You Make Sense

• Processing Endings and Making Space for New Beginnings

  In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the profound shifts that occur as we heal—both within ourselves and in our relationships. She delves into the challenges of evolving while being in partnerships, the difficulty of letting go when growth outpaces connection, and the natural distance that can emerge between those on different healing journeys.Sarah also answers listener questions about navigating major life transitions. From unfulfilling marriages and moving forward when a partner is unwilling to grow, to forgiveness and releasing resentment following a betrayal, these questions spark a powerful conversation about trauma, self-protection, and reclaiming life after pain.Episode Highlights:00:00 Introduction 00:15 Processing Endings03:26 Internal Safety and Connectivity06:42 Unwritten Contracts and Change in Our Relationships09:59 Healing Decreases Our Toleration for Suffering12:15 Giving Ourselves the Things We Never Got13:21 Healing Invites Space for Change18:58 Meeting New Parts of Ourselves28:14 Leaving A Stagnant Relationship32:13 Navigating Betrayal and Resentment36:41 Forgiveness and Resolving Past TraumaJoin the FREE live training:There’s still time to RSVP for Nervous System Starter Kit! Take this work to the next level in Sarah’s FREE 75-minute live training to help you get into the driver’s seat of your experience and step toward your desireshttps://bit.ly/sp-nsskConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Resentment – Resentment often signals unmet needs or unprocessed emotions. Nervous system regulation helps in addressing these feelings by discharging the underlying dysregulation.Forgiveness – True forgiveness can only happen when a person has processed the appropriate response and emotions related to their trauma, by accessing what’s called healthy aggression.Relational Shifts in Healing – As healing progresses, people may feel disconnected from past relationships, social circles, or roles. This is a natural part of transformation, signaling new growth and self-awareness.Somatic Experiencing – Created by Dr. Peter Levine, this therapeutic modality uses body awareness, movement, and nervous system regulation to release and resolve stored trauma. By building capacity to be in our embodied experience, we can teach our nervous system how to pendulate, resulting in the discharge of stored trauma and overall regulation of the nervous system.

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  44:07
• A Trauma-Informed Understanding of Forgiveness and Letting Go

  There can be a lot of talk around forgiveness in the self-help space, but what does it actually mean to forgive? Forgiveness is not just a mindset shift or something we can “think” our way into—it is a somatic process that requires addressing the nervous system and accessing our healthy aggression. Using the latest neuroscience research, Sarah explains how unresolved trauma gets stored in our bodies until we are able to “complete the incomplete experience” or access the appropriate response to what occurred. If you’ve struggled to let go and move forward in life, this episode will give you a step-by-step guide to somatically resolve these wounds, so that you can find freedom from the past and release feelings of shame and resentment.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:46 Time Does Not Heal All  04:36 We Must First Process What Occurred08:01 What is Healthy Aggression?11:20 What is Unhealthy Aggression?12:36 Building Your Capacity for Healthy Aggression15:56 Practical Applications for Somatic Forgiveness 21:31 Accessing Your Unmet Needs24:09 Struggling to Move On After a Betrayal27:21 Healing Shame and Anger from Childhood Trauma32:48 How to Overcome Parental Guilt42:07 Spiritual Bypassing Around Forgiveness RSVP to Sarah’s FREE live training:Ready for tangible somatic tools? Take this work to the next level when you join the Nervous System Starter Kit — a FREE 75-minute live training to help you get into the driver’s seat of your experience and step toward your desires.https://bit.ly/sp-nssk Connect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Polyvagal Theory - This theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how the autonomic nervous system regulates our responses to stress, danger, and safety. It highlights the role of the vagus nerve in shifting between survival states (fight, flight, freeze, and shut down) and social engagement, which is crucial for emotional healing.Healthy Aggression - A term coined by Peter Levine, this is our lifeforce energy, which is needed to set boundaries, protect oneself, and assert personal needs. It’s also the energy that allows us to experience full aliveness, connection, wonder, and awe. When suppressed, it can lead to unresolved anger, resentment, and even physical symptoms, but when expressed appropriately, it helps complete past emotional responses.Trauma - Trauma is the overwhelm of activation (energy) experienced in our bodies, in the face of helplessness. If we do not have the conditions necessary for trauma to process through our bodies, it becomes stuck and stored, leaving lasting emotional, physical or psychological imprints. It disrupts the nervous system causing chronic dysregulation, disconnection and/or hypervigilance.Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on addressing trauma and stress stored in the body, rather than just the mind. It involves practices that help release trapped activation/energy, regulate the nervous system and complete the incomplete response to trauma of the past, and reconnect with the physical self. Techniques like movement, touch, and breathwork are commonly used to support this healing process.Titration of Trauma - This refers to the body's natural process of releasing stored energy from past trauma or stress. It can happen through movement, sound, breathwork, or other somatic practices that allow the body to complete an unfinished emotional cycle and pendulate through stress responses.

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  49:29
• How to Actualize the Life You're Wanting

  Do you ever feel like there’s an invisible wall holding you back from the life you desire? In this episode, Sarah explores why achieving our goals can feel so difficult—even when we’re putting in the effort. The key to unlocking our full potential lies in understanding and befriending our autonomic nervous system, which shapes our entire experience and the ease in which we’re able to take steps forward. By viewing the nervous system as a vehicle, Sarah shares practical strategies for how to guide your nervous system down roads that lead to your deepest desires. Through the power of nervous system regulation, parts work, and safe connection, it’s possible to get unstuck and tangibly move toward a more full, expansive life.Episode Highlight:00:00 Intro01:35 The Vehicle Inside You (Your Nervous System)07:31 The Roads of Your Deepest Desires19:02 What Determines the Size of Your Life23:52 Building Capacity in Your Nervous System26:48: 4 Things That Don’t Actually Work27:46 #1 - “Muscling Through” 30:08 #2 - Setting Unattainable Goals32:43 #3 - Taking Steps in Isolation34:52 #4 - Comparing Our Self to Others36:28 Building a Bridge to Where You Want to Go40:48 Cultivating Safe Community and Connection42:07 Start Honoring Your ‘NO’44:58 “What About Taking the Big, Scary Step?”49:44 “How to Take Tolerable Steps in Dating?”53:27 “Why Is It So Hard to Take Steps Forward?”     Join the Expansion Experience:Ready to start expanding into a bigger life? Join Sarah’s 3-day live experience for tangible somatic tools to break through stagnancy and start expanding. First call starts on March 17th with replays available for a limited time.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-eeConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast Important Keywords:Autonomic Nervous System - The body's command center for automatic functions like breathing, heart rate, and digestion. It also plays a vital role in how we respond to stress and perceived threats, as well as our ability to feel safe, connected, and regulated.Roads of Safety - The pathways our nervous system recognizes as safe and predictable, often shaped by past experiences. While they provide comfort and stability, they may not always align with our true desires or highest potential.Roads of Familiarity - The patterns and dynamics we've learned to navigate—whether healthy or not. Our nervous system tends to gravitate toward familiar routes because they offer a sense of control, even if they don’t always serve our well-being.Safe Connection - The deep sense of being seen, heard, and understood by others, fostering a feeling of belonging and security. Safe connection is essential for regulating the nervous system and expanding our capacity for growth, healing, and change.

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  57:18
• Relationships: The Intersection Between Polyvagal Theory, Attachment Theory, and Parts Work

  In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the science behind relationships using Polyvagal Theory, Attachment Theory, and Parts Work. She explains how these frameworks complement each other and shape our ability to connect, feel safe inside our relational containers, and navigate emotional intimacy.Sarah highlights the importance of understanding how our nervous system and parts inform the people we choose in our lives, emphasizing that much of what we experience in adult connections is rooted in early life experiences. By combining these three approaches, it’s possible to heal the past in the present, navigate challenges with more ease, and attract the kinds of partners we truly desire.Episode Highlight:00:00 Introduction00:15 Understanding Our Relationships02:00 The Nervous System & Attachment Theory09:02 How Attachments Form16:04 How We Connect In Our Adult Lives21:24 How to Regulate Based On Your Attachment Style22:12 The Nervous System & Parts Work32:58 How “Self-Like Parts” Show Up39:07 Why Moving On Can Be So Challenging 49:29 Avoidant Attachment & Healing Shame53:03 Panic In RelationshipsTake Sarah’s FREE Quiz:Feeling stuck in any area of your life? Take Sarah’s quiz to learn more about the self-protective system inside you that’s often responsible for your stuckness—and how to harness its power to step toward the life you desire.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quizConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook -https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast Important Keywords:Polyvagal Theory – A framework explaining how the autonomic nervous system governs safety, connection, and self-protective responses in our relationships and lives.Attachment Theory – A psychological model describing how early childhood experiences shape relational patterns, emotional bonds, and the way we connect with others.Parts Work – A therapeutic approach (e.g., Internal Family Systems) that explores different parts or aspects of the self and their roles in emotional healing.Nervous System Regulation – Techniques and practices that help manage stress responses, promoting emotional balance and internal safety.Avoidant Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where connection can often feel overwhelming and individuals subconsciously withdraw from intimacy due to past emotional wounds.Anxious Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where we feel less safe on our own and often sacrifice our own needs in order to maintain connection with another.Disorganized Attachment – A self-protective relational pattern where we tend to feel comfortable in chaos and want others close, but when they come close, we push them away.Shame & Internalization – The process of internalizing negative beliefs about oneself, often rooted in childhood experiences of criticism or neglect.

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  56:30
• Blended States: The Power of Adding More Play and Stillness to Your Life

  What if there was a way to find more lightness and joy in your healing journey along the way? In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the profound impact of two transformative states within the autonomic nervous system: play and stillness. These states aren’t just about fun and quiet—they’re the keys to unlocking creativity, emotional regulation, and deeper connections.Sarah shares practical tips to help you embrace these vital states, from finding freedom through dance and movement to building rituals that invite inner peace. Whether you’re using play to resolve conflict in your relationships or creating a nighttime stillness routine for better sleep, this episode offers a roadmap to navigate life with greater ease and aliveness.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:17 Play and Stillness02:03 3 States of Dysregulation03:00 Getting to Know Your Blended State of Play11:06 Why Do We Struggle to Experience Play?15:09 Tools to Begin Stepping Toward Play19:20 Getting to Know Your Blended State of Stillness26:40 Why Do We Struggle to Experience Stillness?30:02 Tools to Begin Stepping Toward Stillness38:18 “How Do I Feel More Playful and Free While Dancing?”50:41 “Why Doesn’t Meditation Work For Me?”59:42 “How Can Play Help Improve My Relationship?” Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook: Want free trauma-informed tools? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel,” for actionable prompts and exercises to help you start feeling better on a daily basis.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbookConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) - The autonomic nervous system is a part of the nervous system that operates unconsciously to regulate vital bodily functions such as heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate. It has two primary branches: the sympathetic (activates fight-or-flight responses) and parasympathetic (promotes our rest-and-digest state along with our dorsal vagal complex), which are integral in supporting us to experience both regulation and dysregulation. Play - Play is a blended state within the autonomic nervous system, made primarily of regulation (ventral vagal complex) with a touch of mobilizing sympathetic energy (sympathetic nervous system). It fosters creativity, learning, and bonding by bringing joy and aliveness into life experiences.Stillness - Stillness is a state predominantly rooted in regulation (ventral vagal complex) with a subtle influence of the dorsal vagal complex. It encourages deep presence, better sleep, intimacy and emotional connection, and rejuvenation, allowing individuals to fully embrace quiet, restorative moments.Ventral Vagal Complex - The ventral vagal complex is part of the parasympathetic nervous system associated with safety and regulation. It governs states of connection, calm, and engagement with others, enabling social bonding and overall well-being.Sympathetic Nervous System - The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for activating the fight-or-flight response, preparing the body to react to real or perceived threats. It increases energy and alertness, mobilizing the body for action when needed.Dorsal Vagal Complex - The dorsal vagal complex is a branch of the parasympathetic nervous system linked to immobilization and shutdown responses. It becomes active in extreme stress or trauma and helps us to leave our bodies, resulting in feelings of disconnection or dissociation.

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  1:08:48

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