A Bit of Optimism

Hello from Team Simon! We're taking a quick break this week and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism next Tuesday. 

Until then, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes — when bestselling novelist Fredrik Backman joined the show to talk about the thing he's spent his whole career writing about: the quiet, radical power of showing up for people.

And Fredrik says great friendships aren't found by luck. They're built deliberately, repeatedly, and, sometimes, inconveniently by people who choose to do the work.

Fredrik is the internationally bestselling author of A Man Called Ove (adapted into the film A Man Called Otto), Anxious People, and the Beartown series. His book, My Friends, is a love letter to the relationships that quietly shape who we become.

In this conversation, Fredrik opens up about his best friend of over 30 years and what 30 years of real friendship actually requires. His words will have you thinking hard about the friends you might be taking for granted.

In this episode you'll learn: 

➡️ Why great friendship is a skill + what the work actually looks like 

➡️ The concept of your "people” vs. “humans" 

➡️ Why your friends are your best editors

➡️ The friendship rule that changed how Fredrik's entire friend group thought about relationships

➡️ The unexpected value of quantity of time vs. quality of time 

➡️ How to be genuinely happy for someone else 

➡️ The difference between healthy self-deprecation and low self-esteem 

➡️ Why the work in a relationship is never solely on the relationship — it's always on you

A great relationship isn't a stroke of luck. It's a choice you make every day, in small ways, often when it's inconvenient. This conversation is a reminder of why it's worth it.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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To buy Fredrik’s book, My Friends, visit: https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Fredrik-Backman/411545926 

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Chapters
Chapters

00:00:00 We Don't Need Algorithms to Find Our People
00:02:45 Fredrik's Viral Speech: Fueled by Pure Panic
00:05:55 The Power of Authenticity: Why Imperfection Resonates
00:07:29 Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely
00:08:56 The Friend Who Taught Him Everything
00:15:43 Quality Time vs Quantity Time: The ROI of Presence
00:17:53 The "I Want To," Not "I Have To" Philosophy
00:20:55 Your Friends Are Your Best Editors
00:13:23 Writing as Self-Editing
00:15:06 Learning to Be Happy for Others
00:22:41 The Gift of Time: Showing Up When It Matters
00:23:56 Be A Great Friend, Get Great Friends
00:28:55 The Work Is On You: Relationships and Self-Growth
00:36:23 Algorithms Would Never Match Us: The Value of Difference
00:34:21 Trying Is Everything
00:35:55 People vs Humans
00:37:18 Self-Deprecation vs Low Self-Esteem
00:39:22 The Jantelagen: Swedish Humility Law
00:45:26 The Fear of Disappointing People
00:48:00 Expectations vs Reality: Letting Go of Fantasy
00:49:00 Understanding Bullies: Finding What We Have in Common
00:51:21 Fighting Narcissism: Surrounding Yourself With Better People
00:52:08 Being Comfortable Not Knowing: The Gateway to Learning
00:55:28 The World's Best Cardamom Bun Debate

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Maybe this sounds familiar: you leave a party and spend the rest of the night convinced everyone was upset with you. Or you replay something you said in a meeting for days and second-guess every last word.

Vanessa Van Edwards has been there. As a self-proclaimed "recovering awkward person," she’s spent two decades decoding the hidden dynamics of human interaction to make those skills teachable for introverts and extroverts alike.

Vanessa is a behavioral researcher, bestselling author, and founder of Science of People. In her book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction, she makes the case that social skills aren't a personality type, they're learnable. And she believes we are living in the most critical moment in history to start learning them.

In this episode you'll learn:

➡️ Why "just be yourself" is unhelpful advice + potentially cruel

➡️ The important everyday interactions technology + AI replaced

➡️ Where to stand at a party so someone always talks to you

➡️ How to have better conversations (+ why you already have the skills)

➡️ What the real antidote to awkwardness is

➡️ How to practice micro-social skills without turning people off

➡️ Why we’re all ambiverts + how to understand ambiversion

➡️ How soft skills drive major career inflection points

➡️ The concept of social fitness + the “nutrition” of your relationships

In this conversation, Vanessa lays out how even the most socially anxious among us can build real connections and become more likable… even in a world that has quietly removed all the places we used to accidentally get good at being human. And the secret isn't confidence. It's something far more generous.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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Watch A Bit of Optimism on Spotify, and Spotify Premium users can enjoy the show ad-free.

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To pre-order Vanessa’s new book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction, head to: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation/

Want to learn more people skills from Vanessa? Check out The Science of People: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/

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Chapters
Chapters

00:00:00 Social Skills in the Digital Age Crisis
00:01:47 Vanessa's Journey: The Accidental Social Skills Expert
00:05:45 Mistakes Everyone Makes Learning to Improve Social Skills
00:08:09 Where Did Our Places to Practice Being Human Go?
00:11:17 Where to Stand at a Party When You Don't Know Anyone
00:14:17 The Ambivert Reality: Social Fitness and Friendship Nutrition
00:18:07 The Discomfort Problem: Why Young People Avoid Rather Than Adapt
00:21:33 Put the Shoes in the Box: The Art of Knowing When to Stop
00:34:54 Intention Matches Action: Defining Authenticity
00:46:56 The Power of Being Seen: How Love Changed Everything
00:49:51 The Ultimate Social Skill: Helping Others Feel Normal
00:42:20 Micro-Social Skills: Finding the Parts of Yourself You Like

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

We often comfort ourselves with the idea that things happen for a reason, or define our struggles as a test of strength. Tom Nash might ask you to reconsider.

Tom is a speaker, former DJ, and globe-trotting advocate for agency, anti-fragility, and the radical idea that your worst moment might be your greatest asset — as he argued in his TED Talk, "The Perks of Being a Pirate.” He’s also the mind behind Last Meal with Tom Nash where he asks his guests what their last meal would be if the world ended tomorrow, and then actually cooks it for them.

In our conversation, Tom shares how, at 19, a rare bacterial infection left him a quadruple amputee with a 2% chance of survival. And he'll tell you it's the best thing that ever happened to him.

This isn’t just another conversation about resilience. It’s a deep dive into agency and the difference between a life that happens to you and one you actually choose.

In this episode, we explore:

➡️ Why the story you tell yourself about your own life is the most powerful force in it

➡️ The difference between resilience and anti-fragility (and why it matters)

➡️ Tom’s framework for navigating adversity: The Artist, the Author, and the Alchemist

➡️ The counterintuitive reason why we actually need support networks

➡️ Why "everything happens for a reason" can be a trap (and the perspective that works better)

➡️ What your last meal choice reveals about what you're really searching for

➡️ Why the concept of being "self-made" is a dangerous illusion

Tom joins me to ask a fundamental question: who is really holding the pen when it comes to your story?

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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Watch the new season of Tom’s show Last Meal with Tom Nash and head to: https://www.lastmealwithtomnash.com

Want more Tom? Check out his website: https://www.tomnash.com

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Chapters

Chapters

00:00:00 Adversity Can Be The Best Thing You Experience
00:03:45 Tom's Story: Contracting Meningococcal Disease
00:07:47 The Gift of Agency: Choosing to Amputate
00:16:18 The Artist, The Author, and The Alchemist: A Framework for Anti-Fragility
00:20:28 The Alchemist: Turning Adversity Into Advantage
00:23:52 Learning to Walk Again: The Momentum Metaphor
00:26:57 The True Purpose of Support Networks
00:34:33 Why 'Everything Happens for a Reason' Robs You of Agency
00:47:37 The Last Meal Question: What Your Choice Reveals About Freedom
00:42:23 Joel Robuchon: Leadership Through Teaching, Not Commanding
00:58:34 The Problem With Inspirational Affirmations
01:00:59 Stop Saying Everything Happens for a Reason

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Simon’s books:

The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/

Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/

Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/

Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/

Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/

If at some point, you've looked at your life—your job, your relationships, your achievements—and thought: “is this it?” This episode is for you. 

Mike Posner had that moment at 30. His life, by every external measure, was extraordinary: he had hit songs, Grammy nominations, millions in the bank. He was a pop star… And he was miserable.

What followed was one of the most honest reckonings we've ever heard on this show. Mike walked across America, survived a rattlesnake bite, climbed Everest, and came out the other side with something no amount of success had ever given him: peace.

Mike Posner is a multi-platinum, Grammy-nominated recording artist, songwriter, and producer. But the reason you should listen to this conversation has nothing to do with any of that. It has everything to do with where he was and his incredibly human journey getting to somewhere better, more peaceful, and more meaningful. He even wrote a song about it—a follow up to his hit song “I Took a Pill in Ibiza” called “I Went Back To Ibiza.”

In this episode you'll learn:

➡️ Why achieving your biggest goals can leave you feeling emptier than before you started 

➡️ The difference between real vulnerability and broadcasting your pain online (and why intention changes everything) 

➡️ Why comfort (not failure) might be the thing quietly hollowing out your life 

➡️ What walking across America actually taught Mike about who he was and who he wasn't 

➡️ Why self-improvement taken too far becomes selfishness 

➡️ The one pursuit more valuable than success, grit, or getting to the top

You don't need a Grammy nomination to relate to this conversation, you just need to have ever wondered if the life you're building is actually the life you want.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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Watch A Bit of Optimism on Spotify! If you’re subscribed to Spotify Premium, you don’t get any Spotify ads on my video.

If you want to watch Mike’s new music video for “I Went Back To Ibiza,” check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDL6SEW4xKU

You can find “I Went Back To Ibiza” wherever you stream music.

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Chapters
Chapters

00:00:00 The Real Reason You Feel Empty
00:06:51 Art as Alchemy: Turning Pain into Beauty
00:18:12 The Asymmetry Between What We Have and What We Give
00:20:32 Walking Across America: Getting Out of His Comfort Zone
00:24:54 The Snake Bite: When Attention Came From Pain
00:30:13 The Problem With Avoiding Discomfort
00:33:47 From Fraud to Peace: Mike's Transformation
00:36:31 Walking Each Other Home: The Purpose of Art and Life
00:38:56 The Pursuit of Peace, Not Just Hardship
00:48:48 Getting to the Top of Everest: Only Half of the Journey

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Live Online Classes: https://simonsinek.com/classes/

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Admit it, you've complained about at least one other generation. Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z—somehow, they all end up with reputations built around what's wrong with them.

Dr. Eliza Filby has a different suggestion: stop asking what's wrong with them. And start questioning what world they were handed.

Eliza is a contemporary historian, generations expert, and the author of Sunday Times bestseller: Inheritocracy. And with more generations in the workplace than at any point in history, she is precisely the person we need to show us a new way to win… together. 

In this conversation, Eliza makes connections about how generational change is reshaping work, wealth, and modern life that I’d never thought to connect. She might just change how you see the world (and people) around you.

In this episode you'll learn:
➡️ Why calling Gen Z "entitled" is the wrong diagnosis (and what's really driving the behavior leaders complain about most) 

➡️ How retirement planning and eldercare became the new midlife crisis

➡️ How the economy changed after 2008 + quietly rewrote the rulebook for every generation that followed 

➡️ Why belonging is becoming increasingly rare (even though we need it)

➡️ Why Millennials + Gen Z are more likely become homeowners by being loyal to their parents than by being loyal to their jobs

➡️ 3 things no AI will replace in the workplace…

➡️ What’s driving hyper-individualism + how do we fix it

We all may have strong opinions about one another, but it’s time to focus on building greater understanding. This conversation is a good place to start.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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To buy a copy of Dr. Eliza Filby’s bestselling book Inheritocracy: It’s Time to Talk About the Bank of Mum and Dad, head to: https://www.elizafilby.com/books 

Want to hear more from Eliza? Check out her It’s All Relative Newsletter: https://www.elizafilby.com/newsletter 

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Chapters

00:00:00 Rethinking the Generational Divide at Work
00:01:35 How Dr. Filby Became a Generations Expert
00:04:33 Defining Generations: Why They're Getting Shorter
00:08:42 The Fragmentation of Shared Experience
00:14:29 Conspiracy Culture Infiltrates the Workplace
00:16:16 The End of Job Security and the Rise of the Solopreneur
00:18:02 What Leaders Must Offer in the Age of Uncertainty
00:20:31 The Bank of Mom and Dad: Living in an Inheritocracy
00:28:23 Why Young People Don't Have 'The Hunger' for Work
00:31:35 The Changing Life Cycle: Delayed Adulthood and Pressured Midlife
00:41:45 Rising Individualism and the Loss of 'We' at Work
00:47:02 Gen AI: The Next Generation in the Workplace
00:50:44 The Solution: Let Humans Do What Can't Be Counted
01:00:42 Disrupting the Path to Mastery and Nurturing Human Skills
01:03:02 How the Generations Can Come Together

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

+ + +

Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Live Online Classes: https://simonsinek.com/classes/

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek