Adulting with Autism

A smile. A wave. A sign. A tap on an AAC device. A full sentence.
All of it is communication.
In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Luba Patlakh, a speech-language pathologist and the founder of Kidology, a pediatric early intervention and private therapy clinic. Luba is also the author of the children's book Bobo Wears a Bowtie, a story about courage and confidence inspired by her late mother.
We discuss the difference between a communication difference and a delay, what sensory overload can look like when someone stops responding, and why every person deserves functional communication, whether that means speech, sign, gestures, or AAC.
We also cover when to trust your gut about an evaluation, why skills need to carry over from the therapy room into home and community life, how parents can stop answering for their kids, and what families can start putting in place as their child moves toward adulthood.
This conversation is for parents, caregivers, clinicians, and autistic adults thinking about what communication support should actually look like.
In This Episode, We Cover
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How Luba went from broadcast journalism to speech-language pathology.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Starting a private practice, and serving a Russian-speaking community.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What communication success looks like beyond clear speech and vocabulary.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Nonverbal communication, sign language, and AAC.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Telling apart a cultural or dialect difference from a delay.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why screening and evaluation come before setting goals.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The story behind Bobo Wears a Bowtie and her mother's influence.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Encouraging someone without pushing too far.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Meeting a person where they are before building confidence.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How sensory overload can affect communication, including shutdown.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Luba's view of ABA and the debate around it.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> When a family's concerns justify an evaluation.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Airway, breathing, and myofunctional therapy.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why speech therapy is meant to end once skills are met.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Parent carryover and tracking practice at home.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Making sure nonverbal teens and adults have reliable ways to communicate.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Planning ahead for the transition to adulthood: coordinators, state programs, and support teams.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Reducing pressure around therapy goals.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What to do when a child talks at home but not in sessions, or the reverse.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Scaling goals back so a teen can actually succeed.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Questions to ask before choosing a provider.

About the Guest
Luba Patlakh is a speech-language pathologist and the founder of Kidology, a pediatric early intervention and private therapy clinic serving clients from birth to age 21. She came to the United States as an immigrant, provides services in Russian, and previously worked in broadcasting, marketing, and publishing.
She is the author of Bobo Wears a Bowtie, a children's book about confidence, courage, and self-belief.
Find Luba:
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Instagram: @lubapatlakh

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Website: lubapatlakh.com (links to Kidology, Bobo, and her other projects)

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Bobo: bobowearsabowtie.com

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Book: available on Amazon, Walmart, and Barnes & Noble

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> LinkedIn: Luba Patlakh

Key Takeaways
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Communication includes speech, gestures, sign, writing, drawing, and AAC.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A language difference is not the same as a delay.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Not answering can be a sign of overload, not defiance.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Everyone deserves a dependable way to express needs, discomfort, and choices.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> If something seems off, asking for an evaluation is reasonable.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Skills are useful when they carry over into daily life, not only the therapy room.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Encouragement works best when it is specific, light, and in the moment.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Goals should be set so the person can succeed. Scaling back is not failing.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Planning for adulthood includes building a support team beyond the parents.

What gets missed when mental healthcare focuses on one symptom—or one diagnosis—without asking about the rest of someone's life?
In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, a therapist based in Boca Raton, Florida, about her approach to integrative mental healthcare. Shari describes combining psychotherapy with other supports and collaborating with medical professionals to consider a person's history, strengths, relationships, physical health, sensory experiences, and daily routines.
We explore her Whole Human Ecosystem Framework, the importance of helping people feel comfortable enough to ask questions, and why treatment plans need to account for readiness and capacity—not simply add more things to an already overwhelming life.
The conversation also includes Shari's use of ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, cannabis-related care, and herbal formulations within her practice. We discuss assessment, preparation, collaboration, and why listeners should be cautious about promises that one intervention will solve everything.
This episode presents a practitioner's perspective, not a treatment recommendation. Evidence and risks differ across the approaches discussed, and none should be understood as a cure for autism.
In This Episode, We Cover
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Shari's background as a therapist and her work in integrative mental health.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What she means by combining psychotherapy with complementary approaches.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Creating a welcoming first appointment and building a therapeutic relationship.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Asking about daily experience, developmental history, relationships, and strengths.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why the person's existing coping tools matter.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Her Whole Human Ecosystem Framework.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Considering how physical health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, routines, and environment interact.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Introducing changes according to a person's readiness rather than changing everything at once.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Access, affordability, group services, and the practical time demands of care.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why developmental history matters when exploring autism and trauma.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The need to avoid explaining every autistic difficulty as trauma.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Shari's description of collaborating with a physician around ketamine-assisted psychotherapy.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Preparation, medical screening, monitoring, and follow-up.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Her personal and professional experiences with cannabis and herbal formulations.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Questions to ask when a provider offers an emerging or complementary treatment.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "natural" and "personalized" should not replace questions about evidence and safety.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Individual goals, informed choice, and avoiding one-treatment promises.

About the Guest
Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, is a therapist who describes operating an integrative mental-health center in Boca Raton, Florida. In this interview, she discusses psychotherapy, somatic approaches, movement, music, nutrition-related collaboration, plant formulations, and medically supervised treatment partnerships.
She introduces her Whole Human Ecosystem Framework as a way of considering the interactions between different parts of a person's life and building a collaborative plan around their needs and strengths.
Shari's services are associated with Cannectd. Because the closing transcript contains an incomplete spelling and no full website address, confirm her preferred website and exact Instagram handle before publishing them as clickable resources.
Key Takeaways
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A treatment conversation can consider more than a diagnosis: the person's priorities, history, environment, physical health, relationships, and existing strengths matter.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Individualized care also needs to account for cost, time, energy, access, and sensory preferences.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> An appealing explanation is not the same as evidence that a treatment will help a particular person.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Different complementary approaches have different levels of supporting evidence.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Herbal products and supplements can have side effects and medication interactions; "natural" does not automatically mean safe.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Questions about qualifications, medical responsibility, risks, alternatives, monitoring, and follow-up belong in informed consent.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A personal improvement story should not be presented as proof that an intervention treats or reverses autism.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The goal is appropriate support and improved quality of life—not making someone appear less autistic.

You know what you need to do.
You have the list. You have the planner. You might even have an entire Notion dashboard that looks like it belongs in a productivity commercial.
So why is the thing still not getting done?
In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Kevin Bailey, an executive-functioning and resilience coach and the creator of Go Beyond Knowing. Kevin works with neurodivergent professionals who are capable, creative, and working hard—but struggle to turn what they know into consistent action without overwhelming themselves.
We explore why a task can be harder than it looks, when breaking it into smaller steps helps, and when more planning becomes another obstacle. Kevin introduces five "stuck points"—doubt, overwhelm, friction, isolation, and drift—and a flexible loop for moving work forward: Decide, Plan, Start, Continue, and Reflect.
We also discuss deadline panic, low-stakes accountability, changing systems when novelty fades, and why sometimes the next step is not another productivity experiment. Sometimes your capacity is depleted, and you need support rather than another demand.
This conversation is for autistic, ADHD, and other neurodivergent adults who are tired of wondering why knowing the answer has not made doing the task any easier.
In This Episode, We Cover
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why Kevin created Go Beyond Knowing.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The gap between collecting information and applying it in daily life.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Different reasons for getting stuck: not knowing the next step, struggling to start, or lacking capacity.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a beautiful plan does not guarantee follow-through.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The "healthy pause": observing what is happening before adding another strategy.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Kevin's five stuck points: doubt, overwhelm, friction, isolation, and drift.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Looking back at similar tasks to identify what has helped before.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> When detailed planning becomes more work than the original task.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Design thinking: adapting a system to its user rather than forcing the user to fit it.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why organized chaos may be functional even if it is not visually impressive.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Accountability you choose rather than monitoring that makes you feel judged.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Decide, Plan, Start, Continue, Reflect as a repeating loop.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Planning how to return to work—not only how to begin.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Assessing the cost of relying on last-minute urgency.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "Paper tiger deadlines": earlier check-ins with lower stakes.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a useful system does not have to last forever.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Trying small, time-limited experiments instead of committing to a perfect routine.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Accounting for sensory demands, burnout, and changing capacity.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Rebuilding self-trust with both compassion and honest reflection.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Kevin's Follow-Through Self-Check and 30-minute Clarity Call.

Kevin's Frameworks at a Glance
These are Kevin's coaching models as described in the interview—not diagnostic categories or universal rules.
Five Stuck Points
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Doubt

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Overwhelm

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Friction

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Isolation

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Drift

Kevin uses these as starting points for exploring what may be interfering with progress. He notes that more than one can be present at the same time.
The Follow-Through Loop
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Decide: Identify what you want to do.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Plan: Consider the steps, timing, and resources.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Start: Begin the first part of the work.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Continue: Create a way to return and keep track.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Reflect: Notice what happened, recognize progress, and adjust.

Kevin emphasizes that this is a loop—not a sequence you must execute perfectly once.
About the Guest
Kevin Bailey is an executive-functioning and resilience coach who works primarily with neurodivergent career professionals, including autistic and ADHD adults and people exploring their needs without a particular label.
His background includes organizational development, leadership, workplace learning, and human-centered problem-solving. Through Go Beyond Knowing, he applies those experiences to helping clients identify barriers, design practical supports, and move from ideas toward action without treating themselves as the problem.
Resources mentioned in the interview:
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Website: gobeyondknowing.com

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Follow-Through Self-Check: A starting point for exploring information overload, decision difficulties, and unclear or oversized tasks.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Clarity Call: A 30-minute conversation about potential support.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> LinkedIn: Search Kevin Bailey alongside Go Beyond Knowing.

Key Takeaways
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Knowing what to do and being able to do it are not the same thing.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> More planning is not automatically the answer.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Your experience of similar tasks can contain useful information you have forgotten to use.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A system should be evaluated by whether it helps—not by whether it looks organized.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Accountability works best when its purpose and format fit the person receiving it.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Starting is only part of follow-through; returning and reflecting matter too.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A system can be useful for a season without becoming your permanent method.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> When capacity is severely depleted, adding pressure may miss the need for recovery and support.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-compassion does not require ignoring recurring problems. You can investigate a pattern without attacking your worth.

What happens when the explanations you were given about your body, your health, and your childhood no longer make sense?
In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Jordyn Hope, they/she, a survivor expert, national trainer, consultant, and founder of Flourishing Wildly. Their work brings together lived experience and professional education to help healthcare, mental-health, education, and child-protection teams respond more thoughtfully to complex harm.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">response2recovery+1
Jordyn shares their experience of Munchausen by proxy abuse, late autism identification, eating-disorder treatment, medical dismissal, and the difficult process of learning to trust their own perceptions.
We discuss why sensationalized coverage can leave survivors questioning whether their experience "counts," how autistic communication can be misunderstood, and why surviving medical abuse does not mean a person has no genuine illnesses or ongoing support needs. Abuse and real medical conditions can coexist.
We also explore curiosity, compassion, medical records, peer support, and the difference between helping someone understand their experience and telling them what their story must be.
This conversation centers the person harmed—not the spectacle surrounding the harm.
Content note: Discussion of child abuse, medical trauma, eating disorders, institutionalization, and references to methods of abuse. Please listen at a pace that works for you.
In This Episode, We Cover
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What Jordyn means by "survivor expert": lived experience alongside expertise in the field.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Their work through Flourishing Wildly as a trainer, consultant, and peer-support provider.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why they use the term "Munchausen by proxy abuse" to keep attention on harm.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What gets lost when media coverage centers the person causing abuse.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a survivor's experience does not need to resemble a highly publicized case to matter.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The destabilizing experience of reconsidering childhood explanations about illness.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Jordyn's experience of discovering genuine health needs after being told their symptoms were all psychological.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The role medical records played in their own understanding.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why records can be illuminating and emotionally overwhelming.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How autistic communication and unmet needs were misunderstood in Jordyn's experience.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The harm of treating requests for support as evidence of manipulation.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Making room for uncertainty instead of forcing an "all real" or "all made up" account.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Responding to symptoms with curiosity rather than immediate disbelief.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The distinction between advocacy for necessary care and concerns about caregiver-caused harm.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why isolated observations are not enough to establish abuse.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Listening privately and accessibly without assuming a young person will understand what has happened to them.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Recognizing that a person repeating a caregiver's explanation does not automatically make them complicit.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Rebuilding self-trust without demanding perfect certainty about every memory.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Grounding practices that fit the individual.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Beginning with support rather than trying to process an entire history at once.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why needing sustained care does not make someone "too much."

About the Guest
Jordyn Hope, they/she, is a national trainer, consultant, survivor advocate, and founder of Flourishing Wildly. Their work focuses on Munchausen by proxy abuse, neurodivergence, chronic illness, patient safety, and harm within systems intended to provide care.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">response2recovery+1
Jordyn brings survivor experience to training and consultation for healthcare providers, educators, child-protection professionals, mental-health practitioners, and multidisciplinary teams. Their stated focus is helping organizations build safer, more ethical, and more survivor-centered responses.
In this interview, Jordyn also describes their peer-support role as a "liberation doula": walking alongside people rather than promising to fix them.
Find training, consultation, individual-support information, media work, and contact details at flourishingwildly.com.
Key Takeaways
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Centering the person harmed changes the conversation from sensational storytelling to safety, care, and long-term support.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> One survivor's experience should not become the threshold every other survivor must meet.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Genuine illness and medical abuse are not mutually exclusive.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A person's communication style, support needs, or uncertainty should not automatically be interpreted as dishonesty.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Records may clarify parts of a history without resolving every question or memory.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Support can make room for uncertainty without dismissing distress or supplying an answer on someone else's behalf.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Needing help is not proof of manipulation, failure, or unwillingness to improve.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A useful starting point is finding someone who can listen carefully and help identify appropriate resources.

"You're in graduate school."
"You're in a long-term relationship."
"You can carry a conversation."
Okay—but at what cost?
In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Ryn Rising, a queer, trans, neurodivergent counselor and coach who supports adults navigating late autism and ADHD identification, burnout, masking, identity, and relationships. Their practice offers counseling for Oregon residents and coaching for clients worldwide.
Ryn shares how burnout during graduate school led them to seek an autism assessment and reconsider an earlier bipolar diagnosis. We explore why being able to perform, achieve, or connect socially does not reveal how much effort that performance requires.
Ryn also introduces GRAVY: Gentleness, Rest and recovery, Accommodations, Vital needs, and Your joy. It is their personal framework for bringing more compassion, practical support, and recovery into a life where work, finances, and caregiving cannot simply disappear.
We talk about small changes, rebuilding self-trust, welcoming a client's "no," different processing needs in relationships, and Ryn's experience of moving abroad.
This conversation is for anyone who has finally found language for their experience—and is now asking, "How do I build a life that actually makes room for me?"
Content note: Discussion of mental-health misdiagnosis, medical harm, identity-related stress, and political concerns.
In This Episode, We Cover
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Ryn's experience of burnout in high school and graduate school.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Moving from understimulation and extra commitments into overload.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why they sought an autism assessment after an earlier diagnosis they describe as incorrect.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How late identification brought clarity and closure.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> High masking and the hidden cost of appearing capable.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why academic success and relationships do not tell the whole story of someone's support needs.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Exploring gendered expectations without reducing trans and nonbinary people to assumptions.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What self-erasure can look like in everyday decisions.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Rebuilding self-trust after years of overriding discomfort.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Accepting real constraints while identifying demands that can change.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The five parts of Ryn's GRAVY framework.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Taking micro-steps when a complete lifestyle overhaul is not possible.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Responding to the inner critic when a small step feels "not enough."

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What lived experience can add to professional support.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why no identity group is a monolith.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Making room for skepticism, disagreement, and refusal in therapy.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How Ryn distinguishes the emphasis of their therapy and coaching work.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Moving to the Netherlands and navigating identity across cultures.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Burnout during major life transitions.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Different processing times in relationships.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Pausing a difficult conversation without abandoning it.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Making room for joy after late-identification grief.

The GRAVY Framework
Ryn describes GRAVY as their own organizing framework, informed by approaches they use in therapy and coaching. It is not presented here as a separately validated treatment protocol.
:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft">  

:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-raised"> Letter Meaning Focus in the conversation G Gentleness Self-compassion, perfectionism, internalized ableism, and the inner critic R Rest and recovery Sleep, restorative rest, sensory recovery, and reducing demands A Accommodations Accessible routines, executive-function supports, sensory needs, and unmasking when safe V Vital needs Nutrition, hydration, and movement Y Your joy Special interests, play, connection, pleasure, and enjoyment

About the Guest
Ryn Rising, they/them, is a queer, trans, neurodivergent counselor and coach whose work focuses on late identification, burnout, masking exhaustion, identity exploration, life transitions, and relationships. Their approach combines professional training with lived experience and emphasizes collaboration, compassion, curiosity, and practical support.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">innerrising+1
Ryn's practice, Inner Rising Counseling and Coaching, offers online counseling for Oregon residents and coaching worldwide.
In this interview, they also discuss their move to the Netherlands and their planned podcast, The Human Therapist Rising, which they describe as a project about the humans behind therapeutic work.
Resources:
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Inner Rising Counseling and Coaching.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Ryn's professional profile.psychologytoday

Publishing note: The interview names an earlier website, innerrisingwellness.com. The current site found for their practice is innerrising.nl.
Key Takeaways
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Being able to do something does not reveal its emotional, sensory, or recovery cost.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Late identification can bring relief while also opening new questions about identity and daily life.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-trust can develop through noticing needs and responding to them in manageable ways.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Small changes deserve attention without being presented as a substitute for adequate resources or systemic support.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Joy belongs in a conversation about recovery—not only productivity and symptom management.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A client's disagreement is useful information, not automatically resistance.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Shared lived experience can support understanding without making two people's experiences identical.

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Relationship conversations can make room for different processing needs without forcing an immediate agreement.