Neuroshambles

• Tackling Ignorance - Part 1 | Jo Matthews

  In this episode, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a cathartic, hilarious, and occasionally sweary dive into the unfiltered reality of parenting autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. From "It's just a label" and "He’s fine with me" to "You just need to push them out of their comfort zone", this is part one of a two-part special on the unsolicited commentary we all get, whether it’s from strangers, family members, or well-meaning-but-utterly-wrong professionals. The kind of comments that pretend to be supportive but are really just dismissive, ignorant, or unhelpfully optimistic. Together, Mark and Jo share personal stories, listener submissions, and a few moments of pure rage-laughter, as they unpack why these statements cut so deep – and how to push back with humour, honesty, and the occasional incredulous raise of the eyebrow. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews 06:00 – “It's just a label” 08:00 - The story of Rube Waddell 16:00 - "Stop Mollycoddling your child" 21:00 - "You let them win too much" 22:30 - "Can't you just make them do it?" 26:00 - "You should make their home life more unpleasant" 28:00 - "Your parenting is wishy washy" 31:00 - "Children just need boundaries" 36:00 - "You need to push them out of their comfort zone" 43:00 - "Are you too afraid to say no?" 48:00 - "How will they manage in the real world?" 52:00 - "Sometimes, it's a choice" 54:00 - "They're just trying to get their own way" 01:02:00 - "They're fine when they're with me" 01:07:00 - The Positives 01:09:30 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:12:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:14:30 - What the Flip? 01:17:00 - Wrap-Up & What’s Coming in Part Two ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Rube Waddell - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Waddell "Am I raising an arsehole?" episode of Neuroshambles -https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/a313c1057becbcd2e24d64c5bf94820e "The Explosive Child" book - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

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  1:18:29
• Why can't they stick with a hobby? | Nicole Bateman

  In this episode, Mark takes a typically sideways look at the idea of hobbies – those wholesome after-school activities that see neurotypical kids flourish… but which, for many neurodivergent families, are either a logistical nightmare, a sensory minefield, or a fast track to public meltdown. Joining him is the brilliant Nicole Bateman – podcast host (Conversations with a SEND Mum), former teacher, trainer, and founder of The Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad. Together, they explore the myths, pressures and downright ridiculousness of what “having hobbies” means when your kids are autistic, ADHD or PDA. They cover what actually works, what definitely doesn’t, and the benefits of learning to follow your neurodifferent child's lead, so you can meet them where they're at, rather than where you want them to be.   STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Nicole Bateman 03:00 – The fantasy of hobbies vs the reality 08:00 – Issues with trust and accessibility 13:00 – After-school clubs 18:00 – The Summer holiday hobby void 25:00 – Trying to force your neurodivergent children to have a hobby 33:00 – Social disconnect in group settings 39:00 – When your best intentions fail 44:00 - Environmental barriers to adopting a hobby 47:00 – Competitive Sport: Gift or Curse? 53:00 – Caesar-or-Nothing syndrome & hobby avoidance 59:00 – Drop-off disasters 1:07:00 – What *does* work? 1:12:00 – It's not all rubbish: A look at the positives 1:15:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:23:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:26:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:29:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Nicole   LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Nicole Bateman’s Website – Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad: https://nicolebateman.co.uk/ Conversations with a SEND Mum – Nicole’s podcast: https://conversationswithasendmum.buzzsprout.com/ Super Sensory Squad Book – ‘Buzz’s Birthday’ and other penguin-based sensory tools: https://www.thesupersensorysquad.com/ Cub Scouts: https://www.scouts.org.uk/cubs/being-a-cub/joining-cubs/ Lisa Lloyd reel - Neurotypicals watching what their parents watch: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIzCFBxNzxT “Why Can’t I Just Enjoy Things?” by Pierre Novellie – Caesar-or-nothing brains and comedy insight: https://amzn.eu/d/dSZA4dC Minecraft Club - Online Social Group for 7-14 year olds: https://minecraftclub.co.uk/ Press Play - Stop frame animation workshops in Sussex: https://pressplayfilms.co.uk/  Boogie Beat - Music and movement classes: https://boogiebeat.co.uk/ Sam Mills – Disability Tennis Brighton: Email [email protected] for information   CONTACT US 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles   CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com  

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  1:30:25
• The nightmare of shopping | Helen Stuart

  This week, Mark dives into the chaotic, absurd and quite often traumatic world of shopping with neurodivergent children. If you’ve ever emerged from a supermarket having to impulse buy paracetamol just to get you through the shop, then this one’s for you. Joining Mark is the brilliant Helen Stuart – a mum of six (four of her own and two step-children - all diagnosed or suspected neurodivergent), home educator, and co-founder of Thrive Together Training. Between them, they dissect the minefield of supermarkets, the unpredictability of meltdowns triggered by automatic doors, sensory overwhelm, the trauma of shopping for clothes, rage waiting, and the unholy panic when you realise the supermarket has unexpectedly moved everything around. This is a laugh-out-loud, painfully relatable episode for anyone who has ever had lofty ambitions to do a quick “top up shop”, before ending up having to negotiate UN-level peace deals with your child in the frozen food aisle.   STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Listener Feedback 02:00 – Meet the Guest: Helen Stuart 06:00 – Topic of the Week: Shopping 13:00 – Why Supermarkets Are Sensory Torture 19:00 – The Emotional Toll of Trolleys and Comments 25:00 – PDA Autonomy, Meltdowns, and the Elsa Cup Incident 33:00 – Supermarket Sweep, PDA-Style 39:00 – Self-Checkouts vs Human Interaction 45:00 – Clothing & Footwear Battles 52:00 – Lush, Libraries and Return Rage 59:00 – When Book Tokens Become a Poisoned Chalice 1:04:00 – The Positives (Yes, Really!) 1:10:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:16:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:20:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:23:00 – Wrap-Up & Thrive Together Info LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: PDA Society - Support and resources for families living with a PDA profile: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk Supermarket Sweep - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_Sweep_(British_game_show) Sunflower Lanyard Scheme - For invisible disabilities: https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com Waterstones Book Tokens - https://www.waterstones.com/help/gift-cards-and-vouchers/32 H&M - https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/kids.html Skechers - https://www.skechers.co.uk/kids/ Lindsay's Swim School - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063580090089&sk=about Nelson Street Church, Rochdale - https://www.nelsonstreetchurch.org/ Thrive Together Training website – https://thrivetogethertraining.co.uk Thrive Together Training Facebook page – www.facebook.com/thrivetogethertraining Thrive Together Training Instagram account – www.instagram.com/thrivetogethertraining ⸻ CONTACT US 🎧 Do you have a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share? 📧 Email us: [email protected] ⸻ FOLLOW US 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com  

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  1:23:47
• School: The Early Years | Helen Daniel

  In this long-overdue episode, Mark is joined by the brilliant Helen Daniel, who is a qualified teacher, sensory mentor, public speaker and founder of Outside the Box Sensory, as they dig into the myriad challenges of early years education and what it means for our neurodivergent kids. Helen brings a unique perspective not only as a parent of an autistic child (diagnosed autistic, suspected ADHD), but also as a late-diagnosed autistic ADHD-er herself, and a former teacher who’s seen the system from the inside out. Together, she and Mark pick apart the weird rituals, unrealistic milestones and baffling expectations of primary school - and why it often ends up being a really poor fit for neurodivergent kids. From sensory overload and academic gaslighting to the slow-burning isolation that builds in the school playground (for kids and parents alike), this one is jam-packed with insight, shared experiences and the usual healthy dose of humorous venting. ⸻ STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Listener Message 01:45 – Meet the Guest: Helen Daniel 06:00 – Topic of the Week: Early Years & School 21:00 – Sensory Profiles and Unrealistic Expectations 34:00 – ND Communication Styles & Social Hierarchies 47:00 – Parent Isolation and Drop-Off Struggles 56:30 – School Pickup Dread & Neurodivergent Burnout 1:03:00 – What Needs to Change in Education 1:04:45 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:09:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:14:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:17:00 – Wrap-Up & Helen’s Book Plug ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Outside the Box Sensory (Helen’s website for talks, training and resources) - https://outsidetheboxsensory.com Follow Helen on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/otbsensory Follow Helen on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/outsidetheboxsensory Helen’s book – Neurosensory Divergence: Autistic Languages and Inclusion (Amazon): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CV4PSMH7 The Double Empathy Problem – Dr. Damian Milton: https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics Heidi Mavir Neuroshambles Empathy Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-avrx7-17af07c Pete Wharmby Neuroshambles Masking Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-cke9u-18156f6 Progressive Education – Resources for alternative provision and inclusive practice: https://www.progressiveeducation.org Grove Neurodivergent Mentoring & Education – Interest-based communities for ND kids: https://www.gr0ve.org/ Silent Disco - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_disco ⸻ CONTACT US 🎧 Got a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share? 📧 Email us: [email protected] ⸻ FOLLOW US 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com  

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  1:19:36
• Being the token neurotypical | Kirsty Hockenhull

  Have you ever felt like the odd one out in your own family? In this episode, Mark chats with Kirsty Hockenhull, a fellow self-diagnosed neurotypical in the midst of a chaotic, neurodivergent household. They discuss how it feels to be the lone neurotypical in a family teeming with autism, ADHD, and PDA - touching on everything from helping them navigate everyday social conventions to how to cope when your emotional needs are the only ones not being accommodated for. They discuss the challenges of bridging two worlds - interpreting “neurotypical” rules for neurodivergent loved ones, while also learning where those same social norms should be thrown out of the window altogether. There are candid insights into parenting styles, navigating brutal honesty (“Mum, why are you so old?” or “Dad, you should iron your face!”), and the realisation that sometimes your greatest strength is simply having enough “spoons” to hold it all together. Finally, there’s a celebration of the positive side: how being the lone neurotypical can be a privilege in its own right, helping you see the world from an entirely new perspective and become a better parent—and person—along the way. ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pizza Express - https://www.pizzaexpress.com/ The Great Escape - https://greatescapefestival.com/ Wife Swap - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_Swap_(British_TV_series) Gorilla Gym - https://amzn.eu/d/bpK6C0G Angela Barnes – https://www.angelabarnescomedy.co.uk/ The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/ Electric Palace Cinema, Hastings - https://www.electricpalacecinema.com/ Lucy Bronze – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xriJ8wZm1w4 ⸻ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions, or any “What the flip?” moments you’d like to share, feel free to email us: [email protected] ⸻ FOLLOW US Instagram: instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: threads.net/@neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/   Thank you for listening and being part of the Neuroshambles community. If you enjoyed this episode, please tell a friend, leave a review, or share it on social media. Have a nice life!

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  1:26:59

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