When the f**k did I become old?

How do you get heard again after 55? This week we're joined by our friend Andrew Morgan, a professional toastmaster and MC with more than 20 years at the front of the room. We talk about the difference between being heard and being listened to, why relevance beats volume, how to walk into a new group with confidence, and whether we should sign up for Toastmasters.
Key Takeaways
Being heard and being listened to are not the same thing. Some people are heard straight away because they talk louder or take charge of a conversation. A lasting voice comes from contribution: taking a moment to read the room, understand the people in it and what they want, and then adding something that helps the group. That is earning attention rather than requesting it.
When we leave work, and the authority that came with it, many of us feel less relevant and less visible. Andrew's answer is relevance and self-awareness. Instead of walking in asking what people think of us, ask what the room needs and how we can make it better for being there. And do not assume age has made you self-aware. Some people go through life without noticing the effect they have. Are you an energy drain or an energy radiator? Even swapping "not bad" for "fabulous, how are you?" changes how people respond to you.
Life experience is an advantage, but only when it is used well. Transferable experience means sharing what we have learned with empathy, because people rarely say what their real problem is, and the right word at the right time can help enormously. Experience does not automatically earn respect, though. Assuming we know better because we are older is a quick way to be ignored.
Losing words is not just an age thing, and the fix is simple: pause. A couple of seconds feels like forever to the speaker, but nobody walks away. A pause makes people lean in, and it beats filling the gap with something irrelevant.
Toastmasters International (not the same as a professional toastmaster in a red coat at a wedding) gets a firm thumbs up. It offers impromptu speaking practice, a structured path from talking about yourself to handling a debate, a welcoming new community and a bit of structure for semi retirement.
Andrew's best tip for joining any new group: arrive on time or five minutes early, but not so early that the organisers are still setting up. They will introduce you to members as they arrive, and you avoid walking into a full, noisy room as a stranger.
 
 
Timestamps
00:09 - Welcome and introducing Andrew Morgan
00:45 - Being heard straight away versus having a voice that lasts
02:25 - Earning attention rather than requesting it
04:49 - Relevance, reading the room and the "what do people think of me?" trap
07:11 - Feeling less relevant after leaving work, and why it is still scary at 55
09:35 - Self-awareness, energy drains and energy radiators
11:30 - "Not bad" versus "fabulous", and Andrew's three pillars
12:03 - Transferable experience and sharing it with empathy
14:13 - Who commands a room: younger versus older MCs
16:37 - Why experience alone does not earn respect and why it can still be an advantage 17:30 - Should I join Toastmasters?
19:00 - Professional toastmaster versus Toastmasters International
21:23 - Losing words, flat stories and finding structure in semi-retirement
23:13 - The power of the pause
25:30 - Finding a new community and arriving five minutes early

This week we're joined by Laura Ashforth, co-founder of Lateral, a new health insurance plan built specifically for fit, active over 60s. We talk about why nobody designs financial products for this generation, what "active" really means, what the plan does and doesn't cover, and why planning ahead for your health and your wealth matters if you have no intention of stopping.
Key Takeaways
Most financial products lump everyone over 60 together, which means healthy, active people end up paying for a decline phase they are nowhere near. Lateral was built after Laura watched her own parents, travelling, working and fitter than ever, cancel their private health insurance because the price no longer made sense.
"Active" doesn't mean extreme. It means having an agenda for this stage of life, whether that's paddle, grandchildren, a big gardening project or a festival. To join, you answer a few quick questions on smoking, weight, blood sugar and major health history and commit to a yearly health check worth nearly £400. Keep up those basics and you will be offered renewal, even if you do claim.
Pricing is set in age bands (60 to 64, 65 to 69, 70 to 74) and published upfront, so you can see what's coming rather than facing a nasty surprise at renewal.
It isn't an all singing, all dancing policy. Private cancer treatment isn't included (you get specialist nurse support alongside the NHS instead) and conditions from the last two years aren't covered. The focus is on common procedures like hips, knees and cataracts, where NHS waits are longest and people are already paying out of savings.
The research found people genuinely want to use the NHS. They just want a pragmatic option where waits start to affect their quality of life. And when you do need to claim, nurses help you weigh up NHS versus private care rather than simply settling a bill.
Laura's one piece of advice: plan ahead for your health and your wealth, because those are the two things that stop you. Then get the basics right: sleep well, eat well, stay active and join your community.
Timestamps
00:09 - Welcome and introducing Laura Ashforth, co-founder of Lateral
01:00 - Why nobody is building products for the over 60s
01:50 - What "active" really means (hint: not ultra marathons)
02:31 - Laura's parents and the private cover they dropped because of price
03:30 - Breaking into a regulated market, and the research behind the product
04:55 - What the research revealed: ABBA Voyage, allotments and letting lunch take as long as it needs
07:22 - Who can join: the two to three minute health questions
08:00 - The annual BlueCrest health check, designed for 60 and 70 year olds
09:46 - Why fit people shouldn't be priced alongside everyone else
10:30 - The criteria: BMI, walking a kilometre, cancer and heart history
12:09 - The health check as a condition of renewal, and why members book it straight away
13:30 - What happens if you get ill after you join
14:33 - Insurance as a two-way partnership
16:58 - Transparent pricing by age bracket
18:00 - What isn't covered: pre-existing conditions and the two-year look back
19:19 - No private cancer treatment, and a set list of procedures up to £50k a year
21:48 - Working alongside the NHS, not replacing it
24:12 - Why "full fat" cover becomes unaffordable in your 60s
26:38 - The claims journey: nurses who help you navigate NHS and private care
29:02 - We're not scared of getting older, we're scared of getting less healthy
30:00 - The Club: free healthy ageing content written by doctors
31:17 - What's next: travel insurance, social care and a top-heavy population
33:34 - The one thing to do this year
Find out more, and join the free Club, https://www.lateral.uk/
WTFDBO are not financial advisers. Always read the full policy documents and do your own research before buying any insurance.

This week we pick through a budget that was long on points and short on change, pulling out what matters for pensions, savings and tax, plus three actions worth taking. Then we lighten up with the things that have completely passed us by since leaving the machine, from the clocks going back to Halloween creeping up on us.
Key Takeaways
Most of this budget was about what did not change, and for anyone planning retirement that stability is welcome. ISA allowances stay at £20,000, pension allowances are untouched, and the tax-free lump sum remains capped at £268,275. The state pension rises 3.9% to £13,036, the triple lock survives for now, and pensioners living on the state pension alone will not be taxed on it.
Cash savings sitting outside an ISA will be taxed more heavily, so if you have money in an ordinary savings account, now is the time to get it into a cash ISA or another tax-efficient wrapper. Use every allowance you have, including any unused allowance belonging to your spouse.
The quiet sting is the freeze on income tax thresholds. As pensions, annuities and wages rise, more of us will be dragged into higher tax bands without noticing. If you are still working, increasing your pension contributions or giving to charity can keep you below the next threshold.
The biggest change for retirees is still coming: from April 2027, unused pension pots become subject to inheritance tax, and beneficiaries may pay income tax on top. That flips the usual advice of spending other assets first and saving the pension for last. Talk to a financial adviser about your drawdown plan before then.
On the lighter side, leaving work, the school run and the daily commute means the outside world simply stops telling you things. The clocks changing and Halloween both arrived without warning. Christmas, however, is a different story, and the decorations are going up on Sunday.
We are not financial advisers, so please do your own research before acting on anything here.
Timestamps
00:09 - Welcome and introducing the episode
00:50 - A defensive, "nothing to see here" budget, and our disclaimer
01:30 - What didn't change: income tax, CGT, dividends and ISA allowances
03:30 - Pension allowances and the tax-free lump sum stay put
04:55 - State pension up 3.9% and the triple lock reaffirmed
06:15 - Higher tax on savings interest held outside an ISA
07:18 - A 2% rise in landlord tax
07:50 - The Lifetime ISA becomes the First Time Buyers ISA
09:40 - Household energy payments and scrapping gas standing charges
12:04 - Fuel duty and VAT cuts on electricity extended
12:40 - Frozen tax thresholds and fiscal drag
14:50 - Unused pensions brought into inheritance tax from April 2027
17:00 - Action 1: make the most of your tax-free allowances
17:50 - Action 2: rethink the order you draw down your pension
19:12 - Action 3: dodging fiscal drag with pension contributions and charitable giving
20:00 - The things we miss now we're out of the machine
21:08 - Waking up to find the clocks had gone back
22:30 - Halloween gardens and becoming a grumpy old man
24:15 - Christmas decorations on 1 November, and why

Do you really need goals once you’ve retired? This week we look at why goal setting might matter more after work ends, not less. We unpack retirement drift, take an online quiz to see how far we’re drifting, and share a practical, non-corporate way to set five-year and one-year goals without turning retirement into another job.
Key Takeaways
Losing the structure of work is one of the hardest parts of retirement. Left unchecked it can turn into retirement drift: unmotivated days, shrinking social circles, declining fitness and the nagging question of whether this is all there is. It creeps up slowly, so it is worth checking in on. You can take the free quiz at www.retirementwisdom.com/retirement-drift/. One of us scored 77 out of 100 (thriving), the other 66 (some drift, could do better).
You do not need a rigid schedule to stay on track. A couple of anchor events, like a regular fitness class, give shape to the week and keep weekends feeling special.
Goals work best as a compass, not a performance review. Rather than agonising over your life purpose, try writing three to five statements you want to be true in five years, then work back to what you would like to achieve this year. Use categories that matter to you: passion projects, relationships, health and learning are a start, but finances or travel might fit better. Simply writing them down creates a kind of contract with yourself.
Purpose often is not found by searching for it. It is what is left when you notice the things you keep turning up for, whether that is the dog walk, the football team or the book club where nobody reads the book.
If a goal needs action, break it into small steps each quarter, or it will quietly never happen. And if you are not ready to set goals yet, that is fine. Being lost is a legitimate stage of transition. Just decide how long you will give yourself before you start finding your way.
 
Timestamps
00:09 - Welcome: why we’re talking about something as dull as goal setting
01:15 - Loss of structure and the idea of retirement drift (Mark and Judy Rollins, Retirement Transformed)
02:34 - The symptoms of retirement drift
03:40 - How people respond: 5am routines, time chunking and to-do lists
05:15 - Anchor events, and how they keep the weekend feeling like a weekend
07:15 - The retirement drift quiz and our scores
08:45 - What a goal actually is
09:43 - Goals as a way to uncover your dreams, and why not everyone got to imagine retirement
11:45 - Richard and Jackie Pickles: goals as a compass, not a target
12:45 - Life purpose and the laminated mission statement on the fridge
13:50 - Ambition revisited, plus our Ikigai episode coming in November
15:15 - Skipping life purpose: writing a five-year vision
16:34 - One-year goals and choosing categories that mean something to you
18:58 - Our five-year aspirations, from healthy and upright to keeping the toys
20:30 - Seventeen goals versus two, and giving yourself permission to be lost
21:30 - Life purpose as the thing you keep turning up for
22:50 - Turning goals into quarterly action plans
23:40 - Calendar chaos, and the friends spreadsheet
26:15 - Why writing things down works
27:15 - Drift, being lost, and giving it a time limit

What if leaving your career doesn't mean retiring your drive? This week we're joined by Hugo Brooks, author, speaker and guide, who walked away from more than 30 years running marketing businesses after his wife asked one simple question: are you sure you want to do this again? We talk about what ambition really is, why "purpose" has become a buzzword, and how to point your drive at something that genuinely means something to you.
Key Takeaways
Ambition is not the same as your goals. It is an independent drive, a simple human desire for tomorrow to be better than yesterday, and we all have it whether we work or not. Stopping a career does not switch it off. Of the driven people Hugo has spoken to who tried simply slowing down, only two or three in ten found it worked. The rest became uncomfortable and went looking for something new to aim at.
That drive moves through three phases: dissatisfaction, desire and determination. It works the same whether you are reorganising a kitchen cupboard or tackling world hunger. Marketing, and plenty of social media scams, work by igniting the middle phase, showing you a vision of something better so you suddenly feel dissatisfied with what you have.
Purpose has been hijacked. It started in the commercial world and has turned into pressure to do something worthy. What really matters is meaning, and meaning is personal. Curing world hunger and going fishing are equally valid if they matter to you. A useful way in is Hugo's eulogy exercise: imagine your best friend speaking at your funeral. Nobody wants them to mention last quarter's sales figures.
Somewhere in midlife the horizon stops moving. For Hugo it was realising he was older than his father was when he died. The question shifts from what can I do with my time to what will I get done with the time I have left. That can send people into denial (cue the Harley Davidson), or it can be the start of a far more meaningful second life.
Finally, treat goals as a direction, not something to worship. Reaching a goal is like walking through a pair of saloon doors: it takes seconds. Life happens in the corridor on the way there, so make the corridor count.
Hugo's book, Ambition: Redefining Success for a Restless Age, is being published in four parts. Part one is available now on Amazon.
 
Timestamps
00:09 - Welcome and introducing Hugo Brooks
02:24 - Closing a business on the way down, and the identity crisis that followed
04:47 - Why your drive and your goals are not the same thing
07:06 - Ambition as the desire for tomorrow to be better than yesterday
09:23 - The three phases: dissatisfaction, desire and determination
11:37 - Privilege and deprivation: why both can frustrate ambition
14:00 - A Minister for Ambition, and how marketing (and scams) ignite desire
16:13 - Why purpose has become a buzzword
18:33 - Meaning over purpose: from world hunger to going fishing
21:00 - The eulogy exercise
23:26 - Realigning your drive, and how it changes after 50
25:42 - When the horizon stops moving: outliving a parent
28:02 - A second life, and becoming visible in new worlds
30:22 - The book: Ambition, Redefining Success for a Restless Age
32:36 - AI, the future, and why goals are like saloon doors
35:02 - The journey, not the destination, and wrap up
Hugo's book part 1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=9781067640828