Middling Along

• Dr Jackie Gray on the growing number of Carents and how her platform can support us

  In this episode I chat with Dr. Jackie Gray about Carents, a UK-based platform she created to give a voice and practical support to unpaid adult carers — the large, often invisible group caring for ageing parents. Jackie shares how the platform started as an information site in 2020 and has evolved into a free, comprehensive hub offering legal guidance, NHS navigation, peer support, and proactive information delivery. The discussion covers the growing demand as the population ages, the emotional and practical burdens on carers, the impact on workplaces, and how Carents addresses these challenges through community, education, and collaboration with partners. Carents began as an information website in 2020 to provide objective, non-commercial guidance for carers who were overwhelmed by sales-led options. It has expanded to include a thriving community, proactive information delivery (emails, e-booklets, webinars), and access to wider expertise, all offered for free. The research highlights the distinctive challenges of caring for older adults at home, including managing two homes, long travel for care, and a substantial emotional load. In their ‘Carents in the Workplace’ study, 71% of respondents reduced hours, changed roles, or left work due to caregiving responsibilities, underscoring the economic and personal impact. National data show about 60% of carers are women (40% men), with women often taking on the heavier, more time-consuming tasks. Increasingly, caregivers juggle multiple generations (so-called ‘club sandwich carers’), menopause-related health issues, and retirement/pension implications—creating long-term health and financial inequality. There are currently 1.5 million sandwich carers in the UK. The number of adults aged over 85 is projected to DOUBLE over the next 15 years - putting additional strain on the NHS, social care, individuals and families. Carents is free to access, offering both peer support and practical resources (legal basics, care service selection, dementia info, arthritis care, etc.). In five years the platform has grown to 7,000+ community members and 55,000+ email subscribers.  Jackie continues to push for systemic improvements in how society, workplaces, and services recognize and support carers, including workplace rights and flexible arrangements. Visit carents.co.uk to access information, join the community, or participate in events and webinars.  You can also reach Jackie at [email protected] If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. You can also find me at www.thetripleshift.org / www.managingthemenpause.com / www.holdingupthesky.com  connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/  follow along on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/ or subscribe to my Substack at https://middlingalong.substack.com/ 

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• Lou Furby on MenoTalk - how Specsavers walk the talk in menopause support

  In this episode I chat to Lou Furby, Specsavers’ UK D&I lead, who shares how Specsavers built a workplace menopause support program from the ground up. We cover the creation of MenoTalk, the importance of inclusive, cross-functional involvement, the role of top-down sponsorship and allyship, practical strategies for creating a supportive workplace culture around menopause, and how to sustain momentum with education, language, and data. Packed with actionable tips for anyone aiming to start or grow a menopause-focused employee resource or wellbeing initiative. Key quotes “Don’t try and do it all on your own. Get the right stakeholders involved. Have a steering group, a co-chair, and a sponsor.” “Pick off the low hanging fruit. Pick off the stuff that you can do and implement quickly.” “It’s a war, not a battle.” (on sustaining momentum and not letting initiatives stall) “Education and information was absolutely key.” (on the foundation for successful engagement) “Language matters. Be direct and transparent about what menopause is.” (on avoiding euphemisms and building credibility) “We can’t mandate everything in a joint venture, so we rely on leadership visibility and storytelling to drive engagement.” Practical takeaways for HR & wellbeing teams: Start with a steering group: bring cross-functional representation (HR/ER, facilities, IT, wellbeing/D&I) and appoint a co-chair to share the load. Secure an advocate sponsor: a trusted, visible leader in the business to champion the initiative. Listen first: let people’s needs drive the program; avoid overloading participants with campaigns before trust is built. Use language that’s clear and factual: don’t shy away from the terminology of menopause and related symptoms. Connect with external expertise: partner with specialists to provide credible education and resources.  Implement quick wins: pick “low hanging fruit” that deliver tangible benefits.  Align with broader wellbeing and D&I goals: link the initiative to accreditation (Wellbeing of Women Workplace pledge) and overall staff welfare programs. Consider store-level realities: in retail, tailor adjustments to individual roles (e.g., door duty vs. back office) and support teams accordingly. Support managers with tools and training: give managers a framework for having compassionate, validating conversations. Provide holistic support: combine access to private care, wellbeing apps (Headspace), and flexible adjustments to support employees. Three actionable next steps you can take Create a cross-functional steering group and appoint a co-chair and a sponsor to lead a menopause initiative in your organization. Sign up for the Wellbeing of Women Workplace pledge and plan an introductory menopause education session with an external expert. Start a candid conversation with your HR/ER team about how to support line managers in having empathetic, validated conversations about menopause with their teams; aim to roll out basic manager training.   Resources: Connect with Lou over on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lou-furby-49290844/ For menopause training and awareness sessions: www.managingthemenopause.com   If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. You can also find me at http://www.thetripleshift.org   connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/   follow along on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/  or subscribe to my Substack at https://middlingalong.substack.com/ 

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• Erin Gallagher on Hype Women: Breaking Free from Mean Girls, Patriarchy, and Systems Silencing You

  My guest this time is Erin Gallagher - CEO of Ella and author of Hype Women: Breaking Free from Mean Girls, Patriarchy, and Systems Silencing You. Erin shares the inspiration behind the Hype Women movement and subsequent book. She explains how a single, intuitive post about celebrating other women sparked a global movement that reframed how women show up for one another. The conversation dives into unlearning decades of conditioning, rebuilding an “operating system” that prioritizes calm and self-care, and reconfiguring the ways women deploy their various forms of capital (human, social, financial, political) to support each other. Erin also walks through practical strategies for boundaries, managing expectations within family and work circles, and the daily actions that accumulate into meaningful cultural change. We end with practical takeaways for listeners to start hyping other women and creating a more supportive, less competitive ecosystem.   Key takeaways Unlearning and rewiring your operating system takes time and deliberate effort. It’s not overnight, but small, daily shifts accumulate into lasting change. Hype is active and transactional: hype requires action. It’s about transferring capital (not just admiration) to support other women and yourself. The hype economy rests on four forms of capital: Human capital: your experience, expertise, and knowledge you can share. Social capital: your network and the introductions you can make. Political capital: your reputation and platform. Financial capital: money and investments you can deploy. Boundaries are powerful and often resisted by others who benefited from your lack of boundaries. Erin shares this quote from Emma Gannon: “The only people who get upset when you start setting boundaries are the ones who benefited from you not having them.” It’s possible to reparent and renegotiate relationships with family (especially parents) as you evolve. This can be painful but is often essential for long-term wellbeing. The “could, should, would” framework helps decision-making: Could: are you capable of doing this? Should: does it serve a greater goal or bring usefulness? Would: would you still choose this option given your values and desires? Owning your worth and choosing yourself is a form of radical self-respect that challenges intergenerational patterns of self-sacrifice. Reclaiming unpaid labor and boundaries can free substantial time and energy, enabling more impactful engagement with work and family. Gatekeeping among women is common but counterproductive; sharing knowledge and opportunities strengthens everyone. Real conversations with close family (even when difficult) can accelerate healing and transformation. If direct dialogue isn’t possible, writing or voice recordings can help you process and release trauma. Suggested actions for listeners Do a personal life audit: where are you depleted, and where do you feel energized? Reallocate time and energy away from draining activities toward high-leverage, fulfilling ones. Practice boundary-setting: start with small steps and observe who reacts; use boundaries as a compass for where your time and energy should go. Identify and deploy your own four forms of capital to support other women (and invite them to contribute to you in return). Read or listen to Hype Women to understand the practical frameworks Erin shares and apply them to your own life. Hype Women: Breaking Free from Mean Girls, Patriarchy and Systems Silencing You (out 7 October in the UK and October 14 in the US) https://www.hypewomen.com/about https://www.waterstones.com/book/hype-women/erin-gallagher/9781394329502   If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. Where to find me: Join me over at www.holdingupthesky.com  Book in coaching with me at http://www.thetripleshift.org   Find my menopause in the workplace support at www.managingthemenopause.com  Connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/   Follow along on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/  Or subscribe to my weekly(ish) Substack at https://middlingalong.substack.com/  

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• Nicky Denson-Elliott on Good Girl Economics, redefining our worth and unlearning internalized misogyny

  My guest this time is Nicky Denson-Elliott – serial entrepreneur, founder of the Wilder Collective and host of the Women’s Business podcast. Nicky is focused on elevating female founders and redefining success beyond conventional hustle culture.   We explore the realities of building businesses as women plus the latest research behind internalized misogyny (the internal dialogue and conditioning that influences how women value their work and themselves). Join us as we take a tour through Nicky’s career pivots, from launching an events business to starting a unisex kids’ clothing brand during the pandemic, to launching her own podcast and the birth of The Wilder Collective. We delve into reframing success beyond money and status and the reality of balancing entrepreneurship with life, expectations, and authenticity... We’re lucky enough to get an early insight into the gloriously titled ‘Good Girl Economics’ research Nicky has been conducting over the summer with (past guest of the podcast) Leila Ainge which aims to quantify and illuminate how women price their services and perceive other women’s success.  You can find Nicky at: thewildercollective.co.uk  https://www.instagram.com/wilder.ones  https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicky-denson-elliott-44103418/?skipRedirect=true    If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. Where to find me: Join me over at www.holdingupthesky.com  Book in coaching with me at http://www.thetripleshift.org   Find my menopause in the workplace support at www.managingthemenopause.com  Connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/   Follow along on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/  Or subscribe to my weekly(ish) Substack at https://middlingalong.substack.com/    

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• Bonus Episode: Are You Holding Up The Sky? Then come join us...

  Welcome to this bonus episode with me, and fellow coach and burnout expert Lisa Tyler. We'd love to tell you about the new project we have just launched... Do you sometimes feel like you’re Holding up the Sky? You’re exhausted from being all things to all people. Madly juggling parenting, elder care, job, health. Maybe you’re also supporting your young adults who aren’t quite ‘fully fledged’. If you feel like you’re constantly teetering on the brink of burnout and playing ‘Whack-a-Mole’ with possible peri/menopause symptoms… Then Holding Up The Sky is the safety net you didn’t know you needed but is going to change the game for you. A community that builds in: group coaching (with two accredited coaches, alternating once per fortnight) expert workshops (on topics like breathwork, dealing with burnout, yoga therapy, perimenopause, navigating SEND systems, divorce, elder care, bereavement and more) quarterly Q&A sessions with GP and BMS Advanced practitioner Dr Beth Thomas community support - dip in and out as much as you wish available on desktop or app, toggle between both on the go practical advice and resources (links, books, podcasts, worksheets) so you can navigate your way through the “midlife collision” without losing your sh*t… This is for you… if you’re a midlife woman feeling like they are doing Everything, Everywhere, All At Once...and want to rewrite your narrative before you reach burnout. This isn't… another program promising to "fix" you in 30 days. This is a membership space built from hundreds of conversations about what we actually need: Permission to not have it all figured out Practical tools that work in real life (not just on Instagram) A community that gets it without you having to explain Expert guidance from people who've walked this path We'd love to welcome you in to our community space, come and find out more at www.holdingupthesky.com   For a limited time you can get your first month for just £5 using the code TRYME at: https://holdingupthesky.circle.so/checkout/launch-monthly-membership Thanks for listening! 

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