtime and honest enough to open a real conversation. The kind of book you can hand your child and read together, and the words come naturally because the story does the work.

We talk about how the book came to be, what Lily thought when she first heard it read to her, how Beth handled the moment at school when Lily said I wish I had a daddy at a table full of dads, and why Beth believes the question isn't something to dread — it's one of the most beautiful opportunities we have as solo mums.

This episode is for any solo mum who hasn't quite worked out how to start this conversation yet. Or who's been putting it off. Or who picked up the book and burst into tears before they even got to page three.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin.

Choosing Rose is available on Amazon, including Amazon Australia. Search: Choosing Rose Beth Sadowsky.

In this episode:

What inspired Beth to write Choosing Rose — and why it started as a letter, not a book

The gap in children's books for SMBC families — what exists, what doesn't, and why it matters

Why Beth deliberately kept the book free of biological detail — and what that makes possible

How Lily reacted when Beth first read it to her at age 2 — and what she thinks now at 7

The moment at a school event when Lily said "I wish I had a daddy" — and how Beth handled it without making it a big deal

Why "I wish I had a daddy" almost never means what we think it means — and what to do instead of panicking

The difference between the question being about absence vs. the question being about curiosity

How to use Choosing Rose at school to help classmates and teachers understand your family

Beth's advice for any solo mum who wants to write their own book — three things she'd tell anyone starting out

Why Father's Day is actually a perfect moment to open this conversation

Links

Choosing Rose on Amazon Australia

Beth on Instagram: @choosingmotherhoodbooks or @choosing.motherhood

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

You're Not Doing This Alone
Solo Mum Society's Facebook group is full of women asking the exact questions you're too tired to Google at 3am. Join here.

She Chose Her Mother's Coffin With Her Newborn in the Next Room
A brief note: this episode includes the death of Jessica's mum from cancer during Teddy's first year, and a hospital stay for Teddy shortly after. It's heavy in places — but told with real warmth, and it ends somewhere good.

Jessica brought Teddy home five days after his birth, straight into a household COVID exposure that saw her evacuated to her brother's for a week. It set the tone. Over the following eight months, her mum's cancer — held at bay through years of chemo — stopped responding. On Christmas Day, watching Teddy on his new swing, her mum said she was done.

Nine days later she was gone. Jessica went from choosing her mother's coffin to planning eulogies with her five-month-old in the next room — and that same night, drove Teddy to hospital with a UTI, still in her funeral clothes. She calls it, only half-joking, the worst run she's ever had.

What carries the second half of this conversation isn't the hardship — it's what Jessica does with it. A letter her mum left her says three words: look for the joy. It's tattooed on her arm now, in her mum's handwriting. She talks about grief and gratitude sitting in the same two hands, her dad's daily role in getting Teddy to daycare, and why — for now — she's landed on one and done.

In this episode:

Bringing Teddy home into a COVID household exposure, five days postpartum, and being evacuated to her brother's for a week

Her mum's decline over Teddy's first eight months, and choosing to stop active treatment on Christmas Day

Choosing her mother's coffin with her newborn in the next room

Teddy's hospital admission for a UTI the night of the funeral

Why "look for the joy" — her mum's own words — is tattooed on her arm

Going back to work at six and a half months, and needing the distraction

Her dad's daily role — early starts, daycare drop-offs, and finding purpose in it too

The second embryo still in storage, and why she's landed on "one and done"

Her message to Teddy for his 21st birthday, and her advice for anyone considering this path

Key Takeaways

You can hold joy and grief in the same two hands at the same time — becoming a mum and losing a parent aren't mutually exclusive experiences

Letting grandparents help in practical, daily ways gives them purpose too, not just support to you

Going back to work early isn't a failure of bonding — sometimes it's what makes you a better, more present parent

"One and done" is a considered decision, not a consolation prize

The advice that gets you through 3am isn't always a professional — it's a Facebook group full of people asking the same question you're too embarrassed to ask

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

You're Not Doing This Alone
Solo Mum Society's Facebook group is full of women asking the exact questions you're too tired to Google at 3am. Join here.

Ten Years, One Afternoon, and a Donor She Wasn't Supposed to Find That Fast
A brief note: this episode touches on Jessica's mum's terminal cancer diagnosis, which arrived while she was starting IVF. Nothing graphic — just wanted you to know it's there.

Jessica always knew she'd be a mum. What she had, that a lot of solo mums don't, was a role model: her aunt, a solo mum by choice back in the early '90s, back when it wasn't spoken about at all. Jessica set herself a deadline — 32 — and spent the years before it doing the groundwork: leaving a teaching career that had wrecked her mental health, retraining as a nurse through COVID, having bariatric surgery, losing 70 kilos.

By the time she walked into her fertility clinic, her mum had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Jessica kept going anyway — her mum wanted it that way. She found her donor on the very first afternoon she looked at profiles, then spent days convincing herself it couldn't really be that simple. It was. Her egg collection came back lower than hoped, four eggs, three fertilised — but two became embryos, and her fresh transfer implanted the same day her nan passed away.

Her mum was too unwell to be in the room for the caesarean she'd always planned to be at. Her dad stepped in instead, and cut the cord. Jessica calls it the best moment of her life — calm, exactly as she'd hoped, nothing like the year that was about to follow.

In this episode:

Growing up with a solo-mum-by-choice aunt, and what a good example of the journey looks like when you're young

Leaving teaching, moving home, and choosing nursing — specifically anaesthetics — for the job security and flexibility motherhood would need

Bariatric surgery, losing 70 kilos, and reversing her PCOS along the way

Her mum's terminal cancer diagnosis landing right as she started the fertility process — and choosing to keep going

Finding her sperm donor on the very first day, and the days it took her to believe that was real

A lower-than-hoped egg collection — 4 eggs, 3 fertilised — and why "still four" was enough

Falling pregnant the same day her nan passed away

Hyperemesis gravidarum, advanced maternal age, and working as an anaesthetic nurse through a high-risk pregnancy

Her dad stepping in for the planned caesarean, and cutting the cord

Key Takeaways

Groundwork for solo motherhood — financial, physical, mental — can start years before you make the "official" decision

Finding your donor fast isn't a red flag. It's allowed to be simple.

A low egg collection number isn't the end of the story. It only takes one.

You don't have to pause a fertility journey because life gets hard at the same time — sometimes it's the reason to keep going

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant or TTC Solo?
Expecting Solo takes you through everything you need to navigate pregnancy solo, share your news with confidence, and bring joy to the journey. Find out more.

One appointment changed everything
Emma never romanticised motherhood. She spent her whole career caring for other people's children — as a live-in nanny, a live-out nanny, and eventually a kinder assistant — and somewhere along the way she started asking herself whether she'd regret not having a child of her own.

The answer was yes. And that was enough.

She didn't come to this with urgency or grief or a ticking clock. She came to it with clarity. When her best friend's AMH results came back unexpectedly, Emma went and got her own tested. Her level was 8, at 32. She booked an appointment with a fertility specialist — not sure yet whether she'd freeze her eggs or something more — and walked out of that appointment completely certain: she was going to do it now.

She picked a donor in January 2024, on the first day she allowed herself to look. She found him almost immediately. She chose him on vibe — specifically, on the way he answered a question about how he felt about potentially having a biological child out there. His honesty about the nervousness of it was the thing that landed. One round of IVF, first transfer. Positive.

Franklin arrived after an induction and one hour and fifteen minutes of active labour. He was at a wedding five days later. He is now 17 months old, obsessed with his shoes, and recently helped Emma unpack the dishwasher by putting a glass on the shelf at exactly the right height.

This is a short, honest, uncomplicated story. Not every journey is long. Not every IVF cycle fails. Emma's wasn't, and hers is here to remind you that it can just work.

In this episode:

Growing up always around kids — nannying as a career and how it shaped, and complicated, her path to motherhood

Why adoption or foster care was always in her thinking — and why the reality in Australia didn't match the idea

The AMH test that lit the fuse — and the appointment that made the decision for her

Deciding at 32 that she didn't want to wait for a relationship she wasn't sure was coming

Choosing a donor almost immediately — and why his answer about nervous anticipation of future contact was the deciding factor

IVF at City Fertility: smooth, straightforward, first transfer positive

A quick induction and one hour fifteen minutes of active labour

Coming home to a full house — her mum, her mum's partner, and a housemate — and how that helped and sometimes didn't

Mixed feeding until 8 months — three methods running simultaneously because she couldn't choose

Going to a wedding five days postpartum

The work complications that caught her off guard — disability job restructured, shifts changed, financially in limbo at 17 months postpartum

What surprised her most about having a baby after a career caring for other people's children

The FOMO that disappeared, the priorities that shifted, and the softness that settled in

Why she wants a second child — and what she'd do differently to prepare

Key Takeaways

One appointment can make the decision for you — go and get the information before you decide anything

A low AMH at 32 doesn't mean this is impossible; it means start sooner rather than later

You don't need a partner to take the next step. You just need to take the next step.

Working with children professionally does not prepare you emotionally for your own — the connection is completely different

Don't go back to work assuming everything will be the same — roles change, rosters change, hours change. Have a contingency in mind

Mixed feeding is not failure. It is just one more decision with pros and cons and no clear winner, and you will get through it either way

Solo motherhood doesn't have to be hard or long. It can just work.

