This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

Guilt has become so commonplace in women's lives that many of us barely notice it anymore. It shows up when we set boundaries, ask for help, prioritize our careers, take time for ourselves, or simply admit that we can't do everything. But what if much of that guilt isn't a reflection of our values at all? What if it's the result of impossible expectations we've been conditioned to carry?

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Dr. Jennifer Reid, psychiatrist, women's behavioral health expert, educator, podcast host, and author of Guilt-Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations. Together, they unpack how guilt functions as a form of social conditioning, why women are especially vulnerable to carrying unreasonable expectations, and how guilt often keeps us focused on fixing ourselves instead of questioning the systems that created those expectations in the first place.

In This Episode, Nicole and Dr. Jennifer Discuss:

Why guilt can function as a form of social control.

How guilt often masks deeper emotions like sadness, disappointment, and fear.

Who benefits when women remain trapped in cycles of guilt and over-functioning.

Dr. Jennifer's "Guilt Equation" and how expectations create unnecessary guilt.

The four unreasonable expectations—or "Four Furies"—that drive guilt for so many women.

How comparison widens the gap between expectations and reality.

Why women tend to focus on what they're not doing instead of recognizing what they are doing well.

Why the myth of "having it all" continues to fuel guilt and burnout.

Dr. Jennifer's SPEAK framework for recognizing and responding to guilt.

How to identify recurring guilt triggers and challenge the thoughts behind them.

Healthy ways to establish and maintain boundaries without unnecessary guilt.

How to navigate relationships with people who resist or ignore boundaries.

The difference between healthy guilt that encourages growth and unhealthy guilt that keeps women small.

Why letting go of unreasonable guilt is an act of resistance and self-leadership.

Ultimately, this conversation is a reminder that not all guilt deserves our attention, and learning to question where it comes from can be a powerful step toward greater freedom and self-trust.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Jennifer:

Website: https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/

Substack: https://amindofherown.substack.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mind-of-her-own/id1561999981

Guilt Free Groups: https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/guilt-free-groups

IG: https://www.instagram.com/jenreidmd/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Guilt-Free-Reclaiming-Unreasonable-Expectations/dp/0593833465

Related Podcast Episodes:

On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be “Good” with Elise Loehnen | 388

How To Defy Expectations with Dr. Sunita Sah | 271

How To Be Selfish with Naketa Ren Thigpen | 329

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If you’re looking for some encouragement to chase your dreams, if it’s time for you to take that shot, or if you’re just looking for some energy to make it through your day, this is the episode for you!

Judi Holler is a fire starter, an energy shifter, the ultimate hype woman, one of my favorite people to follow on IG, and she’s moving audiences worldwide to take massive action in their lives and businesses. For the last decade, Judi has built an enterprise that includes a robust keynote speaking business, a top podcast, and a best-selling book. Each year, Judi shifts energy in convention centers and ballrooms worldwide with audiences of 50 - 50,000 with her motivational, inspiring, and transformational keynote experiences.

Don’t waste another minute worrying and overthinking… it’s time to HOLLER AT YOUR DREAMS!

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Judi:

Website: https://judiholler.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/judiholler/

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Women are often told that working harder is the key to getting ahead. Deliver exceptional results, say yes to every opportunity, support the team, and eventually someone will notice. But for many women, that strategy doesn't lead to promotions—it leads to becoming indispensable in the very role they're trying to outgrow.

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Patty Azzarello—author, speaker, business advisor, and former Fortune 500 executive—to unpack the unwritten rules that shape career advancement. Drawing from her own journey from awkward introvert to CEO before the age of 40, Patty shares the lessons she learned about visibility, executive presence, influence, and why competence alone is rarely enough to build a successful career.

In This Episode, Nicole and Patty Discuss:

Why being excellent at your job can actually keep you stuck in it.

The hidden career rules that no one teaches—but everyone is expected to know.

The difference between being busy, being valuable, and being visible.

Why women often take on "office housework" that doesn't advance their careers.

How to identify the work that creates the greatest value for the business.

Practical strategies for saying no without damaging relationships.

Why executive presence is often poorly defined—and how to build it authentically.

How bringing humanity to leadership creates greater influence than trying to be impressive.

Why visibility matters just as much as performance when it comes to promotions.

Simple ways to build relationships with senior leaders and decision-makers.

The power of asking for help as a leadership skill.

Why waiting until you feel ready often keeps you from your biggest opportunities.

How healthy conflict strengthens leadership and decision-making.

The career cost of constantly taking care of everyone else.

This conversation is a wake-up call for anyone who has been told that hard work alone is enough. Patty offers a refreshing, practical perspective on what actually drives career growth—and how to start making those shifts today.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW.

Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Patty:

Website: https://pattyazzarello.com/

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pattyazzarello

IG: https://www.instagram.com/pazzarello777/

Related Podcast Episodes:

162 / Compensation Myths with Kelli Thompson

Leadership Unblocked (The Hidden Beliefs Sabotaging Your Ability To Lead) with Muriel M. Wilkins | 367

Why Work Feels Broken (And How Attunement Can Fix It) with Nidhi Tewari | 406

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We explore a common paradox in this episode (and I’ll be up front that this is one I’ve struggled with for most of my career) – and that is, being a likeable badass.

How can we be both liked as a person and respected for our success? How do we get the recognition, negotiate for our value, and create opportunities without our peers or colleagues seeing us as cold, calculating or selfish? How do we create and leverage power and status as women, if we feel icky about the words power and status?

I don’t have the answers, friend, but I know someone who does.

Alison Fragale is the author of Likeable Badass and the Mary Farley Ames Lee Distinguished Scholar of Organizational Behavior at the Kenan-Flagler Business School. Her work has been published in the most prestigious academic journals in her field, and is featured in prominent media outlets such as The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Financial Times, Boston Globe, and many more. A sought-after keynote speaker and trusted advisor, Alison was introduced to me by Adam Grant, and is here today to help us understand more about power, status, and likeability – and how those things impact our ability to get more of what we want.

A loving reminder that whether or not you’re a working professional, we’re ALL negotiating for the things we want, for what matters most to us.

And whether you’re at work or in your personal relationships, your status matters.

It’s time for us to set aside those limiting mindsets because they aren’t serving us or our people.

You can be and become a likable badass.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW.

Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Alison:

Website: https://alisonfragale.com/

Subscribe to Alison’s Substack: https://alisonfragale.substack.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Likeable-Badass-Women-Success-Deserve/dp/0385549148

Group Coaching Program: https://alisonfragale.com/likeable-badass-accelerator/
An 8-week group coaching program designed to help ambitious women build influence, increase visibility, and earn the recognition they deserve. Enter kalil10 at checkout for your discounted rate.

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Divorce is often portrayed as a battle—one that leaves everyone emotionally exhausted and financially depleted. But what if that's not the only path forward?

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Erin Levine, founder and CEO of Hello Divorce, to challenge the common misconceptions surrounding divorce and explore what it actually takes to have a good one. After nearly two decades as a family law attorney, Erin witnessed firsthand how the traditional legal system often creates unnecessary conflict, higher costs, and prolonged emotional distress. That experience inspired her to build a different approach—one that supports people through one of life's biggest transitions with greater clarity, compassion, and confidence.

In This Episode, Nicole and Erin Discuss:

The three legal steps every divorce requires.

Why 95% of divorces are resolved through agreement rather than trial.

Common misconceptions about the divorce process.

State-by-state differences that can significantly impact divorce timelines.

Why divorce should be viewed as a life transition—not just a legal proceeding.

Erin's definition of a "good divorce" and what makes it possible.

Why fear and anger often lead to poor decisions during divorce.

The financial mistakes that frequently cost people thousands of dollars.

The role divorce coaches, mediators, therapists, financial professionals, and real estate experts can play throughout the process.

Practical conversations and ground rules couples can establish before filing for divorce.

Common misconceptions surrounding custody arrangements.

Important considerations when dividing real estate and retirement assets.

Why the end of a marriage doesn't necessarily mean the relationship failed.

Ultimately, the conversation reframes divorce as a process that can be navigated with clarity, dignity, and support rather than conflict.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW.

Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Erin:

Website: https://hellodivorce.com/

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinlevine/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/hellodivorce

Related Podcast Episodes:

047 / Mindset, Resilience & Divorce with Susan Tripi

The Collaborative Co-Parent (How To Put Your Kids First) with Gabriella Pomare | 401

Healing Relationships: The 4 Essential Pillars for Lasting Love with Dr. Rachel Glik | 283

Share the Love:

If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!

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