ADHD Chatter

Do you want to know what autistic masking actually feels like from the inside?

Dr Carly Jones MBE is one of the world’s leading autistic advocates. Diagnosed as autistic in adulthood after both of her daughters were diagnosed, she has spent nearly two decades improving the lives of autistic people through policy, education and lived experience.

In this episode, Carly explains what masking actually feels like from the inside, why so many autistic people learn to hide who they are from childhood, and the emotional cost of spending years pretending to be someone else.

Together, we explore people pleasing, self-abandonment, loneliness, burnout, and the difficult journey of discovering who you really are after decades of masking.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

01:56 The Mask You Didn't Know You Were Wearing

09:31 Is Your Brain Protecting You Without You Knowing?

11:42 The Childhood Moment You Learn It's Safer Not To Be Yourself

14:50 What Rejection Does To The Autistic Brain

18:23 Mask #1

22:25 The Day You Stopped Showing What You Loved

27:01 Mask #2

30:19 When People Pleasing Stops Being Kindness And Becomes Survival

34:25 The Moment You Start Abandoning Yourself

37:29 Tiimo advert

38:48 Mask #3

41:39 What If You're So Good At Reading People... You Forget Who You Are?43:34 Mask #4

46:43 How People Can Think You're Fine While You're Falling Apart

48:28 The Loneliness Nobody Talks About In Autism

51:07 The Warning Signs Your Mask Is About To Break

57:49 How To Start Taking The Mask Off (Without Losing Yourself)

01:01:19 Why Letting Go Of The Mask Feels So Terrifying

01:08:37 How To Know What's Really You... And What's Just Survival

01:11:47 The Lie Neurodivergent People Blame Themselves For

01:16:27 "I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore."

01:18:50 A Letter To My Younger Self

Visit Carly’s website 👉 https://drcarlyjonesmbe.uk

Find Carly on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/drcarlyjonesmbe/

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's Sunday Times Best-selling book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Buy Alex's No.1 Sunday Times Best-selling book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Burnout doesn't always look like a breakdown. Sometimes it looks like pushing through, feeling numb, forgetting who you are, or wondering why everything suddenly feels so much harder.

I'm joined by Dr Jo Perkins, an eminent Chartered Psychologist who supports senior business professionals and organisations to develop effective strategies to optimise psychological performance. Dr Jo explains how burnout develops, why so many people miss the warning signs, and why it can hit people with ADHD especially hard.Together, we explore the difference between being tired and having a nervous system that can no longer recover, the hidden role of masking, and what real recovery actually looks like.

If you've ever thought, "I'm just exhausted," but suspect it's something more, this conversation could change the way you understand burnout.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

02:10 The Biggest Lie About Burnout

03:51 Burnout Before You Realise It’s Happening

05:17 Does Burnout Hit Suddenly or Build Up?

06:23 Why People Miss the Warning Signs

09:33 How Bad Burnout Can Really Get

16:16 Do We All Have a Breaking Point?

17:20 When Your Body Stops Recovering

19:00 Tired vs Burnt Out (Big Difference)

21:24 When You Stop Feeling Like Yourself

24:38 Why Burnout Makes ADHD Worse

29:43 Tiimo Advert

31:43 Can Masking Cause Burnout?

36:46 When to Seek Professional Help

38:44 The #1 Warning Sign of Burnout

40:26 Can You Fully Recover from Burnout?

41:47 The Biggest Recovery Mistake

43:17 A Letter to My Younger Self

Visit Jo’s website 👉 https://drjoperkins.com

Find Jo on LinkedIn 👉 https://uk.linkedin.com/in/dr-jo-perkins-46b943

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Order Alex’s book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do so many people with ADHD spend their lives trying to earn their worth? How do you know if you're masking? And why do even the most successful ADHD adults still feel like they're failing?

In this episode, ADHD coach and former British Army soldier Rich Forbes explains the hidden emotional burden of ADHD, how to spot masking, practical strategies for managing rejection sensitivity, and why the right environment can change everything. Before becoming an ADHD coach, Rich served for eight years in the British Army, bringing a unique perspective on resilience, identity, and what it really takes to thrive with ADHD.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

03:33 Why ADHD Makes You Feel You Have to Earn Your Worth

05:00 The Hidden Cost of Constantly Proving Yourself

07:53 The Moment Everything Finally Made Sense

09:10 The Saddest Thing People With ADHD Tell Themselves

10:16 The Grief Nobody Warns You About After ADHD Diagnosis

11:01 Why ADHD Diagnosis Hurts Differently at Every Age

17:00 How to Tell If You've Been Masking Your Entire Life

18:54 Maybe You're Not the Problem, Maybe It's Your Environment

21:04 Is Masking ADHD's Biggest Challenge?

25:06 What Years of Masking Really Costs You

28:22 The Emotional Weight ADHD Adults Carry Every Day

31:37 Tiimo Advert

32:56 How to Calm Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

34:52 A New ADHD Hack That Changes Everything

38:52 Why Success Never Feels Like Enough With ADHD

40:16 The Advice Every ADHD Adult Needs to Hear

42:33 The One Thing ADHD Adults Need to Stop Blaming Themselves For

48:03 Why Successful Women With ADHD Still Feel Like Failures

54:46 The Biggest Myth About ADHD in Women

58:18 A Letter to My Younger Self

Find Rich on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/richforbes_adhdcoach

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Order Alex’s book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr Khurram is a world-renowned, award-winning psychiatrist and the author of Explaining AuDHD.

In this episode, he explains what AuDHD (Autism + ADHD) really feels like beyond the diagnostic labels, why so many people spend years masking their traits, and the emotional cost of living without understanding themselves.

We explore the hidden signs of AuDHD, why so many people feel broken, misunderstood, and lonely, how an AuDHD diagnosis can transform relationships and identity, and what it truly takes to stop masking and start thriving.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

01:43 The AuDHD contradiction nobody talks about

04:14 What people with AuDHD are terrified of being judged for

06:29 The AuDHD assessment Dr Khurram will never forget

07:37 What almost every AuDHD adult blames themselves for

08:32 Why so many people with AuDHD think they're a bad friend

10:01 The hidden danger of never finding your AuDHD tribe

10:34 Why masking AuDHD is so exhausting

13:43 The most heartbreaking part of living with AuDHD

16:22 Why loneliness feels different with AuDHD

19:10 Why partners often misunderstand AuDHD

22:07 Tiimo advert

23:59 5 hidden signs you're masking AuDHD

25:03 How an AuDHD diagnosis changes relationships

30:13 The moment you realise your whole life was masking

34:45 What AuDHD burnout really feels like

36:45 The true cost of never unmasking AuDHD

39:08 Stop fighting your AuDHD brain

40:56 Why so many people with AuDHD believe they're broken

45:07 If you were diagnosed late, you need to hear this

45:42 The hardest part of living with AuDHD

47:10 A letter to my younger self

Dr Khurram on LinkedIn 👉 https://uk.linkedin.com/in/dr-khurram-sadiq

Dr Khurram’s book 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Explaining-AuDHD-Guide-Autism-ADHD/dp/1804369489

Dr Khurram on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/fomosapien666/?hl=en

Book to see Dr Khurram in clinic for an ADHD assessment 👉 https://adhdhealthclinic.co.uk/adhd-treatment-options/in-person-adhd-assessment/

For an Autism assessment 👉 https://adhdhealthclinic.co.uk/autism/in-person-autism-assessment/

For a combined ADHD and autism assessment 👉 https://adhdhealthclinic.co.uk/autism/in-person-combined-autism-adhd-assessment/

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Order Alex’s latest book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward 

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ella McCrystal is a psychotherapist and trauma specialist who helps people understand how early life experiences shape the nervous system, self-worth, relationships, and the way we move through the world.

Together we explore the hidden link between ADHD, trauma, masking, rejection sensitivity (RSD), and why so many people with ADHD feel like they have to become someone else just to be accepted. We also discuss how trauma can make ADHD symptoms feel even more overwhelming, why masking is often a survival response, and what healing can actually look like.

If you've ever wondered who you really are beneath the mask, this episode is for you.

Chapters:

00:00 Trailer

01:16 How do you separate who you are from who you've had to become to survive?

04:02 The childhood experiences that teach people to mask

13:18 Why ADHD can make you more vulnerable to abuse

17:10 How trauma can intensify rejection sensitivity (RSD)

21:29 Why rejection hurts people with ADHD so deeply

23:49 How to calm your nervous system when RSD is triggered

30:07 Tiimo advert

31:26 Is masking actually a survival response?

36:01 What happens when you finally stop masking

37:55 Why masking leaves so many people feeling lonely

40:42 How to find your people and stop feeling alone

44:32 The one thing people with ADHD need to stop apologising for

47:53 The biggest lie people with ADHD have been taught about themselves

52:11 The message every person with ADHD needs to hear

54:05 A letter to my younger self

Visit Ella’s website 👉 https://ellamccrystal.com

Find Ella on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/ellamccrystal/

Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter

Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817

Order Alex’s latest book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e

Producer: Timon Woodward 

Recorded by: Hamlin Studios

Trailer editor: Ryan Faber

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices