Why Do I Feel This Way?

<p><strong>This episode contains lived-experience discussion of homelessness and sleeping rough, coming out as trans, family rejection, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, substance use and getting sober, a mental-health unit admission, violence, PTSD and an unnoticed death in public, and includes strong language.</strong></p>
<p>Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy are joined by Chris Vagg, the founder of Pass It On Clothing, and Emma, who spent eight to nine months sleeping rough on Sydney's streets before building a different life. Kate knew Chris years ago, and when they reconnected she found he'd changed direction completely.</p>
<p>Chris tells how Pass It On began when his partner cleared out his wardrobe, and how one question he asked Emma, in her Eels jersey at Martin Place, made her think. He explains why the only difference between us and someone experiencing homelessness is a key to a safe place at night, why saying hello can make someone feel human instead of like street furniture, and why, when you're homeless, you deserve the best, not the worst.</p>
<p>Emma tells her story in her own words: coming out as trans to her dad and being told to get out, losing her job while she was sleeping in her car, and sleeping rough at Parramatta, where people poured beer on her. She explains why people on the street sleep through the day, why she still can't sleep under a sheet, and the kindness she still remembers, including a stranger who left $20 beside her and one day sat with her for two hours without saying a word.</p>
<p>Then the way out: finding community, getting sober, a counsellor who'd been homeless herself, the speech that made her decide to change, a job selling cars, and the day she and her fiancée moved in and closed the door. Kate honours Emma's trans journey, Chris makes the case for giving cash and choice and says crisis can't wait until tomorrow, and Emma tells Little Em what she'd want her to know: take your time.</p>
<p><strong>Huge thanks to Chris Vagg and Emma for joining us.</strong><br>
Follow Pass It On Clothing:<br>
Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/passitonclothing/">@passitonclothing</a><br>
<a href="https://passitonclothing.com.au">passitonclothing.com.au</a></p>
<p>Season 5 is presented by <strong>Aurora Healthcare</strong>.<br>
<a href="https://aurorahealth.com.au">aurorahealth.com.au</a></p>
<p>If this brings anything up for you:<br>
Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14<br>
QLife (LGBTIQ+ peer support): 1800 184 527<br>
Link2home (NSW homelessness help, 24/7): 1800 152 152</p>

<p><strong>This episode contains lived-experience discussion of eating disorders and purging, urges to relapse, body shame, weight loss and prescription weight-management medication, methamphetamine and other drug dependence, compulsive behaviours, and mental-health recovery, and includes strong language.</strong></p>
<p>Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy are back, just the two of them, for an honest catch-up about what's still there when the loudest addiction is gone.</p>
<p>Claudia marks 18 months since she last purged, and tells the story behind her butterfly tattoo: the promise she made herself when she got it, and the moment it helped. Kate explains why shame is still her core trigger, even with an Australian Idol win and a life full of people who love her: the spiral that follows her out of every social situation, and the phone call that makes it evaporate. And they share something they've never said publicly: why Season 1 was recorded twice, and what being that honest gave back to them both.</p>
<p>Then Kate goes underneath the addiction. The drugs, she says, were just a symptom: when she put them down, the void was still there, and finding the other ways she fills it, from social media to spending, has become a game of whack-a-mole. She talks openly about the weight-loss medication that finally quietened the food noise she'd lived with her whole life, stepping back on stage in a body she isn't ashamed of, and the shame that still tells her she took the easy way out. Claudia raises the debate about people with a platform who are on weight-loss medication and don't say so.</p>
<p>Kate and Claudia discuss their own lived experience. Medication and recovery decisions are individual; speak with a qualified health professional and do not start, stop or change prescribed treatment based on this conversation.</p>
<p>Season 5 is presented by <strong>Aurora Healthcare</strong>.<br>
<a href="https://aurorahealth.com.au">aurorahealth.com.au</a></p>
<p>If this brings anything up for you:<br>
Butterfly National Helpline: 1800 33 4673<br>
National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline: 1800 250 015<br>
Lifeline: 13 11 14</p>

This episode contains lived-experience discussion of traumatic birth, postnatal depression and anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, addiction and recovery, and restrictive eating, and includes strong language.
Kate's friend Tara Hall joins Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy for an honest conversation about the gap between the motherhood she saw on TikTok and the one she actually lived.
Tara takes us through a traumatic birth: induced at 41 weeks, a forceps delivery that became an emergency caesarean, and waking up alone with her newborn after a general anaesthetic. Three weeks later she moved away from everyone she knew. On the outside she was going to the gym and catching up with friends; inside she was dissociating, controlling every routine, waking her daughter 20 times a night to check she was breathing, and faking it. It took two years, and a full-blown panic attack, before a doctor finally heard her and diagnosed postpartum anxiety and depression.
She talks about recovery, childhood patterns and learning to let her daughter struggle, while Kate shares the intrusive thoughts she had after her first baby and the postnatal depression she didn't recognise after her second. There's honesty about the parts of parenting that are just plain boring, and Tara's advice for any new mum who doesn't feel okay: reach out, advocate for yourself, and know your best years are yet to come.
This conversation reflects lived experience, not medical advice.
Huge thanks to Tara Hall for joining us.
Follow Tara: @tarahall
Season 5 is presented by Aurora Healthcare.
aurorahealth.com.au
If this brings anything up for you:
PANDA National Perinatal Mental Health Helpline: 1300 726 306
Lifeline: 13 11 14

This episode contains lived-experience discussion of childhood abuse, family violence, young motherhood, addiction and religious trauma, and includes strong language and sexual references.
Australian Idol and Young Divas star Emily Williams joins Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy for a reunion more than 20 years in the making. There's plenty to revisit from the Idol years and Young Divas, but Emily's story began long before Australia knew her voice.
Growing up in South Auckland, Emily talks about childhood, church, music and becoming a young mum. She takes us back to working as a forklift driver, almost missing her Australian Idol audition, and suddenly finding herself in a Grand Final alongside Kate. The two remember the Opera House, life inside Young Divas, and some of the stories that have followed them ever since.
Emily also opens up about rebuilding her career, performing in The Bodyguard in the UK, relationships, healing and what happened when she began questioning the Christianity she'd known for 37 years. There's honesty, a lot of laughter, and even a bit of unfinished business over Kate's Australian Idol single, Maybe Tonight.
Huge thanks to Emily Williams for joining us.
Follow Emily: @emilyurbandiva
Season 5 is presented by Aurora Healthcare.
aurorahealth.com.au

This episode contains lived-experience discussion of addiction, alcohol and other drug use, childhood sexual abuse, family relationships, treatment and recovery.
Season Partner: Aurora Healthcare
Belinda Walsh returns to Why Do I Feel This Way? with Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy to unpack what an intervention actually looks like — and why helping someone with addiction often starts with the people who love them.
Drawing on four decades working in addiction treatment, Belinda talks about the way addiction affects entire families, the difference between blame and support, and the practical steps behind her approach to interventions. From choosing the right people and writing letters to planning treatment and navigating the first days afterwards, she takes the conversation well beyond what most people have seen on television.
They also discuss the myth of waiting for “rock bottom”, treatment options, harm reduction, long-term recovery and the difficulties of accessing care. Towards the end, Kate shares her own family's experience and reflects with Belinda on what changed during the years she was struggling with addiction.
Huge thanks to Belinda Walsh for joining us again.
Belinda / Sober Living Rehab:
soberlivingrehab.com.au
With thanks to Equana Minds.
equanaminds.com.au
National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline — 1800 250 015