Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox

In Buddhism, we're encouraged to cherish others more and deepen our compassion. Some may wonder if there is a contradiction between these heart-opening practices and having healthy boundaries.
But here is the truth: even the Buddha set boundaries.
In the texts, the Buddha frequently chose who to engage with, when to enter noble silence, and how to protect himself so he could serve the world effectively. In fact, true compassion requires boundaries. Sometimes the kindest thing to do for another is to set a strong boundary.
In this episode, JoAnn Fox explores the concept of boundaries through a Buddhist lens. We look at how creating a boundary isn't an act of anger or separation; it's an act of wise compassion for ourselves and others.
According to the American Psychological Association, healthy boundaries are not "walls" to keep people out, but rather "gates" that allow you to manage your energy and safety.
Buddhism offers perspectives to help us find the sweet spot between "porous" boundaries that leave us depleted, and "rigid" boundaries that keep us isolated or limit our growth.
" All the happiness in the world arises from wishing others to be happy
All the suffering in the world arises from wishing ourselves (alone) to be happy."
—Shantideva, Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life
 
Shantideva (1997). A Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life. Translated by Vesna and B. Alan Wallace. Shambala Publications. 
 
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Interested in an online Study Program, visit https://buddhismforeveryone.com/ongoing-buddhist-study-program
To learn about Buddhist Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com or email JoAnn Fox at [email protected]

If you've ever longed for love—and let's be honest, who hasn't?—you'll recognize the familiar dance our minds do. We build the "ideal" in our heads. We make lists of the qualities we need in a partner. We dissect our past heartbreaks like forensic investigators, trying to figure out exactly what went wrong.
 
We search and search, looking outward for that one person who will finally fill the cup. But what if we're looking at the map upside down?
 
Buddhist wisdom suggests that the path to fulfillment isn't about finding the perfect love, but about becoming it. We resolve to become a source of love for others. It's important to note that to "Be Love" isn't a practice just for single people. This practice is for parents, for people with parents, and for those with a partner, neighbors, or co-workers. Essentially, the practice of love opens an endless well of happiness for anyone who tries to get good at it.
 
In Buddhism, love isn't just a warm, fuzzy feeling that washes over you. Love is a verb. It is the active wish for another person to be happy. But more than just a wish, it's a wish with legs, a readiness to actually do something to move the needle on someone else's joy.
 
The intention of love manifests in a million different ways: from the BIG life sacrifices to the small moments, like taking out the trash, or the profound act of accepting someone exactly as they are. When we act from this place, we make others feel seen, understood, and accepted.
 
Essentially, we start giving the world exactly what we've been longing to receive. This is to Be Love. 
 
Cultivating the intention of love has the power to:
- transform relationships
- level up our happiness
- give us profound peace
"Cease to do evil, 
cultivate the good, 
purify the mind; 
this is the teaching of the Buddhas" 
Buddha, Dhammapada (Verse 183)

Find us at the links below: 
Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone
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Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/
Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com
Instagram: @buddhism4everyone
X: @Joannfox77
TikTok: @buddhism4everyone
YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone
To learn more about the new Wednesday evening drop-in classes on Zoom  with JoAnn Fox called 'Being Peace,' visit https://buddhismforeveryone.com/meditation-classes-for-peace
To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com or email JoAnn Fox at [email protected]

Always rely on a happy mind alone. This Buddhist slogan for training the mind isn't about "positive thinking" or just being happy. A "happy mind" refers to a mind that is peaceful and free from delusions, like like anger, jealousy, pride or attachment. 
 
When a delusion like anger is operating in the mind, we no longer see clearly. A delusion is like a warped mirror: everything we see in this mirror is distorted. For example, when we're hurt we might get angry at someone we love. Anger then makes us see that person as the cause of our pain, a threat, so that we speak and act in regrettable ways. 
 
'Always rely on a happy mind alone' reminds us that when our mind isn't peaceful, it can't be trusted. The thoughts arising can't be trusted. Perhaps we need a timeout, a break, or a nap!
 
"When another person makes you suffer, 
it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. 
He does not need punishment; he needs help. 
That's the message he is sending." 
– Thich Nhat Hanh
 
"Always rely on a happy mind alone."--Geshe Chekawa
To learn more about the new Wednesday evening drop-in classes on Zoom with JoAnn Fox called 'Being Peace,' visit https://buddhismforeveryone.com/meditation-classes-for-peace
Find us at the links below: 
Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone
Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/
Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com
Instagram: @buddhism4everyone
X: @Joannfox77
TikTok: @buddhism4everyone
YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone
To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com or email JoAnn Fox at [email protected]

Register for the free classes, Continuing the Walk for Peace: An Inner Peace Toolkit: https://buddhismforeveryone.com/walk-for-peace-toolkit
In this episode, we talk about your monkey. The monkey on your back.
 
You know the one. The brilliant, overachieving, slightly unhinged creature swinging through your mind at 2:00 a.m. reorganizing your life, replaying arguments, drafting emails you will never send.
 
In an old Buddhist story, a man is given a magical monkey by his spiritual teacher. The magical monkey can do anything. Grant any wish.
 
At first, it's amazing. The monkey builds him a palace! But then comes the problem.
"Now what?" the monkey asks.
"What next?"
"More! More!"
 
Day and night, the monkey pesters him. The man can't rest. He can hardly sleep at night.
 
Finally, he returns to the Buddhist master and begs for his help.  The master gives him a single curly hair and says, "Have the monkey make this straight."
 
The monkey pulls it straight. It springs back. He pulls it again. It springs back again. The monkey sits down, completely absorbed in concentration. In mindfulness, the monkey becomes peaceful. And the man finally sleeps. That's the secret.
 
You don't get rid of the monkey mind. You give it something simple and steady to do. Breathe. Be present.
 
Enter: the breath.
When your thoughts are racing, don't argue with them. Don't try to solve your entire existence before lunch. Just gently anchor your attention to one full inhale… and one full exhale.
 
Feel the air enter your nose.
Feel the air in your body as you breathe deeply and slowly.
Watch the breath leaving your nostrils.  
That's it.
 
The breath is your curly hair. It keeps bouncing back. There's always another inhalation, another exhalation. Your mind will wander. Of course it will. That's what monkeys do. When you notice, kindly guide it back.
No judgment. No spiritual performance review.
 
Just come home to the present moment.
 
The present moment is not dramatic. It's not flashy. But it is peaceful. And when you anchor yourself here, even for a few breaths, the monkey in the jungle quiets.
You do not have to straighten every curly hair in your life. You just have to come home to the breath.
And in that simple returning, again and again, the wild monkey becomes your ally. Your friend.
"Don't run back to the past,
don't anticipate the future.
the future has not arrived;
 
and any present phenomenon
you clearly discern in every case.
The unfaltering, the unshakable:
having known that, foster it.
 
Today's the day to keenly work—
who knows, tomorrow may bring death!
For there is no bargain to be struck
with Death and his mighty horde.
 
One who keenly meditates like this,
tireless all night and day:
that's who has one fine night—
so declares the peaceful sage.
—Buddha, One Fine Night Sutra
References and Links
Buddha. The One Fine Night Sutra. Sutta Central (online). Retrieved from: https://suttacentral.net/mn131/en/sujato?lang=en&layout=plain&reference=none¬es=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin
Lama Tsomo (2021). Ancient Wisdom for Our Times. Tibetan Buddhist Practice: Wisdom & Compassion (Starting with Yourself). Published by Namchak Publishing Company LLC, USA. Excerpt, pages 40-41, retrieved from: https://www.namchak.org/community/blog/the-buddhist-story-of-the-monkey-mind/
Find us at the links below: 
Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone
Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/
Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com
Instagram: @buddhism4everyone
X: @Joannfox77
TikTok: @buddhism4everyone
YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone
To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program
To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com or email JoAnn Fox at [email protected]

In The Matrix, the red pill reveals the truth behind appearances and opens the path to freedom. In Buddhism, a realization of the true nature of reality is the ultimate path to freedom. In this episode, we explore how waking up to reality gives us
the ability to reshape who you are because nothing is fixed

learn to bend the "rules" of your reality

unplug from emotional reactivity

Buddha explained the ultimate truth of reality as "emptiness." Emptiness does not mean nothingness. This teaching doesn't mean that nothing exists. We have to ask ourselves, what is reality empty of? Reality is "empty" of being fixed, independent of causes and conditions. For example, when we wake up from a bad dream, we're relieved because we realize that the scary monster was just a creation of our dreaming mind. Buddha said that our waking mind creates all the beautiful and disturbing appearances of ordinary life.
​When someone annoys us, for example, we don't think our mind has anything to do with creating those annoying qualities we perceive. We innocently go about our lives, and an annoying person is just there to ruin our fun. Just as we don't question the realness of the nightmare while we are still sleeping, we don't think our waking mind has anything to do with how our waking life appears to us. 
The Diamond Sutra says:
All conditioned phenomena
Are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, and shadows,
Like dew and lightning.
One should contemplate them in this way.
To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com or email JoAnn Fox at [email protected]
References:
Diamond Sutra. Retrieved from All Worldly Affairs Are Transient - FoGuangPedia https://share.google/OPtZLbx2OkQpUEueB
Find us at the links below: 
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Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/
Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com
Instagram: @buddhism4everyone
X: @Joannfox77
TikTok: @buddhism4everyone
YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone
To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program