Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids
Courtney DeFeo and Christian Parenting
As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discus...
“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (Proverbs 3:11–12)Because we love our kids and want what’s best for them, we want them to grow up to be well-rounded, healthy, successful, godly people, so we establish boundaries in their lives and we reinforce them when they are broken. We explain why certain rules exist and how to act in social situations. We correct. We talk. We talk some more. We lose our cool. We say sorry. We hug. We discipline our kids. Because the Lord loves us and wants what’s best for us, he is constantly changing us and conforming us into the image of Christ through spiritual discipline because he wants us to become more and more like Jesus. God’s discipline is not meant to hurt us, it is never out of anger, and it’s not about perfect behavior; it is to protect us and grow our relationship with him. The Lord’s discipline is not to punish us, it is to transform us. Understanding this requires spiritual maturity in our kids that they will gain as they follow Jesus through their lives.So let’s pray that our kids will grow to see that God’s discipline in their lives is a wonderful part of following him—it means he is taking an active part in growing them to be more and more like him for his good purpose.Father God, you are a good father who loves your children. Thank you for calling ________ your child. Help them to see you as a father who disciplines out of love and care, not out of anger and rules. You want what's best for your kids and you know how much sin hurts us, help them to experience the peace that comes from confession and forgiveness! Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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How to talk to your kids about sexual integrity with Jim Burns and Erin Mashaw
Raise your hands if you are excited about talking with your teen about sexual integrity? Not me. These are hard, but necessary conversations we must have with our kids. I have the very best voices in this area, Jim Burns and Erin Mashaw, on the podcast today.In this episode, we discuss the complexities of parenting, particularly in relation to sexuality and communication. We talk about the importance of early education on sexual integrity, the challenges posed by the purity culture and the need for open dialogue between parents and children. The bottom line is our kids need a healthy and safe place to talk about their sexuality. As a parent, that can feel very scary. You will love these two and want to pick up their newest book - that gives you and your teen some language that will help. Our kids are all curious about sexuality and bombarded with messages that are far from biblical truth. Erin and Jim approach a tough topic with such love and grace. In this episode, we chat about:How to start conversations about sexuality early How purity culture created shame around sexualityUnderstanding curiosity and boundaries How to encourage dating in a way that fosters healthy relationshipsEnjoy!Courtney00:00Introduction to Parenting Challenges05:58The Importance of Early Education12:05The Scope of the New Book17:45Navigating Honesty in Parenting23:43Embracing Differences in Family Dynamics30:10The Long Game of ParentingConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:The Unbreakable Boy movieJim’s Organization - HomeWordConnect with JimConnect with ErinA Student’s Guide To Sexual Integrity -Erin and Jim’s new bookDoing Life With Your Adult Children with Jim BurnsAffresh for your laundryCourtney’s Amazon ListPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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BONUS: Follow: Spiritual Gifts
“God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another” (1 Peter 4:10 NLT)One of our strong desires as parents is for our kids to find a place of belonging in the world. We want our kids to know that who they are and what they have to offer is important and valuable, and spiritual gifts are one of the ways God empowers us to find belonging and purpose in the world. Helping our kids discover and use their spiritual gifts well will help them see the bigger picture of how they fit into God’s kingdom. God made each and every one of our kids uniquely and he gave them all spiritual gifts. Some of these gifts are: teaching, serving, administration, hospitality, mercy, prayer, and more. Spiritual gifts are meant to be used to bring glory to God and using them becomes a testimony of how he has worked in our lives. This week let’s pray that as our kids follow the Lord, they discover their spiritual gifts, grow into them, and that they are presented with opportunities to use them to serve God’s kingdom. Let’s also ask God to help us recognize spiritual gifts in our kids and to share what we see with them. Dear God, thank you for the spiritual gifts that you have given ________________. Please reveal to me and to them what those gifts are and show us how you want to use these gifts to encourage others and bring others to Christ. Help them to start to see your purpose for them and to boldly use their gifts to please you! I know you will use them in mighty and awesome ways! Remind my child to value the gifts that you have given them over the things that this world values. Spiritual Gifts test mentioned in episode: https://www.lifeway.com/en/articles/women-leadership-spiritual-gifts-growth-serviceGet your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Are you overparenting? With Steph Thurling
This week’s episode is packed with insights and practical advice for navigating the complexities of parenting during the middle school years. I’m joined by Steph Thurling, and together we dive into balancing love, independence, and the continuous learning process of parenting.Here are four key takeaways from this episode:Parenting evolves as children grow, and middle school years often require creative ways to re-engage with your kids. Allowing children to experience failure helps them develop responsibility and confidence. Overparenting can hinder independence—parents should guide their children through problems, not shield them from them. Self-care for parents is crucial to maintaining balance and avoiding guilt in the parenting journey. Steph Thurling is the executive director of Christian Parenting and the host of the Christian Parenting podcast where she encourages parents every week to be the imperfectly perfect parent God created them to be. She is also an author, speaker, and advocate for empowering parents to create lasting family connections. I love working alongside Steph at Christian Parenting. She’s a delight and filled with wisdom and encouragement. Enjoy!Courtney (01:57) Navigating Parenting Stages(06:10) Engaging with Middle Schoolers(10:07) The Balance of Hovering and Letting Go(13:57) Preparing for Independence(18:02) Overparenting: Understanding the Roots(21:06) Navigating the Challenges of Letting Go in Parenting(24:35) The Importance of Self-Care and Mom Guilt(26:54) Recognizing Red Flags in Parenting Dynamics(28:54) Practical Strategies to Avoid Over-Parenting(31:37) Embracing Independence and Building Confidence in Kids(34:49) The Balance of Love and Guidance in ParentingConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Christian Parenting PodcastPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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BONUS: Confession
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)Confession is not something that we are typically very comfortable with. No one likes to admit when they do something wrong, especially when it’s something hurtful or will cause someone to feel disappointed in them. Confessing is vulnerable, it’s revealing, and sometimes it’s just downright embarrassing. But like it or not, confession is part of following Jesus.But when we bring our sins to God we can be assured that he will forgive us. He will make our transgressions as far from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). God wants to forgive us!In his steadfast love and compassion, Jesus forgives our sins and forgets our transgressions when we confess them. When we start to feel ashamed or guilty, we can remind ourselves that Christ died for that sin too. There is nothing we can do or say that will make God love us less or love us more. He just simply loves us!Accepting forgiveness requires action from us, though. First, we must confess and then turn from our sin. In John 8, Jesus forgives the woman who was committing adultery, but as he forgives her, he tells her to, “go and sin no more,” (verse 11). Second, we must forgive others. God expects his followers to forgive each other just as he forgave them (Ephesians 4:32).Confessing our sins is our get-to and should be a regular part of our faith! There is freedom that can be found in confessing our sins regularly, so let’s pray that our kids experience that freedom and experience a desire to confess to God.Father God, you are faithful to forgive our sins. I pray that __________ would understand the gift of confession and forgiveness. May your Holy Spirit stir up in them a heart to know you better, a spirit of conviction, and a desire to make things right with you. May ________ always remember that there is no condemnation for those who believe, but in you there is freedom. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
About Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids
As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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