Adulting with Autism

Today's guest is Carli Fink, a Certified Career Development Practitioner in Canada and the founder of Foreseeable Futures Career Consultancy (Toronto & online). Carli's all about the radical idea that your life can hold many possibilities—no matter your age, identity, or professional background—and she's here to challenge the "one straight path" career story.
In this conversation, we get into what it really looks like to "figure it out" (at 18, 28, 38, 50+—all of it) and why your career is not a one-time decision.
What we cover:
Why "options" aren't the real starting point—self-knowledge is
The truth about regulated vs. non-regulated careers (and why most paths aren't one "right" route)
Why society clings to linear career narratives—security, culture, pressure, and the fear of uncertainty
The post-2020 shift: passion → stability → meaning (and how burnout changes the equation)
How to explore career moves without making everything permanent: prototyping stretch projects at work
upskilling (free/paid learning)
volunteering + personal projects

For autistic folks with uneven strengths: stop chasing job titles—learn to describe your strengths in full sentences, then map where they fit
How to normalize "nonlinear" paths: data, stories, and visibility of real pivots
A practical "stuck" question you can ask yourself today: What's my #1 priority driving this decision?
How to know if you're on the right path: internal signals (energy, values, impact) + external signals (traction)
How long to give a new job before deciding it's not for you: ~6 months to 1 year (depending on the role)
Where to find Carli:
Foreseeable Futures Career Consultancy (Toronto & online): foreseeablefutures.ca
LinkedIn: Carli Fink, CCDP
#AutismAcceptanceMonth #OccupationalTherapyMonth #AdultingWithAutism #CareerCounselling #NeurodivergentCareers #AutisticAdults #CollegeStudents #NonLinearCareer #PortfolioCareer #CareerDevelopment #CareerExploration #UniversalDesign #WorkplaceWellbeing #BurnoutRecovery#Podmatch

Grief is not just about death—and that misunderstanding keeps a lot of people stuck, ashamed, and confused about what they're feeling.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, Kathryn "Katie" Brzozowski, a clinical social worker (DSW) and owner of a group private practice, breaks down what grief can look like in everyday life—especially for neurodivergent people and overwhelmed caregivers. Katie draws from years of medical social work experience (including oncology) to explain how any loss can create grief: a job, a relationship, health changes, even losing hair or a body part.
We also talk about the hidden toll of caregiving—why it's emotionally and physically draining, how depletion builds over time, and why "self-care" isn't a luxury when you're responsible for someone else's needs.
Katie brings in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to reframe resilience in a realistic way: life is going to keep "life-ing," and a full life includes the full range of emotions—not constant happiness. Instead of getting trapped in "Why did this happen to me?" forever, she encourages a shift toward the how: how you want to live now, what you value, and what support you need next.
This conversation is especially for listeners who feel exhausted, overloaded, stuck in rumination, or afraid to ask for help because they feel like a burden.
In this episode, we cover:
Why our culture is uncomfortable with grief—and why that makes loss lonelier
Grief beyond death: job loss, divorce, health changes, body changes, identity shifts
Sneaky signs of grief people don't expect: forgetfulness / feeling "untethered"
rumination, catastrophizing, "life will never be good again" thoughts

The emotional + physical drain of caregiving (and why depletion makes everything harder)
The psychological load of invisible health challenges (and the pressure to "prove" you're struggling)
Resilience through ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy): happiness isn't the goal 24/7
values-based living even with difficult emotions

What helps when your mind and body are both exhausted: prioritizing
asking/accepting help without shame
noticing how your thoughts about self-care can ruin or restore it

Overthinking + over-functioning + pushing emotions down: why it "works" short-term but costs long-term
Transitions (small and big) and why they activate anxiety—especially with autism/ADHD
Moving from "Why did this happen?" to "How do I move forward?"
A grounded reminder: things change—a lot, and more often than you can predict
Normal stress vs overload: when it's time to talk to someone
"Feeling like a burden": the key difference between being told you're a burden vs assuming you are
why feelings aren't always facts