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?
The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

Two Kids, One Heart Condition, and No Regrets
A brief note: this episode mentions a miscarriage between Kristina's two pregnancies. She shares it with grace and without distress, but we wanted you to know it's there.

 

Kristina spent her 30s doing what she loved — living in different countries, working big marketing jobs, going out, seeing things. Children were always in the plan. A partner never quite materialised. And then her mum — a retired GP who had spent her career delivering babies — started dropping not-so-subtle hints every time she saw her.

By 38, Kristina made the appointment.

What followed was a journey that looked nothing like she imagined, partly because of the pandemic that landed in the middle of it, and partly because of the heart condition she had been managing for years — including an implanted defibrillator — that meant nobody quite knew how her body would handle a pregnancy. The answer, it turned out, was better than out of it.

Kristina conceived on her first IVF transfer at City Fertility, in Melbourne, just as the borders closed. Her whole pregnancy was in lockdown. She worked from home, mostly unseen, growing a baby in an Art Deco apartment in Prahran while the world tried to work out what was happening. Otis arrived via planned caesarean at Epworth in June 2020 — small, at 2.1 kilos, and with talipes (clubfoot) that hadn't been picked up on any scan.

What followed was five months of weekly leg casts, a small operation to release tendons, then months in boots and a bar — a mini snowboard contraption that kept his feet overcorrected while the bones formed. It was hard. He was, as Kristina puts it, a miserable baby. She moved her parents in and went on road trips whenever the lockdowns allowed.

She went back for a second child when Otis was 20 months old. There was a miscarriage between them — the numbers weren't going up, and then suddenly they were, and then there was no heartbeat. She managed it medically and ended up in hospital. It was awful. Then she went back, transferred the next embryo, and got pregnant straight away.

Seven months into that pregnancy, she packed up the apartment, flew to New Zealand with her mum and Otis, and had Ari via planned C-section at Nelson Public Hospital. This time, everything was fine. He slept. She called the midwife crying, convinced something was wrong.

Otis is five. Ari is two and a half. Kristina is about to launch her own fashion brand from Nelson. She rides bikes and scooters to school with her boys every morning. She doesn't regret a single thing.

In this episode:

Growing up the eldest of four — always knowing she wanted to be a mother, even when she was busy living her best life in her 30s

Her mum — a retired GP — planting the seed with increasing persistence, and why she's grateful for it

The heart condition and implanted defibrillator that made her wonder whether her body could handle pregnancy — and why it turned out to be the wrong thing to worry about

Deciding to keep her IUI cycles secret from almost everyone — and why she told everyone when she moved to IVF

IVF at 38-39 at City Fertility: 8 eggs, 4 embryos, pregnant on the first transfer

Getting the positive the day the COVID borders closed — her mum, her Canadian friend, and their bags packed

A COVID pregnancy — working from home, nobody watching the bump grow, quietly grateful for the rest

Otis arriving at 2.1 kilos with undetected talipes — the shock, the five months of weekly casts, the minor surgery, and the boots and bar he wore until he was four

What it was really like — the misery, the pacing, the jiggling, the shushing, and the road trips in between lockdowns

The miscarriage between her two pregnancies — what happened physically, the hospital trip that followed, and how she feels about it now

Going back, transferring the next embryo, and getting pregnant straight away

Moving to New Zealand at 7 months pregnant — what she'd do differently, and what she'd tell anyone considering the same move

Ari's birth at Nelson Public Hospital — perfectly smooth, and a baby who slept so well she thought something was wrong

Finding six solo mums in Nelson and building a community in a small town

Leaving the corporate world, turning down a dream Auckland job, and launching her own fashion brand

What surprised her most about doing this twice — and which stage she didn't expect to be the hardest

Key Takeaways

A pre-existing health condition doesn't mean solo motherhood isn't possible — it means you need the right team, honest conversations, and a specialist who will help you get there, not talk you out of it

You never feel completely ready — at some point, you have to decide the process is more important than the feeling

Telling people matters — the support you get back is almost always better than you expected

Moving countries (or even cities) for support with a second child is not retreating — it's a practical, wise decision that makes the whole thing possible

The hard parts of the newborn phase fade faster than you think — and that's not a trick, it's biology

The hardest stage with two children isn't the newborn period — it's when the younger one develops their own strong personality and the two of them want different things

You can build a solo mum community anywhere, even a small town — it finds you once you're there

Two boys, solo: they will love you fiercely, and you will take full credit for all of it

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant or TTC Solo?
The Expecting solo takes you through everything you need to navigate pregnancy solo, share your news with confidence, build your support network and bring joy to the journey. Find out more.