The Dad Edge Podcast

In this episode, I sit down with Kelvin Davis — fashion trailblazer, author of Be a Good Man Not a Nice Guy, creator of Notoriously Dapper, one of the first Black big-and-tall models for Gap and Target, and dad of two daughters. This one covers a wide range of territory — style, masculinity, nice guy syndrome, divorce, co-parenting, and raising daughters as a single dad — and somehow manages to be one of the most fun and most real conversations we've had on this show.
We start with style — and not the surface-level kind. Kelvin breaks down why how you dress is actually a statement about how you see yourself, how the right fit and color unlocks a level of confidence that can't be faked, and why most guys are unknowingly dressing for a version of themselves they no longer are.
Then we get into the heart of the show: the difference between a good man and a nice guy. Kelvin draws the line clearly — nice guys are motivated by approval and the avoidance of conflict, good men are grounded in purpose, principles, and accountability. He gets deeply honest about his own nice guy patterns, including a porn addiction and seeking emotional connection outside his marriage, and how staying in a relationship he knew wasn't right ended up costing him and his daughters dearly.
We dig into his divorce — how the girls responded, the pressure to pick sides, the importance of therapy, and what happened when his daughters moved to Tennessee and their relationship actually deepened over FaceTime. And we close with a powerful conversation about what Kelvin believes a dad's real job is: not to be liked, but to get your kids ready for the world.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities
[1:01] Introducing Kelvin Davis — style, Notoriously Dapper, big and tall modeling, and Be a Good Man Not a Nice Guy
[4:58] Kelvin's backstory — knowing from age eight that fashion was his calling and going back to speak at his old elementary school
[9:23] Larry's story with style expert Tanner Gazi — and the fat kid still living inside him who wears dark colors to hide
[12:58] What style actually is — and why the right fit unlocks confidence that cannot be faked
[14:03] How to build a base wardrobe — know your true size, nail the fit, then add accessories to elevate everything
[16:52] What happens when you walk into a room dressed confidently — including the people who love it and the ones who resent it
[19:53] How Kelvin learned to stop caring what people think — and why we all care to some degree
[23:50] Introducing Be a Good Man Not a Nice Guy — how Kelvin defines the difference
[24:36] Nice guys are motivated by approval and conflict avoidance — good men are grounded in purpose and values
[27:25] Covert contracts, people pleasing, and why nice guys always eventually fall apart
[29:01] Kelvin's nice guy symptoms — avoiding accountability, gaslighting, saying yes to everyone at the cost of himself
[31:33] The one place Kelvin's nice guy syndrome never showed up — fatherhood
[33:34] Why dads who weren't loved well as kids tend to over-serve their kids — and why holding the line is still the right move
[35:08] What Kelvin's daughters would have picked up on if he'd stayed in a marriage where he wasn't showing up as his true self
[37:03] The guilt and shame of a pregnancy that forced a marriage — and admitting the foundation was never really there
[40:37] Seeking emotional connection outside the marriage — and the fear that keeps nice guys trapped
[41:38] The unexpected peace of living alone for the first time after the divorce
[43:37] How the girls responded when he moved out — the pressure to pick sides and what Kelvin told them
[45:32] Kids hear everything — the damage done when adults talk about each other in front of their children
[46:22] Therapy for the girls starting in 2022 — what the therapist revealed about the older daughter's emotional burden
[47:31] His job was to carry his own anger — not put it on his daughters
[49:28] His 15-year-old's personality emerging — meeting her where she is and becoming more of a collaborator
[50:43] Since the girls moved to Tennessee, their relationship has deepened more over FaceTime than it ever did in person
[52:08] Creating psychological safety — how connection is the foundation of all influence as a dad
[53:28] When mom was more friend than parent — and why the oldest pushes back on her but never on Kelvin
[55:46] My job is not to be your friend — it's to get you ready for the world
[57:21] Larry's 18-year-old in the 1,000 pound club — and the moment your kid surpasses you is the moment you know you did your job
 
Five Key Takeaways
Style is not vanity — it's communication. How you dress tells the world and yourself who you are. If you've been hiding behind dark colors and ill-fitting clothes, ask yourself what you're really trying to hide.
The difference between a nice guy and a good man is what drives them. Nice guys chase approval and avoid conflict. Good men are grounded in purpose, values, and accountability — and people feel that difference.
Your kids are watching everything — including how you treat their mother, who you are when your guard is down, and whether the man at home is the same man everyone else gets. They will model it.
Your job as a dad is not to be liked — it's to get your kids ready for the world. That means holding the line, teaching respect, and preparing them for authority figures, hard seasons, and life without you.
Psychological safety is what makes your kids come to you. Connection comes first. Without it, you have no influence — no matter how many rules you set or sacrifices you make.
 
