This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

Domestic violence doesn’t always start with a punch. It often starts quietly, with control disguised as concern, isolation disguised as love, and boundaries being chipped away so slowly that it can be hard to recognize what’s happening until the danger is very real.

Denise Brown knows this in the most devastating way possible. Her sister, Nicole Brown Simpson, was murdered in 1994 after experiencing domestic violence in her marriage. For more than 30 years, Denise has dedicated her life to domestic violence awareness, victim advocacy, education, and helping women recognize the warning signs she wishes she had understood then. Her new book, For My Sister Nicole: Love Shouldn’t Hurt, shares Nicole’s story while giving victims, survivors, families, and friends resources that could save lives.

In this episode, Nicole and Denise discuss:

Why domestic violence is about power and control—and why it can happen to strong, independent women

The early warning signs of an abusive relationship that are easy to dismiss or explain away

Why victims may hide abuse to protect their children, family, friends, pets—or even their abuser

The hope, shame, and fear that can make leaving an abusive relationship incredibly complicated

How friends and family can support someone experiencing domestic violence without trying to control their decisions

The importance of safety planning and working with domestic violence shelters when preparing to leave

Why calling 911, documenting abuse, and creating a paper trail can matter

The Domestic Violence Bill of Rights—and the reminder that everyone has the right to safety, respect, their own opinions, and the word “no”

This is a hard conversation, but it’s an important one. Because love should never require someone to live in fear, walk on eggshells, surrender their autonomy, or make themselves smaller to stay safe.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline has trained advocates available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE, by texting START to 88788, or at TheHotline.org.

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Connect with Denise:

Website: https://denisebrown.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/My-Sister-Nicole-Julie-McCarron/dp/B0FXYCGS99

FB: https://www.facebook.com/DeniseBrownToo

IG: https://www.instagram.com/DeniseBrownToo

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/denise-brown-6644762

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Charisma. Some people seem to walk into a room and just have it. People lean in, listen, remember them, and want more time with them. And for those of us who are introverts? Well, it can be easy to assume we were simply left out of the charisma lottery.

But what if charisma isn’t something we’re born with? What if it’s something we can actually learn?

In this episode, Nicole sits down with Olivia Fox Cabane, one of the world’s leading authorities on the science of charisma and bestselling author of The Charisma Myth. Olivia has taught and lectured at Stanford, Harvard, Yale, MIT, and the United Nations and has worked with leaders at companies including Google, Deloitte, TikTok, and Airbnb.

They discuss:

Why charisma is different from charm and likability

The science showing that charisma can actually be learned

Why there isn’t one “right” kind of charisma

The potential downsides of becoming more charismatic

Why introverts may have a major charisma advantage

The three components of charisma: presence, power, and warmth

Why self-criticism makes it harder to stay present and connected

How instant self-forgiveness can help us recover from awkward moments

Why mistakes can actually make us more relatable

Why taking up space matters when communicating power

How vocal patterns like uptalk can affect perceived authority and credibility

The difference between being nice and being kind

Why the harsher the message, the warmer the delivery should be

How intent and impact can help distinguish influence from harmful manipulation

How charisma can exist without likability

Why learning charisma doesn’t require becoming someone else

The goal isn’t to walk into a room and make everyone think, Wow, she’s charismatic. It’s to stop borrowing somebody else’s magnetism and start trusting our own.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Olivia:

Website: https://www.oliviafoxcabane.com/

Book: https://www.charismamyth.com/

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ofc/

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We spend a whole lot of time thinking about how other people perceive us. How we communicate, present, negotiate, network, make a good impression, say the right thing at the right time. Basically, we put a lot of effort into being interesting.

But what if we spent more time being interested?

Because entire conversations are happening around us that have nothing to do with what anyone is actually saying. And we might be missing all of it because we’re too busy planning the next brilliant thing we’re going to say.

In this episode, Nicole sits down with Pamela Meyer, a leading expert on deception detection who trains executives and institutional leaders on information elicitation, social observation, and insider threat mitigation. She’s also the author of How to Read the Room: The Art and Science of Social Observation.

They discuss:

Why being confident in our ability to read a room doesn’t mean we’re actually good at it

Why talking less can help us notice more

How our own ego, biases, and needs distort what we observe

Why asking “How can I make this room better?” can change an interaction

Pamela’s “Triple B” method: background, behavior, and beliefs

What to watch immediately after conflict happens

How to identify informal power and influence in a room

The back-pocket questions that can reveal what people are really thinking

Why crossed arms, eye contact, and other body language “rules” can mislead us

Why clusters of behavior matter more than individual gestures

Verbal and nonverbal signals that may warrant closer attention when deception is suspected

How to avoid confusing anxiety or nervousness with dishonesty

Why context, curiosity, and giving people the benefit of the doubt matter

Maybe the most powerful person in the room isn’t the one talking the most. Maybe it’s the one paying attention.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Pamela:

Website: https://PamelaMeyer.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250378230?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback

X: https://x.com/Pamela_Meyer

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelameyer

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What if the problem isn’t that there aren’t enough hours in the day, but that we’re giving too many of them away?

For a long time, doing more was practically a badge of honor. More meetings. More preparation. More polishing. More yeses. More proving. And while all that effort might get results, it can also leave us burnt out, resentful, and wondering why the hell we’re working this hard when technology was supposed to make our lives easier.

In this episode, Nicole sits down with Fran Hauser, leading career expert, champion of women in the workplace, former President of Digital at Time Inc., startup investor, and acclaimed author of 20 Minutes Is the New Hour: The Ambitious Woman’s Guide to Doing Less and Achieving More.

They discuss:

Why 20 minutes might actually be enough for that hour-long meeting

The four P’s stealing our time: perfectionism, people pleasing, procrastination, and padding

How people pleasing creates overwhelm, burnout, and resentment

The power of pausing before automatically saying yes

Why saying yes to every opportunity can actually work against women professionally

How to recognize what’s underneath procrastination

Why starting messy can create momentum

How shorter timelines can force clarity and keep perfectionism from taking over

The difference between Chronos and Kairos

How leaders can experiment with shorter meetings and meeting-free time

Why doing less isn’t about caring less—it’s about being intentional with our most precious resource

The goal isn’t to reclaim 40 minutes from a meeting just to squeeze two more meetings into the space. It’s to stop giving away so much of our time to habits, expectations, and systems that don’t deserve it.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Fran:

Website: https://www.franhauser.com/

Book: https://www.franhauser.com/twentyminutes

IG: https://www.instagram.com/fran_hauser/

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/franhauser/

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“Just stay positive” might be some of the most useless advice ever given when life is falling apart.

Because resilient optimism isn’t pretending everything is fine, ignoring reality, or slapping a silver lining on something that just plain sucks. It’s believing that even when we can’t control what happens, we still have agency over what we do next.

Michelle Gielan is a positive psychology researcher, bestselling author of Broadcasting Happiness, former CBS Morning News anchor, and author of Resilient Optimism: The Science of Sustaining a Positive Mindset in Tough Times. Her research explores how optimism impacts happiness, resilience, performance, productivity, and our ability to navigate stress, uncertainty, setbacks, and change.

In this episode, Michelle and Nicole unpack why optimism isn’t just a feeling — it’s a behavior.

We explore:

What resilient optimism is — and how it differs from toxic positivity

Why optimism is a behavior we can practice, not just a personality trait

How to hold two truths at once with a “yes, and” mindset

Why our brains naturally focus on threats and negative information

The five trainable behaviors of resilient optimists

How to recalibrate perspective without ignoring reality

Why strategic rest and recovery can improve performance

The impact of negative news, social media, and our information diet

Why relationships and social connection are critical to happiness and optimism

Optimism isn’t believing everything will work out exactly the way we want. It’s believing there’s still something worth doing before we know how the story ends.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Michelle:

Book: https://www.resilientoptimism.com/

Substack: https://michellegielan.substack.com/

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellegielan/

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Share the Love:

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