ADHD Chatter

Dr. Luke Beardon is a leading autism researcher, author and senior lecturer at Sheffield Hallam University who has spent more than 30 years working alongside autistic people and their families.

In this episode, Luke reveals what autism can actually feel like from the inside, from masking and rehearsing conversations to sensory overwhelm, burnout and the exhaustion of constantly trying to fit in.

He explores why so many people go decades without realising they’re autistic, what happens when you mask for so long that you lose sight of who you really are, and why the parts of yourself you spent a lifetime hiding may never have needed fixing in the first place.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

01:23 Why Luke dedicated his life to understanding autism

02:46 How can someone be autistic for decades without knowing?

05:38 What high-masking autism actually looks like

08:06 How early does autistic masking begin?

10:21 The biggest misconception about autism in adults

16:10 The biggest signs you’re masking autism

17:37 Why autistic people rehearse conversations

23:50 Why small talk can be so exhausting

29:59 What sensory overwhelm actually feels like

36:40 Why autistic people stim

40:04 Tiimo advert

41:31 The autistic behaviours people are made to feel ashamed of

43:33 The hidden cost of masking autism

46:39 What autistic burnout actually feels like

49:58 Can you mask for so long that you lose yourself?

51:27 When the mask becomes your personality

57:54 Are you really an introvert, or could you be autistic?

01:00:05 The Washing Machine of Woes

01:03:17 A Letter to My Younger Self

Buy Dr Luke’s books 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Books-Luke-Beardon/s?rh=n%3A266239%2Cp_27%3ALuke%2BBeardon

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Order Alex’s book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the things you've criticised yourself for your entire life... weren't flaws at all?

What if struggling to make simple decisions, feeling overwhelmed by change, or caring so deeply about fairness weren't personality quirks, but signs your brain has been working differently all along?

Today I'm joined by Dr Fareeha Amber Sadiq (known as Dr Amber), Consultant Psychiatrist and Clinical Director at Eleos Clinic. She has assessed hundreds of autistic individuals and has helped countless people finally understand why they've always felt different.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

01:54 Why Every Decision Feels So Overwhelming

06:24 Why Autistic People Need Predictability

09:04 Why Injustice Feels Physically Painful

19:19 When You Can't Start... But Can't Stop Either

23:17 The Secret to Switching Between Tasks

25:43 The Autism Trait Everyone Calls Laziness

27:33 The Shutdown Nobody Sees

32:57 Tiimo Advert

34:17 The Hidden Reason Some People Can Mask for Decades

36:08 Why So Many People Don't Realise They're Autistic

41:14 How Masking Slowly Erases Your Identity

43:13 The Most Emotional Part of an Autism Assessment

45:15 The Moment People Realise They've Been Masking Their Entire Life

50:56 The One Sentence That Makes Psychiatrists Think "Autism"

54:15 The Autism Assessment Reactions I'll Never Forget

57:22 Washing Machine of Woes (Audience Questions)

01:03:02 A Letter to My Younger Self

Download Dr. Sadiq’s free guide, Could This Be Me?, which explains why so many autistic adults were missed for decades, and what clarity could look like for you 👉 https://www.eleosclinic.com/wondering

Find Dr Sadiq on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/eleos_clinic/

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Order Alex’s book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you want to know what autistic masking actually feels like from the inside?

Dr Carly Jones MBE is one of the world’s leading autistic advocates. Diagnosed as autistic in adulthood after both of her daughters were diagnosed, she has spent nearly two decades improving the lives of autistic people through policy, education and lived experience.

In this episode, Carly explains what masking actually feels like from the inside, why so many autistic people learn to hide who they are from childhood, and the emotional cost of spending years pretending to be someone else.

Together, we explore people pleasing, self-abandonment, loneliness, burnout, and the difficult journey of discovering who you really are after decades of masking.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

01:56 The Mask You Didn't Know You Were Wearing

09:31 Is Your Brain Protecting You Without You Knowing?

11:42 The Childhood Moment You Learn It's Safer Not To Be Yourself

14:50 What Rejection Does To The Autistic Brain

18:23 Mask #1

22:25 The Day You Stopped Showing What You Loved

27:01 Mask #2

30:19 When People Pleasing Stops Being Kindness And Becomes Survival

34:25 The Moment You Start Abandoning Yourself

37:29 Tiimo advert

38:48 Mask #3

41:39 What If You're So Good At Reading People... You Forget Who You Are?43:34 Mask #4

46:43 How People Can Think You're Fine While You're Falling Apart

48:28 The Loneliness Nobody Talks About In Autism

51:07 The Warning Signs Your Mask Is About To Break

57:49 How To Start Taking The Mask Off (Without Losing Yourself)

01:01:19 Why Letting Go Of The Mask Feels So Terrifying

01:08:37 How To Know What's Really You... And What's Just Survival

01:11:47 The Lie Neurodivergent People Blame Themselves For

01:16:27 "I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore."

01:18:50 A Letter To My Younger Self

Visit Carly’s website 👉 https://drcarlyjonesmbe.uk

Find Carly on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/drcarlyjonesmbe/

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's Sunday Times Best-selling book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Buy Alex's No.1 Sunday Times Best-selling book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Burnout doesn't always look like a breakdown. Sometimes it looks like pushing through, feeling numb, forgetting who you are, or wondering why everything suddenly feels so much harder.

I'm joined by Dr Jo Perkins, an eminent Chartered Psychologist who supports senior business professionals and organisations to develop effective strategies to optimise psychological performance. Dr Jo explains how burnout develops, why so many people miss the warning signs, and why it can hit people with ADHD especially hard.Together, we explore the difference between being tired and having a nervous system that can no longer recover, the hidden role of masking, and what real recovery actually looks like.

If you've ever thought, "I'm just exhausted," but suspect it's something more, this conversation could change the way you understand burnout.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

02:10 The Biggest Lie About Burnout

03:51 Burnout Before You Realise It’s Happening

05:17 Does Burnout Hit Suddenly or Build Up?

06:23 Why People Miss the Warning Signs

09:33 How Bad Burnout Can Really Get

16:16 Do We All Have a Breaking Point?

17:20 When Your Body Stops Recovering

19:00 Tired vs Burnt Out (Big Difference)

21:24 When You Stop Feeling Like Yourself

24:38 Why Burnout Makes ADHD Worse

29:43 Tiimo Advert

31:43 Can Masking Cause Burnout?

36:46 When to Seek Professional Help

38:44 The #1 Warning Sign of Burnout

40:26 Can You Fully Recover from Burnout?

41:47 The Biggest Recovery Mistake

43:17 A Letter to My Younger Self

Visit Jo’s website 👉 https://drjoperkins.com

Find Jo on LinkedIn 👉 https://uk.linkedin.com/in/dr-jo-perkins-46b943

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Order Alex’s book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do so many people with ADHD spend their lives trying to earn their worth? How do you know if you're masking? And why do even the most successful ADHD adults still feel like they're failing?

In this episode, ADHD coach and former British Army soldier Rich Forbes explains the hidden emotional burden of ADHD, how to spot masking, practical strategies for managing rejection sensitivity, and why the right environment can change everything. Before becoming an ADHD coach, Rich served for eight years in the British Army, bringing a unique perspective on resilience, identity, and what it really takes to thrive with ADHD.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

03:33 Why ADHD Makes You Feel You Have to Earn Your Worth

05:00 The Hidden Cost of Constantly Proving Yourself

07:53 The Moment Everything Finally Made Sense

09:10 The Saddest Thing People With ADHD Tell Themselves

10:16 The Grief Nobody Warns You About After ADHD Diagnosis

11:01 Why ADHD Diagnosis Hurts Differently at Every Age

17:00 How to Tell If You've Been Masking Your Entire Life

18:54 Maybe You're Not the Problem, Maybe It's Your Environment

21:04 Is Masking ADHD's Biggest Challenge?

25:06 What Years of Masking Really Costs You

28:22 The Emotional Weight ADHD Adults Carry Every Day

31:37 Tiimo Advert

32:56 How to Calm Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

34:52 A New ADHD Hack That Changes Everything

38:52 Why Success Never Feels Like Enough With ADHD

40:16 The Advice Every ADHD Adult Needs to Hear

42:33 The One Thing ADHD Adults Need to Stop Blaming Themselves For

48:03 Why Successful Women With ADHD Still Feel Like Failures

54:46 The Biggest Myth About ADHD in Women

58:18 A Letter to My Younger Self

Find Rich on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/richforbes_adhdcoach

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Order Alex’s book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices