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Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher

Emily Fletcher
Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
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168 episodes

  • Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher

    147. Why Isn't Everyone Getting Unstuck from a Flat World? with Dr. Meenal Agarwal

    06/10/2026 | 1h 9 mins.
    What if vision is one of the missing pieces in the anxiety, brain fog, and overwhelm you have been blaming on yourself?

    In this episode, Emily Fletcher sits down with Dr. Meenal Agarwal, a board-certified optometrist, spatial awareness expert, and author of Stuck in a Flat World. Dr. Agarwal is a leading authority on the eye-brain connection and the person who coined the term spatial awareness processing disorder. Her work shows how a screen-heavy life disrupts the brain's ability to judge distance, track motion, and move through real-world space.

    Dr. Agarwal explains why the parietal lobe works like your brain's GPS, why a phone becomes a shield in crowded places, and why spatial awareness and empathy are more connected than most of us realize. She also shares her own story, from a confident cross-border driver to someone who feared parking lots, and what brought her back. Emily connects it all to Ziva: the way you use your eyes changes your brain, just as meditation changes its architecture.

    You leave with simple practices for before, during, and after screen time, including the 20-20-20 rule, a way to map a room before you enter it, and games that build spatial awareness in kids.

    In this episode, Dr. Agarwal explores:

    – Why "cut your screen time" misses the point, and what screens are stealing instead
    – The difference between near work and peripheral vision, and why the parietal lobe is your brain's GPS
    – Why you feel off balance after hours at a screen, and why so many kids get labeled instead of supported
    – The shift she recommends: prime your peripheral awareness before the screen, not after
    – The 20-20-20 rule, and Emily's eyes-open version of Come to Your Senses
    – Spatial empathy versus emotional empathy, and the Costco effect
    – Your brain's nightly recalibration, and how Emily uses promises and consequences with her own phone
    – What her year and a half of research taught her, and the baby steps that brought her back
    – Practices for kids: walk and talk, a daily audio phone call, the finger game, and the color walk
    – Why vision is about far more than 20/20, and what an eye exam can reveal about the brain and nervous system

    Key Moments:

    00:00 – Welcome, and who Dr. Meenal Agarwal is
    02:50 – What screens are stealing, and why "cut your screen time" misses the point
    05:58 – The milestones we are missing: driving, biking, going out on our own
    07:34 – Ventral and dorsal streams: what near work does to the brain's fear and balance centers
    09:10 – Why you wobble after hours at a screen, and why we label clumsy kids
    10:07 – The phone as a shield: a yoga studio story
    15:21 – Prime before you scroll: the shift that works for adults and kids
    18:27 – Come to Your Senses: Emily's eyes-open version of a Ziva practice
    19:03 – Why your eyes are brain tissue, plus iridology and Drishti
    23:10 – The 20-20-20 rule, and why looking away wakes up both streams
    28:05 – The empathy study, and spatial empathy versus emotional empathy
    32:04 – Map the room before you walk in: the Costco effect
    33:46 – Emily connects the dots: the eyes, the nervous system, and the architecture of the brain
    43:26 – Your brain's GPS needs a nightly recalibration, plus Emily's midnight promise
    51:24 – The moment on the stairs that sent her searching for answers
    55:56 – Library Saturdays, grocery aisles at night, and one friend at a time
    58:44 – The finger game and the color walk: spatial awareness as play
    1:06:30 – "If you don't know where you are in space, you won't know where you are in your own story"

    About Dr. Meenal Agarwal

    Dr. Meenal Agarwal is a board-certified optometrist (Doctor of Optometry, University of Waterloo), a spatial awareness expert, and a leading voice on the eye-brain connection. She owns three eye care practices in Ontario and hosts the podcast Uncover Your Eyes: The Truth About Health and Wellness. Her book, Stuck in a Flat World: How Screens Rewire Our Brains, Spatial Awareness, and Sense of Safety, is out Nov 2.

    Get the book: Stuck in a Flat World →
    drmeenal.com/stuck-in-a-flat-world
    Website: drmeenal.com
    Instagram: @drmeenalagarwal

    This episode is sponsored by Timeline. Support your mitochondrial health and get 20% off Mitopure at timeline.com/ziva.

    🔗 MORE FROM EMILY & ZIVA:

    Learn Ziva Meditation: preview.zivameditation.com
    Free masterclass: learn.zivameditation.com
    Get 15% off with promo code WHYTHIS: whythis.zivameditation.com
    Follow us on Instagram: @zivameditation
  • Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher

    146. Why Isn't Everyone Dancing Their Feelings? with Sah D’Simone

    29/09/2026 | 1h 4 mins.
    What if ninety seconds on a dance floor could do what ten years of therapy couldn't?

    In this episode, Emily Fletcher sits down with Sah D'Simone, a spiritual teacher, humanitarian, and bestselling author whose approach to healing was forged through over 300 days of silent meditation, clinical spiritual care training at Cedars-Sinai Hospital, and years of direct service in the margins. Sah is the creator of the Somatic Activated Healing (SAH) Method and founder of the Somatic Dance Institute, and his work has drawn collaborations with Harvard, Columbia, and the UN.

    They trace Sah's path from meditation teacher to dance mystic: the night in Bali when a trance on the dance floor cracked him open into a full-body recognition of strangers dancing beside him, the year his mother died and everything he'd built around joy fell apart, and why he believes talking about trauma can trap you in a cycle of blame while dancing it moves the charge all the way through. They also get into how Christian missionaries turned the god of dance into the devil, the nuanced difference between chasing pleasure and finding it inside whatever is true, and why no feeling, however big, is the one that finally breaks you.

    In this episode, Sah explores:

    Why talking about your trauma can trap you in a cycle of blame, while dancing it moves the charge all the way through

    The night in Bali when a trance on the dance floor cracked him open into a full-body recognition of strangers he'd apparently known before

    How Christian missionaries turned Pan, the god of dance and revelry, into the image of the devil

    The difference between chasing pleasure as an escape and finding the ecstasy inside whatever is true, even rage or grief

    What his mother's death taught him about prayer, pain, and the limits of visualization

    A Vipassana retreat gone sideways, and the wave of full-body release that followed once he stopped resisting

    Opening for a DJ with five minutes' notice, and the closest he has come to a physical experience of the divine on a stage

    Why no feeling is too big to survive, and what actually makes people exhausted

    Key Moments:

    00:00 – Emily's introduction: from meditation teacher to dance mystic, and why Harvard and Columbia came calling
    03:02 – Why the most prestigious universities on the planet are studying his work
    05:10 – His mother's death, and the six months of "sanctioned insanity" that followed
    07:48 – The Osho line: why a woman dancing is closer to God than a man meditating
    08:40 – Why talking about your trauma can trap you in a cycle of blame and victimhood
    14:11 – How Christian missionaries turned Pan, the god of dance, into the devil
    19:40 – The night in Bali when dance cracked him open into a past-life recognition on the floor
    27:06 – 2020, and the moment "the goddess" rewired his entire career overnight
    28:00 – "Part rave, part ritual": why the fastest, most industrial beats create the safest place to disappear
    30:47 – His pushback on spiritual bypassing in ceremony culture, and Emily's response
    40:34 – What his mother's death taught him about pain, prayer, and the edges of joy
    42:27 – A Vipassana retreat, "princess and the pea," and the full-body release that followed
    44:23 – The Iceland eclipse festival, and opening for a DJ with five minutes' notice
    49:31 – The first-ever multi-day festival at the pyramids, and the Egypt eclipse he's building toward in 2027
    51:16 – What he'd say to the exhausted parent of three who says they don't have time to dance
    54:05 – His one request: dance to a single song, eyes closed
    58:04 – A Lakota elder's line: all the suffering on the planet traces back to uncried tears

    About Sah D'Simone

    Sah D'Simone is a spiritual teacher, humanitarian, and bestselling author of Spiritually Sassy and Spiritually, We. He is the creator of the Somatic Activated Healing (SAH) Method and founder of the Somatic Dance Institute, where he has trained teachers and guided communities worldwide in trauma-informed, body-based practice. A chaplain intern in spiritual care at Cedars-Sinai Hospital and guest teacher at Columbia University, his work has been recognized with the City of Los Angeles CARE Award. He hosts the podcast Solving the Riddle of Being Human.

    Website: sahdsimone.com
    Instagram: @sahdsimone

    This episode is sponsored by Timeline.

    Support your mitochondrial health and get 20% off Mitopure at timeline.com/ziva.

    🔗 MORE FROM EMILY & ZIVA:

    Learn Ziva Meditation: preview.zivameditation.com
    Free masterclass: learn.zivameditation.com
    Get 15% off with promo code WHYTHIS: whythis.zivameditation.com
    Follow us on Instagram: @zivameditation
  • Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher

    145. Why Isn't Everyone Priestessing Themselves? with Elayne Kalila

    22/09/2026 | 1h 10 mins.
    What if the word apocalypse was never about the end of the world, but about what gets revealed once the veils come down?

    In this episode, Emily Fletcher sits down with Elayne Kalila, a psychotherapist turned priestess and the founder of the Priestess Presence Mystery School, for a conversation that travels 30,000 years back to trace the deliberate erasure of feminine spiritual authority. Elayne walks through the Venus of Willendorf, the moment agriculture and land ownership gave rise to patriarchy, and why the women burned as witches were so often the post-menopausal landowners, healers, and midwives, not young women at all.

    They also get into Freud's diagnosis of hysteria and its roots in the idea of a wandering womb, why 43 million American women between 45 and 65 are entering their power rather than their decline, and Elayne's own confronting practice for holding the men causing harm on an altar of healing instead of hatred. This is a conversation about rage as initiation, aging as beauty, and what it means to priestess yourself and everyone around you through change.

    In this episode, Elayne explores:

    Why the witch burnings targeted post-menopausal landowners, healers, and midwives, not young women

    How agriculture and land ownership seeded patriarchy 10,000 years ago

    Why "apocalypse" actually means the lifting of the veils

    Her altar practice: naming powerful men who've caused harm and calling them into their hearts

    Freud's diagnosis of hysteria and its roots in the idea of a wandering womb

    Why 43 million American women between 45 and 65 are entering their power, not their decline

    Isis and her twin sister Nephthys, and Inanna's seven gates as the oldest map for this transition

    Why rage in perimenopause is information, not dysfunction

    Key Moments:

    00:00 – Emily's tribute to Elayne, and welcome to Why Isn't Everyone Priestessing Themselves
    01:20 – Introducing Elayne Kalila: psychotherapist turned priestess
    04:50 – Going back 30,000 years: the Venus of Willendorf and the first evidence of goddess worship
    05:42 – How agriculture and land ownership seeded patriarchy 10,000 years ago
    06:56 – The witch burnings: who was really targeted, and why
    09:59 – The apocalypse, meaning the lifting of the veils
    13:34 – The case for the feminine, made directly to the man who thinks this isn't for him
    21:48 – Elayne's altar practice: naming powerful men who've caused harm and calling them home
    35:42 – What it means to priestess yourself: navigating the unknown without a map
    47:54 – Isis and her twin sister Nephthys, and the echo of Inanna and Ereshkigal
    50:53 – Hysteria: how a wandering womb became a medical diagnosis for a woman's power
    53:04 – 43 million American women are entering perimenopause, and why that's power, not decline
    58:05 – Premenstrual rage as information, not dysfunction
    1:00:45 – Inanna's seven gates as the oldest map we have for this transition
    1:01:54 – Aging as beauty: the story of her partner and her white hair

    About Elayne Kalila

    Elayne Kalila Doughty, MA, MFT, is a psychotherapist turned priestess and the founder of the Priestess Presence Mystery School, where she has spent over a decade ordaining women into the Divine Feminine mysteries. She is the author of The Sacred Call of the Ancient Priestess and The Magdalene Rose Oracle, and hosts The Red Podcast.

    Website: elaynekalila.com
    Instagram: @elayne.kalila

    This episode is sponsored by Timeline.
    Support your mitochondrial health and get 20% off Mitopure at timeline.com/ziva

    🔗 MORE FROM EMILY & ZIVA:

    Join Ziva Insiders: whythis.zivameditation.com
    Learn Ziva Meditation: preview.zivameditation.com
    Free masterclass: learn.zivameditation.com
    Follow us on Instagram: @zivameditation
  • Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher

    144. Why Isn't Everyone Using Pleasure to Reclaim Their Power? with Regena Tomashauer

    15/09/2026 | 57 mins.
    What if the darkest season of your life isn't a punishment, but an initiation?

    In this episode, Emily Fletcher sits down with her friend and former roommate Regena Thomashauer, known around the world as Mama Gena, for a conversation about her new book, On Our Knees. Regena is the New York Times bestselling author of Pussy: A Reclamation and the founder of the School of Womanly Arts, and this book was written by hand, one card and one page at a time, over years of 5am mornings.

    Regena walks through the myth of Inanna's descent into the underworld, why she believes hell is a patriarchal invention built to keep women small while the underworld exists to make them whole, and what it costs a woman to keep playing “fine” instead of the full range of who she is. She also shares her own story: a goddess who visited her bedside at five years old, an acting class that told her she had no sensuality, and the years at what she calls “the Vatican of orgasm” that taught her pleasure is a biological miracle, not a luxury. The conversation closes with Regena reading live from the book's chapter on Kali, the goddess who arrives precisely when a life has grown too small to hold who you're becoming.

    Get the book: On Our Knees by Regena Thomashauer, available now →
    https://mamagenas.com/onourknees/

    In this episode, Regena explores:

    Why hell is a patriarchal invention, and why the underworld belongs to the feminine instead

    The myth of Inanna, and why a throne can get a woman adored but never whole

    Her own childhood visits from an unnamed goddess, and years spent searching for her

    The acting class that sent her looking for orgasm instead of a callback

    Life inside what she calls “the Vatican of orgasm,” and the neurochemistry that let her heal

    Why pleasure regulates the nervous system in ways therapy and to-do lists cannot

    A live reading from On Our Knees: the Kali chapter

    Raising sons inside a goddess-centered household, without leaving them out of the story

    Key Moments:

    00:00 – Welcome back Regena Thomashauer, and the poetry behind On Our Knees
    03:11 – Why she's proudest of how vulnerable this book is: “Broken is the new shiny”
    04:48 – The erotic as the doorway that opens both radiance and rupture
    08:49 – Hell versus the underworld: two very different stories about the dark
    12:02 – The myth of Inanna, and why the goddess runs an initiation, not a prison
    14:45 – The 88 keys: why “I'm fine” is the smallest note women are allowed to play
    19:47 – What the goddess says instead of “you're failing”: “You're mid initiation”
    21:38 – Isis and her twin sister Nephthys, and Emily's own discovery of the unmanifest
    22:45 – The goddess who visited Regena's bedside at five years old
    25:02 – The acting class that sent her looking for orgasm instead of a callback
    28:15 – Inside Lafayette Morehouse, “the Vatican of orgasm”
    30:01 – The neurochemistry of pleasure: oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, and prolactin
    32:15 – For the exhausted single mother who thinks pleasure is a luxury she can't afford
    38:02 – Why pleasure regulates the nervous system in ways nothing else does
    41:56 – Live reading from On Our Knees: the chapter on Kali
    46:35 – Why she wrote the book for every gender, but chooses to lead with the feminine
    48:08 – Raising sons inside a goddess-centered household without leaving them out
    53:59 – Regena's deepest hope for what this book changes

    About Regena Thomashauer

    Regena Thomashauer, known to millions as Mama Gena, is the New York Times bestselling author of Pussy: A Reclamation and the founder of the School of Womanly Arts, where she has spent almost three decades helping women reclaim their pleasure, power, and erotic aliveness. Her new book, On Our Knees: Loving Your Life Even When You Hate What's Happening, is available now.

    Website: mamagenas.com
    Instagram: @mamagena

    🔗 MORE FROM EMILY & ZIVA:

    Learn Ziva Meditation: preview.zivameditation.com
    Free masterclass: learn.zivameditation.com
    Get 15% off with promo code WHYTHIS: whythis.zivameditation.com
    Follow us on Instagram: @zivameditation
  • Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher

    143. Why Isn't Everyone Raising Conscious Children? with Dr. Shefali

    08/09/2026 | 1h 3 mins.
    The average age a child first sees porn online is nine to eleven. They are not looking for it. It finds them.

    In this episode, Emily Fletcher sits down with Dr. Shefali, who has been on Oprah more than any other guest and is one of the most trusted voices in conscious parenting alive today. She joins Emily with two new books just weeks apart, Raising Conscious Sons and Raising Conscious Daughters, and the two go deep on the questions Emily is sitting with in real time as a mother to a seven-year-old boy.