Links & Resources
Dad Edge Alliance & Business Boardroom: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com
Be a Good Man Not a Nice Guy by Kelvin Davis: Available on Amazon
Notoriously Dapper website: https://notoriouslydapper.com
Follow Kelvin on Instagram: @kelvindavis
Follow Notoriously Dapper on TikTok: @notoriouslydapper
Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1463): https://thedadedge.com/1463
 
Closing
If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: your kids don't need you to be their friend — they need you to be the man they can model their entire life after.
Kelvin Davis built a brand around showing up as your true self — unapologetically, consistently, and confidently. But it took a failed marriage, a divorce, and years of self-work to get there. And out of all of it, he's built a deeper relationship with his daughters than he ever had when they lived under the same roof.
That's what happens when a man stops performing and starts leading.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with a dad who needs to hear it.
Go out and live legendary.

In this episode, Larry and Uncle Joe are back for another live Q&A with real men from the Dad Edge Alliance bringing their real questions. This one goes deep — and fast.
The first question comes from a man walking through divorce he didn't want, trying to reconcile his faith with a marriage that's falling apart. Joe has lived this exact story — fasting, praying, sleeping in a separate bedroom for 18 months, doing everything he could — and speaks into it with the kind of wisdom that only comes from having actually been there. Larry adds his own perspective, including the heartbreaking story of losing a son to trisomy 13, and what he learned about God's ability to redeem even the worst seasons of life.
The second question comes from Shepherd — a man who is newly divorced, in a new relationship seven months in with a wonderful woman of faith, but feeling the friction of competing priorities: his kids, her desire to be put first, a potential reverse vasectomy, and the nagging question of whether this is really the right person. Joe and Larry both weigh in with hard, loving, and deeply honest answers — including Joe's own cautionary tale about getting into a relationship too fast after a divorce, and the painful price his kids paid because of it.
This is one of those Q&A episodes where every man in the audience will see himself in at least one of these questions.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities
[1:02] Welcome to the Q&A — and a quick shoutout to the new Dad Edge shop
[2:15] Question 1 — Anonymous: I'm a Christian going through a divorce I didn't want. My wife is a strong believer too. I need guidance.
[2:34] Joe's answer: his own experience going through divorce as a believer, sleeping in a separate bedroom for 18 months, and what he learned
[4:10] Being a follower of Christ and being a mature follower of Christ are two completely different things
[5:37] Seeking the one with your two — how Joe and Ivy operate their marriage around loyalty to Christ first
[6:50] The A plus B equals C equation with God — and why that theology will wreck you
[7:37] What Joe would do differently: stop panicking, stop pushing, and focus on maturing as a man
[10:01] Larry's perspective: it's okay to be angry with God — Father Stephen Gadberry on The Sean Ryan Show
[13:11] God removes things we think are good for us — and sometimes this is a preparation for something better
[14:39] Larry's story: losing a son to trisomy 13 in 2014, the decision to keep the baby, and the stillbirth at 22 weeks
[17:33] Standing in that bathroom, looking up, and asking God why — and what came out of that season
[18:00] Joe's response: our father redeems everything — even the worst stuff
[19:39] Joe's own three marriages — and how God used all of it
[20:08] Living a life you don't deserve — Joe's reflection on grace, mercy, and what he gets to enjoy today
[21:28] Joe shares a personal health challenge he's currently walking through — and why his mercies being new every morning is not just a saying
[23:21] Question 2 — Shepherd: I'm seven months into a new relationship after divorce. She wants to be put first over my kids. I'm at a crossroads.
[28:13] Joe's answer: she doesn't have kids, so there's a disconnect — and until there's a covenant, your kids come first
[29:58] The conversation you need to have now — not after you say I do
[31:09] How Joe met Ivy — determined never to remarry, then God showed up anyway
[32:23] Larry's take: know your non-negotiables before you go further — and be honest about what they are
[35:08] This is what you signed up for — and if you love me, this is the way it's going to be
[36:17] Joe's red flags: she's pushing for the covenant before it's time, and the reverse vasectomy conversation deserves serious prayer
[37:18] Joe's cautionary tale: getting into a relationship too fast after divorce — and the price his kids paid
[40:11] His kids paid a high price for his lack of wisdom — proceed with caution, pray first
[41:04] There's wisdom in many counselors — and the value of having brothers who aren't afraid to call out your blind spots
 
