Just One Thing for Parents with Dr Bettina Hohnen

What happens when life throws your family a curveball?

In this special long-form episode, I'm joined by Dr Rebecca Chilvers and Dr David Trickey, both Consultant Clinical Psychologists who specialise in supporting families through trauma, loss, uncertainty, and unexpected challenges.
Together, we explore what happens when the future you imagined for your child or family suddenly changes. We discuss guilt, shame, grief, uncertainty, and the stories we tell ourselves when difficult things happen.
We also talk about why parents often feel pressure to fix things, why compassion matters more than certainty, and how relationships can help us navigate even the hardest experiences.
This is a thoughtful conversation about parenting through the unexpected and finding a way forward when life doesn't go to plan.

What's one supportive sentence you can say to an anxious or OCD child that helps them feel both understood and capable?
When children are caught in anxiety or OCD, parents often feel desperate to fix it, reassure them, or make the distress stop. But in this episode, psychotherapists Demetra Brege and Will Sessions explain why some of these very natural responses can accidentally keep anxiety going.
Together, they introduce a simple but powerful idea from the SPACE parenting framework (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions): the "mac and cheese" response. A two-part statement that combines validation with confidence.
We explore why anxiety works like a smoke alarm, how children look to parents to understand whether they are safe, and why parents do not cause their child's anxiety — even though their responses can make a meaningful difference over time.
Demetra and Will explain the difference between validating distress and agreeing with danger, and why children need to hear both: "I know this feels hard" and "I believe you can handle it." We also discuss the SPACE approach developed by Eli Lebowitz and his book Breaking Free of Childhood Anxiety and OCD.
This episode is full of compassionate, practical guidance for parents supporting children with anxiety, OCD, school worries, separation anxiety, and overwhelming fears.

What's at the heart of all good rules and boundaries in the home?
If you've ever found yourself in a stand-off with your child over screens, curfews, or simply getting out the door on time, this episode is for you. 
Boundaries are one of the most common – and most challenging – parts of parenting, especially as children move into the teenage years.
In this episode, I'm joined by Rachel Richards, former BBC journalist and host of the Untangling Teenagers podcast. Rachel brings together science, lived experience, and deep curiosity about family life to help parents rethink how boundaries really work.
Together, we explore a change in how we think about boundaries – from control and towards connection. Rachel explains why unconditional love and respect sit at the heart of effective boundaries and how teenagers interpret our words through a lens of status and respect, so what we intend as guidance can often be heard as judgement. 
We talk about the importance of curiosity over judgement, and why asking "why?" opens up more meaningful conversations than jumping straight to consequences, especially when children push back or make mistakes. We also look at the difference between natural consequences and imposed punishments, and why the latter so often backfire in the heat of the moment.
This is a thoughtful and reassuring conversation for any parent trying to find that balance between being understanding and holding firm boundaries, without losing the relationship along the way.

What does your child really need when their emotions feel overwhelming?
In this episode, I'm joined by Helen Wilde, a systemic psychotherapist and DBT therapist with over 25 years of experience working in CAMHS with children, young people, and families. Together, we explore how ideas from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) can support emotional regulation in everyday parenting.
Helen explains that when children are overwhelmed, they're not able to think things through or respond to solutions. What they need first is validation — a sense that their feelings are understood. This might be as simple as acknowledging their experience: "I can see why you feel upset."
We talk about the difference between being emotionally "above the line" (dysregulated) and "below the line" (calmer). When children are above the line, connection comes before problem-solving. Over time, these small shifts in how we respond can make a meaningful difference.
Helen shares that many families notice change when parents move from trying to fix emotions to first understanding them.
DBT was originally developed to support individuals experiencing intense emotional distress, including self-harm and suicidal thoughts. However, as Helen explains, many of its core principles are deeply relevant for all families. At its heart, DBT helps us understand emotions, respond to distress more effectively, and strengthen relationships.
Link to Inside Out clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT6FdhKriB8

How do parents know when to worry about their child's mental wellbeing?
In this episode, I am joined by developmental psychologist Laura Dimler to explore one of the most common and anxiety-provoking questions parents face.
When your child is struggling, it can feel like an impossible puzzle. You don't want to overreact or pathologise what might be a normal phase. But equally, you don't want to miss something important.
Laura brings a calm, science-informed framework to help parents step back and make sense of what they're seeing. Rather than focusing on one behaviour or one difficult moment, she encourages us to look at patterns over time and within context.
Together, we explore how child development is not a straight line. There are periods of progress, but also regression, big emotions, and moments that can feel overwhelming for both children and parents.
You can find out more about Laura Dimler and her work here: https://lauradimler.substack.com/