Ever resented someone you were supposed to help? Or felt too exhausted to care, even when you knew you should?Our guests have. Daren Forbes has dedicated his life to funeral service, and Dr. Steve Jackson serves people as a physician. They know what it’s like to feel called to meaningful, people-centered work—and still feel resentful, drained, or disconnected from the very people they’re trying to serve. They share their messy moments when their mindset became the deciding factor in their ability to show up effectively instead of shut down.Ideas we explore: 01:20 — How to keep showing up when you’re completely worn out 05:45 — The shift that moves you from resentment back into service 10:30 — Unlocking creativity and care even when exhausted 13:50 — How an inward mindset clouds your judgment 18:05 — Why caring for coworkers reduces burnout and turnover 27:45 — How well-meaning policies can quietly set people up to fail Have a leadership challenge or question you’d like us to explore on the show? Submit it here!Need help developing your leaders or organization? Schedule a complimentary strategy session.
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33:10
How to stop sabotaging your most important relationships.
Can we let people—especially the ones we care about most—chart their own path? What about when we think they're making a mistake?In this part 2 episode, Jeanette returns to examine how the same leadership patterns she’s untangling in her role at work are playing out at home—with her son, her daughter-in-law, and her husband. What starts as a family conflict becomes a raw reckoning with expectations, identity, and the cost of clinging to an ideal instead of truly seeing people.Ideas we explore: 01:15 — When stepping in to help actually gets in the way 04:10 — How the ideal in your head is sabotaging your relationships 07:00 — It isn't love when it's about you 15:00 — Clinging to being right makes connection impossible 21:50 — Your mindset shapes every relationship you touch 28:00 — The courage it takes to truly see and acknowledge othersHave a leadership challenge or question you’d like us to explore on the show? Submit it here!Need help developing your leaders or organization? Schedule a complimentary strategy session.
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36:13
Why can’t your team solve problems without you?
Are your efforts to be helpful actually helpful? And when you step in, is it because your team needs your help or because you need to feel needed? If you’ve ever used the word helpful to describe yourself, this episode is for you.Because in this raw coaching session, Jeanette—a former teacher turned HR director—works with her Arbinger coach, Mitch Warner, to confront how her well-intended desire to support her principals is preventing them from owning their work. What starts as a conversation about time management becomes a deeper reckoning with control, avoidance, and the leadership cost of doing for others what you should be developing them to do on their own.Ideas we explore: 01:15 — It’s not a time problem...it’s a “doing too much” problem.03:40 — The most “helpful” leaders often create the biggest bottlenecks.08:50 — Not giving tough feedback protects comfort but prevents growth.13:20 — Stepping in communicates a lack of trust in your team.17:40 — Fixing everything turns you into the only one who can fix anything.26:00 — The need to feel helpful is quietly undermining your leadership. Have a leadership challenge or question you’d like us to explore on the show? Submit it here! Need help developing your leaders or organization? Schedule a complimentary strategy session.
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32:42
Is precision actually possible when people are involved?
How do you build a team that doesn’t sit around waiting for instructions? What if your people knew exactly what to do, even when the plan changed and you weren’t in the room to explain it?This episode explores the tension between roles that demand split-second precision and those where ambiguity is the norm. McKinlay Otterson talks with Carey Jones, former Flying Training Wing Vice Commander at Laughlin Air Force Base and retired fighter pilot, and Brad Harker, a senior sales leader, about what it really takes to drive clarity, alignment, and high performance even when the feedback loop is slow and the outcomes aren’t obvious.Questions we answer:02:52 – How do you drive performance when your role has no clear feedback loop?07:13 – How can leaders productively leverage subjectivity and interpretation?08:30 – How do you know if your team is actually having the impact you intend?14:37 – What does it take to create clarity without micromanaging?19:32 – What happens when strategy lacks clear measures of success?23:00 – What does it look like to execute on commander’s intent in business? Have a leadership challenge or question you’d like us to explore on the show? Submit it here! Need help developing your leaders or organization? Schedule a complimentary strategy session.
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25:15
Can I lead without being liked?
We’ve all felt it: the tension between being real and being in charge. But as inner-city middle school teacher Carla and retired Air Force commander Naomi reveal, that’s a false choice. Connection isn’t a distraction from leadership—it’s the doorway into it.This episode explores what happens when leaders stop hiding behind roles and start showing up as people. The result? Teams that listen, trust, and rise to meet the moment, not because they’re forced to, but because they want to.Bottom line: The most credible leaders are the most human ones and trust is built at the intersection of expectation and empathy.Questions we answer:02:00 – How do you build real connection with people you also have to hold accountable?06:10 – What is it like to lead in a culture that prizes command over connection?08:55 – How do you decide between personal crisis and professional responsibility?12:05 – How can vulnerability help strengthen trust and culture in a high-stakes organization?15:45 – What happens when leaders avoid accountability conversations to preserve relationships?17:55 – Why does accountability without connection lead to failure—and how can we avoid that?19:55 – How can embracing our own humanity unlock deeper engagement from others? Have a leadership challenge or question you’d like us to explore on the show? Submit it here! Need help developing your leaders or organization? Schedule a complimentary strategy session.
You don’t need another podcast full of vague leadership platitudes. You need real answers to the people problems that stall performance.
Leading Outward from The Arbinger Institute goes beyond theory. We coach leaders in real time to tackle their messiest issues—culture breakdowns, accountability failures, conflict and blame, and team dysfunction. We also bring you behind the scenes with executives and leaders of all varieties from around the world to break down how they are solving their most pressing challenges.
If you're ready to stop managing symptoms and start solving root problems, this is your show. It's time to start leading outward.
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