Parenting Teenagers Untangled

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We’re living through an age where it can feel like our teenagers’ entire lives are happening behind a screen we can’t see. 
Meanwhile mental health problems in teens are a rising problem that is being blamed on their devices. 
The instinctive response for many of us is to clamp down: ban certain apps, monitor every move, or take away devices altogether.
But as Professor Candice Odgers put it so powerfully:
“You can’t ban your way out of a mental health crisis. You have to build instead.”

In this Wonder Room conversation Katharine Radice and I explore how parents can move beyond panic about phones and toward curious, constructive conversations that help teens feel safe enough to be honest.
These are some of the core things we cover in this episode:
Shifting focus from the phone to the child
Phone use is often a symptom of underlying distress or needs, not the core problem.
Moving from monitoring to understanding
Hours and apps matter less than the quality of your teen’s relationship with their online world and how it makes them feel.
Creating conditions for honesty instead of forcing lies
Avoid loaded, judgmental questions and big emotional reactions that make teens hide or lie about what they’re doing online.
Naming the role of algorithms and external forces
Ask “What is the algorithm feeding you?” to shift some responsibility away from the teen and toward the tech design, making honest conversations safer.
Scaffolding self-reflection and self-regulation
Use curious questions (“Are you stuck?”, “Any surprises in your screen time?”) to help teens build lifelong skills in reviewing and adjusting their own digital habits.
For my Fearless Parenting community members I have gathered the key ideas and given you practical questions you can use tonight with your teen.
Katherine has a Substack full of help and ideas for parents of teenagers
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Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
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Are smartphones and social media really damaging our teenagers’ mental health – or are we looking in the wrong place? In this episode, Rachel Richards talks with Professor Candice Odgers, a leading expert on adolescent mental health in the digital age, to unpack what decades of research actually show about teens, tech and wellbeing.
We explore why today’s teenagers are doing better than many headlines suggest, the real size of the link between phones, social media, anxiety and depression, and why offline risks are the biggest predictors of online problems. Candice explains how family stress, academic pressure, inequality, climate anxiety and adult mental health all play a powerful role in teen distress – and why focusing all our fear on phones can distract us from where we can genuinely make a difference.
You’ll hear practical guidance on monitoring vs. connection, how to talk with teens about their online lives without pushing them away, what “ready for a phone” really means, and how social media affects girls and body image. If you feel overwhelmed by scary stories about screens, this conversation will help you move from panic to evidence‑based, compassionate parenting.
Candice Odgers  via her website or on Substack
My substack:
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
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As a teenager, I grew up in a home with almost no routines. No one talked about what needed to happen when, and I remember constantly thinking, “What am I supposed to do now?” Life felt like reinventing the wheel every day. I didn’t feel safe, and I felt a lot of energy went into trying to cope in the chaos.
Now, as a parent and host of Teenagers Untangled, I’ve come to see routines not as dreary box‑ticking exercises, but as powerful tools for connection, calm, and joy. In this Wonder Room conversation, I sat down with teacher and parent Katharine Radice to explore how routines, habits, and rituals can serve our teenagers—and us.
You can find all of the notes and recommendations made in this bonus episode by clicking here:
Sign up for free emails to let you know when a new episode comes out www.teenagersuntangled.com
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
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If your teenage daughter says, “I have anxiety,” “my ADHD was out of control today,” or calls a friend “toxic,” it can feel both strangely sophisticated and oddly shallow at the same time. She has language. She has labels. But somehow, you’re still not sure what’s really going on inside her.
In this episode with psychiatrist Dr Suzanne Garfinkel-Crowell, author of Girlhood Translated: Understanding Girls in the Age of Therapy Speak and Self-Diagnosis, we pulled back the curtain on what this language is doing for girls — and what it’s doing to them.
I particularly loved Suzanne’s tip for us parents:
‘The biggest problem with therapy speak is when it’s a conversation stopper, because really, these words should be conversation starters.’
In the discussion she gives us parents ideas on how to move beyond the language our kids are using, and help them understand what’s really going on. 
This isn’t an “anti-diagnosis” conversation. It’s about understanding how the language of mental health, the DSM, and social media are shaping girlhood, and how we as parents can respond in a way that brings us closer instead of shutting our daughters down.
Dr Suzanne Garfinkle-Crowell
If you'd like written notes to remind you about the points in this episode, or you'd like to think more about it, come to my Substack
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
Instagram
Facebook

Ask Rachel anything
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Wirohugo for your incredible donation. You are so kind! 
Here’s the question posed by one of our community using the Ask Rachel Anything button:
My fifteen year old boy seems to show no curiousity about the world. Does not know countries, capitals, does not read (except when incentived). Today, he didn't recognise the neighbouring village which we drive through many times. He is middling at school but good at some subjects. So, not a dunce! Is it digital distraction? Is it common? I searched your shows and could not find any record of this being discussed. 
Episode About:
Concentration and Choices:
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/concentration-and-the-troubling-effect-of-too-many-choices/
The Disengaged Teen:
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/122-how-to-get-our-teens-to-love-learning-and-why-parents-are-the-missing-piece-of-the-puzzle/
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
Instagram
Facebook