What compassionate support looks like for autistic adults: support shaped by the person's needs—not control
Find Katie / Speakeasy Counseling:
Website: speakeasycounselingandpsychotherapy.com or speakeasytoday.com
TikTok: Speakeasy Counseling
YouTube: Speakeasy Counseling
Podcast: Long Story Longer (with a psychiatric nurse practitioner)
Location: New Jersey (in-office + online options mentioned)

Self-love isn't manicures, martinis, or "treat yourself" energy. And it's not a vibe. It's a practice.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, Lulu Essey—speaker, mindset advisor, and executive creative director—breaks down what self-love actually means in real life: the refusal to abandon yourself. Lulu shares from lived experience, not theory: she's navigated severe bipolar disorder for over 30 years while building a high-level career, and she's still working with it daily.
We talk about why so many neurodivergent young adults second-guess themselves after spending years in environments that weren't built for them—and how rebuilding self-trust doesn't happen through a 30-day reset. Lulu teaches a nervous-system-friendly approach: micro moments of safety that compound over time, creating real emotional resilience without relying on performative confidence.
Lulu also shares her experience exploring ketamine treatment after medication changes stopped holding her through a severe downturn—and why self-advocacy is a core part of self-love. She's clear about doing this responsibly: work with your care team, don't make medication changes unsupervised, and research options while keeping your agency.
This is a grounded conversation about finding peace, building stability, and learning how to stay on your own team—even when life is throwing everything at you.
In this episode, we cover:
A real definition of self-love: "returning to self" and refusing to abandon yourself
Self-trust: quiet, grounded knowing—even when others disagree
Why "quick transformation" culture backfires (and what sustainable change looks like instead)
Signs of chronic dysregulation: racing mind, inability to settle, poor sleep, irritability, anxiety, appetite shifts
The micro-moments of safety reset: hand on heart
3 slow breaths (longer exhale than inhale)
feel feet on the ground
orient to the room (name what you can see/smell/touch)

The difference between intuition vs. fear (threat alarm vs. calm grounded clarity)
Performing confidence vs. real confidence (feedback stings—but doesn't collapse your self-worth)
"Regulate your nervous system" as a buzzword—Lulu's reframe: find calm, peace, stability
Small predictable anchors during big change: consistent wake time, making your bed, repeatable routines
The "space between": why change can feel worse before it feels better (unfamiliar ≠ dangerous)
Lulu's ketamine path: years of meds + ECT experience (and memory impact)
researching ketamine for treatment-resistant depression
advocating for herself when things escalated

Bridging science + intuition (and Western + Eastern approaches) through mindfulness and intentional practice
A simple way to "join your own team" this week: replace harsh self-talk with a slightly kinder thought
Find Lulu Essey:
Podcast: The Lulu Essey Podcast
YouTube: Lulu Essey
Instagram + TikTok: Lulu Essey
Website: luluessy.com (as stated)

What if the reason sex feels confusing, overwhelming, or shame-loaded isn't because you're "too much"… but because you were never taught how to be honest about what you want—especially with a neurodivergent nervous system?
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, Jocelyn Silva—sexual empowerment coach and sex educator—talks about healing sexual shame, building real intimacy, and learning what she calls relentless authenticity: telling the truth (even when it's uncomfortable) so your relationships can actually feel safe.
Jocelyn shares her own story: growing up deeply religious and carrying heavy sexual shame, then swinging hard in the opposite direction after leaving the church—reckless choices, dishonest patterns, and ultimately being caught in infidelity at 27. She describes that moment as a rock bottom that led her into Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), back into spirituality, and into a new framework: you can be sexually free and ethical—because intimacy doesn't work without integrity.
For autistic and ADHD listeners who've spent years masking—saying "yes" when you mean "no," people-pleasing to keep attachment, and feeling "high maintenance" for sensory needs—this conversation gives language and tools you can actually use. From "universal feeling words" and I-statements, to journaling, to somatic reconnection practices, Jocelyn makes it practical without pretending it's painless.
In this episode, we cover:
Sexual shame: how it forms (religion, culture, messaging) and how it shows up in adult relationships
The pendulum swing: why freedom without a framework can turn into self-abandonment
Infidelity as rupture—and how recovery can become a "living amends"
Neurodivergent intimacy: why honesty can be a strength (and also feel risky)
Attachment vs. authenticity (Gabor Maté): how masking starts in childhood and follows you into adulthood
How to separate what you want vs. what you were taught you should want ("Speak Your Desires" exercise)
What "relentless authenticity" looks like in real relationships: emotional regulation, emotional safety, distress tolerance
Communication tools that reduce blow-ups: Use language people can actually understand (not vague phrases)
I feel ___ when you ___ because ___

The "7 days of no lying" challenge (and a 24-hour repair rule if you slip)
Sensory needs without shame: there's no "universal" sex—needs are not burdens
First gentle reconnection step when you feel disconnected from your body: get naked, close your eyes, and slowly touch your body from toes up
How to tell the difference between "I don't want this" vs. "I want it but I'm scared/overwhelmed"
First step for self-betrayal patterns: journal it—tell yourself the truth first
Find Jocelyn Silva:
Website: jocelynsilva.com
Instagram: @iamjocelynsilva

What if your autistic or ADHD young adult could get support in the moment—without waiting for a therapist appointment, without a parent getting 100 calls a day, and without guilt that you "can't do enough"?
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, Josh Rosenfeld (neurodivergent technologist, former Zillow exec, longtime programmer) and Noell Vaughn (caregiver advocate and mom to a neurodivergent daughter) share what they're building: Always Here—a next-generation AI companion designed specifically for the neurodivergent community, with real guardrails and caregiver visibility.
Josh explains the origin story: a student asked him to create a voice bot that sounded like her for her autistic adult son—and the son opened up to what he called "robot mom." That moment turned into a mission: build an AI companion that can support neurodivergent people from young adulthood through the long term—especially when caregivers are exhausted, overwhelmed, or eventually gone.
Noell brings the caregiver reality check: in autism/ND caregiver groups, the most common fear is "What happens when I'm not here?" The second is burnout and guilt—trying to manage jobs, other kids, and care with not enough support, especially after 18–21 when services often drop off dramatically.
They break down how this works in real life: families can add known strategies, routines, and supports so the AI responds in a familiar way—while also drawing from neurodivergent coaching-informed frameworks when families don't know what to say or do next. There's also a caregiver dashboard that can include teachers, therapists, and care team members so strategies stay consistent across home and school (continuity of care).
Most importantly, they address the big fear with AI: safety. Always Here is built with robust guardrails, post-conversation analysis, and caregiver summaries/alerts—so support is more consistent than a human can be, but not a replacement for human connection.
In this episode, we cover:
The "Robot Mom" moment that launched Always Here
Why caregivers' biggest fear is the future: care plans after parents are gone
Why the 18–21 transition is so hard: fewer supports, more responsibility, more burnout
What Always Here can do now: talk, text, "see," and support emotional regulation
Reducing overwhelm: forwarding repeated calls while still alerting caregivers for emergencies
Custom voices/roles: mom/dad, or even characters (Pokémon trainer, athlete) to increase engagement
Caregiver control: what the bot does/doesn't do, when it encourages calling a real parent
Continuity of care: teacher/therapist strategies reinforced at home via the dashboard
Independence supports: routines, reminders, calendars, environment cues (like lights)
Guardrails + monitoring + summaries: preventing risky AI dynamics and keeping parents in the loop
"Vibe coding" and rapid building: how Josh uses AI to build safely at scale—while avoiding feature creep
Pricing + access: why it's not a $5.99 app, plus scholarships and future partnerships (insurance, universities)
Pricing / access (as stated in the episode):
Currently building via cohorts + waiting list
Two-month trial mentioned
Cost discussed as $249/month (with group discounts potentially lower)
Scholarships planned as funding grows
Sign up / links mentioned:
Always Here waiting list: alwayshere.app
Free caregiver AI tools (GAPS): gaps.lovable.app (G-A-P-S)