The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast

In this powerful episode, Brad May returns for Part 2 of a raw and honest conversation about leadership, resilience, identity, and what it truly takes to win at the highest level.
Brad reflects on being traded multiple times during his NHL career, adapting to new teams, and learning how to integrate into different locker rooms without disrupting culture. He shares the emotional journey of winning the Stanley Cup with the Anaheim Ducks — and why celebrating that moment with his family meant more than the trophy itself.
The conversation expands beyond hockey into business leadership. Brad breaks down why coaches are “salesmen,” why clarity of vision is essential, and why delegation without interference builds trust. He unpacks the difference between playing not to lose versus playing to win — and why excuses quietly erode culture.
At its core, this episode is about ownership. Ownership of performance. Ownership of mistakes. Ownership of mindset.
As Brad says, there is no “try.” You either do or you don’t.
Episode Highlights:
0:00 - Mindset over body: eliminating "try" and taking ownership
0:34 - Welcome and introduction to part two of the episode
1:31 - Adapting to seven different NHL teams and building new relationships
6:00 - Winning the 2007 Stanley Cup with Anaheim after 16-year career
7:50 - Scott Niedermeyer's perspective on being lucky to share the Cup with family
11:04 - What makes a good coach: selling a system and getting buy-in
13:49 - Comparing coaching styles: Mark Crawford vs Ted Nolan vs Randy Carlisle
15:30 - Ted Nolan's simple advice: "Just play left wing" analogy
17:31 - Randy Carlisle's relentless work ethic and pursuit of excellence
21:28 - Why some players leave the game bitter and unfulfilled
25:08 - Identity after hockey: from "I used to be" to "I am a hockey player"
30:28 - Eliminating excuses: "You either do or you don't"
33:28 - Leadership lesson from Brian Burke: delegating responsibility to coaches
55:38 - Playing to win vs playing not to lose: the power of identifying your goal
58:38 - The bar speech that united the team and families to win together

Key Takeaways:
Leaders must communicate crystal-clear goals (short, medium, and long term).
Identity loss can derail high performers after retirement or career shifts.
Playing to “not lose” creates hesitation; playing to win creates momentum.
Ownership beats excuses — every time.
Leaders must reflect on whether failure was execution or lack of resources.
Energy, clarity, and consistency win over time.
You must declare what you want — silence guarantees nothing.

Resources Mentioned:
The Secret (law of attraction concept)
Tony Robbins – mindset principle referenced
NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) era in NCAA athletics
Cold plunge discipline practice
Billions (TV show reference for executive coaching concept)

Notable Quotes:
“Your mind is in charge. Doesn’t matter what your body feels, just do it.” - Brad May
“It’s okay if you’re not successful, but own it and learn from it and let’s go. Let’s keep moving.” - Brad May
“The moment that a coach compromises his values, he's not the same guy and he's probably not as good.” - Brad May
“A coach is just a salesman. He needs 25 guys to buy in.” - Brad May
“You gotta enjoy the small wins.” - Dwayne Kerrigan
“There's just some people, some leaders, who are just not having the hard enough conversations.” - Dwayne Kerrigan
“You also have to have people around you that are willing to say - hey, you're being either too easy or too hard. Like you just, you have to have a team around you to help you identify as a leader.” - Dwayne Kerrigan

Guest Bio:
Brad May is a former NHL forward whose 19-year career spanned more than 1,000 regular-season games across the league. He is a Stanley Cup champion, winning with the Anaheim Ducks in 2007, and remains a recognizable figure in hockey history for his 1993 overtime playoff goal against Boston, remembered by fans as the iconic “May Day” moment.
Following his retirement from professional hockey in 2010, May transitioned into broadcasting, working as an NHL analyst with CBC, Rogers Sportsnet, and AT&T SportsNet, where his candid, player-first perspective made him a natural presence on air. In 2024, May entered a new chapter off the ice, joining NFP as a Client Executive, where he works with businesses and individuals on insurance and risk management.

Guest Social Links:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/maydayhockey
LinkedIn: ca.linkedin.com/in/brad-may-24228662

Connect with Dwayne Kerrigan:
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
Website
Disclaimer: The views, information, or opinions expressed by guests during The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Dwayne Kerrigan and his affiliates. Dwayne Kerrigan or The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast is not responsible for and does not verify the accuracy of any of the information contained in the podcast series. The primary purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. Listeners are advised to consult with a qualified professional or specialist before making any decisions based on the content of this podcast.

In this episode of The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast, former NHL veteran Brad May joins Dwayne for candid conversation about leadership, grit, and longevity — on and off the ice.
Brad reflects on his 19-year NHL career, what separated players who made it from those who didn’t, and why mental fortitude mattered more than raw talent. From locker room lessons and team dynamics to integrity in business and life, Brad shares the foundational principles that shaped his journey: set achievable goals, outwork the competition, do the right thing — even when no one is watching.
He speaks openly about fear, discipline, evolving training methods, investing in himself, and the power of speaking goals into existence. Whether you’re building a business, leading a team, or chasing a dream, this conversation is a masterclass in character, culture, and consistency.
Episode Highlights:
0:00 - Opening: The power of achievable goals and how success begets success
2:10 - Amazing Race experience: A month of uninterrupted father-daughter bonding
8:13 - Ken May's integrity story: Choosing ethics over extra commission in real estate
13:36 - Playing 1,041 NHL games: The 5% club and what it takes to last 19 years
14:47 - The Miracle on Ice: Herb Brooks' leadership and the power of divide and conquer
21:36 - Training evolution: What Brad wishes he knew then vs. what athletes know now
27:54 - Nathan McKinnon's training: Heavy lifting before games to wake up the nervous system
33:28 - Building championship teams: The right mix of leaders, followers, convicts, and dreamers
39:04 - Locker room lesson: When Pat LaFontaine taught Brad about playing smart vs. playing hard
49:35 - The power of manifestation: Speaking your goals into existence
58:13 - "You can't get blood from a rock": Brad's mental fortitude superpower
1:02:03 - Parenting reflection: Being too soft on the next generation vs. learning through adversity

Key Takeaways:
Success is the realization of a predetermined goal
Achievable goals create momentum and compound wins
Longevity requires discipline beyond talent
Mental fortitude is a competitive advantage
You cannot succeed alone — success is collective
Speak goals into existence and back them with action

Resources Mentioned:
The Secret (law of attraction concept)
Miracle on Ice (1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team story)
Herb Brooks leadership model
Journaling & written goal-setting

Quotes:
“Set your goals, achievable goals, and you do that on a regular basis and you're gonna get to where you're going.” - Brad May
“The definition of success is the realization of a predetermined goal.” - Brad May
“You can’t get blood from a rock.” - Brad May
“Leadership shows up in a lot of different ways.” - Dwayne Kerrigan
“The strongest force in the human psyche is to remain congruent with how we identify ourselves.” - Dwayne Kerrigan

Brad May is a former NHL forward whose 19-year career spanned more than 1,000 regular-season games across the league. He is a Stanley Cup champion, winning with the Anaheim Ducks in 2007, and remains a recognizable figure in hockey history for his 1993 overtime playoff goal against Boston, remembered by fans as the iconic “May Day” moment.

Following his retirement from professional hockey in 2010, May transitioned into broadcasting, working as an NHL analyst with CBC, Rogers Sportsnet, and AT&T SportsNet, where his candid, player-first perspective made him a natural presence on air. In 2024, May entered a new chapter off the ice, joining NFP as a Client Executive, where he works with businesses and individuals on insurance and risk management.
Links
Instagram: www.instagram.com/maydayhockey
LinkedIn: ca.linkedin.com/in/brad-may-24228662

Connect with Dwayne Kerrigan
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
Website
Disclaimer: The views, information, or opinions expressed by guests during The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Dwayne Kerrigan and his affiliates. Dwayne Kerrigan or The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast is not responsible for and does not verify the accuracy of any of the information contained in the podcast series. The primary purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. Listeners are advised to consult with a qualified professional or specialist before making any decisions based on the content of this podcast.

In Part 2 of this conversation, Emma Murray and Dwayne Kerrigan move from awareness into practical performance tools. Emma introduces one of the most powerful distinctions in high performance: critique versus criticism.
She explains why self-criticism is a survival response that quietly destroys confidence, slows learning, and locks people into repeated mistakes. Through examples from elite sport, sales, leadership, parenting, and everyday life, Emma breaks down how to review performance by examining the entire process — thoughts, feelings, actions, and results — rather than attacking outcomes or identity.
The conversation also dives into fear-based leadership, tunnel vision, stress responses, and why people perform worse when they feel watched, pressured, or unsafe. Emma shares actionable techniques to regain presence under pressure, including breath, body awareness, and “small focus” anchors that keep the mind out of fight-or-flight. This episode equips leaders, entrepreneurs, and performers with a repeatable framework for learning faster, leading better, and performing consistently — even when stakes are high.
Episode Highlights:
00:00 – Emma on self-kindness under pressure and stopping the internal threat response
01:00 – Dwayne intro + framing Part 2: turning attention and mindset into action
02:00 – Critique over criticism: how thoughts drive feelings, actions, and results
03:30 – Outcome focus vs process focus and why pressure hijacks performance
05:05 – How to critique the entire performance process (thinking, feeling, doing)
06:40 – Turning failure into growth by extracting the right lessons
08:00 – Why quarterly reviews fail and daily reflection matters
09:45 – Coaching teams beyond checklists and task correction
11:25 – A-game vs B-game language and building awareness in teams
13:40 – Leaders, fear, control, and psychological safety
15:30 – Running toward outcomes vs accessing creativity and big-picture thinking
17:30 – The “flashlight of attention” metaphor for leaders and parents
19:40 – Stress responses, presence, and anchoring attention (breath, feet, listening)
22:00 – Training attention as a performance muscle
25:45 – Stress cycles, recovery, and sustainable performance
29:10 – Introduction to the Closed Eye Process and presence training
32:00 – Deep dive: critiquing vs criticizing explained step-by-step
36:30 – Survival wiring, subconscious files, and performance memory
39:30 – The CHIMP brain, danger signals, and slipping into B-game
42:30 – Small controllable focus as the pathway back to A-game
Key Takeaways:
Critique examines process, not personal worth
Thoughts drive feelings, feelings drive actions, actions drive results
Growth comes from extracting learnings — not from failure alone
Fear narrows focus and creates tunnel vision
Small, controllable focus prevents fight-or-flight
Connection reduces fear and restores execution

