Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Are you helping your adult child… or accidentally holding them back?
Many parents quietly support their adult children financially — paying rent, helping with debt, or covering emergencies. But when does helping become enabling?
In this episode, Denise talks with financial psychologist Dr. Brad Klontz about the emotional and psychological forces behind the “Bank of Mom and Dad.”
Dr. Brad tells it like it is and doesn't hold back.  He's says the right things - but sometimes they are hard to hear.  You decide. 
Together they explore why financial dependence happens, how parents unintentionally reinforce it, and what it takes to change the pattern.
This is a tough conversation — but an important one for any parent wondering if their financial support is truly helping their child thrive.
In this episode we discuss:
What a financial psychologist actually does
Why money is the #1 stressor for most Americans
The emotional drivers behind parents financially supporting adult children
The difference between helping and enabling
The psychology of financial dependence
Why adult children sometimes resent the parents supporting them
How guilt, divorce, and childhood experiences shape financial decisions
What parents can do when an adult child refuses to become independent
The psychological concept of an “extinction burst”
How to create boundaries around financial help
What to do when grandchildren complicate the situation
Whether helping with a house down payment is a good idea
How money can impact sibling relationships and inheritance
If you have something to add or if you have a question you'd like us to answer:
📞 Call the Bite Your Tongue listener line: 719-347-1106
You can also email us at [email protected].
We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.  
Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 
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Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show
 
 
The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Family estrangement is one of the most painful and least discussed challenges parents face today.
In this deeply personal and controversial episode, Denise speaks with journalist, entrepreneur, and author Laura Wellington, known online as Doormat Mom No More. After raising five children as a widowed mother, Laura found herself unexpectedly cut off by one of her adult daughters—an experience that left her heartbroken and searching for answers.
She tried desperately to find other parents who were suffering with similar loss.  But noone came forward.  Then, she did what she never thought she would do - put a video about her problem on TikTok.  What followed was something she never anticipated: thousands of parents reaching out with similar stories. She's been featured in so many places including The Wall Street Journal, People Magazine and The Doctor Phil TV Show. 
Laura is a bright accomplished woman and her story will resonate with many.  It's more than just about estrangement.  It's about finding yourself.
This conversation is raw, complicated, and at times uncomfortable—but it’s one many families are quietly navigating.
Whether you’re a parent, an adult child, or someone trying to understand a fractured relationship, this episode opens the door to a conversation we’re not having nearly enough.
Check out Laura's book -- Doormat Mom, No More! When Good Parents Finally say "Enough" to Their Ungrateful Kids.
If this episode resonates with you, we want to hear your story.
📞 Call the Bite Your Tongue listener line: 719-347-1106
You can also email us at [email protected].
We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.  
Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 
Facebook
 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show
 
 
The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Do you lie awake at night running through every possible “what if” about your adult child?
What if they make the wrong choice?
What if they don’t land on their feet?
Should I call? Should I say something? Should I bite my tongue?
In this episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise welcomes back psychologist and parent coach Jeffrey Bernstein, author of Freeing Your Child from Overthinking, to unpack the difference between anxiety and overthinking — and why that distinction matters so much in relationships with adult children.
What You’ll Learn:
Why overthinking is a mental habit — not just anxiety
How parents unintentionally fuel their adult child’s anxiety
Why “less is more” is often the most loving response
The danger of becoming a SWAT Team Parent
How to support an overthinking adult child without fixing or rescuing
The power of validation over advice
How retirement and extra time can increase parental overthinking
The PACE Method
Dr. Bernstein introduces a simple but powerful tool:
P — Pause
A — Acknowledge
C — Contain
E — Engage
When parents regulate their own overthinking, adult children don’t have to defend against it.
Key Takeaway:
Overthinking fuels anxiety — and anxiety leaks into relationships.
But calm, collaborative parenting builds emotional safety.
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop managing… and start mentoring.
If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—your support helps more families find their footing.
Don't forget about our listening line at 719.347.1106. 
We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.
We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.
Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 
Facebook
 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  
Support the show
Support the show
 
 
The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Are you a grandparent?  If so, listen to this episode.
 Boundaries, burnout, and big feelings—grand parenting can be a joy and a minefield at the same time. We invited Dee Dee Moore, founder of More Than Grand, to help us navigate the messy middle: when “free” childcare starts costing a family its energy, when in-law dynamics get prickly, and when love needs the guardrails of a clear agreement to thrive.

We start with a listener story about an eager grandmother who slid from helping to shouldering everything—until resentment and health issues made the arrangement unsustainable. Dee Dee helps the listener with her question and adds lots of tips when you are deciding to help with childcare. 

Then we turn to feeling shut out by a daughter-in-law. Dee Dee reframes the “gatekeeper” idea and urges us to build a direct relationship with her as a person, not just our child’s spouse. We share examples of compliments that actually land, small trust-building gestures, and how counseling can open space when everyone is stuck. 
We also tackle overbuying—why today’s parents want fewer things—and offer better ways to show love, from experiences to intentional support that fits their home and values.

Underneath it all is an identity shift: moving from fixer to “privileged bystander,” present and steady without calling the shots. We discuss preventing estrangement with early expectation-setting, learning modern safety and care practices, and staying curious instead of reactive. If you’re a new or seasoned grandparent looking for clarity, scripts, and a calmer path forward, this conversation offers tools you can use today.

If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—your support helps more families find their footing.
Don't forget about our listening line at 719.347.1106. 
We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.
We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.
Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 
Facebook
 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  
Support the show

Support the show
 
 
The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This episode is for mothers walking on eggshells.
For daughters who feel judged.
For families who love each other deeply but don’t know how to stop hurting each other.
In this powerful episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise Gorant speaks with Leslie Glass and her daughter Lindsey Glass about the hardest—and most hopeful—parts of the mother-daughter relationship. Co-authors of The Mother-Daughter Relationship Makeover and its companion workbook, Leslie and Lindsey share their deeply personal journey through addiction, family conflict, estrangement, and reconciliation. Together, they explore why these relationships fracture, how communication breaks down, and what real repair actually looks like.
What We Cover:
Why mothers and daughters trigger each other so deeply
The independence vs. control conflict baked into motherhood
How “helpful” comments about food, weight, or appearance become landmines
What makes a fight toxic—and what makes it repairable
Why estrangement can feel safer than staying in conflict
How apologies, accountability, and boundaries rebuild trust
Practical tools for changing communication patterns
Why healing starts with self-work—not changing the other person
Leslie and Lindsey also share practical tools from their workbook—like replacement phrases that diffuse tension, ways to identify triggers before they explode, and why doing the work separately (not together) can be the most honest starting point.
One of the most powerful ideas from this conversation is simple but uncomfortable: "You have to decide whether you want to be right—or whether you want to stay connected."
Healing doesn’t require perfection. It requires awareness, accountability, compassion—and sometimes knowing when to bite your tongue.
We’re also launching our new listener phone line. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.
Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 
Facebook
 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  
Support the show
Support the show
 
 
The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.