Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

In this deeply personal episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares her own experiences with miscarriage and the difficult questions that often accompany loss. Through stories of grief, fear, and surrender, she reflects on the difference between questioning God's goodness and learning to trust His goodness even when circumstances don't make sense.
Whether you're walking through pregnancy loss yourself or supporting a mom friend who is, this conversation offers biblical encouragement, honest hope, and practical ways to care for those who are grieving. Together, we'll explore what it looks like to cling to God in heartbreak and find comfort in His unchanging character when life feels uncertain.

In this episode:
Scarlet's personal experiences with miscarriage
Wrestling with faith in seasons of loss
Trusting God's goodness when life doesn't feel good
Biblical encouragement for grieving moms
Practical ways to support someone experiencing pregnancy loss
Finding hope and healing in Christ amid unanswered questions

If you've ever wondered how to hold both grief and faith at the same time, this episode is for you!

Today's Scripture Focus:
Psalm 34:18, Romans 8:32, Lamentations 3:22-23, John 11:35
Special thanks to Scarlet’s little tiny infant baby sister (who is 32!) Aubrey Fuhrman, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.

Resources:
The Adventure Bible
Get to know Scarlet here
Sign up for Morning Minute
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Scarlet’s Instagram
Scarlet’s Facebook

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS
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How do you talk to your kids about cancer, suffering, terminal illness, or the possibility of losing someone they love?
Whether it's a grandparent's diagnosis, a chronic illness, a devastating loss, or another painful reality, there comes a moment when we realize we cannot protect our children from every hard thing this side of heaven.
In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a deeply personal place as she reflects on her mother's battle with stage-four cancer and the challenges of helping her own children navigate grief, uncertainty, and difficult questions. How much do we tell our kids? Should they see us cry? How do we help them process suffering when we're still processing it ourselves?
Together, we'll explore what Scripture teaches about suffering, why Christian hope is different from wishful thinking, and how parents can model faith in the middle of fear. Rather than shielding our children from every hardship, we have the opportunity to show them what it looks like to trust Jesus when life hurts.
This conversation is ultimately about more than cancer. It's about helping our children discover that God's presence is real, His promises are trustworthy, and His love remains steadfast even when life feels fragile.

Today's Scripture Focus:
2 Corinthians 4:16–18
"Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day..."

Special thanks to Jennifer Sieber, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.

Resources:
Get to know Scarlet here
Sign up for Morning Minute
Hopeful-ish: Sadness, Weariness, Donkey Attacks, More Sadness, and Other Stuff You Need the Gospel For
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Scarlet’s Instagram
Scarlet’s Facebook

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do you talk to your kids about cancer, suffering, terminal illness, or the possibility of losing someone they love?
Whether it's a grandparent's diagnosis, a chronic illness, a devastating loss, or another painful reality, there comes a moment when we realize we cannot protect our children from every hard thing this side of heaven.
In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a deeply personal place as she reflects on her mother's battle with stage-four cancer and the challenges of helping her own children navigate grief, uncertainty, and difficult questions. How much do we tell our kids? Should they see us cry? How do we help them process suffering when we're still processing it ourselves?
Together, we'll explore what Scripture teaches about suffering, why Christian hope is different from wishful thinking, and how parents can model faith in the middle of fear. Rather than shielding our children from every hardship, we have the opportunity to show them what it looks like to trust Jesus when life hurts.
This conversation is ultimately about more than cancer. It's about helping our children discover that God's presence is real, His promises are trustworthy, and His love remains steadfast even when life feels fragile.
Today's Scripture Focus:
2 Corinthians 4:16–18
"Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day..."
Special thanks to Jennifer Sieber, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.

Resources:
Get to know Scarlet here
Sign up for Morning Minute
Hopeful-ish: Sadness, Weariness, Donkey Attacks, More Sadness, and Other Stuff You Need the Gospel For
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Scarlet’s Instagram
Scarlet’s Facebook

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do we help our children navigate change when their hearts are breaking over what they're leaving behind?
In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a lifetime of moving, from her childhood years spent relocating across the country to the many ministry moves she's made as a wife and mom. She explores the unique challenges of helping children process transitions, say goodbye to people and places they love, and learn to trust God in unfamiliar seasons.
Drawing from personal stories of moving with young children, leaving beloved churches and communities, and helping her family build new lives in new places, Scarlet discusses the tension many parents feel: wanting their children to embrace what's ahead without minimizing the grief of what's being left behind.
But this episode isn't ultimately about moving.
It's about belonging.
It's about helping our children understand that while homes, schools, churches, friendships, and circumstances may change, God never does.
Through biblical examples like Abraham, Moses, Ruth, and the Israelites, Scarlet highlights a powerful theme woven throughout Scripture: God's people have always been travelers, strangers, and sojourners learning to trust Him in unfamiliar places. The Christian life has never been about finding perfect security in this world. It's about learning to anchor our hearts in the One who never changes.

In this episode, Scarlet discusses:
• How to help children grieve the people, places, and routines they love
• Why grief is not evidence that a move or transition was a mistake
• The tension of feeling both excitement and sadness during major life changes
• Biblical examples of faithful people who followed God into the unknown
• Why earthly homes, relationships, and comforts make poor ultimate foundations
• How transitions reveal where we are placing our security and identity
• Practical ways to help children build trust in God's faithfulness during uncertain seasons
• How to cultivate gratitude for God's gifts without clinging too tightly to them

Today's Scripture Focus: Hebrews 11:13–16

A special thank you to Caroline Downen who shared her own moving to Japan and back experience during the Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.

00:00 Embracing Transitions: A Personal Journey
12:02 Navigating Grief and Change with Kids
17:50 Finding Home in a Changing World

Resources:
Get to know Scarlet here
Sign up for Morning Minute
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Scarlet’s Instagram
Scarlet’s Facebook

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do you love your children well when every one of them seems to need something completely different from you?
In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal explores one of the most common tensions in motherhood: the desire to make sure each child feels deeply loved, seen, and secure, even when their personalities, needs, struggles, and seasons of life look nothing alike.
Drawing from her own experience parenting four very different children, including sharing the adoption story of her daughter Joy, Scarlet reflects on the unique challenges and unexpected gifts that come with loving children individually rather than identically. From navigating a wide age gap between siblings to understanding different temperaments, emotional needs, and life experiences, she discusses the pressure many moms feel to keep everything equal, and why equal isn't always the same as loving well.
At the heart of this conversation is a beautiful gospel truth: God Himself does not interact with every one of His children in exactly the same way. Throughout Scripture, we see a God who knows people personally, pursues them individually, and meets them in the unique circumstances of their lives. He is not a generic Father offering generic love. He is a deeply personal God who sees, knows, and cares for each of His children completely.
This episode is also a reminder that our children's deepest security will never come from having perfectly balanced parents or perfectly equal circumstances. Their security comes from knowing they are fully known and fully loved by God. While we will inevitably fall short, the good news of the gospel is that our children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who consistently point them to the only perfect Father.
Today's Scripture Focus:
Psalm 139
A special thank you to Scarlet's 13-year-old daughter, Joy, for joining this week's Messy Mom Moment. If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.

00:00
Introduction and Episode Overview
19:17
The Beauty of Individual Love in Family Dynamics
21:15
Understanding God's Personal Love for Us
23:32
Biblical Examples of Tailored Love
25:42
Practical Steps for Unique Parenting
27:30
Closing Thoughts and Encouragement

Resources:
Get to know Scarlet here
Sign up for Morning Minute
Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Scarlet’s Instagram
Scarlet’s Facebook

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy