When the f**k did I become old?

Think retirement is all about having enough money saved? Think again. In this eye-opening conversation, retirement coach Dawn Marcotte reveals the hidden challenges that hit six months after you leave work - the anxiety, the boredom, the loss of identity. Dawn breaks down the four stages of retirement and shares practical strategies for building a fulfilling post-work life, from creating your "curiosity list" to joining industry associations where your expertise still matters. This episode tackles the emotional and social aspects of retirement that nobody prepares you for, with honest discussion about depression and invisibility. disappear.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
· Retirement coaching focuses on the emotional, social, and psychological changes - not finances
· The first 6 months feel amazing, then many people experience anxiety and depression
· Without planning, it takes 2 years on average to figure out retirement happiness
· The four stages: Honeymoon → Lost → Exploration → Reinvention
· You need to replace: routine, intellectual stimulation, purpose and social connections
· Create a "curiosity list" of things to explore without judging if you'll be good at them
· Join industry associations to mentor others
· Quality of relationships is the #1 predictor of happiness
· Society tells retirees to "be small"
TIMESTAMPS
00:52 - What is a Retirement Coach? Dawn explains the non-financial side of retirement coaching and why it's needed
01:40 - Why the first six months of retirement feel fantastic
02:03 - The "Now What?" Moment. When boredom and anxiety set in
03:13 – Why am I not having the time of my life?
04:02 - Key Elements for Retirement Success
04:33 - Dawn compares retirement boredom to the end of summer holidays as a kid
05:40 - DIY Jo discusses people who think they'll paint the house repeatedly (the Severn Bridge analogy)
06:45 - Most people feel lost 6 months to a year after retiring
07:56 - The Four Stages of Retirement
08:22 - The Reinvention Stage
08:43 - Giving Back Through Your Passions
09:44 - Why some people never reach the reinvention stage
10:02 - When grandchildren grow up and don't need you anymore - then what?
11:45 - UK retirement age is rising to 67-70, meaning 15-20 years to fill
13:00 - How removing structure without replacement can cause depression
14:20 - Baby Boomers & The Retirement Crisis
15:04 - The Introvert-Extrovert Marriage Challenge
16:00 - Why men particularly struggle when all their friends were at work
16:44 - Kev's Retirement Plans, he is considering snowboard instructor training to manage the transition
18:32 - The Need for Intellectual Stimulation
19:09 - Dawn's coaching technique: brainstorm things you're curious about
19:42 - Using your career expertise to mentor others after retirement
22:00 - Dawn recommends public speaking to share expertise
23:45 - Culture "be small" in retirement
24:17 - Tony Robbins' Six Human Needs
25:19 - Research shows relationship quality is the #1 indicator of happiness at any age
27:19 - Joining Organizations, finding people who enjoy what you enjoy to build new social connections
28:09 - Dawn's Book: "Filling the Blank Page"- practical guide to building a retirement of passion and purpose
30:00 - New Website Launch dawnmarcotte.com
30:30 - Dawn offers to help UK listeners find coaches i

When your adult children get married, you're not just gaining an in-law you're potentially entering a minefield of power struggles, boundary conflicts and family drama. This week, we unpack "brat-ults (privileged young adults publicly cancelling parents) through the lens of celebrity wedding wars, then dig into what happens when your first child ties the knot. From Brooklyn Beckham's 6 page Instagram manifesto to the universal challenges of dealing with your kids' partners, wedding ceremonies and prenup conversation.

KEY TAKEAWAYS
The "Brat-ult" Phenomenon: Privileged young adults publicly cancelling parents
Entitlement vs. Legitimate Conflict: The difference between healthy boundaries and entitled behaviour
1st Marriage Milestone: Parents in their mid-50s/early-60s typically experience their first child's wedding
The Partner Question: Do you express concerns about your child's relationship
Power Struggles Are Real: Wedding planning can become a battleground between families
"Us" Matters: Supporting your adult child's relationship means accepting their partner is their priority
Prenup: Best done when couples are in love and with wealth inequality
Grandchildren Pressure: Being obsessive about grandchildren
Independence Is Healthy: Teaching children self-sufficiency early creates better boundaries
The Divorce Reality: With a 48% divorce rate, statistical concerns about marriage are valid but tricky
Let Them Make Mistakes: Adult children need to make their own choices

TIMESTAMPS
00:30 Brat-ults, cancelling parents and wedding conflicts
00:59 - What are "brat-ults"? Dr. Elizabeth McCain's article on privileged young adults in conflict with their parents
01:53 - Celebrity examples: Brooklyn Beckham and Prince Harry
03:00 - Jo's frustration with Brooklyn’s entitled behaviour and public family feuds
04:38 - The psychology of spoiled children and parental guilt
06:43 - Social media's role in normalising parent cancellation, by the rich and famous
07:08 - The immaturity of public family conflicts
08:22 - Brooklyn Beckham's wedding as the catalyst
09:26 - Plot twist: When did the Spice Girls get old?
09:52 - Parents in their 50s/60s experiencing their first child's wedding
10:24 - Power struggles behind the scenes at the Beckham wedding
10:57 - The new family dynamic: Your kid is no longer a kid
12:06 - Do you like your child's partner? What if you think it won’t last?
13:30 - The importance of "the us" in relationships
14:15 -Jo's take on not being married herself
15:05 - Mother's sense of loss when a child marries
16:43 - Jo's parenting style: Independence from an early age
17:23 - Single parenting and teaching self-sufficiency
18:33 - In-law relationships: Does it really matter if you don't click?
19:20 - Power struggles over the wedding ceremony itself
19:35 - Mumzilla vs. bridezilla: Jo's prom dress experience
20:33 - Making mistakes and learning independence
20:52 - The grandchildren pressure problem
22:11 - Kev's statistical approach to marriage advice for his boys
23:01 - The prenup debate: When does it make sense?
23:47 - Deed of trust: Jo's experience with wealth protection
24:33 - Wealth inequality and prenup timing
25:20 - Kev - Would you tell your child you don't like their partner?
26:06 - Malevolence vs. minor annoyances
27:17 - Wedding planning involvement
28:52 - Final thoughts: Freedom, boundaries and respecting choices

We celebrate our podcast's 1st anniversary on Valentine's Day by diving into dating after 50, relationship maintenance and why this made-up holiday matters more than we thought.
Forget just celebrating Valentine's Day, we're celebrating a full year of podcasting! In this milestone episode, we reflect on our journey from starting with different co-hosts to building an audience (slower than expected!), going viral with 200K views and even getting nominated for a Pro-Ageing Podcast Award.
But the heart of this episode is about love after 50. We explore the three types of people on Valentine's Day (singles, established couples, and newly dating), confess how we nearly let Valentine's Day slide after 8 years together and share what people actually prioritise when dating post-50: intelligence, humour, honesty and kindness.
We get brutally honest about the challenges of dating later in life, the baggage everyone brings, financial compatibility conversations, health considerations and the reality that 35-40 years of habits won't change. From joint bank accounts (we don't have one) to understanding your partner's "money language," we cover the conversations you need to have before fully committing.

KEY TAKEAWAYS
Podcasting reality check: We overestimated Year 1 success and learned listeners dip in and out rather than following.
Valentine's serves as a reminder to invest effort in your relationship, not just celebrate on one specific date.
Post-50 dating priorities shift: Intelligence, humour, honesty and kindness matter most (men add facial attractiveness; women add dependability).
Everyone over 50 has baggage; we think it's actually a red flag if they don't.
The comfort zone trap is real: Cohabitation can lead to taking each other for granted if you're not careful
Money means different things: Safety, control, freedom, or love, understanding your partner's "money language" is crucial
We took 4.5 years before moving in together, there's no rush when you're building something real

TIMESTAMPS
00:27 - Introduction & First Anniversary
01:54 - Year One Highlights and Surprises: Viral Posts & Award Nominations
02:49 – Lessons Learnt from Our First Year
04:10 - The Three Categories of Dating for People over 50 on Valentine's Day
05:41 – The Evolution of Our Valentine’s Day
06:18 - The Comfort Zone Trap: How We Nearly Let Valentine's Slide
10:15 - What People Over 50 Actually Look For in Partners
11:29 - The Baggage Factor: Everyone Has a History
14:07 - Blended Families & Why We Had It Easier
14:55 – Our Primary Motivation When We Started Dating Each Other in Our Mid 50s
16:21 - Health & Wealth: The Delicate Conversations – Do you want to be a nursemaid?
17:19 - It Is Important to do Things Together
19:00 - Financial Compatibility: Joint Accounts vs. Independence
21:21 - Emotional Transparency, Past Relationship Trauma & Understanding Your Own “Money Language”
23:34 - Our Relationship Journey & Philosophies to Dating
25:53 - Our Opinion on Dating post 50

RESOURCES MENTIONED
• Anthony Robbins quote on Year 1 vs. Year 5 expectations
• Sunday papers article on dating characteristics post-50
• Research on financial compatibility in couples
• Love languages and attachment styles theory
• Previous viral episode: Should Adult Children Spend Christmas With Us?

CONNECT WITH US
Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube Instagram: @whenthefuckdididbecomeold

