This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

What if being a “good woman” isn’t actually virtuous — but conditioned? In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Elise Loehnen, New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be Good, to dismantle the centuries-old rules that still dictate how women are expected to behave, desire, rest, earn, and lead.

Together, they unpack how the seven deadly sins — yes, those — quietly shape modern women’s lives, ambitions, bodies, money stories, and relationships. Pride, envy, greed, sloth, lust… turns out they’ve been weaponized against women for generations, rewarding self-sacrifice and punishing visibility, appetite, and power.

This conversation goes deep — into patriarchy, good-girl conditioning, reputational harm, money shame, envy as information, and why women are often both the enforcers and the casualties of these ancient rules. If you’ve ever felt exhausted by trying to be good, likable, selfless, and low-maintenance all at once… this episode is your permission slip to stop.

Because goodness that costs you yourself isn’t goodness. It’s conditioning.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

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Connect with Elise:

Substack: eliseloehnen.substack.com 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/eliseloehnen/ 

Book: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehavior 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pulling-the-thread-with-elise-loehnen/id1585015034  

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We’ve been taught to avoid it — to hide it, shame it, or outwork it. But what if failure isn’t the thing that destroys confidence… what if it’s the thing that builds it?

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Jane Chen, co-founder of Embrace Global and author of Like a Wave, We Break, to talk about what happens when success collapses — and why that moment might be the most honest, transformative chapter of your life.

Jane shares the raw story of losing the company she poured a decade into, how her identity unraveled alongside it, and the healing journey that followed — from redefining resilience and self-worth to learning how to listen to her body, sit with discomfort, and rebuild from a place of authenticity instead of achievement.

This conversation dives deep into:


Why failure is a confidence builder, not a confidence killer


How achievement can become a trauma response


Separating your worth from your results, titles, and accolades


Knowing when to keep pushing — and when it’s time to stop


The role of self-compassion, community, and psychological safety in leadership


Why breaking isn’t the end… it’s often the beginning

Because confidence isn’t built by never falling apart. It’s built by trusting yourself to rise again.

This episode is a powerful reminder that failure, fear, and doubt aren’t detours — they’re part of the path. When we stop chasing perfection and start honoring what’s real, we build the kind of confidence that actually lasts.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww

Connect with Jane

Website: https://www.janemariechen.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Like-Wave-We-Break-Falling/dp/0593582349

IG: https://www.instagram.com/janemarie.chen/?hl=en 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janemariechen/

FB: www.facebook.com/janemariechen 

Tiktok: @janemariechen

TEDtalk: https://www.ted.com/talks/jane_marie_chen_what_losing_everything_taught_me_about_resilience

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If you’ve ever wondered “Do I actually matter?” — not in a motivational-poster way, but in the deep, existential, 3am-staring-at-the-ceiling way — this episode is for you.

In this powerful conversation, Nicole Kalil sits down with Rebecca Neuberger Goldstein, award-winning philosopher and author of The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us, to unpack one of the most fundamental human needs: the need to matter.

Together, they explore why mattering may be even more essential than happiness, how our desire to matter shapes our lives, relationships, and conflicts, and why the pressure to prove our worth often leads to comparison, competition, and division. Rebecca introduces the concept of “mattering projects” — the deeply personal ways we justify our lives to ourselves — and why there is no single “right” way to matter.

This episode challenges the idea that mattering is loud, performative, or scarce, and reframes it as an inside-out experience rooted in integrity, connection, and self-justification — not productivity, perfection, or approval.

💥 What we cover:


Why the need to matter may be more fundamental than the need to be happy


The difference between fleeting happiness and long-term flourishing


What a “mattering project” is — and how to recognize yours


Why comparison and competition distort our sense of worth


How mattering becomes dangerous when treated as a zero-sum game


Why the person you most need to matter to… is you


How women have been taught to confuse usefulness with worth


The ethical guardrail: you matter and so does everyone else

Mattering isn’t about being extraordinary, productive, or universally admired — it’s about living in alignment with what you can justify to yourself. You matter not because you prove it, but because you’re here, shaping lives through how you live, lead, and relate.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Rebecca

Website: https://rebeccagoldstein.com/ 

Book: https://rebeccagoldstein.com/the-mattering-instinct/ 

Substack: https://rebeccanewbergergoldstein.substack.com/ 

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For decades, we were sold a lie: get good grades, be smart, keep climbing—and success will magically follow. But in a world of nonstop disruption, AI, political chaos, and careers that don’t come with ladders anymore, IQ and EQ alone aren’t cutting it.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Liz Tran, executive coach, former venture capitalist, and author of AQ: A New Kind of Intelligence for a World That’s Always Changing, to unpack the intelligence that actually determines who thrives when everything keeps shifting: AQ (Agility Quotient).

AQ isn’t about being perfect, flexible to the point of burnout, or endlessly accommodating. It’s about how well you adapt to change, uncertainty, and the unknown—without losing yourself in the process. Liz breaks down the four AQ archetypes (Firefighter, Novelist, Astronaut, Neurosurgeon), how proactive vs. reactive change impacts your life and career, and why adaptability is no longer optional—it’s survival.

This conversation will change how you think about intelligence, leadership, confidence, and what it really takes to succeed when the rules keep changing mid-game.

Bottom line: Intelligence isn’t just what you know—it’s how you respond when what you know stops working.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Liz

Website: https://liz-tran.com/  

Book: https://liz-tran.com/#aq 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/liztranwrites/

Quiz: https://liz-tran.com/#quiz

LI: linkedin.com/in/liztran1 

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The health and wellness industry loves to tell women they’re broken — and then sell them the fix. In this unfiltered and slightly unhinged solo episode, Nicole Kalil calls out wellness culture for what it too often is: rebranded diet culture, influencer-led misinformation, and shame dressed up as self-care.

From green juice guilt to inflammation fear-mongering to TikTok experts blaming women for their own illnesses, Nicole takes aim at an industry that claims to prioritize longevity and quality of life — while obsessing over looking younger, smaller, and more “acceptable.” She shares her own expensive experiments with wellness trends, what actually helped, what didn’t, and why one-size-fits-all solutions are a massive red flag.

This episode is a permission slip to trust your body, question the algorithm, and stop outsourcing your health decisions to people with discount codes and zero accountability. Because real wellness isn’t about perfection — it’s about agency, discernment, and self-trust.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Nicole:

Subscribe to Nicole’s Substack: https://nicolekalil.substack.com/ 

Join the Inner Circle: https://nicolekalil.myflodesk.com/newsletter 

Related Podcast Episode:

Yell for Help | Unfiltered & Unhinged

Ask the Damn Question | Unfiltered & Unhinged

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