Coaching for Leaders

Shirzad Chamine: Positive Intelligence

Shirzad has been the CEO of the largest coach training organization in the world. He has lectured on Positive Intelligence at Stanford University and has trained faculty at Stanford and Yale business schools. He is the author of The New York Times bestseller Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

By overusing our strengths, they can become our weakness. It’s just one of the many ways that leaders self-sabotage. In this conversation, Shirzad and I explore how to shift from self-sabotage to self-mastery.

Key Points

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. -Henry David Thoreau

We are all a mixed bag of Darth Vader (saboteur) and Jedi knight (sage).

By overusing a strength, you turn it into a weakness.

Rather than attempting to eliminate all our saboteurs, it’s more helpful to be intentional about quieting them down.

The four most common saboteurs that show up for leaders are Controller, Stickler, Hyper Achiever, Hyper Rational.

Sage perspective: Every outcome or circumstance can be turned into an opportunity.

A 10-second brain shift can help quiet your mind and engage the sage. One way to do this is to rub your fingers together and notice the friction to get your mind out of autopilot.

Resources Mentioned

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours by Shirzad Chamine (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Saboteur Assessment

Dave’s assessment results

Interview Notes

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Related Episodes

How to Tame Your Inner Critic, with Tara Mohr (episode 232)

The Path to More Joy in Work and Life, with Judith Joseph (episode 734)

How to See What’s Holding You Back, with Marty Dubin (episode 765)

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Nilofer Merchart: Our Best Work

Nilofer Merchant is ranked among the world’s top management thinkers by Thinkers50 and is the founder of The Intangible Labs, where she defines the leading indicators of modern work. She’s launched more than 100 products totaling $18B in revenue, and her TED Talk, Sitting Is the Smoking of Our Generation, ranks in the top 10% of all TED Talks. She is the author of Our Best Work: Break Free from the 24 Invisible Norms That Limit Us (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

When bad behavior happens in an organization, it’s the job of the leader to address it. In this conversation, Nilofer and I explore the strategies and tactics that will help you do this with clarity and effectiveness.

Key Points

Bad behavior isn’t just “bad apples” – it’s also the organizational norms of “the barrel” that reinforce these behaviors.

Most management norms are not persuasive; they are persistent.

Begin by getting clarity on what’s acceptable and what’s not.

Interrupt behavior without escalation. Consider phrases like, “Ouch,” or “I don’t know if you mean to…” or, “Did you intend that to be hurtful?”

Culture is not defined by words on the wall—­it’s defined by what happens when someone crosses the line.

Ask everyone to enforce norms, not just the person who was harmed.

Resources Mentioned

Our Best Work: Break Free from the 24 Invisible Norms That Limit Us by Nilofer Merchant (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 458)

How to Respond Better When Challenged, with Dolly Chugh (episode 615)

Being Nice May Not Be Kind, with Graham Allcott (episode 767)

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Marcus Buckingham: Design Love In

Marcus Buckingham is the author of two of the best-selling business books of all time and has three of Harvard Business Review’s most circulated, industry-changing cover articles. After spending two decades studying excellence at the Gallup Organization and co-creating the StrengthsFinder tool, he built his own Coaching + Education firm and has been a prominent researcher on strengths, love, and leadership at work. He is the author of Design Love In: How to Unleash the Most Powerful Force in Business (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Most everyone who listens to this podcast wants to go way beyond just hitting numbers and achieving goals. In addition to that, we want so deeply to see the people the work with flourish in their careers. In this conversation, Marcus and I explore the sequence of five feelings that make this work – and why a lot of it comes down to love.

Key Points

Love dies, not from being killed – but from forgetting and neglect.

The difference is massive in what we give a top rating to and everything else.

Love is the deep and unwavering commitment to the flourishing of a human.

Shift from leaders making decisions to leaders making experiences.

The five feelings follow this sequence:

Control

Harmony

Significance

Warmth of others

Growth

Resources Mentioned

Design Love In: How to Unleash the Most Powerful Force in Business by Marcus Buckingham (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Design Love In

Lovethat.com

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Lead Top-Line Growth, with Tim Sanders (episode 299)

Transcend Leadership Struggles Through Your Strengths, with Lisa Cummings (episode 692)

Clarifying Values for a Workplace People Love, with Anne Chow (episode 712)

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Anthony Klotz: Jolted

Anthony Klotz is an organizational psychologist and Professor of Management at the UCL School of Management. He is the person who both predicted and coined the term “The Great Resignation,” and his groundbreaking research on quitting, work design, and employee performance has made him a leading voice on the future of work. He is the author of Jolted: Why We Quit, When to Stay, and Why It Matters (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Most of us have attempted to support an employee dealing with a tough career moment. Not all the time, but certainly sometimes, we see those moments coming. When an employee is dealing with a big jolt – or about to – this conversation with Anthony will show you how to help.

Key Points

Jolts have an outsized influence on people’s overall relationship with their work.

Managers play a deciding role in how people respond to jolts and are in the best position to insulate the negative effects and amplify the positive effects.

Managers can often anticipate and predict jolts to employees. The plans leaders have often become the jolts that others experience.

If people can make sense of a jolting event, they are better able to deal with it constructively.

The perception of how fair an event is and how fair the process was leading up to the event massively impacts how people perceive it.

A clear explanation of why change is happening and what it means can substantially minimize the negative effects of career jolts.

The tendency for organizations to delay bad news often is counterproductive to helping managers and employees navigate jolts.

Partnership with others (managers, friends, family members) helps most of us better process what we might otherwise attempt to do alone.

Resources Mentioned

Jolted: Why We Quit, When to Stay, and Why It Matters (Amazon, Bookshop)* by Anthony Klotz

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Engaging People Through Change, with Cassandra Worthy (episode 571)

How to Quit Bad Stuff Faster, with Annie Duke (episode 607)

Stop Solving Your Team’s Problems, with Elizabeth Lotardo (episode 764)

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Neri Karra Sillaman: Pioneers

Neri Karra Sillaman is a refugee-turned-entrepreneur, academic, and author whose work focuses on the importance of resilience, purpose, and vision in business and in life. She is the recipient of the Thinkers50 Radar Award, an entrepreneurship expert at the University of Oxford, and the founder of Neri Karra, a global luxury leather goods brand. She is the author of Pioneers: 8 Principles of Business Longevity from Immigrant Entrepreneurs (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

We all know that the right connections can help in our careers, but how do we actually get more intentional about forging the connections that will be most meaningful and sustainable? In this conversation, Neri and I explore the key lessons from immigrant entrepreneurs and how their successes can help us all thrive.

Key Points

Robins and titmice have vastly different outcomes because of their divergent abilities for flocking. Social capital is critical for success.

Diversity brings many strengths – and it also introduces new challenges for connection. We can’t as easily rely on connections through traditional cultures or experiences.

All of us have the ability to forge connections based on value. This is perhaps the most powerful homophily tie and accessible to everyone.

The most successful immigrant entrepreneurs don’t rely on connections happening automatically and also don’t assume that relationships will be static.

Focus on what unites you with others. Strengthen ties with other networks to avoid the risk of communities that are too insular.

Be proactive and generous in sharing information and ideas to support others.

Resources Mentioned

Pioneers: 8 Principles of Business Longevity from Immigrant Entrepreneurs by Neri Karra Sillaman (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Three People Who Will Help You Grow, with Andrew C.M. Cooper (episode 700)

The Way to Build Collective Power, with Ruchika T. Malhotra (episode 759)

Using AI to Make Networking Easier, with Ruth Gotian (episode 766)

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.