Middle Man

• Midlife Stories: My Father’s Death Changed Everything, with Ben Veal

  The gradual ageing and then passing away of our parents is inevitable during midlife. But navigating the grief and the emotional turmoil that comes with the death of our fathers is incredibly complex. It can be the catalyst for many profound male midlife experiences, including both reflection and transformation. This week’s show features a deeply personal, raw and honest conversation between Paul and Ben Veal about grief, burnout, fatherhood and midlife identity. Bonded by the shared experience of losing their fathers in 2023, Ben and Paul talk about loss, resilience and rediscovery. Ben opens up about the impact of losing his dad, the emotional weight of stepping into the role of “the oldest male” in his family, and how this life-altering loss has shifted his perspective from chasing professional accolades to focusing on purpose, health, and legacy. He discusses the toll of running a small business during an economic downturn, raising two neurodivergent children, and juggling multiple creative ventures, and reflects on using creativity as a coping mechanism. This moving episode is about the emotional realities of middle age and what it really means to grow into the next phase of life with intention. --------------- You can connect with Ben on LinkedIn and buy "From Badd to Good: The Inspiring Story of a Wrestling Wildman" on Amazon If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

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• We Don’t Need More Mental Health Awareness; We Need More Action - Luke Ambler on Preventing Suicide

  It is often repeated that ‘men don’t talk’ and that, if they did, there would not be a mental health crisis among midlife men. Luke Ambler established ANDYSMANCLUB in 2016 following the tragic loss of his brother-in-law to suicide. Recognising the urgent need for safe spaces where men could open up without judgment, he started a small support group that has since grown into a network of hundreds of clubs across the UK, helping thousands of men each week. In this powerful and raw episode of Middle Man, Paul talks to Luke about his deeply personal journey, from experiencing his own mental health struggles to creating a national movement that encourages men to open up and seek support. Together they challenge the myth that men don’t talk, arguing that they just need the right environment to feel safe and supported, and discuss why the phrase "it's OK not to be OK" is dangerous. Luke explores the stigma around male vulnerability and discusses the importance of accountability. His no-nonsense approach cuts through the social media noise on this topic, and he offers practical advice on resilience, self-care, and taking ownership of your mental wellbeing. If you or someone you know is struggling, this is a must-listen. This episode is also part of Podcastathon, a global charitable initiative where podcasters around the world dedicate one episode of their show to a charity of their choice. Over 1500 shows are releasing special episodes simultaneously to raise awareness for those causes. --------------- You can find your local group at www.andysmanclub.co.uk. If you have been affected by the themes discussed in this show, you can contact The Samaritans on 116 123 or text 'shout' to 85258. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

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• Retirement is a Dangerous Illusion - Ken Valledy on Midlife Careers

  There’s very little more soul destroying for a midlife man than working in a job or a career for which he has lost his passion. And yet we tell ourselves the story that everyone has to do this, that it’s only for another 15 or 20 years, and that then we can retire and enjoy ourselves. Not realising that that impact of doing something that doesn’t fulfil you for two decades is incredibly detrimental to your health and wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Ken Valledy, who works with midlife men to explore the possibilities of entrepreneurship and to help them break free of the constraints of lifelong careers that they don’t enjoy. Ken believes that if you’re someone who’s reached a stage in your life where you want more from the time you spend at work, it’s within your power to do something about that, no matter whether you’re a corporate high flyer or a painter and decorator. While there’s an awful lot to be said for pivoting career in midlife, there are also practical implications, mostly around money. But Ken challenges the notion that people must endure careers they no longer enjoy because of finances, and argues that alternative paths, such as side hustles or starting a business, are within reach for many to find fulfillment. He debunks some of the myths surrounding entrepreneurship, and introduces a practical approach designed to help individuals take small, manageable steps toward career independence. If you’re fed up in your job but feel powerless to do anything about it, this episode will prove to you that there’s more to life than waiting for retirement. --------------- You can contact Ken on LinkedIn and buy The Startup Lexicon on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

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• Most Doctors Have Never Even Heard of Andropause! - Ross Tomkins on Low Testosterone

  The andropause, or the male menopause, is the decline in testosterone that occurs naturally in men from their mid 30s onwards. Unlike the female menopause, the hormonal changes we experience are slow and subtle. And unlike the menopause, andropause is not a widely recognised medical condition. But the impact of low testosterone can be significant in some men. Ross Tomkins is the co-founder of Alphagenix, which offers medically supervised testosterone replacement therapy. He founded the company to help men following his own experiences within both the NHS and private practice. He believes that not only are many men misdiagnosed with depression rather than low testosterone, but that most GPs have not even heard of the andropause.  This week Paul talks to Ross about how low testosterone typically manifests and what the impact can be on men’s mental and physical health. Ross shares his personal journey of struggling with low testosterone, being dismissed by multiple doctors, and ultimately finding answers through testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). He discusses why men are often prescribed antidepressants instead of addressing underlying hormonal imbalances. The conversation explores the stigma around low testosterone, the reluctance of men to seek help, and how lifestyle factors like diet, sleep, and exercise can naturally boost hormone levels before considering TRT. Ross also highlights the potential long-term implications of declining testosterone levels, including its links to midlife crises and even male suicide rates. If you feel like you’ve lost your drive, energy or motivation, this episode provides crucial insights into why that might be, and what you can do about it. --------------- You can find out more about testosterone replacement therapy at www.alphagenix.co.uk and contact Ross on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

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• Midlife Stories: Reinventing Life, with Paul Flynn

  Life changes can come thick and fast during midlife. From changes to family set up, whether that be having children or marriage break ups or kids leaving home, to shifts in career, to changes in location and social dynamics, to parental illness and death, midlife can be a tumultuous time when it is easy to fine yourself feeling overwhelmed, disconnected and lost. This week Paul talks to Paul Flynn who, after a number of big life changes in his late 30s and early 40s, found himself feeling isolated, unfulfilled and longing for his former lifestyle. But then he discovered outdoor swimming and the trajectory of his life changed radically. What started as a solo pursuit led to the creation of a new wild swimming club and a community offering midlife men the opportunity to reconnect with themselves, nature, and each other. Paul shares how swimming in icy waters became a game-changer for his mental wellbeing, reigniting his sense of adventure, forging new friendships and creating a new career path. And he talks about the importance of saying “yes” to new experiences and the small but powerful steps that can shift midlife from a crisis to a new beginning. --------------- You can find out more about the Blue Bloods Wild Swim Club on Facebook. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast

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