Adult Child

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Shitshow Saturday #127
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Somebody doesn't text you back and suddenly you feel like you're going to die. You're not being pathetic. You're in a flashback.
Welcome to the living hell of emotional flashbacks. Your reaction never matches the situation in front of you, and even when you know that in your head, it doesn't make you feel any better. This is the single most painful symptom of CPTSD.
Today I'm taking you all the way back, from the very first emotional flashback I ever had at nine years old to the most intense one of my entire life just a few years ago. I'm not holding anything back.
✨ What this episode explores
▪️ Your Brain During a Flashback — Understanding the two separate mechanisms and childhood experiences that produce one, and why only one of them involves a memory at all.
▪️ When There's No Memory to Point To — How the small stuff repeated a thousand times encodes just as deep as one terrifying moment, so there's nothing to trace it back to and nothing to prove it "counts."
▪️ Walking a Kid Through Trauma — The exact steps a calm adult takes to stop a scary moment from wiring in for life, and why saying it out loud is what does the healing.
▪️ Recognizing a Flashback in Real Time — How to tell you're in one and not just upset, and the first move that starts pulling you back out.
▪️ Your Triggers Are Your Treasures — What the four categories of trigger reveal, including the ones you'd never suspect like success and praise, and why whatever sets you off is pointing straight at the wound.
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🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:
▪️ Ep 201 | Trauma-Bonded No More: My Journey Through Shame, Regression & Finding My Way Back
▪️ SHITSHOW SATURDAY #164 | The Living Hell of Emotional Flashbacks

Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com
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⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
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💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co
Shitshow Saturday #127
🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Abandonment Trauma Queen is back on the pod, and today we're heading into uncharted territory: borderline vs. abandonment trauma. What truly separates the two, and why the BPD label gets handed out way too easily.
Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist and a pioneer in the field of abandonment trauma, and she's spent the last three decades helping people heal. She's the author of The Abandonment Recovery Workbook (a book that truly changed my life) and Taming Your Outer Child. Having worked with thousands of people over the course of her career, she joins me to share what she's learned about telling the difference between BPD and CPTSD.
✨ What this episode explores
▪️What Actually Separates BPD From CPTSD — Why the dividing line isn't emotional intensity, but whether the pain distorts reality into a false narrative.
▪️Why Untreated Abandonment Escalates — How emotional reactivity compounds from one relationship to the next when the wound underneath is never addressed.
▪️Overthinking as an Abandonment Response — Why compulsive rumination is your brain searching for a lost attachment object, not actually solving anything.
▪️Why the Outer Child Fights Change — How the self-sabotaging part is persistent by design and actively wants to stay in charge.
▪️Self-Love as Behavior, Not Affirmation — Why the relationship with yourself is built through concrete action and written dialogue, not by deciding to love yourself.
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🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:
▪️ Ep 47 — Abandonment Trauma w/ Susan Anderson
▪️ Ep 97 — The Outer Child & Abandonment Trauma w/ Susan Anderson
▪️ Ep 161 — Abandonment Trauma Expert Susan Anderson on Rejection and Equating Love with Insecurity
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⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co
Shitshow Saturday #127
🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy