Thriving Kids

Becoming a father doesn’t just change your life, research suggests it can actually change your brain. In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with psychologist and researcher Dr. Darby Saxbe, author of Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives, to explore the emerging science of what happens to men’s brains, hormones, relationships, and sense of identity when they become fathers.
Dr. Saxbe explains why some of the brain changes associated with fatherhood may help dads become more attuned to their children, how testosterone levels can shift as men move into caregiving roles, and why becoming a parent can bring both psychological vulnerability and long-term neurological benefits. They also discuss paternal mental health, loneliness, and social connection among men, the pressures created by online messages about masculinity, and how being an engaged father can offer men a powerful source of connection and purpose.

In this episode, they cover:
• How men’s brains can change during the transition to fatherhood
• Why some brain changes may help fathers become more responsive to their babies
• What researchers are learning about paternal postpartum depression and anxiety
• Why the popular idea that “higher testosterone is always better” misses what the research actually shows
• How relationships and social connection contribute to men’s long-term health
• How fatherhood can encourage healthier behaviors in men

Key takeaways
• Fathers’ brains change, too. Research suggests that becoming a father is associated with changes in brain structure and function, including areas involved in understanding and responding to other people’s thoughts and emotions.
• Those changes can bring both opportunity and vulnerability. In Dr. Saxbe’s research, some of the brain changes associated with stronger bonding and greater caregiving involvement were also associated with more symptoms of anxiety, depression, psychological distress, and sleep problems.
• Fathers’ mental health deserves attention. Becoming a parent is a major physical, emotional, and social transition for all parents, yet fathers are often overlooked in conversations about postpartum well-being.
• Testosterone isn’t simply a “more is better” hormone. Testosterone can naturally change as men transition into caregiving roles, and Dr. Saxbe argues that flexibility — rather than maximizing testosterone — is a more useful way to understand these changes.
• Fatherhood can encourage healthier habits. Research suggests fathers may be more likely to engage in protective health behaviors and less likely to engage in some risky behaviors once they become responsible for a child.
• Great parents are made, not born. One of Dr. Saxbe’s central messages is that good parenting isn’t innate. Investment, motivation, practice, and experience help parents develop the skills they need.

Further reading
10 Tips to Help Dads and Daughters Stay Close – Child Mind Institute
https://childmind.org/article/parenting-through-depression/Parenting Through Depression – Child Mind Institute
Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives by Dr. Darby Saxbe

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers listener questions inspired by last week’s conversation with Caroline Maguire about friendship, neurodivergence, masking, and building authentic relationships.

Dr. Dave discusses how parents can help kids make friends without making them feel like they have to change who they are, how to understand the difference between practicing social skills and masking, and how to support kids who over-apologize, over-explain, or spiral after awkward social moments. He also offer advice on navigating social anxiety, loneliness, and friendship expectations — and talks about how adults can model healthier friendship habits for kids.

This episode offers practical, compassionate guidance for helping children build meaningful connections, tolerate the ups and downs of friendship, and find relationships where they feel accepted for who they really are.  

In this episode, Dr. Dave covers:
How to help kids make friends without pressuring them to change who they are
Why one awkward moment does not mean a friendship is ruined
What to do when kids say they “don’t need friends”
How to help kids who move too quickly from meeting someone to “best friend”
How adults can model boundaries, repair, and healthier friendship habits
 
Further Reading
How to Help Kids Who Are Lonely
Helping Young Children Who Are Socially Anxious
How to Help Kids Who Are Too Hard on Themselves
Caroline Maguire
Why Will No One Will Play With Me

From gentle parenting to strict rules about screen time, today’s parents are constantly bombarded with advice about the “right” way to raise their kids. But how much of that advice is actually supported by research?

In this special Summer Hot Takes episode, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with developmental psychologist, bestselling author, and Raising Good Humans podcast host Dr. Aliza Pressman to explore some of parenting’s most talked-about topics. Together, they discuss why it’s important for any approach to be rooted in science, how authoritative parenting (not to be confused with the harder-to-define gentle parenting) balances warmth with boundaries, and how families can develop healthier relationships with technology.

They also talk about the importance of letting kids experience disappointment, navigate failure, and learn from difficult emotions without treating every feeling like an emergency. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Dave and Dr. Pressman remind parents that thoughtful, flexible parenting is the goal, not perfection.

In this episode, they cover:
What people often mean when they talk about “gentle parenting” and common misunderstandings about the term
What authoritative parenting is and why it remains one of the most evidence-supported parenting approaches
Practical ways to create healthier screen habits for children and teens
Why boredom, waiting, and feeling lonely sometimes can help kids build resilience and independence
How to help kids tolerate disappointment, failure, and rejection

Key takeaways
Healthy screen habits focus on balance, connection, and intentional use.
Kids benefit from experiencing age-appropriate disappointment and failure.
Parents don’t need to solve every emotion immediately to support emotional health.
Parenting trends come and go, but warmth combined with clear boundaries remains the most effective approach.
 
 
Further reading from the Child Mind Institute
·      Helping Kids With Flexible Thinking
·      Three Common Parenting Traps
·      How to Set Limits on Screen Time

More from Dr. Aliza Pressman
·      Raising Good Humans With Dr. Aliza (podcast)
·      The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans

Back-to-school season can bring a lot of excitement, but it can also bring anxiety — stressful mornings, friendship worries, homework battles, and questions about how to help kids adjust after summer break.

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson tackles some of the biggest concerns families face as a new school year begins. From how to tell the difference between normal first-day jitters and more serious anxiety to how to reset kids’ sleep routines after summer, Dr. Dave offers compassionate guidance and practical strategies you can put into practice right away.

In this episode, Dr. Dave covers: 
How to recognize the difference between typical back-to-school nerves and anxiety that may require extra support
Practical ways to reset sleep schedules, screen time, and morning routines after the summer break
How to help children build friendships and navigate worries about fitting in
Why stomachaches and headaches can sometimes be signs of anxiety — and when to seek a medical evaluation
Strategies for supporting students with ADHD, learning disorders, and executive functioning challenges
How to partner effectively with teachers at the beginning of the school year
 
Key Takeaways
Small, gradual routine changes make the back-to-school transition easier for children.
Anxiety about going to school is common, but persistent school avoidance can benefit from early support.
Strong parent-teacher partnerships help children succeed academically and emotionally.
Sleep, consistent routines, and healthy technology habits create a stronger foundation for learning.
Family schedules should prioritize wellness, not just productivity.

 
Further Reading
Back-to-School Hub
The Child Mind Institute’s comprehensive collection of expert advice for preparing children and families for the new school year.
Help for School Refusal
Managing Back-to-School Anxiety

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by Caroline Maguire, an ADHD and executive function coach and author of Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults. They discuss friendship, social anxiety, and how neurodivergent kids and teens can build more authentic relationships without feeling pressured to hide or “mask” who they are.

In this episode, they cover:
• What masking is and how it can affect kids’ mental health
• Why getting support for social skills doesn’t mean people need to abandon their authentic selves
• How black-and-white thinking can make social situations feel more painful
• How parents, clinicians, and coaches can help kids build confidence in relationships

Key takeaways
• Masking — hiding how you really feel — can help people get through social situations, but over time it may lead to anxiety, depression, people-pleasing, and disconnection from the self.
• Neuro-affirming social support should help kids and adults connect with others while still honoring their own needs, values, and personalities.
• Social mistakes are part of being human, and over-apologizing or repeatedly revisiting them can make anxiety worse.
• Black-and-white thinking can turn a mostly positive interaction into something that feels like a failure.
• Building authentic friendships often starts with understanding your own patterns, communicating your needs, and finding people who appreciate you as you are.

Further reading
Kids Who Need a Little Help to Make Friends
Helping Girls With ADHD Make Friends
What Is Neurodiversity?