To Be A Boy

To Be A Boy
To Be A Boy
Latest episode

46 episodes

  • To Be A Boy

    Skincare, Stand‑Up & Surviving Grief with Darren Harriot

    10/2/2026 | 59 mins.
    Comedian Darren Harriot joins us for a raw, moving and surprisingly funny conversation about grief, masculinity and growing up after losing his dad at 11. From childhood depression to adult shame, from stand‑up as survival to the pressure men feel to “hold it all together,” Darren opens up with honesty, depth and plenty of humour.
    A powerful, hopeful episode for anyone raising boys, loving men, or figuring out their own story.
  • To Be A Boy

    Why So Many Men Are Struggling - And What Helps (with Gary Barker)

    03/2/2026 | 1h
    We sit down with the absolutely delightful Gary Barker, CEO of Equimundo for an honest and hopeful conversation about why so many boys and men feel lonely, overwhelmed and disconnected.

    No small ask: we're asking him what the hell we can do about it. From friendships to (ye olde favourite,) screens to the pressure to “provide,” Gary talks Joeli and Elliott through the big picture, and has a signature warmth that'll suck you in and some much needed clarity. We're jealous that you haven't heard this yet - enjoy!

    https://equimundo.org
    https://www.equimundo.org/resources/state-of-uk-men-2025/
  • To Be A Boy

    The intelligent and compassionate education of Boys with Richard Pomfrett

    27/1/2026 | 1h 1 mins.
    In this episode, we sit down with Richard Pomfrett, a martial‑arts‑instructor‑turned‑boy‑whisperer, to unpack why boys sometimes go from chatty little legends to mysterious, grunty teenagers who only communicate via Fortnite and side‑eye. Richard’s spent 25 years helping boys navigate the pressures of modern masculinity, from “must‑get‑six‑pack‑before-puberty” anxiety to the weird world of online influencers.
    He also shares his brilliantly simple recipe for getting boys to open up: “be open, be positive, be curious”. It's emotional first aid, minus the tiny plasters.
    Whether you're a parent, teacher or someone just trying to understand why your kid suddenly needs a six‑figure salary by Year 6, this one is packed solid with practical tips.
    ⁠https://www.boyz-2-men.org.uk/⁠
    ⁠https://TheStaySafeInitiative.org.uk⁠
    This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcaremarketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies.
    From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.
    Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
  • To Be A Boy

    Sharing the Care: A Sort Of Love Story

    22/1/2026 | 36 mins.
    What happens when you dig into unpaid labour and accidentally expose the entire wiring of modern family life?

    In this episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott chat with the brilliant Melissa Hogenboom, author of Breadwinners, about why sharing the care still feels revolutionary, why breadwinning still clings to outdated gender scripts, and why so many men discover far too late that the nappy bag does not self‑restock.
     
    Together they unpack the invisible work running households, relationships and mental health: the unseen planning others absorb, the pressure men carry as designated “providers,” and the hopeful rise of caring masculinities. A funny, warm, quietly radical episode for anyone trying to build a more equal home, one chore, one conversation at a time.
     
    This episode is supported by Philips Avent, a brand trusted by families for over 40 years. ⁠With its Share the Care mission⁠, the brand is helping mums reclaim time for themselves and championing a shift in how we think about parenting.
  • To Be A Boy

    Share the Care: How Supporting Mums Helps Families Thrive with Marci El-Deiry and Philips

    20/1/2026 | 38 mins.
    Motherhood is magical… but it can also be utterly exhausting. In this episode of To Be a Boy, Marci El-Deiry, Leader of Philips Mother and Child Care and working parent sits down with Joeli and Elliott to unpack why the world urgently needs to rethink how we talk about mums, selfcare, and the mythical idea of “doing it all.”
    From the shocking reality that most mums get less than an hour to themselves each day to the cultural scripts that pressure mothers to martyr themselves, Marci brings honesty, humour, and a global business perspective to a conversation parents need to hear. She reveals how shared caregiving, supportive “villages,” and small everyday shifts can help families not just survive, but thrive – for the sake of our boys and children.
    If you care about a mother, are a mother, or simply want to understand the invisible load behind early parenthood, this episode will change how you see the first year — and the role we all play in it.
    This episode is supported by Philips Avent, a brand trusted by families for over 40 years. With its Share the Care mission, the brand is helping mums reclaim time for themselves and championing a shift in how we think about parenting.

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About To Be A Boy

Ever wondered how to navigate raising boys in this bonkers world? Enter To Be A Boy', where hosts Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae tackle the murky waters of masculinity and boyhood. From societal stereotypes to the influence of porn, they provide a candid take on raising well-rounded boys. Expect personal anecdotes, belly laughs, and deep dives as they dismantle harmful clichés and champion honest conversations. They explore male friendships, educational gaps, mental health struggles, and tough topics like male violence. Join the conversation for a supportive community with fun and heart.
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