SEND Parenting Podcast

• EP 131: Self-regulation for neurodivergent children with Nicola McAllister from The Regulated Child

  What if your child's meltdowns or shutdowns aren't actually about behavior, but biology? Nicola McAllister, education consultant with 30+ years of experience and mother to an autistic son, reveals the science behind self-regulation that transforms how we support our neurodivergent children. Through her compassionate lens, we discover that what looks like "difficult behavior" is actually a stress response—our children's bodies responding to perceived threats with the only tools they currently have available.The conversation unveils Nicola's brilliant "brain house" model, explaining how our children's brains develop from the bottom up, and how stress can trap them in the "basement" of survival responses. When traditional parenting approaches fail, it's because we're trying to reason with a child who physiologically cannot access their reasoning brain in that moment.Instead, Nicola guides us through her self-regulation framework: Goal, Predict, Plan, Do, Review—a collaborative approach that builds executive function skills through practice rather than punishment. Through vivid real-world examples, including her son's struggle with a Mario t-shirt at a social club, she demonstrates how validating our children's concerns and building plans together creates pathways to success.Perhaps most powerfully, she introduces the "Regulate, Relate, Reason" approach—understanding that our children need to feel calm before they can connect, and only then can they reason. This shifts our parenting from reactive to intentional, what Nicola calls "premiership parenting"—requiring us to be several steps ahead, carefully considering our words and approaches.Whether you're struggling with morning routines, hygiene battles, or emotional outbursts, this episode provides both the understanding and practical tools to build meaningful connections with your child. Listen now and transform your approach to supporting your child's developing nervous system.Nicole Mcallister Website:  The Regulated ChildClick here to join our Private SEND Parenting WhatsApp Communitywww.sendparenting.com

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• EP 130: Why are neurodiverse girls being ignored with Sara Donnelly, former headteacher

  Sara Donnelly, a head teacher of 14 years, shares why she's leaving education leadership after witnessing the system repeatedly fail neurodivergent children, in particular, girls. We also delve into why:• Girls with neurodiversity are often missed because they present differently than the stereotypical profile• Signs to watch for in autistic girls include subtle stimming, hypervigilance, and struggling to maintain (not make) friendships• Many professionals still believe myths like "she can't be autistic because she makes eye contact" or "she has friends"• Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) should be addressed by fixing the environment, not the child• Creative solutions like normalising ear defenders for everyone can help neurodivergent children without singling them out• The education system needs radical reform: smaller class sizes, less testing, and personalized learningJoin our private WhatsApp community to connect with other parents navigating their neurodiverse journey.www.sendparenting.com

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• EP 129: Protecting your child online with Emily Keeney of the ICO (Information Commissioner's Office)

  The digital world offers a unique sanctuary for neurodiverse children—a place where they can connect, explore, and engage in ways that might feel challenging in person. But this digital refuge comes with hidden costs as platforms silently harvest our children's personal data, using it in ways most parents don't fully understand.Deputy Commissioner Emily Keaney from the Information Commissioner's Office pulls back the curtain on what's really happening when your child scrolls through social media or plays online games. From recommender systems that create detailed profiles of your child's interests to geolocation settings that can expose their physical whereabouts, the conversation reveals the mechanics of data collection that operate just beneath the surface of your child's favourite apps.What makes this discussion particularly valuable is its practical approach. Rather than inducing panic, Keaney shares concrete successes where regulatory pressure has forced major platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and X (formerly Twitter) to implement stronger privacy protections specifically for young users. She explains how sophisticated age verification technologies are becoming increasingly common, ensuring children receive appropriate safeguards even when they've managed to circumvent parental controls.For parents of neurodiverse children who may be especially vulnerable online, the episode offers a perfect balance of technical insight and practical guidance. Learn why simply checking privacy settings isn't enough and how ongoing conversations about digital safety can be naturally integrated into family life. Discover the power of showing genuine curiosity about your child's online experiences rather than approaching them with suspicion.What emerges is a heartening message: parents aren't alone in this fight. Through significant fines and regulatory action, the ICO is steadily shifting the burden of protection away from overwhelmed parents and onto the powerful platforms profiting from our children's attention. Join us to understand how you can better protect your child while still allowing them to benefit from the connection and community the digital world provides.Got questions about protecting your child online? Join our private WhatsApp community where parents share experiences and support each other through the challenges of raising neurodiverse children in a digital age.ICO Website Children's CodeEmily Keaney’s Blog – Protecting Children’s DataPress Release on TikTok and Investigations www.sendparenting.com

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• EP 128: Most children have multiple diagnosis with Lizzie Shearing and Liz Britton from Learning DNA

  The gap between what neurodiverse children need and what traditional education provides continues to widen, leaving parents desperate for answers while waiting years for diagnoses and appropriate support. In this eye-opening conversation, Lizzie Shearing and Liz Britton share how Learning DNA's revolutionary approach is transforming outcomes for children with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and other neurodevelopmental differences.At the heart of their methodology is the recognition that most children don't fit neatly into diagnostic boxes. "I think what really struck me in my role as a SENCO was that there isn't really one child I've ever met that only has one difficulty," explains Lizzie, highlighting why the traditional siloed pathways to support often fail our most vulnerable learners. Their 360-degree assessment evaluates fourteen distinct learning skills, creating a comprehensive picture that prioritizes interventions based on individual needs rather than diagnostic labels.One of the most fascinating revelations is how frequently visual processing difficulties are misdiagnosed as dyslexia. Lizzie shares how proper screening and intervention improved her own daughter's reading speed by 25% overnight through specialized glasses and vision therapy. This exemplifies Learning DNA's evidence-based approach, which looks beyond labels to identify and address the root causes of learning barriers.The conversation explores their innovative therapeutic programs, including movement therapy using AI tracking technology, personalized learning programs, vision therapy, and auditory integration training. What makes their approach particularly powerful is how they bring together families, schools and specialists to create holistic support systems with practical strategies for both home and classroom environments.For parents navigating the overwhelming journey of supporting a neurodiverse child, this episode offers both hope and practical guidance. Discover how understanding your child's complete learning profile – rather than chasing diagnoses – could be the key to unlocking their potential and transforming their educational experience. Could your child's learning challenges be different than you think?Click here for Learning DNA enter SEND30 for a 30% discountClick here for Private SEND Parenting WhatsAPP Communitywww.sendparenting.com

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• EP 127: Parenting Your Neurodivergent Child with Diane Dempster, co-founder of Impact Parents

  We dive into a powerful conversation about parenting neurodivergent children from the inside out with guest Diane Dempster, coach, speaker, and co-founder of Impact Parents. Diane shares her personal journey as a "recovering yelling mom" and how she discovered that the way we show up as parents matters more than what we do.• How the "Super Mom trap" catches neurodivergent parents who try to do everything for their children• Why parents are "the missing link" in helping neurodivergent children thrive • Recognising when you're having a "wobbly" day and what to do about it• Practical tools like the "3-5 challenge" for setting realistic expectations• Questioning whether difficult behaviours are "naughty or neurological"• Reframing self-care as "bringing your needs into the equation"• The importance of asking for help and modelling this skill for your children• Setting an intention to do something for yourself every day, no matter how small• Breaking free from internal critical voices that may not even be your ownIf you're looking for a safe space to connect with other parents navigating their neurodiverse journey, our private WhatsApp community offers support, insights and real conversations with like-minded parents who truly understand. Join the conversation today. You can find the link in the show notes.Click here for Impact ParentsClick here for the SEND Parenting Private WhatsApp Communitywww.sendparenting.com

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