Five Key Takeaways
Being a follower of Christ and being a mature follower are two different things. Maturity in faith means loyalty to the covenant even when feelings don't support it.
God doesn't owe you C just because you did A and B. The A plus B equals C equation with God will wreck you. His heart for you is good — even when life isn't.
It's okay to be angry at God. Tell him. He already knows. And he meets us in our deepest, most honest emotions — not in the polished version.
When you're newly divorced and entering a new relationship, proceed with caution. Get into your kids, get into your faith, and make sure your inside world is where it needs to be before you attach to someone new.
Know your non-negotiables before you go further in any relationship — and have the hard conversations now, not after you say I do.
 
Links & Resources
Dad Edge Alliance & Business Boardroom: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com
Dad Edge Shop: https://thedadedge.com/shop
Father Stephen Gadberry on The Sean Ryan Show — search on YouTube
Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1462): https://thedadedge.com/1462
 
Closing
If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: God redeems everything — even the stuff that feels like it's destroying you right now.
Joe went through divorce as a believer, three times, watching his kids pay a price for his lack of wisdom. Larry stood in a bathroom watching his son be born still, looking up and asking why. And both of them are sitting here today telling you it gets better — not because life got easier, but because God's mercies are new every morning and all things really does mean all things.
If you're in a dark season right now, don't go through it alone. Lean into the brothers around you and let them speak into your blind spots.
Go out and live legendary.

In this episode, I sit down with Demir Bentley — Wall Street analyst turned productivity coach, co-founder of Life Hack Method, author of Winning the Week, and dad of three daughters under six. This one goes deep on two things most dads desperately need: a better system for planning their week, and a real conversation about what it means to raise confident, loved daughters.
Demir opens up about his time on Wall Street — 80 to 100 hour weeks, a hustle culture identity so baked in he didn't know who he was without it — and the health crisis that forced him to change everything. His digestive system began shutting down, he required three surgeries, and his doctors told him to cut his hours below 40 or face serious consequences. That pressure produced the Winning the Week method — a simple, three-pillar planning framework that helped him get the same work done in a fraction of the time.
We break down exactly how to run a real planning session — a calendar interrogation, not a calendar review — and why your calendar is lying to you right now. We get into why planning on Friday instead of Sunday is a game changer, what open loops are doing to your brain on the weekend, and how sharing the mental load with your wife is one of the most important leadership moves a man can make at home.
And then Demir drops one of the most memorable parenting concepts this show has ever heard: the idea of being the Keeper of Vibes — not just the lowest heartbeat in the room, but the painter of the energy canvas your family lives inside every day.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities
[1:02] Introducing Demir Bentley — Wall Street to lifestyle design, productivity coach, dad of three daughters
[3:38] Freedom as a core value — and why Demir's shirt and hair are a statement, not an accident
[5:00] Being a girl dad — and Larry's experience running a daddy daughter retreat with men who had never lit up like that before
[8:33] Demir's slow start to fatherhood — and why a phone call from a friend before his first daughter was born may have saved him
[10:44] What Winning the Week is — and where it came from
[11:04] Wall Street, hustle culture, and the religion of outworking the competition
[13:30] The health crisis that changed everything — salaryman sudden death syndrome, three surgeries, and a doctor telling him to cut his hours in half
[14:36] Who am I if I'm not the guy who works 100 hours a week — the identity crisis behind the health crisis
[20:22] How the Winning the Week method was born out of raw necessity
[23:31] Pillar one — the calendar interrogation: your calendar is lying to you and here's how to catch it
[26:47] Pillar two — real prioritizing: if there's no tear in your eye when you're cutting things, you're not cutting enough
[27:27] Pillar three — the task list: stop hiding your commitments and start owning your time supply
[28:53] Marrying the tasks to the calendar — the test fit that tells you if you have 10 pounds of priorities in a 5 pound bag
[31:06] Start from the top down — your values first, then your calendar, then your priorities
[31:28] The number one complaint wives have about their husbands — and how planning fixes it
[33:06] Sharing the mental load and invisible labor — the new definition of leadership at home
[36:35] Leading by example: how planning together on Friday beats planning together Sunday night
[37:18] The team huddle — how Demir and his wife plan separately then align on a walk together
[39:24] Why good planning still produces anxiety — and why meeting after the sigh changes everything
[42:49] Why your brain won't let go of the weekend — open loops, unfinished sentences, and the science behind Sunday dread
[44:35] Why planning on Friday instead of Sunday gives you your whole weekend back
[46:39] Switching gears to daughters — what it really means to raise strong, confident girls
[47:10] The Keeper of Vibes — Demir's most important role as a dad and the canvas he's painting every single day
[49:47] Be the thermostat, not the thermometer — and what it means to hold the energy space for your whole family
 
