Send us a textA candid, compassionate deep-dive into the blurry line between love bombing and real love. We unpack butterflies vs. nervous system chaos, boundaries vs. rules, conditional love, attachment styles, and why “calm” is the greenest flag. We share therapy takeaways (hi Angela 👋), inner-child insights, and real-life examples, from “you can’t wear that” to silent treatment. So you can spot control, honour your needs, and choose relationships that let you be you.Trigger warning: contains discussion of abuse, victim shaming, suicide, and mental health.Common traits of rigid, porous, and healthy boundaries.Rigid Boundaries• Avoids intimacy and close relationships.• Unlikely to ask for help.• Has few close relationships.• Very protective of personal information.• May seem detached, even with romantic partners.• Keeps others at a distance to avoid the possibility of rejection.Porous Boundaries• Overshares personal information.• Difficulty saying “no” to the requests of others.• Overinvolved with other’s problems.• Dependent on the opinions of others.• Accepting of abuse or disrespect.• Fears rejection if they do not comply with others.Healthy Boundaries• Values own opinions.• Doesn’t compromise values for others.• Shares personal information in an appropriate way (does not over or under share).• Knows personal wants and needs, and can communicate them.• Accepting when others say “no” to them.⸻Most people have a mix of different boundary types. For example, someone could have healthy boundaries at work, porous boundaries in romantic relationships, and a mix of all three types with their family. One size does not fit all!If you need support right now, here are some resources that may help:National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 200 0247Samaritans (UK) – Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)National Suicide Prevention Helpline (US) – Call or text 988Crisis Text Line (US/UK) – Text HOME to 741741Women’s Aid (UK) – womensaid.org.uk‘I’m not sure if my relationship is healthy/ I’m worries about someone else/ I need support - The survivors handbook: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/informat...Claires Law - Apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you: https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request...We also have direct links to support resources on our landing page:
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The Silent Crowd: Victim Shaming, Enabling, and the Cost of Standing By
Send us a textIn one of our most unfiltered and urgent conversations yet, we unpack the hidden harm of victim shaming and enabling: the moments when silence, minimisation, and misplaced loyalty feed abuse instead of stopping it. From family members brushing things under the rug to friends still inviting abusers to the barbecue, we name the ways “not getting involved” makes you part of the problem.We share personal stories of being dismissed, doubted, and told “it’s not that bad,” and explore how that apathy can be more soul-crushing than the abuse itself. This episode isn’t just for survivors — it’s for friends, family, and bystanders who might one day be the lifeline someone needs.It’s fierce, it’s raw, and it’s a call to action: stop excusing harm. Stop enabling it. And stop letting it hide in plain sight.Trigger warning: contains discussion of abuse, victim shaming, suicide, and mental health.10 ways you can help end violence against women: Listen to and believe survivors Teach the next generation and learn from them Call for responses and services fit for purpose Understand consent Learn the signs of abuse and how you can help Start a conversation Stand against rape culture Fund women's organizations Hold each other accountable Know the data and demand more of itIf you need support right now, here are some resources that may help:National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 200 0247Samaritans (UK) – Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)National Suicide Prevention Helpline (US) – Call or text 988Crisis Text Line (US/UK) – Text HOME to 741741Women’s Aid (UK) – womensaid.org.uk‘I’m not sure if my relationship is healthy/ I’m worries about someone else/ I need support - The survivors handbook: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/informat...Claires Law - Apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you: https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request...We also have direct links to support resources on our landing page: https://stan.store/houseofherpodWe created what we needed when we were healing. Our house is your house.
