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Neuroshambles

Mark Allen
Neuroshambles
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  • Swimming | Hatty Ashdown
    In this episode of Neuroshambles, Mark is joined by returning guest Hatty Ashdown - not only a parent of a neurodivergent child, but also a brilliant comedian, writer and host of the Funny Mummies podcast. Together they dive into the deceptively simple but totally chaotic world of swimming. For children with autism, ADHD, PDA, and other forms of neurodivergency, swimming can be simultaneously a magical sensory experience and an absolute logistical nightmare. From the infuriating act of trying to get them to swim in the first place, to negotiating the changing room routine, navigating the lockers and dealing with their antics in the pool, Mark and Hatty share candid and hilarious tales of what it’s like to take your neuro-exceptional brood swimming - and why we keep doing it, despite the enormous faff. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Hatty Ashdown 06:00 - Topic of the Week: Swimming 09:00 - Why do neurodivergent kids love swimming? 15:00 - The challenge of teaching neurodivergent kids to swim 30:30 - The massive faff of a swimming trip: Hatty's routine 37:00 - The massive faff of a swimming trip: Mark's routine 42:00 - The chaos of changing rooms 46:30 - The stress of the lockers 53:00 - Shenanigans in the pool 59:30 - Losing their goggles 1:04:00 - The Positives: the joy of swimming 1:08:00 - Neurodiversity champions 1:12:00 - Tiny epic wins 1:15:00 - What the Flip? Moments 1:20:00 - Wrap-Up and Where to Find Hatty ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: • Hatty Ashdown’s Website – https://hattyashdown.com/ • Funny Mummies Podcast: Basics – https://pod.link/1451332466 • Funny Mummies Podcast: VIP (Patreon) – https://www.patreon.com/FunnyMummiesPodcast • Bella Ramsey (Neurodiversity Champion) – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bella_Ramsey ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
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  • Tackling Ignorance - Part 2 | Jo Matthews
    Following on from part 1, fan favourite Jo Matthews joins Mark once more for another laughter-filled, cathartic rant through the most mind-bogglingly ill-informed things people have said about raising autistic, ADHD, PDA and otherwise neurodivergent kids. This one features a fresh batch of well-meaning nonsense, unsolicited advice, and flat-out offensive comments submitted by Neuroshambles listeners. It’s funny, familiar, and frighteningly relatable. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews Returns 05:30 - "Have you tried a routine?" 10:30 - "Have you tried a parenting course?" 13:30 - “Have you tried changing their diet?” 17:00 - "Why don't you take their screens away?" 20:00 - "Does he have mild autism?" 25:30 - Good autism v bad autism 29:00 - “We’re all a bit autistic" 34:30 - "ADHD is just an excuse" 37:00 - “It doesn't define him” 41:00 - "There's nothing wrong with him" 43:00 - Medical v Social models of disability 47:30 - "My kid does that" 50:00 - “He'll eat when he's hungry" 52:30 - “He'll grow out of it" 54:30 - “He doesn't look autistic" 56:30 - “But, he can talk, so he can’t be autistic” 59:00 - “ADHD is just for boys” 1:01:30 - "What's wrong with him?" 1:02:30 - "I bet he's good at maths" 1:04:30 - "I don't know how you do it" 1:07:00 - Misguided empathy: "I know how you feel" 1:09:00 - "But I do that and I'm not autistic" 1:14:00 - The completely batshit mental comments 1:20:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:21:30 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:25:00 - "What the flip?" moments 1:27:30 - Wrap-up & contact info ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: The medical vs social models of disability: www.scope.org.uk/about-us/social-model-of-disability/ Autism assessments (AQ Test): www.embrace-autism.com/aq-10/#test Bowles Outdoor Centre - www.bowles.rocks ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
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  • Tackling Ignorance - Part 1 | Jo Matthews
    In this episode, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a cathartic, hilarious, and occasionally sweary dive into the unfiltered reality of parenting autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. From "It's just a label" and "He’s fine with me" to "You just need to push them out of their comfort zone", this is part one of a two-part special on the unsolicited commentary we all get, whether it’s from strangers, family members, or well-meaning-but-utterly-wrong professionals. The kind of comments that pretend to be supportive but are really just dismissive, ignorant, or unhelpfully optimistic. Together, Mark and Jo share personal stories, listener submissions, and a few moments of pure rage-laughter, as they unpack why these statements cut so deep – and how to push back with humour, honesty, and the occasional incredulous raise of the eyebrow. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews 06:00 – “It's just a label” 08:00 - The story of Rube Waddell 16:00 - "Stop Mollycoddling your child" 21:00 - "You let them win too much" 22:30 - "Can't you just make them do it?" 26:00 - "You should make their home life more unpleasant" 28:00 - "Your parenting is wishy washy" 31:00 - "Children just need boundaries" 36:00 - "You need to push them out of their comfort zone" 43:00 - "Are you too afraid to say no?" 48:00 - "How will they manage in the real world?" 52:00 - "Sometimes, it's a choice" 54:00 - "They're just trying to get their own way" 01:02:00 - "They're fine when they're with me" 01:07:00 - The Positives 01:09:30 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:12:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:14:30 - What the Flip? 01:17:00 - Wrap-Up & What’s Coming in Part Two ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Rube Waddell - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Waddell "Am I raising an arsehole?" episode of Neuroshambles -https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/a313c1057becbcd2e24d64c5bf94820e "The Explosive Child" book - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
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  • Why can't they stick with a hobby? | Nicole Bateman
    In this episode, Mark takes a typically sideways look at the idea of hobbies – those wholesome after-school activities that see neurotypical kids flourish… but which, for many neurodivergent families, are either a logistical nightmare, a sensory minefield, or a fast track to public meltdown. Joining him is the brilliant Nicole Bateman – podcast host (Conversations with a SEND Mum), former teacher, trainer, and founder of The Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad. Together, they explore the myths, pressures and downright ridiculousness of what “having hobbies” means when your kids are autistic, ADHD or PDA. They cover what actually works, what definitely doesn’t, and the benefits of learning to follow your neurodifferent child's lead, so you can meet them where they're at, rather than where you want them to be.   STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Nicole Bateman 03:00 – The fantasy of hobbies vs the reality 08:00 – Issues with trust and accessibility 13:00 – After-school clubs 18:00 – The Summer holiday hobby void 25:00 – Trying to force your neurodivergent children to have a hobby 33:00 – Social disconnect in group settings 39:00 – When your best intentions fail 44:00 - Environmental barriers to adopting a hobby 47:00 – Competitive Sport: Gift or Curse? 53:00 – Caesar-or-Nothing syndrome & hobby avoidance 59:00 – Drop-off disasters 1:07:00 – What *does* work? 1:12:00 – It's not all rubbish: A look at the positives 1:15:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:23:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:26:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:29:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Nicole   LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Nicole Bateman’s Website – Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad: https://nicolebateman.co.uk/ Conversations with a SEND Mum – Nicole’s podcast: https://conversationswithasendmum.buzzsprout.com/ Super Sensory Squad Book – ‘Buzz’s Birthday’ and other penguin-based sensory tools: https://www.thesupersensorysquad.com/ Cub Scouts: https://www.scouts.org.uk/cubs/being-a-cub/joining-cubs/ Lisa Lloyd reel - Neurotypicals watching what their parents watch: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIzCFBxNzxT “Why Can’t I Just Enjoy Things?” by Pierre Novellie – Caesar-or-nothing brains and comedy insight: https://amzn.eu/d/dSZA4dC Minecraft Club - Online Social Group for 7-14 year olds: https://minecraftclub.co.uk/ Press Play - Stop frame animation workshops in Sussex: https://pressplayfilms.co.uk/  Boogie Beat - Music and movement classes: https://boogiebeat.co.uk/ Sam Mills – Disability Tennis Brighton: Email [email protected] for information   CONTACT US 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles   CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com  
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  • The nightmare of shopping | Helen Stuart
    This week, Mark dives into the chaotic, absurd and quite often traumatic world of shopping with neurodivergent children. If you’ve ever emerged from a supermarket having to impulse buy paracetamol just to get you through the shop, then this one’s for you. Joining Mark is the brilliant Helen Stuart – a mum of six (four of her own and two step-children - all diagnosed or suspected neurodivergent), home educator, and co-founder of Thrive Together Training. Between them, they dissect the minefield of supermarkets, the unpredictability of meltdowns triggered by automatic doors, sensory overwhelm, the trauma of shopping for clothes, rage waiting, and the unholy panic when you realise the supermarket has unexpectedly moved everything around. This is a laugh-out-loud, painfully relatable episode for anyone who has ever had lofty ambitions to do a quick “top up shop”, before ending up having to negotiate UN-level peace deals with your child in the frozen food aisle.   STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Listener Feedback 02:00 – Meet the Guest: Helen Stuart 06:00 – Topic of the Week: Shopping 13:00 – Why Supermarkets Are Sensory Torture 19:00 – The Emotional Toll of Trolleys and Comments 25:00 – PDA Autonomy, Meltdowns, and the Elsa Cup Incident 33:00 – Supermarket Sweep, PDA-Style 39:00 – Self-Checkouts vs Human Interaction 45:00 – Clothing & Footwear Battles 52:00 – Lush, Libraries and Return Rage 59:00 – When Book Tokens Become a Poisoned Chalice 1:04:00 – The Positives (Yes, Really!) 1:10:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:16:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:20:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:23:00 – Wrap-Up & Thrive Together Info LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: PDA Society - Support and resources for families living with a PDA profile: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk Supermarket Sweep - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_Sweep_(British_game_show) Sunflower Lanyard Scheme - For invisible disabilities: https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com Waterstones Book Tokens - https://www.waterstones.com/help/gift-cards-and-vouchers/32 H&M - https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/kids.html Skechers - https://www.skechers.co.uk/kids/ Lindsay's Swim School - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063580090089&sk=about Nelson Street Church, Rochdale - https://www.nelsonstreetchurch.org/ Thrive Together Training website – https://thrivetogethertraining.co.uk Thrive Together Training Facebook page – www.facebook.com/thrivetogethertraining Thrive Together Training Instagram account – www.instagram.com/thrivetogethertraining ⸻ CONTACT US 🎧 Do you have a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share? 📧 Email us: [email protected] ⸻ FOLLOW US 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com  
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About Neuroshambles

A fortnightly podcast about the ludicrous realities of being a parent of neurodivergent kids. Lapsed comedian Mark Allen has three kids - two diagnosed autistic with ADHD and one highly-suspected autistic. Each episode, he swaps stories with his guests about the challenges they’ve had dealing with seemingly simple events, such as birthday parties, holidays, mealtimes, and leaving the house.
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