Five Key Takeaways
Your calendar is lying to you. Every meeting, every drive, every task takes longer than you think. A real planning session is a calendar interrogation — sweat every entry until it's honest.
Real prioritizing hurts. If you're not cutting things that matter to you, you're not prioritizing — you're just rearranging. The hard tradeoffs are the whole point.
Open loops kill your weekends. When you leave Friday without closing the week, your brain keeps the loop running — on date night, on the couch, in the middle of the night. Plan on Friday and actually rest.
Sharing the mental load is modern leadership. Your wife shouldn't be the only one holding the calendar of family life. Taking full ownership of even one domain — sports, appointments, whatever — changes the entire dynamic at home.
Be the Keeper of Vibes. You are not just the lowest heartbeat in the room. You are the painter of the energy canvas your family lives inside. What are you painting every day?
 
Links & Resources
Roommates to Soulmates Cohort & Preview Call: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com
Dad Edge Business Boardroom: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
Winning the Week by Demir Bentley: https://winningtheweek.com
Life Hack Method Website: https://lifehackmethod.com
Life Hack Method Free Training: https://lifehackmethod.com
Follow Demir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifehackmethod_/
Follow Demir on Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/demirandcarey/
Follow Demir on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/demirbentley/
Life Hack Method on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LifehackBootcamp
Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1461): https://thedadedge.com/1461

 
Closing
If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: you cannot lead what you don't plan, and you cannot be present for the people you love if your brain is still stuck in last week.
Demir went from 100 hour weeks and a body that was shutting down to building a life centered on freedom, family, and intention. The method isn't complicated. The calendar interrogation, the real prioritization, the task fit — it's thirty minutes on a Friday that gives you your whole life back.
And then there's the canvas. What energy are you painting into your home every single day? Because your kids and your wife are living inside that painting whether you're intentional about it or not.
Go out and live legendary.

In this episode, I sit down with Jon Fogel — pastor, dad of four, PhD candidate in developmental psychology, and bestselling author of Punishment Free Parenting. Jon is one of those rare guys who can make you laugh so hard you forget you're learning some of the most important parenting insights you've ever heard.
We open with chaos — including the time his wife went into labor at Goodwill, insisted on finishing the bathroom tile and installing a toilet before going to the hospital, and the time Jon almost missed the birth of his fourth child because he stopped for Jimmy John's on the way back.
But then it gets real. Jon breaks down why punishment doesn't work — not as a philosophy, but as brain science. When you punish a child, you activate the threat response system, which is the exact part of the brain that shuts off learning. We dig into what to do instead, the landmark Bobo doll experiment proving kids follow the behavior of the men in their lives above everyone else, and how rupture and repair actually builds stronger relationships than if you'd never messed up at all.
Jon also walks us through Set My Feelings Free — his kids' book packed with emotional regulation games you can start using today to stop tantrums before they start.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission
[1:02] Introducing Jon Fogel — pastor, author, PhD candidate, and Whole Parent
[6:07] Why the parenting space desperately needs more men in it
[14:02] Jon's family — and the birth stories that will make you lose it
[26:12] Why Jon goes calm in a crisis but loses it over spilled milk
[45:34] The core message of Punishment Free Parenting — brain science, not philosophy
[49:12] Kids don't have the same negativity bias as adults — they want to see you in the best light
[50:18] Your kids aren't trying to give you a hard time — they're having a hard time
[51:07] Rupture and repair — why messing up and fixing it builds the strongest bonds
[55:39] The dad buried in his phone is a bigger problem than the dad who sometimes loses his temper
[57:42] The Still Face Experiment — and what a parent staring at a phone really communicates
[1:00:37] The Bobo doll experiment — kids follow the men in their lives above everyone else
[1:03:37] You don't have to fix your kids. Fix yourself. Your kids are fine.
[1:09:08] Why punishment shuts off the brain's learning system — and what to do instead
[1:17:16] Get Curious, Not Furious — the question every parent needs to ask
[1:20:12] The Doctor House analogy — stop managing symptoms, find the underlying problem
[1:24:05] Set My Feelings Free — emotional regulation games disguised as fun
[1:29:34] Why you should never check under the bed for the monster
 
Five Key Takeaways
Punishment activates the threat response system — the part of the brain that shuts off learning. Relationship and curiosity do the actual teaching.
Your kids are almost never trying to give you a hard time. They're having a hard time and you're witnessing it. Get curious, not furious.
The Bobo doll experiment proved it — kids follow the behavior of the men in their lives above everyone else. Fix yourself. Your kids are fine.
Every time you mess up and genuinely repair it, the relationship gets stronger than it was before. Rupture and repair builds the deepest bonds.
Kids solve problems through play. When screens replace play, they lose their primary tool for processing the hard stuff — and we're modeling that every time we reach for our phones.
 
Links & Resources
Roommates to Soulmates Cohort & Preview Call: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
Join the Dad Edge Mastermind: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com
Punishment Free Parenting by Jon Fogel: Available wherever books are sold
Set My Feelings Free by Jon Fogel: Available wherever books are sold
Whole Parent Academy: https://wholeparentacademy.com
Follow Jon on Instagram: @wholeparent
Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1460): https://thedadedge.com/1460
 
Closing
You cannot punish your kids into becoming who you want them to be — and you can't punish yourself into becoming the parent you want to be either.
Get curious before you get furious. Repair when you rupture. Model what you want to see. And give your kids the tools to regulate themselves when the world gets hard — because you won't always be there, but the way you showed them how to handle it will be.
Go out and live legendary.

In this solo episode, Larry gets straight to the point: the reason most men feel stuck isn't a lack of motivation — it's a lack of direction. Not the five-year-plan kind of direction, but the daily kind. What are you building in your marriage right now? What are you doing this week to move the needle? Because if you don't choose a direction, life will choose one for you — and it's usually the one that leaves you reactive, exhausted, and quietly frustrated.
Larry shares what's coming up in the Dad Edge community in April, breaks down what the Alliance is really about in plain English, and makes the case for why this is the moment to stop consuming content and start executing. He also announces the first ever First Form Dad of the Month — a man in the Alliance who has been quietly doing the work, keeping his promises to himself, and leading from the front without making a big deal about it.
This one is short, direct, and worth every minute.
 
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities
[1:02] The real reason most men feel stuck — it's not motivation, it's direction
[1:45] What happens when you don't choose a direction and life chooses one for you
[2:01] What's coming up in the Dad Edge community — events, programs, and announcements
[3:02] The Men's Forge event — what it is, who it's for, and why it's not a hype fest
[4:44] Why being in a room with the right men changes everything
[5:44] The April theme inside the Alliance — purpose, direction, and leadership for men
[6:06] The real reason men fail — not laziness, but an unclear target
[7:04] What the Alliance actually is in plain English — brotherhood, plans, execution, and no egos
[7:58] What April inside the Alliance looks like — getting clear on what you actually want and building a weekly rhythm that makes winning normal
[9:22] What men who show up and do the work actually experience — no longer feeling behind, making faster decisions, becoming more consistent at home
[10:07] The Roommates to Soulmates preview call — April 1st at 7pm Central — who it's for and what to expect
[11:43] Announcing the first ever First Form Dad of the Month — Jason Rowe — and why he earned it
[13:05] First Form product spotlight — Magic Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Red Velvet Cake flavors
[15:09] Closing message — the world is loud, drift is real, and today is the day to do one thing your future self will thank you for
 
Five Key Takeaways
You're not stuck because you're lazy. You're stuck because your target is blurry. When direction gets fuzzy, discipline gets fuzzy right along with it.
If you don't choose a direction on purpose, you'll drift toward whatever is loudest and most urgent — and you'll look up one day and realize you've been living the same week for five years.
The Alliance is not a vent session. It's men telling the truth, getting tactical, and leaving every call with something they can actually execute.
Winning becomes normal when you're focused. Consistency over time beats motivation every single time.
Do one thing today that your future self will thank you for. That's it. That's the whole assignment.
 
Links & Resources
Roommates to Soulmates Cohort & Preview Call: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com
Dad Edge Alliance & Business Boardroom: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
First Form Supplements: https://1stphorm.com/dadedge
Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1459): https://thedadedge.com/1459
 
Closing
If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: direction is a decision, and today is the day to make it.
The world is loud. The fires are always burning. And it is incredibly easy to spend your whole life responding instead of building. But the men who are winning at home — in their marriages, with their kids, in their health — are not the ones who figured out some secret. They're the ones who got clear, got consistent, and chose the right room.
Don't let April be another month on autopilot.
Go out and live legendary.