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The Truth About Trauma Bonds: Why Leaving Isn’t Simple
Send us a textTrigger warning: This episode covers abuse, trauma and mental health. Please listen when you feel ready.What if leaving wasn’t the hardest part?In this raw and deeply honest episode, Hollie and Mollie unravel one of the most confusing and painful parts of abuse recovery, trauma bonding.From brain chemistry to heartbreak, from missing someone who hurt you to rebuilding your sense of self, this conversation is both an education and a lifeline.If you’ve ever thought “Why do I still miss him?” or “Am I going mad?”, this episode is for you. You are not alone. You are not broken. And there is life on the other side of this.What Is Trauma Bonding? Trauma bonding happens when a person develops a strong emotional attachment to someone who is abusive or harmful toward them. It's driven by cycles of intense highs and lows - affection, followed by abuse, then affection again which create confusion and dependency. The bond can feel incredibly powerful, making it very hard for a person to leave even a dangerous relationship.The Brain Chemistry Behind It Trauma bonding isn't just emotional - it's biochemical. After an abusive incident, the brain craves relief and connection, and when the abuser provides affection again, the brain releases dopamine (the feel-good chemical).Cortisol (the stress hormone) spikes during fear or conflict, then drops when the abuser is kind again, making the brain associate relief with the abuser. This chemical rollercoaster can become addictive, reinforcing the bond.Why It's So Confusing People often wonder: "Why don't they just leave?" but trauma bonding can deeply affect judgement and self-esteem. The victim may hold on to memories of the "good times" and believe they can get the loving side of the person back. Abusers often isolate victims from friends and family, making the bond even stronger because the abuser becomes the centre of the victim's world.It's Not Only Romantic RelationshipsTrauma bonds can happen in various relationships: Romantic partnersParent-child dynamics Friendships Cults or extremist groups Workplaces with abusive leadershipInteresting Facts Stockholm Syndrome is a form of trauma bonding, where hostages develop sympathy for their captors. Trauma bonds can form surprisingly quickly, sometimes within days, in highly intense situations. The longer the cycle continues, the harder it becomes to break the bond because of entrenched neurological pathways. Even after leaving, victims may miss the abuser and feel tempted to reconnect, due to those deep emotional hooks. Therapy approaches like trauma-informed counselling, EMDR, and somatic therapy can help people break trauma bonds and heal.Signs You Might Be in a Trauma Bond Feeling loyal to someone despite repeated harm. Making excuses for their bad behaviour. Doubting your memory or reality (gaslighting). Feeling "addicted" to the relationship. Being afraid to leave because of how empty or anxious it might feel.Hope and Healing Breaking a trauma bond takes time and support. Understanding what's happening in your brain and emotions can empower you to make safer choices. Support groups, therapy, and trusted friends or family can be crucial lifelines.
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Bonus Episode: Hitting Top 10 & The HERhood
Send us a textThis bonus episode is pure gratitude and disbelief. Hollie & Mollie sit down, raw and unfiltered, to share the whirlwind of emotions from seeing House of H.E.R hit the top 10 in the Apple Podcasts Mental Health charts, right next to their idol, Roxie Nafousi.From late-night tears and joyful car screams to the weight of transforming their own pain into something that now holds space for thousands of women, this episode is a love letter to every listener.They also share the heart behind launching The Her Hood, an intimate community designed to connect and support women beyond the podcast.If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to turn heartbreak into healing — this is it.Head to the link in our bio to join the HERhood 🥀https://www.patreon.com/c/HOUSEOFHER_?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
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Sleeping with the Enemy: A Story of Affection & Abuse… He Loved Me Loudly, Hurt Me Quietly.
Send us a textSome stories are hard to hear.Some stories are harder to live through.This is Hollie's.Of a love that turned violent. A friendship that turned into fear.And the slow, sacred journey of finding her way home to herself.We speak honestly here — about manipulation, gaslighting, control, and how hard it is to leave when the world only sees the highlight reel.If you need a sign… this is it.Please follow the links on our stan store for details on where to find support:https://stan.store/houseofherpod ❤️🩹🫂Or contact us via DM or email [email protected] 💌
Welcome to the House of H.E.R. (Healed, Empowered, Rich) – a safe space and unapologetic movement for women who are rewriting their stories after abuse, heartbreak, understanding ADHD or simply losing themselves in the chaos of life.Hosted by Hollie & Mollie two women who broke free from toxic relationships, faced their trauma head-on, got diagnosed with ADHD later in life and are now building empires while healing their hearts. We’re not experts we’re real women, having raw conversations about emotional abuse, ADHD, trauma bonding, self-worth, healing, empowerment, and financial independence.This podcast is for the woman who feels stuck, silenced, or scared but knows deep down she’s meant for more. If you’re in your healing era, your selfish season, or you’re just ready to finally become her this is your home. Expect truth, tears, laughs, and the occasional F-bomb… because healing isn’t always pretty, but damn is it powerful.Come as you are. Leave as H.E.R. Your home now X
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