From high-demand to low-demand: my journey of letting go
This is a deeply personal episode. I am in the guest seat to share my transformation from high-demand, perfectionist parenting to the radical practice of Low Demand Parenting. Interviewed by my dear friend Rabbi Shoshana Meira Friedman, I open up about the turning point in my parenting journey, how the collapse of old paradigms gave way to deep healing, and why letting go isn’t failure—it’s freedom. Together, we explore the spiritual depth of radical acceptance, the impact of privilege on parenting choices, and why practicing low demand is never all-or-nothing. This episode is a love letter to the part of you that’s wondering if it’s okay to stop trying so hard.
Rabbi Shoshana Meira Friedman: https://www.rabbishoshana.com
The PDA Safe Circle is a new app, course, and welcoming online community designed to decrease distress and increase thriving for PDAers and our loved ones. Diane Gould of PDA North America calls The PDA Safe Circle Approach “a game changer.” No waitlist. Membership rates are equity-based and no one is turned away for financial reasons.
Ross Greene and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model: https://livesinthebalance.org
Misophonia information: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24460-misophonia
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26:07
Why motherhood is killing us
In this powerful and deeply moving conversation, I am joined by Ambreia Meadows-Hernandez of Free Black Motherhood. Together, we unpack what it means to mother freely within systems built to demand your erasure. Ambreia shares how she is deconstructing martyr-based motherhood, reclaiming her identity as a liberated Black mother, and moving toward a more expansive and embodied parenting practice rooted in presence, emotional transparency, and intergenerational healing. We talk about the impossibility of perfection, the false expectations placed on mothers—especially Black mothers—and how parenting can be a radical act of justice. If you’ve ever felt like you had to disappear to be a “good” mom, this episode is for you.
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MEET AMBREIA:
Ambreia Meadows-Fernandez is a storyteller, public speaker, facilitator, and motherhood scholar who processes the world through her award-winning writing. Sometimes, these efforts are birthed as reported journalistic-style pieces. Other times, they manifest as essays where she tries to use her personal experiences as a window into larger societal trends. She found her writing voice in the aftermath of birth trauma. The experience compelled her to share her story and create Freeblackmotherhood – a way of mothering that asks 'Black mothers and others' to prioritize self-love and authentic expression in all things while asking them to imagine a world where Black women are free to feel. Her mediums change, but her passion for health, especially reproductive matters, remains the same.
• Learn more about Ambreia
• Follow her on Instagram at Free Black Motherhood
• SisterSong
• Patricia Hill Collins (Black Feminist scholarship)
• Adrienne Rich (Of Woman Born)
• Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now)
• Ambreia's article exploring Partus sequitur ventrem (status of the child follows the mother)
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28:21
Mailbag: Should I pull my kid from school?
I respond to a question from a parent navigating a painful dilemma: when a child is really struggling in school, how do we know when it’s time to pull them out? I explore two intertwined questions—how to recognize when it’s truly “too much,” and how to care for ourselves in the aftermath of such a big, life-changing decision. I share tools for tuning into our child’s nervous system, identifying red flags, and listening to our own inner knowing. I also talk about how to create sustainable routines, even in the chaos of burnout and unpredictability. This is an episode for anyone in the limbo of indecision, wondering if it’s “bad enough yet.” You are not alone.
Additional Resources:
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom
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The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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21:26
What I Wish I Knew Sooner About My Kid's Brain
In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Robyn Gobbel, trauma therapist and author of Big Baffling Behaviors. Together, we explore how to talk to our kids about their brains, why it matters so much, and how understanding our nervous systems helps us parent with compassion and connection. Robyn shares her Owl, Watchdog, and Possum framework—a playful and accessible way to explain our brain states—and we dive deep into how nervous system science can transform the way we understand our kids’ struggles, our own reactions, and the path to healing for the whole family. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt baffled by their child’s behavior and longed for a way to explain the unexplainable—with love, curiosity, and a lot less shame.
Explore the Restore Your Soul Mastermind here --> Mastermind
LINKS FOR MORE DETAILS:
• Robyn Gobbel’s website: https://robyngobbel.com
• Robyn’s book Big Baffling Behaviors: https://robyngobbel.com/book
• Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges: https://www.stephenporges.com
• Dr. Bruce Perry’s Neurosequential Model: https://www.neurosequential.com
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26:51
Won't versus Can't: The mindset shift that changes everything
When I started practicing low demand parenting, it wasn’t because I read a book or found a perfect system. It was because our family hit a wall—and nothing else was working. One of the very first mindset shifts that saved me, and continues to guide me every single day, is this: shifting from won’t to can’t.
This episode is all about that shift—from believing our kids (or ourselves) won’t do something, to realizing they can’t in this moment. I unpack:
Where the “won’t” mentality comes from and why it’s so ingrained in us.
How shifting to “can’t” opens up curiosity and compassion (for your kid and yourself).
What happens in the early phases of low demand parenting when all the hidden can’ts start tumbling out.
How safety, masking, and nervous system overwhelm all play into what your child can (and can’t) do—and how that changes from moment to moment.
If you’ve ever thought, “They won’t just put their shoes on, they won’t go to bed without me, they won’t do their homework,” this episode is for you. Let’s rethink it together.
ADDITIONAL LINKS
Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (Plan B) - https://www.livesinthebalance.org
Submit a question for future episodes via SpeakPipe
Previous episode: What is Low Demand Parenting?
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom
The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. Hosted by Amanda Diekman—author, autistic adult, and mom of three—this podcast isn’t about perfection or expert advice. It’s about learning together how to drop the demands that weigh us down and find the ease we crave in our families. Whether you’re navigating neurodivergence, challenging behaviors, or simply the highs and lows of life, this show offers honest conversations, practical insights, and a whole lot of compassion. Let's thrive, even when it feels like life is on level 12 hard.
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