    They talk about what a screen is actually giving a child that a parent can learn to give instead, why the average boy is never initiated into his own sexuality or his own masculinity, and why that single gap traces a direct line to shame, misogyny, and the abuse now surfacing everywhere from the Epstein files to a website called Motherless. Dr. Shefali also opens up about what writing these two books dissolved in her, a judgment of an entire generation she didn't know she was carrying, and a new compassion for men she wasn't expecting to find.

    In this episode, Dr. Shefali explores:

    Why the average age for a child's first exposure to porn is nine to eleven, and why no one is looking for it

    What a screen is actually giving a child, and how to build an analog version of that same reward at home

    Why sons need to be initiated into their sexuality the same way a daughter is initiated into her body

    The tribal initiation story behind the book Of Water and the Spirit, and what it reveals is missing today

    Why testosterone is a hormone of pursuit that needs somewhere to go, not a behavior to suppress

    The four pillars of raising a conscious son: mentors, authenticity, accountability, competency

    What changed in Dr. Shefali's own judgment of an entire generation once she wrote these books

    Why remothering the good men already in your life may be the fastest path to protecting your daughters

    The risk no parenting book saw coming: chatbot friends, chatbot lovers, and children gambling their parents' money online

    What never changes about a child's needs, no matter how fast the world moves around them

    Key Moments:

    00:00 – Welcome back Dr. Shefali, and why this conversation was two years in the making
    02:11 – The real challenge of raising a son across two households
    03:44 – Detox and withdrawal: what happens the moment the iPad disappears
    05:55 – Building an analog surrogate for the dopamine a screen provides
    09:38 – The average age kids first see porn, and why it finds them unbidden
    11:04 – Sacred sexuality, shame, and what pornography is teaching in its place
    12:08 – Talking to a son about arousal the same way you'd talk to a daughter about her period
    14:00 – A hundred kids interviewed, and the one answer nobody expected
    17:33 – Life force is neutral: Emily's own kundalini awakening and learning to receive
    20:38 – Why Raising Conscious Sons exists: Adolescence, misogyny, and a culture in crisis
    21:34 – Isis remembers Osiris: the myth behind putting a wounded masculine back together
    22:27 – The site called Motherless, and 81 million views in a single month
    24:01 – Of Water and the Spirit: a stolen initiation into manhood, reclaimed
    26:38 – Sovereignty for daughters, tribe for sons: why the initiation is different
    29:46 – The Urban Explorers: how boys build their own dangerous rites of passage
    34:39 – The Hadza hunt, and why testosterone needs somewhere to go
    37:11 – The four pillars of conscious masculinity
    42:52 – What writing these books dissolved in Dr. Shefali's own judgment
    46:37 – Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, and remothering the men already in your life
    49:05 – The Pac-Man fix: what happened when Emily brought a screen into her own house
    51:20 – Why the books are already outdated: chatbots, AI relationships, and kids gambling online
    53:59 – What never changes: safety, soothing, and significance
    58:44 – Retiring as "the mother," and letting a 23-year-old daughter adult on her own

    About Dr. Shefali:

    Dr. Shefali Tsabary holds a doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and is a New York Times bestselling author who pioneered the conscious parenting movement. She has appeared on Oprah more times than any other guest and is the author of nine books, including The Conscious Parent, The Awakened Family, A Radical Awakening, and The Parenting Map. Her two newest books, Raising Conscious Sons and Raising Conscious Daughters, are available now.

    Website: drshefali.com
    Instagram: @DrShefali

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    🔗 MORE FROM EMILY & ZIVA:

    Learn Ziva Meditation: preview.zivameditation.com
    Free masterclass: learn.zivameditation.com
    Get 15% off with promo code WHYTHIS: whythis.zivameditation.com
    Follow us on Instagram: @zivameditation
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About Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
Welcome to Why Isn't Everyone Doing This with Emily Fletcher. Each week we’ll explore some of the most spine-tingling, potent modalities that can give you the kind of bliss and pleasure that is your birthright. No topic is off limits: We’ll dive into everything from breathwork to psychedelics, from meditation to BDSM. Join Emily in conversation with scientists, doctors, healers, and innovative thinkers to reveal the tools that have radically changed their lives, and that very well may change yours, too. We can’t wait to hear which one has you asking, “Why isn’t everyone doing this?”
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