From the outside my life looked wonderful. I had an amazing wife, three great kids, a beautiful house in the countryside and a successful consultancy business. ...
The Year End Check In: Reflection, Rest and Rediscovery
When Middle Man was conceived earlier this year it was with a hunch that if I felt the way I did in midlife, then other men must be feeling the same way. Little did I know that quite so many men were feeling quite so disconnected, frustrated and alone.
This week’s episode provides some tips on using the holiday season to put yourself in the best possible place for positive change in 2025, and it also revisits those first couple of episodes to look at how things have progressed since then, both for me and for Middle Man’s listeners. I’m sharing a little more about the ups and downs of my own journey out of the midlife funk I talked about back in the summer.
And I’m re-introducing three guests who have featured on the show before: Andrew Waddell, Daniel Glyde and Nick Edgar. Each offers advice for using the holiday period to set positive goals for next year, providing valuable strategies, from writing a future self letter to engaging in physical activity and having meaningful conversations.
If you’ve found Middle Man insightful or interesting or helpful, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-reflection-rest-rediscovery
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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38:58
Midlife Stories: Modern Masculinity with Tom Stroud
Shifting dynamics around masculinity have meant that it has come under fire in recent years, largely due to the unrepresentative viewpoints of an extremely vocal minority of outspoken public figures. But there are also those out there seeking to redefine modern masculinity in positive terms and to help men to navigate life’s complexities with authenticity and accountability.
Tom Stroud appeared on the Netflix show ‘Love is Blind UK’ in the summer, and has since chosen to use the platform he’s been given to challenge perceptions of modern masculinity rather than pursuing brand deals. This week Paul talks candidly to Tom about his personal journey, including the impact of his childhood and recent spells of introspection, and about why he feels a passion for helping men to improve their relationships and their mental health.
Tom shares insights into the challenges men face in embracing vulnerability and self-awareness, highlighting the importance of redefining traditional gender roles and expectations. And he emphasises the importance of men understanding themselves and their roles, advocating for a balanced approach to gender equality.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-tom-stroud
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
If you enjoy this episode you can support the podcast by buying me a coffee at Ko-Fi
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45:03
Becoming Unstuck and Leading Yourself to Fulfilment
Many men report feeling ‘stuck’ in midlife. Trapped in their lives, no matter how ‘successful’ they may be, with no idea how to change their circumstances and lead lives that are more rewarding and fulfilling. But by exploring emotions, behaviours and values with curiosity rather than judgement, things can change fast.
This week Paul talks to Nick Edgar about self leadership, and about the value of self awareness and emotional agility. While the path to self-leadership may seem at first to be a somewhat alien concept and therefore, feel daunting, meaningful change begins with small, consistent steps toward curiosity and compassion, rather than huge life changes.
Offering a roadmap for men seeking to reclaim their identity, purpose, and fulfilment, Nick also introduces the concept of self-soothing behaviours, and discusses how to identify these patterns and understand their root causes.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-self-leadership
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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52:18
Understanding the Role of Shame in the Midlife Crisis
Shame is an incredibly powerful and complex emotion that is often overlooked in the therapeutic environment. But particularly during midlife, unresolved shame could be one of the biggest emotional instigators of what is referred to as the midlife crisis.
This week Paul talks to Rob Etherson, co-creator of Shame Containment Theory, about the concept of shame and about how and why it may negatively impact men in midlife. Rob explains how shame contributes heavily to the feeling of unworthiness that many midlife men report, resulting in an emotional crisis of behaviour and mental wellbeing.
Shame plays a central role in shaping our behaviours, relationships, and sense of worth, and left uncontained, the self judgement and criticism that can result from this can be extremely harmful. The need to understand and address shame to mitigate its impact on mental health and behaviour is therefore incredibly important.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-shame-midlife-crisis
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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47:30
Midlife Stories: Overcoming Self Doubt with Simon Burgess
Self doubt and lack of confidence plague many midlife men. It is among the most prevalent challenges men face as they transition into the second half of life, contributing to a sense of a lack of purpose, loneliness and poor mental wellbeing.
This week Paul talks to Simon Burgess, the host of Life’s Second Act, who shares his journey of rediscovering purpose and meaning while navigating self-doubt, and explains how speaking with others on his podcast has broadened his understanding of what it means to embrace change.
Simon reflects on how conversations with others have highlighted common themes, including the role of intuition, self-awareness, and the courage to make transformative life changes. He talks about how these individuals have often found meaning by stepping beyond self-limiting beliefs and embracing uncertainty but how, for him, the process of change is ongoing and challenging.
You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-simon-burgess
I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at [email protected] and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
From the outside my life looked wonderful. I had an amazing wife, three great kids, a beautiful house in the countryside and a successful consultancy business. But on the inside, I was deeply unhappy. I felt trapped by the very life that I had designed. I felt that I had no sense of purpose. And I’d lost all sense of who I was or what my place in the world was. But what I’ve discovered since is that it needn’t be this way. Middle Man is the show for midlife men and the people who love them. It helps midlife men to rediscover themselves and to embrace the second half of life with positivity, enjoyment and purpose. So if you’re a midlife man with a creeping sense of unease and unhappiness that you can’t put your finger on, if you feel unappreciated and isolated, or if you’ve looked around at your life and thought “is this really it?”, then Middle Man is the show for you. Join me on a shared journey of self-discovery.