This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

We spend a whole lot of time thinking about how other people perceive us. How we communicate, present, negotiate, network, make a good impression, say the right thing at the right time. Basically, we put a lot of effort into being interesting.

But what if we spent more time being interested?

Because entire conversations are happening around us that have nothing to do with what anyone is actually saying. And we might be missing all of it because we’re too busy planning the next brilliant thing we’re going to say.

In this episode, Nicole sits down with Pamela Meyer, a leading expert on deception detection who trains executives and institutional leaders on information elicitation, social observation, and insider threat mitigation. She’s also the author of How to Read the Room: The Art and Science of Social Observation.

They discuss:

Why being confident in our ability to read a room doesn’t mean we’re actually good at it

Why talking less can help us notice more

How our own ego, biases, and needs distort what we observe

Why asking “How can I make this room better?” can change an interaction

Pamela’s “Triple B” method: background, behavior, and beliefs

What to watch immediately after conflict happens

How to identify informal power and influence in a room

The back-pocket questions that can reveal what people are really thinking

Why crossed arms, eye contact, and other body language “rules” can mislead us

Why clusters of behavior matter more than individual gestures

Verbal and nonverbal signals that may warrant closer attention when deception is suspected

How to avoid confusing anxiety or nervousness with dishonesty

Why context, curiosity, and giving people the benefit of the doubt matter

Maybe the most powerful person in the room isn’t the one talking the most. Maybe it’s the one paying attention.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Pamela:

Website: https://PamelaMeyer.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250378230?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback

X: https://x.com/Pamela_Meyer

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelameyer

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What if the problem isn’t that there aren’t enough hours in the day, but that we’re giving too many of them away?

For a long time, doing more was practically a badge of honor. More meetings. More preparation. More polishing. More yeses. More proving. And while all that effort might get results, it can also leave us burnt out, resentful, and wondering why the hell we’re working this hard when technology was supposed to make our lives easier.

In this episode, Nicole sits down with Fran Hauser, leading career expert, champion of women in the workplace, former President of Digital at Time Inc., startup investor, and acclaimed author of 20 Minutes Is the New Hour: The Ambitious Woman’s Guide to Doing Less and Achieving More.

They discuss:

Why 20 minutes might actually be enough for that hour-long meeting

The four P’s stealing our time: perfectionism, people pleasing, procrastination, and padding

How people pleasing creates overwhelm, burnout, and resentment

The power of pausing before automatically saying yes

Why saying yes to every opportunity can actually work against women professionally

How to recognize what’s underneath procrastination

Why starting messy can create momentum

How shorter timelines can force clarity and keep perfectionism from taking over

The difference between Chronos and Kairos

How leaders can experiment with shorter meetings and meeting-free time

Why doing less isn’t about caring less—it’s about being intentional with our most precious resource

The goal isn’t to reclaim 40 minutes from a meeting just to squeeze two more meetings into the space. It’s to stop giving away so much of our time to habits, expectations, and systems that don’t deserve it.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Fran:

Website: https://www.franhauser.com/

Book: https://www.franhauser.com/twentyminutes

IG: https://www.instagram.com/fran_hauser/

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/franhauser/

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“Just stay positive” might be some of the most useless advice ever given when life is falling apart.

Because resilient optimism isn’t pretending everything is fine, ignoring reality, or slapping a silver lining on something that just plain sucks. It’s believing that even when we can’t control what happens, we still have agency over what we do next.

Michelle Gielan is a positive psychology researcher, bestselling author of Broadcasting Happiness, former CBS Morning News anchor, and author of Resilient Optimism: The Science of Sustaining a Positive Mindset in Tough Times. Her research explores how optimism impacts happiness, resilience, performance, productivity, and our ability to navigate stress, uncertainty, setbacks, and change.

In this episode, Michelle and Nicole unpack why optimism isn’t just a feeling — it’s a behavior.

We explore:

What resilient optimism is — and how it differs from toxic positivity

Why optimism is a behavior we can practice, not just a personality trait

How to hold two truths at once with a “yes, and” mindset

Why our brains naturally focus on threats and negative information

The five trainable behaviors of resilient optimists

How to recalibrate perspective without ignoring reality

Why strategic rest and recovery can improve performance

The impact of negative news, social media, and our information diet

Why relationships and social connection are critical to happiness and optimism

Optimism isn’t believing everything will work out exactly the way we want. It’s believing there’s still something worth doing before we know how the story ends.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Michelle:

Book: https://www.resilientoptimism.com/

Substack: https://michellegielan.substack.com/

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellegielan/

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Work isn’t exactly working for women.

We have more opportunities, more impressive titles, more responsibility, and more ways to succeed than generations before us. And yet, a whole lot of successful women are exhausted, overwhelmed, underutilized, and wondering: Is this really as good as it gets?

Dr. Helen Krug von Nidda is an executive coach, licensed career counselor, Stanford University instructor, and author of Closing the Fulfillment Gap. She’s spent more than 20 years helping women navigate their careers and create work lives that actually fit who they are today — not who they were when they started climbing the damn ladder.

In this episode, Helen and Nicole unpack the “fulfillment gap” — the distance between what women expected successful careers to feel like and what they’re actually experiencing.

We explore:

Why women can be successful at work and still feel deeply unfulfilled

How autonomy, connection, and competence influence fulfillment

Why what fulfills women changes throughout different career and life stages

The MOVE framework for creating a more fulfilling career

How values can serve as breadcrumbs when the bigger vision isn’t clear

Why knowing what you don’t want can help clarify what you do

The surprising power of “weak ties” and expanding professional networks

Small career changes women can make now to start closing the fulfillment gap

Fulfillment isn’t something waiting at the top of the ladder, and it probably isn’t hiding inside the next promotion either. Women may not control every workplace, leader, system, or outcome — but they do have power over what they pursue, tolerate, change, and choose.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Helen:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/with.dr.helen/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GT9YPC9C/

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helenkrugvonnidda/

Substack: https://substack.com/@withhelen https://www.with-helen.com/

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We love a comeback story. The recovery after the diagnosis. The victory after the struggle. The inspiring lesson wrapped up with a pretty bow and, preferably, some flattering lighting.

But what about when you’re still in it?

Allison Sweet Grant was barely 40, a mother of three, and just beginning her literary career when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her memoir, Lump: A Memoir in Ineloquent Reflections, tells the truth about breast cancer treatment and recovery without cleaning it up for public consumption. There’s fear and hope. Gratitude and anger. Humor and grief.

In this episode, Allison and Nicole talk about the messy emotional reality of a breast cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy and cancer recovery, including the pressure to stay positive, the complicated role of caregivers, and why gratitude doesn’t cancel out grief.

We explore:

Why gratitude, grief, fear, anger, humor, and hope can all exist at once

The pressure cancer patients can feel to stay positive or find the “silver lining”

How cancer affects spouses, children, caregivers, and the entire family

Why humor and sarcasm can be powerful coping mechanisms during difficult experiences

How the need to be liked or seen as a “good patient” can keep women from asking important questions

Why bringing an advocate to medical appointments can make a difference

How fear influences major healthcare decisions — and why Allison wishes she had paused more

The ongoing fear of cancer recurrence and what it means to live in the complicated space between patient and survivor

Because the truth doesn’t need to be positive, polished, perfect, or profound to be worth telling.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year

Connect with Allison:

Website: https://www.allisonsweetgrant.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Lump-Reflections-Allison-Sweet-Grant-ebook/dp/B0GL1H4FJL/

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Share the Love:

If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices