Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

How do you love your children well when every one of them seems to need something completely different from you?
In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal explores one of the most common tensions in motherhood: the desire to make sure each child feels deeply loved, seen, and secure, even when their personalities, needs, struggles, and seasons of life look nothing alike.
Drawing from her own experience parenting four very different children, including sharing the adoption story of her daughter Joy, Scarlet reflects on the unique challenges and unexpected gifts that come with loving children individually rather than identically. From navigating a wide age gap between siblings to understanding different temperaments, emotional needs, and life experiences, she discusses the pressure many moms feel to keep everything equal, and why equal isn't always the same as loving well.
At the heart of this conversation is a beautiful gospel truth: God Himself does not interact with every one of His children in exactly the same way. Throughout Scripture, we see a God who knows people personally, pursues them individually, and meets them in the unique circumstances of their lives. He is not a generic Father offering generic love. He is a deeply personal God who sees, knows, and cares for each of His children completely.
This episode is also a reminder that our children's deepest security will never come from having perfectly balanced parents or perfectly equal circumstances. Their security comes from knowing they are fully known and fully loved by God. While we will inevitably fall short, the good news of the gospel is that our children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who consistently point them to the only perfect Father.
Today's Scripture Focus:
Psalm 139
A special thank you to Scarlet's 13-year-old daughter, Joy, for joining this week's Messy Mom Moment. If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.

Resources:
Get to know Scarlet here
Sign up for Morning Minute
Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide
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Pardon The Mess
Scarlet’s Instagram
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Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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It’s officially Scarlet Hiltibidal’s first episode as the new host of Pardon the Mess, and she’s kicking things off with a conversation every mom needs to hear.
If you’ve ever laid in bed replaying your parenting failures, wondered if your bad moments are shaping your kids forever, or felt crushed under the pressure to “get motherhood right,” this episode is for you.
Scarlet shares honest stories from her own home, the parenting advice that radically changed her perspective as a young mom, and the freeing truth that the gospel was never about pretending we’re perfect parents. It’s about pointing our children to a perfect Savior.
She explores how our failures can actually become places where grace shines bright, why joy and peace in motherhood cannot be built on performance, and how repentance, humility, and dependence on Jesus create a healthier home than image management ever could.
In this episode, Scarlet talks about:
• Why motherhood often feels spiritually heavy and emotionally exhausting
• The difference between parenting for performance versus parenting from grace
• How our identity in Christ changes the way we respond to our failures
• The beauty of apologizing to our kids and modeling repentance
• Why children do not need flawless parents — they need parents who know Jesus
• How the Holy Spirit empowers us to live with joy, peace, and dependence instead of striving
• Practical ways to reset the tone of your home when everything feels chaotic
This episode is a reminder that your worst moments are not the truest thing about you. Jesus is still present in the mess, still forming your children, and still offering grace for today.
Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teenagers, or somewhere in between, this conversation will help you exhale, laugh a little, and remember what matters most.
Today's Scripture Focus: Romans 8:1-4
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mom friend who needs some hope today.
Special thanks to Michelle Glass who shared a beautiful testimony for this week's Messy Mom Moment!

Resources:
Get to know Scarlet here
Afraid of All the Things
Sign up for Morning Minute
Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Scarlet’s Instagram
Scarlet’s Facebook

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Pardon the Mess is a podcast for Christian moms who love Jesus, love their kids, and still feel behind on most days. Each week, host Scarlet takes one real parenting mess (morning meltdowns, discipline guilt, raising kind kids in a world that doesn't feel kind) and untangles it with honesty and grace, one small, faithful step at a time. No five-step systems. No longer to-do lists. Just clarity about what matters most and permission to let the rest go.

Pardon the Mess is part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be, visit www.ChristianParenting.org.

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Well, it’s a bittersweet day for me. I am delighted to introduce you to your NEW HOST of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal. This is my last episode as your host, and I am feeling all the emotions. I am grateful and sad and feeling so much peace.

Thank you for letting me into your lives for a few years. I pray God encouraged you in your role as a Christian parent. A special thanks to Jill Jefferson, Steph Thurling, Jeannette Tapley and the entire team at Christian Parenting. I couldn’t have done it without you all.

Today, you will get to know Scarlet and her family. She has a beautiful heart for the Lord and the imperfect journey of parenting. She is passionate about the gospel and has a new twist on the Thursday episodes. And great news - the Monday prayer episodes will be returning after the summer!

Much love and gratitude,
Courtney DeFeo 

00:00 Introduction and Family Dynamics
03:03 Scarlet's Unique Childhood and Background
06:00 Transition to Writing and Parenting
08:57 The Journey to Becoming a Writer
11:55 Joining Christian Parenting and Future Plans
16:15 Navigating Parenting Challenges with Grace
21:13 Embracing Imperfection in Parenting
25:00 Finding Hope Amidst Struggles
30:32 Preparing for the Future of Parenting Podcast

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:
Connect with Scarlet Hiltibidal
Connect with Courtney DeFeo
Open a LearningRX center
Summer Reading Picks

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Sign up for Morning Minute

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)
All the people we have talked about this year are heroes of faith. Whether they were named or unnamed, their stories hold significance in God’s word, which is always worthy of our attention! As much as we want our kids to take on the characteristics of the people in this great cloud of witnesses, our primary desire is that our kids become like Jesus, our rabbi, friend, perfect king, and our Savior.
We become more and more like Jesus as we spend more time with him. It’s the process of sanctification, or being made holy. We cannot be fully sanctified on this side of heaven, but the Holy Spirit does work within us as we surrender, obey, and return to him when we get it wrong. We are shaped to look more and more like Jesus.
Our kids will make mistakes, struggle with sin, and face challenges. We all do; it’s part of living in a broken world. But as they become more like him, their responses to those things will change because becoming more like Jesus means choosing truth over lies, kindness over gossip, love over selfishness, and obedience over comfort.
As we end this year of praying for our kids, let’s pray that our kids become like Jesus, that they live such a full life of faith that others will say, “They loved like Jesus loved.”
Jesus, sanctify __________ through your Spirit. Shape their heart to reflect you in how they love, serve, follow, and obey. May they go to you every day and learn to talk with you and listen to your voice all day long. May they allow you to help them be more like you every day so that your light shines through them. Amen.

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