Quotes:
“Failure does not give you growth if you are not actually eliciting the lessons from it.” - Emma Murray
“Feet on floor, bum on chair … Bring your attention to your feet, your bum, your breath … those things are gonna anchor you back into the present moment” - Emma Murray
“When all this fails, use your breath” - Emma Murray
“The human mind cannot carry two thoughts simultaneously.” - Dwayne Kerrigan
Resources Mentioned
Critique Over Criticism Framework
A-Game / B-Game Performance Model
CHIMP Paradox – Dr. Steve Peters
Closed-Eye Process

Emma is sought-after by ASX 100 corporations, executives, and the education sector for her unique High Performance Mindfulness practice that drives sustainable improvements in performance, by providing the skills and tools that enable participants to bring their 'A-Game' to high-pressure moments.
Website: https://www.emmamurray.com.au/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/highperformancemindfulness
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/em.murray.mindcoach/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/high-performance-mindfulness/
Connect with Dwayne Kerrigan
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
Website
Disclaimer: The views, information, or opinions expressed by guests during The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Dwayne Kerrigan and his affiliates. Dwayne Kerrigan or The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast is not responsible for and does not verify the accuracy of any of the information contained in the podcast series. The primary purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. Listeners are advised to consult with a qualified professional or specialist before making any decisions based on the content of this podcast.

Performance mindset coach Emma Murray returns to The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast to break down why even highly capable people struggle under pressure - and how to fix it.
Emma explains that humans are not wired to perform at their best in business, sport, or life - we’re wired for survival. When pressure hits, our attention naturally drifts to fear, loss, and outcomes we can’t control, pulling us out of the present moment. Through powerful examples from golf, sales, leadership, parenting, and elite sport, Emma shows how performance collapses the moment attention leaves the task.
Together, Dwayne and Emma unpack the difference between skillset and mindset, why elite performers win through attention regulation, and how “chunking down” - narrowing focus to something small, controllable, and strength-based - restores clarity, confidence, and execution.
Episode Highlights:
00:00 – Emma opens by explaining why humans are wired for survival, not greatness.
01:00 – Dwayne introduces Emma and frames the conversation around skillset, mindset, and attention.
03:30 – Emma explains why attention patterns are universal across sport, business, and life.
06:00 – Golf example: how attention drifts under pressure and breaks execution.
08:30 – Skillset vs mindset explained using the “boxes within boxes” analogy.
11:00 – Scott McLaughlin story and consistency through mindset regulation.
13:30 – Expectations, execution, and why lowering outcomes is the wrong solution.
16:00 – Survival wiring: fear of loss vs fear of missing gain.
18:30 – Sales leadership example and why people avoid known next steps.
21:00 – Horse riding comeback story and gratitude removing danger thinking.
23:30 – Freeze response explained and attention leaving the arena.
26:00 – Why leaders can’t fix fear with cheerleading or pressure.
28:30 – Catching attention drift and recognizing A-game vs B-game signals.
31:30 – Small focus strategies for golf, sales, and presentations.
34:30 – Breath as the fastest way to regulate attention and mindset.
38:30 – Process focus vs outcome focus and competitive advantage.
41:30 – Post-execution review introduced: critique over criticism.
44:30 – Bonus segment setup: “Chunking Down” as a performance tool.
47:30 – Chunking down explained with leadership, sales, and riding examples.
Key Takeaways:
Humans are wired for survival, not peak performance
Pressure pulls attention away from the present moment
Skillset lives inside mindset — mindset determines delivery
Outcomes and comparison destabilize performance
Small, controllable focus creates safety and clarity
Breath is the fastest way to regulate attention
Elite performers anchor attention on process, not results
Performance improves when danger is removed from the mind

Quotes:
“We are not wired to be great in competition or to be great in sales or business, or even a great friend for that matter, or a great parent. We are just wired for survival.” - Emma Murray
Big stuff, big goals, big expectations, small focus.” - Emma Murray
“If you are stepping into that moment with your attention on the process, you've already got a massive competitive advantage.” - Emma Murray
“Control is an illusion” - Dwayne Kerrigan
Resources Mentioned
Traditional Mindfulness (adapted by Emma Murray)
Chunking Down Technique
Closed-Eye Processes (mentioned as bonus content)

Emma is sought-after by ASX 100 corporations, executives, and the education sector for her unique High Performance Mindfulness practice that drives sustainable improvements in performance, by providing the skills and tools that enable participants to bring their 'A-Game' to high-pressure moments.
Website: https://www.emmamurray.com.au/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/highperformancemindfulness
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/em.murray.mindcoach/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/high-performance-mindfulness/
Connect with Dwayne Kerrigan
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
Website
Disclaimer: The views, information, or opinions expressed by guests during The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Dwayne Kerrigan and his affiliates. Dwayne Kerrigan or The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast is not responsible for and does not verify the accuracy of any of the information contained in the podcast series. The primary purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. Listeners are advised to consult with a qualified professional or specialist before making any decisions based on the content of this podcast.

In this special bonus episode recorded ahead of their full mindset conversation, Dwayne Kerrigan and Emma Murray reflect on a deeply personal topic: relationships.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, they explore how intimate relationships often absorb the stress, pressure, and emotional buildup from the outside world. Dwayne shares candidly about his own growth — recognizing how habitual reactions, unmet needs, and old internal stories can surface at home if they’re not processed throughout the day. Emma adds insight into how unconscious patterns, primary questions, and survival wiring shape the way we show up with those we love most.
Together, they discuss raising standards inside the relationship, practicing conscious awareness, meeting your partner’s needs without expectation, and replacing self-judgment with grace. This short but powerful conversation reframes love not as grand gestures, but as attention, awareness, and intentional daily behavior.
Episode Highlights:
0:00 - Introduction: Valentine's Day as a renewal for relationships
0:27 - Viewing Valentine's Day as a time for awareness and meeting needs
1:23 - Why we release stress on loved ones instead of during the day
2:41 - Holding different standards for work vs. intimate relationships
3:43 - The importance of awareness in meeting your partner's needs
4:34 - Breaking habitual negative response patterns in relationships
5:11 - How relationship quality affects every area of life
5:38 - "Chains of habit are too light to be felt until too heavy to be broken"
6:06 - Treating your partner with conscious awareness
7:14 - Focusing on relationship growth: reading, podcasts, and learning
7:53 - Enjoying the process instead of fixating on an end state
8:30 - Getting addicted to lighting up your partner
9:10 - Managing anger and identifying emotional triggers
9:52 - Using Byron Katie's four questions to examine stories we tell ourselves
10:12 - Taking responsibility instead of projecting onto your partner
10:30 - We're all learning - giving yourself and your partner grace
11:54 - Appreciating yourself for being imperfect
Key Takeaways:
We often release built-up stress on the people we love most
Awareness creates choice inside intimate moments
Love grows when we actively meet one another’s needs
Self-reflection prevents projection
Grace and ownership dissolve conflict faster than blame
Relationships are built through process, not perfection
Conscious love is practiced — not automatic

Quotes:
“There’s nothing better in this world and nothing makes life feel greater than having an amazing relationship that is just full of love and abundance when it is going and operating at its peak level.” - Dwayne Kerrigan
“ I didn't hold myself to the same standard inside the intimate relationship as I did in my professional life.” - Dwayne Kerrigan
“If things are not good in your relationship, they’re not good anywhere you go.” - Dwayne Kerrigan
“I think our relationships are very based on just habitual responses.” - Emma Murray
“Our relationship is the core of our existence here.” - Emma Murray
“The excitement of treating your person that you love most with such conscious awareness.” - Emma Murray

Resources Mentioned
Loving What Is - Byron Katie
Primary Question Framework (personal development concept referenced)
10,000 Hours Principle (mastery concept referenced)

Emma is sought-after by ASX 100 corporations, executives, and the education sector for her unique High Performance Mindfulness practice that drives sustainable improvements in performance, by providing the skills and tools that enable participants to bring their 'A-Game' to high-pressure moments.
Website: https://www.emmamurray.com.au/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/highperformancemindfulness
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/em.murray.mindcoach/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/high-performance-mindfulness/
Connect with Dwayne Kerrigan
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
Website
Disclaimer: The views, information, or opinions expressed by guests during The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Dwayne Kerrigan and his affiliates. Dwayne Kerrigan or The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast is not responsible for and does not verify the accuracy of any of the information contained in the podcast series. The primary purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. Listeners are advised to consult with a qualified professional or specialist before making any decisions based on the content of this podcast.