The midlife crisis isn't dead… it's had a makeover! We explore 5 new stereotypes replacing the old motorbike-and-affair cliché, confess which ones we fit and reveal shocking stats about sex after 50. Nothing is off the table!
Forget the leather jacket and motorcycle stereotype! The Times Magazine has declared the traditional midlife crisis dead and replaced it with FIVE new archetypes. Join us hilariously dissect each one;from the LinkedIn Thought Leader to the Midlife Clubber and (reluctantly) admit which stereotypes we have fallen into.
But this episode goes deeper than stereotypes. We break the taboo around sex after 50 with eye-opening statistics: 85% of men aged 60-69 are sexually active, 45% of over-50s are having the best sex of their lives, and 1 in 8 are doing it at least 5 times a week!
Inspired by the BBC series "Riot Women" and our own midlife experiences, we explore why society doesn't want to see older people as sexual beings, what happens when the kids leave home and the surprising kinks dominating the over-50s bedroom.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
The old midlife crisis stereotype (motorbike, affair, leather jacket) has been replaced by 5 new archetypes
The Midlife Clubber is real and we are living proof (daytime clubbing, anyone?)
45% of people over 50 report having the best sex of their lives RIGHT NOW
Media representation of sex after 50 is virtually non-existent (67% say it's rarely/never shown)
Empty nesters experience significant improvements in their sex lives (48% report better intimacy)
33% of over-50s are open to multiple sexual partners
Confidence and self-acceptance increase with age, leading to more sexual exploration
TIMESTAMPS
00:43 - The Times redefines the Old Midlife Crisis Stereotype and a look at the 5 new stereotypes
02:20 - Kev's Confession: Living the Stereotype Early
04:04 - Stereotype #1: The Thought Leader (Kyle with his LinkedIn insights)
06:20 - Stereotype #2: The Psychedelic Dabbler (Emma's mushroom journey)
08:05 - Stereotype #3: The Camper Van Fan (Kath's van life obsession)
09:54 - Stereotype #4: The Midlife Clubber – We could be guilty!
12:57 - Stereotype #5: The Open Relationship Advocate (Polyamorous Debs)
14:30 - Sex After 50: Breaking the Taboo
16:07 - Shocking Statistics: Sex Lives of Over-50s
20:16 - The Lelo Survey: Best Sex of Their Lives
23:12 - The Great British Sex Experiment Discussion
25:27 - Top 5 Kinks for Over-50s Revealed
26:20 – Do We Need to Re-do Our Bucket List?
26:33 - Which Stereotype Do We Relate to?
30:17 - Creating Their Own Stereotype & Next Episode Preview
RESOURCES MENTIONED
• BBC Series: Riot Women
• Times Magazine Article on midlife crisis stereotypes
• Lelo Survey: Sex Lives of Over-50s
• Previous guests: Suzanne Noble (sex advice for seniors)and Dr. Elliott Justin
• Previous episode: The Happiness Curve & Midlife Malaise
NEXT EPISODE
Valentine's Day Special - February 6, 2026
#MidlifeCrisis #AgeingUnapologetically #SexAfter50 #MidlifeReinvention #PodcastOver50 #AgeingWell #MidlifeClubbing #Perimenopause #RiotWomen #SexualWellness #Over50AndThriving
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January isn’t over yet and neither are the resolutions, bucket lists, or existential reckonings. We take a brutally honest (and very funny) look at how our January intentions are actually going, from elusive masquerade balls and long-delayed bucket list dreams, to Dry January becoming… possibly Dry February.
Along the way, the conversation turns deeply personal: drinking habits, relationships, sex, sobriety, ageing bodies, and the symbolic end-of-day drink. The episode concludes with a passionate tribute to one of January’s most iconic sons, David Bowie, and why his legacy still matters across generations.

Key Takeaways
Bucket lists don’t expire - sometimes timing is everything.
Alcohol is deeply symbolic, especially in relationships and daily rituals.
Stopping (or questioning) drinking later in life is emotional, not just physical.
Ageing invites honesty - about bodies, habits, sex and self-image.
David Bowie remains timeless, influencing generations long after his death.
January isn’t about perfection - it’s about reflection.

Timestamps
00:53 Our Bucket List Update, The Masquerade Ball - Venice, Versailles, eye-watering ticket prices and alternative
02:15 Kev finally ticks off a 23-year-old dream and the emotional backstory involving Jeremy Clarkson, fatherhood, guilt and timing
05:56 Kev’s Post-Christmas stubborn weight and why January hasn’t magically fixed anything
06:45 Drinking Maths – Kev is drinking 50–70 units a week, 4,000 calories, NHS guidelines and the uncomfortable truth behind “I don’t want to eat less”
08:11 He is considering “dry something” because 17.5M people in the UK are doing Dry January
09:11 The over-55s are least likely to question alcohol intake, Kev will do a month dry
10:16 Jo’s Sobriety Story, why she gave up alcohol over 20 years ago, being a single parent- fear, responsibility and choosing pain over pleasure
13:15 Jo & Kev have questions for each other from a recent article
13:36 Kev asks if she thinks he is drinking too much
15:40 When was the last time we had sober sex
16:20 If Kev gives up drinking, there is a possibility that he might be miserable
18:43 Kev predicts irritability, garage cleaning and losing the symbolic “end of the day” drink.
20:30 Celebrities of our age who have given up alcohol
22:10 David Bowie gave up alcohol in 1993
23:07 David and Elvis were massive icons
24:27 Ziggy Stardust was a redhead
24:55 The first airplay of “Heroes” played by John Peel, in the same year as Elvis died
26:05 Bowie’s cultural impact, he is timeless. He died 10 years ago, he released Black Star. Was that orchestrated?
29:20 Bowie was a nonconformist; he shaped music and fashion
29:54 A recent article said 10 bands wouldn’t exist without Bowie, including Sex Pistols, Joy Division, The Cure, Suede, Pulp, Placebo and The Kooks
38:37 We promise to report back on Dry January/February

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